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I need bad D&D jokes! (my players stay out)
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<blockquote data-quote="Felix" data-source="post: 511516" data-attributes="member: 3929"><p>A three-legged blink dog walks into a saloon. "I'm lookin fer the man who shot me pa."</p><p></p><p>**********</p><p></p><p>It was a quiet day in Barrowdale when two wandering friars of Obad-Hai walk into town. After a few days, they set up their flower shop on Main Street. They grow the best, most beautiful flowers ever seen this side of the Prime Material, and sell them for next to nothing. Within days all of Barrowdale's wives are buying flowers from the friars, and Pete Wilson, the local florist, realizes that he will soon go out of business.</p><p></p><p>Pete goes to talk to the friars and pleads with them to leave town. He says his children will starve, his sixth generation flower shop will close, his wife will leave him, and his dog will run away for good if the friars run him out of business. The friars bless him, but say that this is their duty in this life, and can't leave town.</p><p></p><p>The next day Pete timidly walks into the local ale house to find Hugh McMillian: the meanest, rottenest, hooten-tootenist muscle-for-hire in the land. Pete talks with him for a short time and leaves 20 gold pieces poorer.</p><p></p><p>The next day the friars of Obad-Hai go to their flower shop and find everything smashed, destroyed, and urinated upon. McMillian is standing in the middle of the wreck, walks up, grabs each friar by his collar, lifts them into the air, and says "If you two ain't gone by mid-afternoon, you two will be fertilizing these flowers back to health!" With that, he throws them accross the room, and strides out of the shop. Needless to say, the two friars leave Barrowdale without a moment lost.</p><p></p><p>The moral: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Felix, post: 511516, member: 3929"] A three-legged blink dog walks into a saloon. "I'm lookin fer the man who shot me pa." ********** It was a quiet day in Barrowdale when two wandering friars of Obad-Hai walk into town. After a few days, they set up their flower shop on Main Street. They grow the best, most beautiful flowers ever seen this side of the Prime Material, and sell them for next to nothing. Within days all of Barrowdale's wives are buying flowers from the friars, and Pete Wilson, the local florist, realizes that he will soon go out of business. Pete goes to talk to the friars and pleads with them to leave town. He says his children will starve, his sixth generation flower shop will close, his wife will leave him, and his dog will run away for good if the friars run him out of business. The friars bless him, but say that this is their duty in this life, and can't leave town. The next day Pete timidly walks into the local ale house to find Hugh McMillian: the meanest, rottenest, hooten-tootenist muscle-for-hire in the land. Pete talks with him for a short time and leaves 20 gold pieces poorer. The next day the friars of Obad-Hai go to their flower shop and find everything smashed, destroyed, and urinated upon. McMillian is standing in the middle of the wreck, walks up, grabs each friar by his collar, lifts them into the air, and says "If you two ain't gone by mid-afternoon, you two will be fertilizing these flowers back to health!" With that, he throws them accross the room, and strides out of the shop. Needless to say, the two friars leave Barrowdale without a moment lost. The moral: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars. [/QUOTE]
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