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Maure Money [min. spoilers, max. humor]
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<blockquote data-quote="Ipissimus" data-source="post: 2942138" data-attributes="member: 41514"><p>Maure Money: Episode 4</p><p>It's Tyrg... TYRG! T-Y-R-G...</p><p></p><p>Prologue:</p><p>A rest stop and a few teleports later to replace their losses, our heroes have descended one level and scraped a huge Tyrg off their boots only to discover yet another Tapestry...</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: Ok, guys, remember this level's deeper down, so in all likelihood it'll be much harder than the last. The moment we let our guard down something will kill us, Eldarion has to check everything before we so much as breathe on it. Agreed?</p><p></p><p>Everyone nods.</p><p></p><p>BOBNOBBLE: -checks out the tapestry- Definitely Arley's work. Should fetch what, Marcus? 1000gp?</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: More like 2500.</p><p></p><p>CELENE: I can't believe you sold the Succubus tapestry. That thing was, like, EVIL.</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: It was worth money. I was caught between the moral choice of destroying evil or taking evil's money to give to the poor, starving, orphan children of my parish.</p><p></p><p>CELENE: You spent the money on Resurrection Scrolls.</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: Ah, but it's vitally important that we survive. If we're not alive, who will donate huge ammounts of money to our church in order that we can feed and clothe the poor, starving, orphan children?</p><p></p><p>CELENE: So next time we're going to give our money to the orphans?</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: Now, hold on there. We may need more Resurrection Scrolls.</p><p></p><p>CELENE: -rubs her temples- So... exactly how are we helping the little orphans?</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: I gave them a whole batch of IOUs. They're heartily looking forward to us delivering the million gp I promised them.</p><p></p><p>BOBNOBBLE: -chokes- WHAT? I hope that's coming out of your share of the treasure.</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: -looks down gravely on his short companion- You would deprive poor, starving, orphans of gold for your own base nature?</p><p></p><p>BOBNOBBLE: Look, pal, I'm as charitible as the next adventurer. But Celene and I have magical research to do...</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: Ah, well, in the interests of advancing science, I'm sure the orphans would be happy to recieve your IOUs. I'll deliver them the same time I deliver mine.</p><p></p><p>CELENE: I thought you worship Pelor, God of Goodness and Light.</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: Oh, yes, but my order, The Holy Order of Church Accountants and Treasurers, takes a different tac to the rest of the orthodox religion.</p><p></p><p>ELDARION: Don't bother arguing, guys, he's an expert in Theology. I'm thinking of taking holy orders myself from his example.</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: Bless you, my son. Ok, enough of this, we need to get this tapestry back to town to we can start calculating the value of our IOU to the starving orphans...</p><p></p><p>MARCUS reefs down the tapestry, revealing three Glyph Traps of Instant Death. Everyone except MARCUS dies. Sighing, the cleric uses his last three scrolls of Resurection to bring back the whole party.</p><p></p><p>MARCUS: You know the cost of those scrolls is coming out of your shares of the treasure.</p><p></p><p>BOBNOBBLE: That's ok, here's our IOUs...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ipissimus, post: 2942138, member: 41514"] Maure Money: Episode 4 It's Tyrg... TYRG! T-Y-R-G... Prologue: A rest stop and a few teleports later to replace their losses, our heroes have descended one level and scraped a huge Tyrg off their boots only to discover yet another Tapestry... MARCUS: Ok, guys, remember this level's deeper down, so in all likelihood it'll be much harder than the last. The moment we let our guard down something will kill us, Eldarion has to check everything before we so much as breathe on it. Agreed? Everyone nods. BOBNOBBLE: -checks out the tapestry- Definitely Arley's work. Should fetch what, Marcus? 1000gp? MARCUS: More like 2500. CELENE: I can't believe you sold the Succubus tapestry. That thing was, like, EVIL. MARCUS: It was worth money. I was caught between the moral choice of destroying evil or taking evil's money to give to the poor, starving, orphan children of my parish. CELENE: You spent the money on Resurrection Scrolls. MARCUS: Ah, but it's vitally important that we survive. If we're not alive, who will donate huge ammounts of money to our church in order that we can feed and clothe the poor, starving, orphan children? CELENE: So next time we're going to give our money to the orphans? MARCUS: Now, hold on there. We may need more Resurrection Scrolls. CELENE: -rubs her temples- So... exactly how are we helping the little orphans? MARCUS: I gave them a whole batch of IOUs. They're heartily looking forward to us delivering the million gp I promised them. BOBNOBBLE: -chokes- WHAT? I hope that's coming out of your share of the treasure. MARCUS: -looks down gravely on his short companion- You would deprive poor, starving, orphans of gold for your own base nature? BOBNOBBLE: Look, pal, I'm as charitible as the next adventurer. But Celene and I have magical research to do... MARCUS: Ah, well, in the interests of advancing science, I'm sure the orphans would be happy to recieve your IOUs. I'll deliver them the same time I deliver mine. CELENE: I thought you worship Pelor, God of Goodness and Light. MARCUS: Oh, yes, but my order, The Holy Order of Church Accountants and Treasurers, takes a different tac to the rest of the orthodox religion. ELDARION: Don't bother arguing, guys, he's an expert in Theology. I'm thinking of taking holy orders myself from his example. MARCUS: Bless you, my son. Ok, enough of this, we need to get this tapestry back to town to we can start calculating the value of our IOU to the starving orphans... MARCUS reefs down the tapestry, revealing three Glyph Traps of Instant Death. Everyone except MARCUS dies. Sighing, the cleric uses his last three scrolls of Resurection to bring back the whole party. MARCUS: You know the cost of those scrolls is coming out of your shares of the treasure. BOBNOBBLE: That's ok, here's our IOUs... [/QUOTE]
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