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[IRON DM] Spring 2004 Contest Thread FINAL JUDGMENT POSTED, CHAMPION ANNOUNCED!
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<blockquote data-quote="Wulf Ratbane" data-source="post: 1499352" data-attributes="member: 94"><p><strong>[PLAIN][IRON DM] ROUND ONE, MATCH 3 JUDGEMENT (Howandwhy99 vs Enkhidu)[/PLAIN]</strong></p><p></p><p>I wish I could preserve some sense of mystery in this judgement but it is just too clear cut.</p><p></p><p>What we have in this matchup seems, to me, an illustration of what separates an adequate Iron DM entry from a good one. </p><p></p><p>Note I didn’t say a great entry—I don’t think either entry is great, but one shows an experience in the art form that the other lacks.</p><p></p><p>Howandwhy’s entry covers all of the ingredients. Neglecting for a moment the macguffin Bird of Paradise presented in the form of the statuette, the Bird of Paradise <em>plant</em> is an excellent example of twisting the wording of the ingredients to your needs. Here, this Bird of Paradise in plant form is used to make the fresh poison—good bridge. Enkhidu tries this to some extent by naming the inn “The Bird of Paradise” but in this case, the ingredient doesn’t actually change from its expected form: it’s still a bird.</p><p></p><p>As a side note, this is one of the reasons that it is important that the judge choose ingredients that are pregnant with possibilities. Most ingredients need some sort of adjectival or adverbial affix in order to allow for this kind of creative use. Where one word ingredients are used, they should nevertheless have open possibilities: the difference between Renaissance, for example, as opposed to say, Cat.</p><p></p><p>Howandwhy has many other similarly creative elements in his entry, though for the most part, unfortunately, they are not part of the ingredient list. His faerie ghetto is more interesting to me, as a visual spectacle; and I like the use of the Mirror of Opposition as a wizard’s test.</p><p></p><p>Which is not to say that there are really any major flaws in ingredient use. They are all present, and in a couple Howandwhy covered his bases by doubling up on the use. There’s no doubt that every ingredient is used (though some, like the Poison, are weakly used and almost overlooked).</p><p></p><p>Howandwhy’s entry is simply not as <em>tight</em> as Enkhidu’s entry. Enhkidu also uses every ingredient, but the stark difference is in the sense of cohesion and coherence overall. Howandwhy’s entry seems jumbled, rushed, and confusing at times.</p><p></p><p>I note with some pleasure lack of “background” on Enkhidu’s entry. The ingredients blend together so strongly that we really don’t have or need any background. The story has a 6 month lead on the PCs but that is really unnecessary; the entry would play as well if the PCs arrived at the same time as the monks for the birth itself. The only reason for any sense of time in this entry is to strengthen the feeling of Renaissance in the traditional (as opposed to literal) sense. I would accept here that the child Jade as, literally, the Rebirth of an Enlightened Ancestor, would cover the bill.</p><p></p><p>The only moment of major concern in Enhidu’s entry was the sense of railroading in the kidnapping attempt itself; canny players are likely to sense the importance of this birth and be wary of Rat Bastardly possibilities; were I not the sort to play callous, jaded PCs myself, I’d likely sense the importance of this child and make steps to protect her. That the entry doesn’t make any allowances for the PCs to disrupt the kidnapping is a flaw.</p><p></p><p>There are other minor flaws—the fresh poison is not used particularly boldly—but nothing that would sink the entry. </p><p></p><p>Both entries do an honest job of presenting all of the ingredients in a tangible way that the PCs will taste them all. But the sense of cohesion, what seems an almost effortless bridging of every ingredient, makes the two entries as different as night and day.</p><p></p><p>I clearly have to award this round to [spoiler] Enkhidu. [/spoiler] The loser can take some solace in the fact that, with the demonstrated ability to tie ingredients together, and a bit more practice, spit and polish on the overall cohesion and coherence of the entry, he will fare better. Indeed, this entry would have clearly beaten other entries that already we’ve seen in this tourney.</p><p></p><p>Just not this particular competitor on this particular day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wulf Ratbane, post: 1499352, member: 94"] [b][PLAIN][IRON DM] ROUND ONE, MATCH 3 JUDGEMENT (Howandwhy99 vs Enkhidu)[/PLAIN][/b] I wish I could preserve some sense of mystery in this judgement but it is just too clear cut. What we have in this matchup seems, to me, an illustration of what separates an adequate Iron DM entry from a good one. Note I didn’t say a great entry—I don’t think either entry is great, but one shows an experience in the art form that the other lacks. Howandwhy’s entry covers all of the ingredients. Neglecting for a moment the macguffin Bird of Paradise presented in the form of the statuette, the Bird of Paradise [I]plant[/I] is an excellent example of twisting the wording of the ingredients to your needs. Here, this Bird of Paradise in plant form is used to make the fresh poison—good bridge. Enkhidu tries this to some extent by naming the inn “The Bird of Paradise” but in this case, the ingredient doesn’t actually change from its expected form: it’s still a bird. As a side note, this is one of the reasons that it is important that the judge choose ingredients that are pregnant with possibilities. Most ingredients need some sort of adjectival or adverbial affix in order to allow for this kind of creative use. Where one word ingredients are used, they should nevertheless have open possibilities: the difference between Renaissance, for example, as opposed to say, Cat. Howandwhy has many other similarly creative elements in his entry, though for the most part, unfortunately, they are not part of the ingredient list. His faerie ghetto is more interesting to me, as a visual spectacle; and I like the use of the Mirror of Opposition as a wizard’s test. Which is not to say that there are really any major flaws in ingredient use. They are all present, and in a couple Howandwhy covered his bases by doubling up on the use. There’s no doubt that every ingredient is used (though some, like the Poison, are weakly used and almost overlooked). Howandwhy’s entry is simply not as [I]tight[/I] as Enkhidu’s entry. Enhkidu also uses every ingredient, but the stark difference is in the sense of cohesion and coherence overall. Howandwhy’s entry seems jumbled, rushed, and confusing at times. I note with some pleasure lack of “background” on Enkhidu’s entry. The ingredients blend together so strongly that we really don’t have or need any background. The story has a 6 month lead on the PCs but that is really unnecessary; the entry would play as well if the PCs arrived at the same time as the monks for the birth itself. The only reason for any sense of time in this entry is to strengthen the feeling of Renaissance in the traditional (as opposed to literal) sense. I would accept here that the child Jade as, literally, the Rebirth of an Enlightened Ancestor, would cover the bill. The only moment of major concern in Enhidu’s entry was the sense of railroading in the kidnapping attempt itself; canny players are likely to sense the importance of this birth and be wary of Rat Bastardly possibilities; were I not the sort to play callous, jaded PCs myself, I’d likely sense the importance of this child and make steps to protect her. That the entry doesn’t make any allowances for the PCs to disrupt the kidnapping is a flaw. There are other minor flaws—the fresh poison is not used particularly boldly—but nothing that would sink the entry. Both entries do an honest job of presenting all of the ingredients in a tangible way that the PCs will taste them all. But the sense of cohesion, what seems an almost effortless bridging of every ingredient, makes the two entries as different as night and day. I clearly have to award this round to [spoiler] Enkhidu. [/spoiler] The loser can take some solace in the fact that, with the demonstrated ability to tie ingredients together, and a bit more practice, spit and polish on the overall cohesion and coherence of the entry, he will fare better. Indeed, this entry would have clearly beaten other entries that already we’ve seen in this tourney. Just not this particular competitor on this particular day. [/QUOTE]
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[IRON DM] Spring 2004 Contest Thread FINAL JUDGMENT POSTED, CHAMPION ANNOUNCED!
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