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Is Tabletop Gaming D&D's "Sideshow"?
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<blockquote data-quote="schnee" data-source="post: 7717826" data-attributes="member: 16728"><p>I want a movie series based on each edition of the game.</p><p></p><p>OD&D - Barsoom meets Land of the Lost meets Wizards (the animated movie) meets Three Hearts and Three Lions. And lots of character names that sound like modern ones spelled backwards. </p><p></p><p>Basic - One epic dungeon crawl, with random monster encounters, hauling out loot, leveling-up montages, and approximately one character death (followed by an immediate replacement) every twenty minutes. The stylistic choice of the characters not having names, and referring to each other by their profession (or race) is seen as in poor taste given the current political climate.</p><p></p><p>AD&D - Twenty-four people trudge around looking for adventure, eighteen of them being hirelings with Ranseurs, Glaives, Glaive-Gusarmes, Halberds, and Gusarme-Volges, that regularly die horribly and get replaced at the next tavern / drinking montage. The last ten minutes is a series of jump-cuts showing everyone dying messily in the Tomb of Horrors.</p><p></p><p>AD&D 2E - It's a series of vignettes. The same actors and characters, but they spend 30 minutes in Dark Sun (an homage to Fury Road), Planescape (see: Fifth Element), Ravenloft (see: Near Dark), and Spelljammer (see: Titan A.E.). This movie ends up getting the most fan acclaim but loses all sorts of money. </p><p></p><p>AD&D 3E - Michael Bay takes over, and says "those Wizards were totally under-powered and never got enough screen time. Let's make them really cool!" and he manages to make the entire 2:30 runtime a special effects extravaganza of meteor swarms, chain lightning, swift maximized twinned sonic rays of scorching, and Clerics buffing themselves. The final battle is a Goliath hurling planets at a Kobold until they both get bored and leave.</p><p></p><p>AD&D 4E - The only movie where the Fighters actually have as much screen time and ability to drive the plot forward as the Wizards. In an odd stylist choice, however, it's filmed entirely from an Isometric perspective. This one got very contentious reviews. The Blu-Ray release was quietly scrapped.</p><p></p><p>...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="schnee, post: 7717826, member: 16728"] I want a movie series based on each edition of the game. OD&D - Barsoom meets Land of the Lost meets Wizards (the animated movie) meets Three Hearts and Three Lions. And lots of character names that sound like modern ones spelled backwards. Basic - One epic dungeon crawl, with random monster encounters, hauling out loot, leveling-up montages, and approximately one character death (followed by an immediate replacement) every twenty minutes. The stylistic choice of the characters not having names, and referring to each other by their profession (or race) is seen as in poor taste given the current political climate. AD&D - Twenty-four people trudge around looking for adventure, eighteen of them being hirelings with Ranseurs, Glaives, Glaive-Gusarmes, Halberds, and Gusarme-Volges, that regularly die horribly and get replaced at the next tavern / drinking montage. The last ten minutes is a series of jump-cuts showing everyone dying messily in the Tomb of Horrors. AD&D 2E - It's a series of vignettes. The same actors and characters, but they spend 30 minutes in Dark Sun (an homage to Fury Road), Planescape (see: Fifth Element), Ravenloft (see: Near Dark), and Spelljammer (see: Titan A.E.). This movie ends up getting the most fan acclaim but loses all sorts of money. AD&D 3E - Michael Bay takes over, and says "those Wizards were totally under-powered and never got enough screen time. Let's make them really cool!" and he manages to make the entire 2:30 runtime a special effects extravaganza of meteor swarms, chain lightning, swift maximized twinned sonic rays of scorching, and Clerics buffing themselves. The final battle is a Goliath hurling planets at a Kobold until they both get bored and leave. AD&D 4E - The only movie where the Fighters actually have as much screen time and ability to drive the plot forward as the Wizards. In an odd stylist choice, however, it's filmed entirely from an Isometric perspective. This one got very contentious reviews. The Blu-Ray release was quietly scrapped. ... [/QUOTE]
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