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Jodo Kast's Savage Tidings (Updated July 9, 2007)
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<blockquote data-quote="Jodo Kast" data-source="post: 3369089" data-attributes="member: 4810"><p><strong>Trouble on the Blue Nixie</strong></p><p></p><p>Kora Whistlegap knocked gently at the door to the room in which Rubbumba and Zhandlegarri slept. Hearing no answer, she tried again, a bit more forcefully. Finally she opened the door just a little and peered in. To her dismay, she saw Rubb lying on the floor, a large egg-shaped bump apparent on his bald noggin. She hurried over to rouse him.</p><p></p><p>“Master Rubbumba, are you all right?”</p><p></p><p>Rubb opened one tired eye, touched the painful knot rising on his head, and realized he was on the floor. He gave Kora an embarrassed smile. “Um, all right, yes, thank you.” He leapt up and found his pants. Zhandle stirred in bed. Soon the two were clothed and followed Kora downstairs for breakfast.</p><p></p><p>“Are you okay, Rubb?” Zhandle asked soothingly.</p><p></p><p>Rubb’s entire face and head flushed bright red. “We shall never speak of this again.”</p><p></p><p>The two joined Johari for a small, but satisfying breakfast. When they were finished, the tall woman stood. “Let us attend to these smugglers. If they have harmed but one of nature’s creatures, they shall regret it dearly.”</p><p></p><p>The three companions found Jouko already at the pier. Earlier that morning a barkeep had found him asleep under a table, and tossed him rudely onto the street. He had been watching the Blue Nixie ever since.</p><p></p><p>“Top o da’ morn to ya,” said Jouko, blowing a kiss in Johari’s direction. “Miss me, lass?”</p><p></p><p>“Ah, you look even uglier by daylight. But I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. I feared you’d be drunk or dead in some gutter, and we’d be a man short.”</p><p></p><p>“So, where is this ship?” asked Rubb.</p><p></p><p>“That be the Nixie there, off da pier about a hundred paces. Up for a swim?”</p><p></p><p>One thug, a human male, was visible on the quarterdeck, leaning idly against the ship's wheel. “So much for sneaking aboard, then,” mumbled Rubb.</p><p></p><p>“There be at least three aboard.”</p><p></p><p>Zhandlegarri whispered to Rubbumba. “He's not thinking of swimming is he? I can only dog paddle.”</p><p></p><p>Rubbumba patted Zhandle’s hand. “What is your plan then, scoundrel?”</p><p></p><p>“Of course I be talkin o'swimming!”</p><p></p><p>Zhandlegarrii turned pale.</p><p></p><p>Rubbumba pondered the several small rowboats tied off to the pier. “My love is not one for swimming, but I have an idea! Nobody would suspect foul play from a small rowboat with nought but a pretty, young lost halfling maiden inside. The rest of us can swim in behind her boat and board the Blue Nixie while the thugs are distracted.”</p><p></p><p>“Perhaps I can offer a distraction more to the liking of these scurvy dogs?” said Johari. Without hesitation, she shamelessly peeled the hide armor away from her firm breasts. She stepped into a dinghy and gestured for Zhandle to join her. Blushing, Zhandle gulped and boarded the dinghy with Rubb’s help. Jouko deftly untied the boat, muttering something about stealing the craft in broad daylight. Johari took up the oars and pushed off toward the Nixie.</p><p></p><p>Jouko, staring blatantly after Johari, took two quick strides to the end of the pier, jumped off, and entered the water in a perfect dive. Rubb jumped in after him, clutching his nose with one hand and making quite a splash. The strong current threatened to flush him out to sea, but Jouko extended a hand, caught Rubb by the collar, and pulled him along.</p><p></p><p>Zhandlegarri looked to Johari’s heaving bosom as the exotic woman pulled hard on the oars. She then looked down at her own breasts. She strained to unbutton the high collar of her dress, finished one button, blushed at the simple act and left it at that. As the dinghy neared the Blue Nixie, the thug on the quarterdeck called out. "Who goes thar … why hello there, beauties!"</p><p></p><p>Jouko drew a quick breath and dove under water, pulling Rubb with him. The two stayed hidden from view, angling toward the ship’s bow.</p><p></p><p>Zhandlegarrii waved her hanky, nearly tumbling out of the boat. Johari called out lustily to the thug. “Hello sailor! I know it can be so lonely out at sea. And since it seems your captain won't let you come into port to satisfy your needs, I thought the least we could do was bring satisfaction to you.” Zhandle put a hand to her mouth and mumbled, “Oh dear!” Rubbumba nearly choked on a mouthful of sea water.</p><p></p><p>The thug stared at Johari's firm, bronzed breasts. "Ah, not many like ye about the harbor, that's fer sure. And the little one too, eh? Half-price, I'm thinkin', harrr!"</p><p></p><p>Zhandlegarrii opened her mouth wide in shock at the vulgar comment. “Half-price?!” she harrumphed.</p><p></p><p>“We’re a team,” teased Johari. “One price includes everything.”</p><p></p><p>“Um, yeah,” said Zhandlegarrii. “I could, um, you like, erm, you know….” Zhandle began counting on her fingers. “But I don’t do that, or that of course, and certainly not that….”</p><p></p><p>The thug rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Boys, look at this." Two more thugs appeared near the rail on the main deck. "Vark would be pissed, but he still be sleepin.'"</p><p></p><p>Jouko had to hold onto Rubb tightly as the halfling sputtered and kicked. Jouko guided Rubb to some ropes out of the thug’s line of sight, and began climbing aboard.</p><p></p><p>“What do you say, boys?” called Johari. “Bring us up and we'll take care of the three of you!"</p><p></p><p>The first thug nodded at the others. “All right then, but we have to keep it quiet.” The thugs on the main deck lowered ropes for Johari and Zhandle and began pulling them quickly on board.</p><p></p><p>“Oh, they’ll be quiet enough with their mouths full,” called one of the thugs as he helped Zhandle over the rail.</p><p></p><p>“That’s quite enough” muttered Rubb as he climbed a rope up the side of the ship. He lunged over the rail and bellowed, "That's my wife you're talking about, villain – and she's worth full price, nothing less!" Jouko moaned and nimbly leapt aboard the Nixie.</p><p></p><p>The thugs appeared startled. Though they all carried crossbows, none were at the ready. Zhandle began quietly casting a spell, hoping to go unnoticed. The nearest thug, however, swung at her with his unloaded crossbow. The weapon narrowly missed the top of her skull. As she finished the spell, she quietly said the word, “Sleep.” The thug’s eyes glazed over and he dropped to the deck like a sack of potatoes.</p><p></p><p>In the confusion, Johari swiftly drew her scimitar and swung it in a wide arc, cutting deeply into the chest of the thug nearest her, a vile man with an eye-patch. Seeing his opportunity, Rubb raced across the deck and swung his short-sword with all his might. The attack caught the injured thug unawares, striking deep into his thigh and sending up an arterial spray of blood. The man collapsed in writhing pain on the deck and almost immediately lost consciousness.</p><p></p><p>The thug on the quarterdeck screamed, “Ye filthy sneakin’ treacherous bitch!” He leveled his crossbow at Johari and let loose a bolt that sunk into her left shoulder, just above her wicker shield. The thug then screamed a cry of alarm. “All hand adeck, we’ve been boarded!”</p><p></p><p>Jouko sprang into action, pulling his spiked chain from around his neck as he leapt to the base of the stair leading to the quarterdeck. Jouko sent his chain swinging in a low arc at the thug’s feet. Jouko pulled the chain tight, and the thug fell hard on the deck. Without pause, Jouko sent his chain into action again. This time, the chain found the man’s throat, neatly snapping his neck. He flopped like a fish for an instant, and then lay still.</p><p></p><p>Before they could enjoy their victory, the companions heard the sound of activity below deck, and more cries of alarm!</p><p></p><p><em>To be continued...</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jodo Kast, post: 3369089, member: 4810"] [b]Trouble on the Blue Nixie[/b] Kora Whistlegap knocked gently at the door to the room in which Rubbumba and Zhandlegarri slept. Hearing no answer, she tried again, a bit more forcefully. Finally she opened the door just a little and peered in. To her dismay, she saw Rubb lying on the floor, a large egg-shaped bump apparent on his bald noggin. She hurried over to rouse him. “Master Rubbumba, are you all right?” Rubb opened one tired eye, touched the painful knot rising on his head, and realized he was on the floor. He gave Kora an embarrassed smile. “Um, all right, yes, thank you.” He leapt up and found his pants. Zhandle stirred in bed. Soon the two were clothed and followed Kora downstairs for breakfast. “Are you okay, Rubb?” Zhandle asked soothingly. Rubb’s entire face and head flushed bright red. “We shall never speak of this again.” The two joined Johari for a small, but satisfying breakfast. When they were finished, the tall woman stood. “Let us attend to these smugglers. If they have harmed but one of nature’s creatures, they shall regret it dearly.” The three companions found Jouko already at the pier. Earlier that morning a barkeep had found him asleep under a table, and tossed him rudely onto the street. He had been watching the Blue Nixie ever since. “Top o da’ morn to ya,” said Jouko, blowing a kiss in Johari’s direction. “Miss me, lass?” “Ah, you look even uglier by daylight. But I’m glad to see you, nonetheless. I feared you’d be drunk or dead in some gutter, and we’d be a man short.” “So, where is this ship?” asked Rubb. “That be the Nixie there, off da pier about a hundred paces. Up for a swim?” One thug, a human male, was visible on the quarterdeck, leaning idly against the ship's wheel. “So much for sneaking aboard, then,” mumbled Rubb. “There be at least three aboard.” Zhandlegarri whispered to Rubbumba. “He's not thinking of swimming is he? I can only dog paddle.” Rubbumba patted Zhandle’s hand. “What is your plan then, scoundrel?” “Of course I be talkin o'swimming!” Zhandlegarrii turned pale. Rubbumba pondered the several small rowboats tied off to the pier. “My love is not one for swimming, but I have an idea! Nobody would suspect foul play from a small rowboat with nought but a pretty, young lost halfling maiden inside. The rest of us can swim in behind her boat and board the Blue Nixie while the thugs are distracted.” “Perhaps I can offer a distraction more to the liking of these scurvy dogs?” said Johari. Without hesitation, she shamelessly peeled the hide armor away from her firm breasts. She stepped into a dinghy and gestured for Zhandle to join her. Blushing, Zhandle gulped and boarded the dinghy with Rubb’s help. Jouko deftly untied the boat, muttering something about stealing the craft in broad daylight. Johari took up the oars and pushed off toward the Nixie. Jouko, staring blatantly after Johari, took two quick strides to the end of the pier, jumped off, and entered the water in a perfect dive. Rubb jumped in after him, clutching his nose with one hand and making quite a splash. The strong current threatened to flush him out to sea, but Jouko extended a hand, caught Rubb by the collar, and pulled him along. Zhandlegarri looked to Johari’s heaving bosom as the exotic woman pulled hard on the oars. She then looked down at her own breasts. She strained to unbutton the high collar of her dress, finished one button, blushed at the simple act and left it at that. As the dinghy neared the Blue Nixie, the thug on the quarterdeck called out. "Who goes thar … why hello there, beauties!" Jouko drew a quick breath and dove under water, pulling Rubb with him. The two stayed hidden from view, angling toward the ship’s bow. Zhandlegarrii waved her hanky, nearly tumbling out of the boat. Johari called out lustily to the thug. “Hello sailor! I know it can be so lonely out at sea. And since it seems your captain won't let you come into port to satisfy your needs, I thought the least we could do was bring satisfaction to you.” Zhandle put a hand to her mouth and mumbled, “Oh dear!” Rubbumba nearly choked on a mouthful of sea water. The thug stared at Johari's firm, bronzed breasts. "Ah, not many like ye about the harbor, that's fer sure. And the little one too, eh? Half-price, I'm thinkin', harrr!" Zhandlegarrii opened her mouth wide in shock at the vulgar comment. “Half-price?!” she harrumphed. “We’re a team,” teased Johari. “One price includes everything.” “Um, yeah,” said Zhandlegarrii. “I could, um, you like, erm, you know….” Zhandle began counting on her fingers. “But I don’t do that, or that of course, and certainly not that….” The thug rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Boys, look at this." Two more thugs appeared near the rail on the main deck. "Vark would be pissed, but he still be sleepin.'" Jouko had to hold onto Rubb tightly as the halfling sputtered and kicked. Jouko guided Rubb to some ropes out of the thug’s line of sight, and began climbing aboard. “What do you say, boys?” called Johari. “Bring us up and we'll take care of the three of you!" The first thug nodded at the others. “All right then, but we have to keep it quiet.” The thugs on the main deck lowered ropes for Johari and Zhandle and began pulling them quickly on board. “Oh, they’ll be quiet enough with their mouths full,” called one of the thugs as he helped Zhandle over the rail. “That’s quite enough” muttered Rubb as he climbed a rope up the side of the ship. He lunged over the rail and bellowed, "That's my wife you're talking about, villain – and she's worth full price, nothing less!" Jouko moaned and nimbly leapt aboard the Nixie. The thugs appeared startled. Though they all carried crossbows, none were at the ready. Zhandle began quietly casting a spell, hoping to go unnoticed. The nearest thug, however, swung at her with his unloaded crossbow. The weapon narrowly missed the top of her skull. As she finished the spell, she quietly said the word, “Sleep.” The thug’s eyes glazed over and he dropped to the deck like a sack of potatoes. In the confusion, Johari swiftly drew her scimitar and swung it in a wide arc, cutting deeply into the chest of the thug nearest her, a vile man with an eye-patch. Seeing his opportunity, Rubb raced across the deck and swung his short-sword with all his might. The attack caught the injured thug unawares, striking deep into his thigh and sending up an arterial spray of blood. The man collapsed in writhing pain on the deck and almost immediately lost consciousness. The thug on the quarterdeck screamed, “Ye filthy sneakin’ treacherous bitch!” He leveled his crossbow at Johari and let loose a bolt that sunk into her left shoulder, just above her wicker shield. The thug then screamed a cry of alarm. “All hand adeck, we’ve been boarded!” Jouko sprang into action, pulling his spiked chain from around his neck as he leapt to the base of the stair leading to the quarterdeck. Jouko sent his chain swinging in a low arc at the thug’s feet. Jouko pulled the chain tight, and the thug fell hard on the deck. Without pause, Jouko sent his chain into action again. This time, the chain found the man’s throat, neatly snapping his neck. He flopped like a fish for an instant, and then lay still. Before they could enjoy their victory, the companions heard the sound of activity below deck, and more cries of alarm! [I]To be continued...[/I] [/QUOTE]
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