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<blockquote data-quote="Sialia" data-source="post: 1547009" data-attributes="member: 1025"><p>I enjoyed reading both stories.</p><p></p><p>I especially liked Macbeth's use of "Grief" and Mythago's use of "The First Mystery."</p><p> </p><p>(I promised Piratecat I'd tell him what Grief actually was a picture of after the stories and judging were all in, and would only tell him up front that it was a painting from real life.</p><p> </p><p>Oddly enough, while both the subject of Grief and I remember the moment in which I painted it very clearly, neither of us can now recall what led us to that particularly awful moment.)</p><p> </p><p>I thought Mythago's story ocasionally suffered from stopping forward action to pick up too much backstory. I'd have liked the flashback to "grief" better if it had become relevant again at a later point in the story--if I had needed to know that particular piece of history to get to the ending. Perhaps if it had been broken into several scattered pieces through the tale so that the whole picture didn't really come together until some critical juncture. Strongest assets of the story were the attention to locale and culture--I asked for a story that could distinguish between New Jersey and Ohio, and I got that and change to spare.</p><p> </p><p>Picky, tiny detail for Macbeth--the sacrifice probably should have been done with a super sharp knife across the throat, rather than a disembowelling. But blood sprinkled everywhere is right on. Good picture usage--I liked the way you saw the altar and the blood in the inkblot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sialia, post: 1547009, member: 1025"] I enjoyed reading both stories. I especially liked Macbeth's use of "Grief" and Mythago's use of "The First Mystery." (I promised Piratecat I'd tell him what Grief actually was a picture of after the stories and judging were all in, and would only tell him up front that it was a painting from real life. Oddly enough, while both the subject of Grief and I remember the moment in which I painted it very clearly, neither of us can now recall what led us to that particularly awful moment.) I thought Mythago's story ocasionally suffered from stopping forward action to pick up too much backstory. I'd have liked the flashback to "grief" better if it had become relevant again at a later point in the story--if I had needed to know that particular piece of history to get to the ending. Perhaps if it had been broken into several scattered pieces through the tale so that the whole picture didn't really come together until some critical juncture. Strongest assets of the story were the attention to locale and culture--I asked for a story that could distinguish between New Jersey and Ohio, and I got that and change to spare. Picky, tiny detail for Macbeth--the sacrifice probably should have been done with a super sharp knife across the throat, rather than a disembowelling. But blood sprinkled everywhere is right on. Good picture usage--I liked the way you saw the altar and the blood in the inkblot. [/QUOTE]
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