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I love my friends but I want to kill one of them, Help me.
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<blockquote data-quote="Arbiter of Wyrms" data-source="post: 4070284" data-attributes="member: 18021"><p><strong>Warlord</strong>,</p><p>I totally support you in this and offer you every condolence. I've played every different role I can think of in the scenario you're going through and I can say that I wouldn't choose to go back to any of them.</p><p></p><p>That said, <strong>LightPhoenix</strong> is right on every count. </p><p></p><p>Follow this advice as closely as you can manage. Incidentally, since I can only imagine that it is a matter on concern for you, she will eventually figure out exactly who the captain is on her own and you will almost certainly not be vindicated in hers, or anyone else's eyes, nor will you feel vindicated (the other possibility is that she will <u>not</u> figure out who he is, in which case you can count your lucky stars that you didn't end up with her).</p><p></p><p>These sort of situations are inherently unsavory and the winner is the one who worries least about them. Apologize to the Captain for interfering with the relationship. Apologize to her for pushing the issue after your initial assertion to her that they were ill-matched and acknowledge that your interest is selfish - it is more for your own benefit that you want to break them up than for hers - that's fine and normal and right if you acknowledge it to at least yourself.</p><p></p><p>Parenthetically, if you never did express this to her explicitly, you can make that a part of your apology: "Jane, I apologize. I tried to interfere with your relationship with John because I think that you two make a terrible couple, that he's all wrong for you; because I felt betrayed by him because he knew that I was interested in you when he first pursued you, and honestly, because I still think that you and I would be great together. The truth is, I acted like an ass, and I'm sorry. I respect you enough to know that you can make that decision for yourself, and from now on, I'm going to stop being a jerk by acting like I know better than you do what's right for you."</p><p></p><p>Be the bigger person.</p><p></p><p>Be sincere in your apologies to both of them.</p><p></p><p>Acknowledge to yourself the overall lack of success in the strategy you've used.</p><p></p><p>Move on.</p><p></p><p>Hang out with the rest of the group and be civil, even cordial towards the captain. You don't have to pretend that you are still best friends, that you like him, or even that you think he should go on breathing. Treat yourself with enough respect to treat others with politeness no matter what.</p><p></p><p>Then post here again and let us know how it worked out. ENWorld is a community and we give a rip about one another - even those whose opinions on game design differ from my own and are therefore wrong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Arbiter of Wyrms, post: 4070284, member: 18021"] [B]Warlord[/B], I totally support you in this and offer you every condolence. I've played every different role I can think of in the scenario you're going through and I can say that I wouldn't choose to go back to any of them. That said, [B]LightPhoenix[/B] is right on every count. Follow this advice as closely as you can manage. Incidentally, since I can only imagine that it is a matter on concern for you, she will eventually figure out exactly who the captain is on her own and you will almost certainly not be vindicated in hers, or anyone else's eyes, nor will you feel vindicated (the other possibility is that she will [U]not[/U] figure out who he is, in which case you can count your lucky stars that you didn't end up with her). These sort of situations are inherently unsavory and the winner is the one who worries least about them. Apologize to the Captain for interfering with the relationship. Apologize to her for pushing the issue after your initial assertion to her that they were ill-matched and acknowledge that your interest is selfish - it is more for your own benefit that you want to break them up than for hers - that's fine and normal and right if you acknowledge it to at least yourself. Parenthetically, if you never did express this to her explicitly, you can make that a part of your apology: "Jane, I apologize. I tried to interfere with your relationship with John because I think that you two make a terrible couple, that he's all wrong for you; because I felt betrayed by him because he knew that I was interested in you when he first pursued you, and honestly, because I still think that you and I would be great together. The truth is, I acted like an ass, and I'm sorry. I respect you enough to know that you can make that decision for yourself, and from now on, I'm going to stop being a jerk by acting like I know better than you do what's right for you." Be the bigger person. Be sincere in your apologies to both of them. Acknowledge to yourself the overall lack of success in the strategy you've used. Move on. Hang out with the rest of the group and be civil, even cordial towards the captain. You don't have to pretend that you are still best friends, that you like him, or even that you think he should go on breathing. Treat yourself with enough respect to treat others with politeness no matter what. Then post here again and let us know how it worked out. ENWorld is a community and we give a rip about one another - even those whose opinions on game design differ from my own and are therefore wrong. [/QUOTE]
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