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Mat Smith's Writing is Unpleasant [RANT]
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<blockquote data-quote="barsoomcore" data-source="post: 605304" data-attributes="member: 812"><p>Yeah. pretty much. And stupid magic items like "The Rod of Red Dragon Control" and faced off against Kings of Thieves who did things like make us run through his idiotic mazes so we could have his crystal or whatever and had beholders show up in completely ridiculous locales (for no reason whatsoever) -- and for us, a plot like <em>"We have to get the Rod of Gold Dragon Control in order to summoun the Gold Dragons to fight against the evil wizard who's gotten the Rod of Red Dragon Control and is attacking the Queen with an army of red dragons and now I'm flying on my pet gold dragon (sweet!) and that red dragon you just hit falls and impales itself on a tower spike (cool!) and, um, the thief can backstab the bad guy, sure and some swordfights, natural 20, right on, and the bad guy fumbles so you know what? A gold dragon comes up and bites his head off. But before you can get a reward, um, there's this big flash and suddenly you're somewhere else! It's really exciting!"</em> was actually pretty ambitious and sophisticated.</p><p></p><p>It all rings a lot of bells in my head, let me tell you.</p><p></p><p>Sorry, J.D. Does it help if I say I understand each and every objection to the movie -- the acting was spectacularly bad, like high school plays get better performances -- the story was insipid -- the effects, well I thought the effects did the job, actually. No worse than, say, The Scorpion King (yes, I liked the Scorpion King, too. A lot.) There are many, many reasons to dislike the D&D movie. I know. It's a laughable, pathetic thing in many ways. I like it for all those reasons. It charms me to bits.</p><p></p><p>They TRIED. They really, really tried. It doesn't feel like a soulless, commercial effort to cash in on gullible filmgoers. It doesn't have pointless T&A to bring in the adolescent market, it doesn't have some cheesy pop group of the moment doing a title song for no purpose other than to sell soundtracks, it's really just a DM making a movie about his little campaign. The guy's a DM, not a lawyer or an accountant or a sleazy producer out for a quick a buck. He's a DM. I bet he's a pretty good DM. And somehow he got the money and the rights and he went out and made his movie on his terms. So he's not a very good director or writer. Neither am I. So his ideas are derivative and amateurish. So are mine. At least he got up and went and did it.</p><p></p><p>I say, good for him. And I like watching his film because I get a sense of his personality in it. And I think I'd like him. And a sense of personality is pretty rare in today's cinema world -- especially in product-inspired cinema.</p><p></p><p>All I know is, I'll watch the D&D movie with much more enthusiasm and amusement than I can watch bombastic pablum like Gladiator, with its overproduced visuals, unconvincing effects, manipulative imagery and pretend pathos. Blah.</p><p></p><p>/rant</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barsoomcore, post: 605304, member: 812"] Yeah. pretty much. And stupid magic items like "The Rod of Red Dragon Control" and faced off against Kings of Thieves who did things like make us run through his idiotic mazes so we could have his crystal or whatever and had beholders show up in completely ridiculous locales (for no reason whatsoever) -- and for us, a plot like [i]"We have to get the Rod of Gold Dragon Control in order to summoun the Gold Dragons to fight against the evil wizard who's gotten the Rod of Red Dragon Control and is attacking the Queen with an army of red dragons and now I'm flying on my pet gold dragon (sweet!) and that red dragon you just hit falls and impales itself on a tower spike (cool!) and, um, the thief can backstab the bad guy, sure and some swordfights, natural 20, right on, and the bad guy fumbles so you know what? A gold dragon comes up and bites his head off. But before you can get a reward, um, there's this big flash and suddenly you're somewhere else! It's really exciting!"[/i] was actually pretty ambitious and sophisticated. It all rings a lot of bells in my head, let me tell you. Sorry, J.D. Does it help if I say I understand each and every objection to the movie -- the acting was spectacularly bad, like high school plays get better performances -- the story was insipid -- the effects, well I thought the effects did the job, actually. No worse than, say, The Scorpion King (yes, I liked the Scorpion King, too. A lot.) There are many, many reasons to dislike the D&D movie. I know. It's a laughable, pathetic thing in many ways. I like it for all those reasons. It charms me to bits. They TRIED. They really, really tried. It doesn't feel like a soulless, commercial effort to cash in on gullible filmgoers. It doesn't have pointless T&A to bring in the adolescent market, it doesn't have some cheesy pop group of the moment doing a title song for no purpose other than to sell soundtracks, it's really just a DM making a movie about his little campaign. The guy's a DM, not a lawyer or an accountant or a sleazy producer out for a quick a buck. He's a DM. I bet he's a pretty good DM. And somehow he got the money and the rights and he went out and made his movie on his terms. So he's not a very good director or writer. Neither am I. So his ideas are derivative and amateurish. So are mine. At least he got up and went and did it. I say, good for him. And I like watching his film because I get a sense of his personality in it. And I think I'd like him. And a sense of personality is pretty rare in today's cinema world -- especially in product-inspired cinema. All I know is, I'll watch the D&D movie with much more enthusiasm and amusement than I can watch bombastic pablum like Gladiator, with its overproduced visuals, unconvincing effects, manipulative imagery and pretend pathos. Blah. /rant [/QUOTE]
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