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<blockquote data-quote="Samnell" data-source="post: 1231" data-attributes="member: 130"><p><strong>XIV-Missing, and Found</strong></p><p></p><p>Wherein our hero finds a missing companion, and hears of past misadventures.</p><p></p><p>Lord Semmon, some sun-loving god-kissing human from the aboveground had sent Burble and the humans here. This same Lord Semmon had sent these two newcomers. That was typical. Only a human would send two groups of humans after the same goal and expect anything short of utter ruin. One gathering of daylight-fetishists was bad enough. Two was a kobold's nightmare. Meepo was glad he hadn't conceived of it in his dreams. He needed what sleep he could get; knowing that for some time in the night Lorn would be guarding him.</p><p></p><p>The tall one was another Lorn. Meepo was positive. He wasn't so heavily armored, but he had Burble's arrow sticking out of his shoulder and he was smiling about it. The two suicidal warriors would surely find companionship in their shared idiocy. Granted, most all humans Meepo had met shared some of Lorn's disregard for his own life, but few seemed to take such perverse glee in throwing their lives away then these two. Their gods must love them.</p><p></p><p>Sal spoke up, not content with seeing how well talking had done last time he tried it. "Burble, perhaps I could meet them part way and we could talk without you putting any more arrows in their hides? Lorn, would you care to join me? And Meepo, how about lowering that crossbow so I don't end up with another projectile sticking out of my shoulder."</p><p></p><p>That offended Meepo. He hadn't shot Sal in the shoulder. That was Bryant. If Sal wanted to kill anyone over it, he should kill the quiet human. No, that was a bad idea. Sal should kill one of the blathering humans first to make Meepo's days that much quieter. But a kobold could only dream.</p><p></p><p>"Go for it Sal. Just watch your rear." Burble said.</p><p></p><p>Meepo sighed. He might as well play along. He lowered his crossbow and cast his eyes towards the floor in what he imagined was a look of contrition. "Meepo not shoot Sal. Bryant shoot Sal. Meepo shoot Embrill." He finished with a self-satisfied nod and held his snout high. At least he had set the record straight.</p><p></p><p>Then Meepo realized his error. This must be corrected. "No, Meepo shoot Worthless Druid." He spit on the floor and raised his snout even higher. "Worthless Druid with wolf</p><p>mate." The thought of it restored some of that contentment within him.</p><p></p><p>"You're right my friend and I am just sorry that I ever broke down to help that ******* or you could not have killed him with your shot. Hope that the damned rats can track him down and kill him for all to see." That was a nice thought on Burble's part. It warmed Meepo's heart. " I would join you in the spit Meepo, but not that fricker is not even worth spit."</p><p></p><p>Meepo nodded, "Meepo think rats not like Worthless Druid. Worthless Druid worth something if makes nice rat stomachs. Meepo say Worthless Druid worthless all the time." Having espoused his personal philosophy on the matter, Meepo was momentarily content.</p><p></p><p>Sal worked his way through the group, "I'm not going to apologize for my friends actions there, we have had some... problems on this rescue mission, but I think I may be able to</p><p>help all of us out if you will allow me to come over and talk with you two."</p><p></p><p>Problems? They had problems? Meepo hadn't guessed. Could those problems be mad, suicidal, humans? No, humans were only like that in the stories. Never mind that those stories are based entirely on reality.</p><p></p><p>Sal leaned towards Meepo and Burble as he passed the friends, "If things go south, I'm going to leap to the left side of the corridor, do me a favor and aim to the right slightly..." He continued speaking up and addressing the newcomers again. "Ha, I see you have a fine lantern there. Just out of curiosity do you happen to have any extra oil in your packs? We suddenly find ourselves with less than we'd like to have."</p><p></p><p>Maybe this could go well after all. Sal wasn't quite so stupid as Lorn or Rowland. He couldn't be or Burble wouldn't call him a friend. Burble clearly had impeccable taste in friends. How else would he have named Meepo a friend?</p><p></p><p>The tall one had relaxed a bit. "Certainly! I'm sure it'll be to all of our advantages to parley for a bit. And as for this?" he indicated his wound "It's nothing that some ointment and a nice clean bandage won't help." He winced as he mentioned it. Meepo hoped it hurt. He deserved it for sneaking up on the group like that. Besides, he was a human. It's not like accidentally maiming a human would be something to feel bad about. Colvin leaned suddenly to one side and Meepo hoped he would fall. The tall archer steadied himself, though.</p><p></p><p>"Well, I'm not too sure about the oil. It's Rillith's lantern and I suppose she would know better than I how much oil she has. I only have a couple of torches myself. But should you need them..."</p><p></p><p>Rillith. That was the short one's name. It must be. Now what was she under those robes? A halfling? A kobold? Could she be a gnome? Meepo hated gnomes. All sane folk did. Everyone knew what murderous, cutthroats gnomes were. They snuck into kobold homes at night and stole away hatchlings for their sick gods to devour. They conducted midnight ceremonies to steal the lives of innocent kobolds to bolster their own flagging souls. Meepo could not, would not stand for that under any circumstances.</p><p></p><p>Every civilized kobold knew that gnome hatchlings were to be stolen in the night and sacrificed to Kurtulmak. Gnomes, in their perversity, had it entirely backwards. Likewise, gnome souls existed only to feed kobold souls. By their very existence, gnomes polluted the world. Sick deviants and worse were the respected leaders of gnome society.</p><p></p><p>"Here, let me take a look at that. It's the least we can do after one of our group decided to shoot first, and ask questions later." Lorn said as he stepped forward to examine Colvin's wound.</p><p></p><p>After all of this, Burble seemed to remember he had a tongue again. "So you're Colvin, eh? Well Semmon sent you and you found us, though I wonder at the timing. Well you can talk with Lorn, Rowland, Bryant, or even Sal if he wants. Me I will keep an eye on you and your … companion. I have had too many troubles with newcomers and idiots who split out with money and goods. So I see you're an archer. What or who is your ... friend? As you heard from others, I am Burble."</p><p></p><p>Burble was right to be suspicious of the small one, but he was overlooking the danger Colvin presented. Just because he was foolish enough to name himself didn't mean that he wasn't a threat. Just look how dangerous Lorn was despite what must have been a crippling head injury in his childhood.</p><p></p><p>Rowland roused himself from staring into his bird's tail feathers or whatever it was he was doing. Seeing the newcomers apparently for the first time, he introduced himself, "Hi. I'm Rowland. Kid Sorcerer." Meepo couldn't see how humans let live someone who introduced himself like that. "Glad to meet you. Do either of you have any healing prowess? Our young friend here is sorely injured." Rowland indicated Jaryth.</p><p></p><p>After considering Colvin's injury, Rowland continued, "Um...not that I meant to dismiss your injury, sir. Just that the boy is near death."</p><p></p><p>"Sadly I do not. As for my companion?" Colvin looked questioningly at the short one next to him. It merely shook its head. Meepo desperately wanted to know what was under those dark robes.</p><p></p><p>Burble chimed in., "Well if they cannot, I will heal the brat tomorrow, after I get some healing back from the Rogue of All. Silly twit climbing up like that only made himself a target." Meepo sighed. The things Burble did to keep the peace with these fools and idiots he was saddled with. Of course they lacked the wit to appreciate them.</p><p></p><p>"Oh no! Not at all." Colvin replied. He then answered Lorn, "My thanks to you, good sir. Did I catch your name perchance?" His short companion stepped away to one side and tended the owl perched on its shoulder.</p><p></p><p>Colvin took the time to address Burble as Lorn tended his wound, "Well met, Sir Burble. I understand your..OWW! ...caution. You have my word though that Rillith and myself mean you...” He hesitated as he winced in pain. “…no ill will." Meepo made note of the short one's name.</p><p></p><p>"My name is Lorn Gallain, former paladin at your service." Yes, the name Meepo cursed every waking moment. Now that Embrill was gone, he didn't have much active opposition, but Lorn's raw stupidity could easily be the end of everyone.</p><p></p><p>Sal must have had enough of his precious talking, so he suggested something new. "My name is Sal Lodrun, and I'm glad to meet ya. If you're offering your help here, I for one will gladly accept it. We can use all the help we can get. But perhaps we could talk in a nice closed-door room and not in the hallway here. These hallways have nearly killed</p><p>Burble, myself and if we don't get to work, they might finish off Jaryth here. Perhaps you will join us in helping to get him to a room we've been hole'in up in?"</p><p></p><p>The hallways finishing off Jaryth… That was a pleasant thought. Meepo wished the floor would grow a mouth and devour the mad whelp where he lay. Sal suggested a makeshift stretcher to move Jaryth, and the others agreed. While they got to work, he pulled Burble aside. Meepo was there too, of course. He had no intention of helping get Jaryth out of the hallway.</p><p></p><p>"Burble, I know the kid is a pain, and you have a pretty good hatred of him, but we need him on his feet again. He may prove himself to be of a great help to us. Remember, he's a kid, he's going to make some mistakes."</p><p></p><p>Some mistakes? Only some mistakes? The whelp's whole life could have only been a mistake. Meepo doubted even humans laid eggs intending to produce children that, even by their lax standards, were clearly insane.</p><p></p><p>"I will agree with you Sal, that we should all get behind the locked door and rest. I am tired of the fighting at least for today. With Jaryth, I do not hate the pain, just am sick and tired of his mouth and insults. I had enough of them from Embrill and even Rhea. I said it before, I will heal him tomorrow, and so unless the other with Corwin has healing, it will have to wait. I will attend his wounds through the night, as well as others, and I might ask Lorn to help me with mine. Tomorrow I will have healing back. I only have the one minor and I will save that until I sleep in case we have combat again."</p><p></p><p>The thought of Lorn helping Burble didn't sit at all well with Meepo, but he couldn't help it. Even with his vast kobold experience he knew only to bandage bleeding wounds. The finer points of medicine were well beyond him. Lorn couldn't be much better, but Burble seemed to think so. That was an unsettling revelation, to say the least.</p><p></p><p>Colvin interjected, "That's COLVIN. Colvin. Mustn't have the wrong name make it's</p><p>way into the bard's tales now, eh?" He grinned like an idiot. Meepo noted that Colvin seemed to do that a lot. Burble just shrugged.</p><p></p><p>Gravely, Rowland reacted to the halfling's offer of healing for Jaryth. "We'd all appreciate it very much, Burble. Please help Jaryth." The humans would appreciate Burble? Meepo didn't believe it. They certainly hadn't before.</p><p></p><p>With little further yammering, Meepo and the humans filed back into the same room they'd rested within before and passed the day and night quietly. Meepo didn't much care for how quickly these strangers had been accepted, but he knew the humans wouldn't take his cautions seriously. They weren't bright enough to understand the objections in any case.</p><p></p><p>Morning found Lorn complaining of fever and stiff, painful joints. That was exactly what Sal had suffered before, according to Burble. Meepo knew it to be a sign of the rat sickness, carried by the foul beasts on their grime-caked teeth. Some kobolds had died from it. Perhaps Lorn would join them. Meepo would gladly suffer the loss of such an appealing target for foes in exchange for not attracting so many in the first place.</p><p></p><p>Burble made the rounds with his healing magic. Meepo wondered if his god minded that it was wasted on witless humans.</p><p></p><p>Jaryth had mended well, and he wasted no time polluting the chamber with his prattle once more. "Hmm… Do you know how to cure diseases? I saw a priest do it once...</p><p>But… then again the guy ended up dead anyways, so I'm not sure if he really did cure the man, or just pretended to. I wouldn't heal someone if a knife were pressed to my throat, probably try and save it for myself...."</p><p></p><p>Alarms went off in Meepo's mind. The whelp might still be mad, but he was showing signs of a dangerous level of intelligence again. Rillith had remained quiet and stayed off out of the way with her bird. Meepo didn't like it. She was too quiet and wary. She must be a threat. This day of rest had become more and more stressful for Meepo.</p><p></p><p>"Nope, not in me at this time. I am but a minor cog in the Rogue of All's gamble. All I can suggest is some good rest and myself watching over him. Or he can move on and try to just live with the effects. I know I came very close to getting sick yesterday, but I had the grace of my God to draw a new card in deck of life." Burble deigned to answer the whelp.</p><p></p><p>"Sorry Lorn, only thing that is going to help you is rest and sleep. I can't do more then I already have... Hope you can walk, if we are heading out. Seeing our oil, courtesy of the witch Rhea, is so damned low, if we are not going into combat we should head back to the surface and rest near the mounts. I am getting tired of this room, plus it's starting to stink with or waste and all. We only got enough food for about four days and oil for maybe two." Burble was right; the room did reek. Humans weren't sensible enough to sleep well away from where they left their waste. Meepo wondered if wallowing in it was one of their religious observances.</p><p></p><p>"Ack! Another sign of my shame. Heironeous has withdrawn his protection against ailments from me." Lorn moaned. Meepo decided he would at least enjoy Lorn's suffering while it lasted, death or no. "I think I will be alright for the time being."</p><p></p><p>"You should not be so hard on Rhea," Lorn continued weakly. "She was a woman and did not truly belong in such a dangerous occupation. You can't blame her for panicking." Meepo thought Lorn was letting his being in heat interfere with his thinking, what little of it he did. He couldn't imagine the stupid human having any other reason for such a foolish statement. Yusdrayl would have had his precious parts for that. Meepo dearly wished he were in a position to do the same. Things like Lorn shouldn't be able to spawn.</p><p></p><p>"Do you realize what you're saying?" Jaryth asked Lorn incredulously.</p><p></p><p>"Sorry warrior, I disagree with you. She stole from the group, bugged out when she could have left before we came down, and treated me like dung. So I will have to think of her as I see fit. You have your way and I have mine. You want to try to go rest above?" Burble asked almost amiably.</p><p></p><p>Sal was considering the situation and ignoring Lorn and Jaryth. "I don't think we should head back up yet. This has been the only place we've been able to sleep undisturbed by ourselves. Even with trip lines and posting watches we still will have to assume that we'll be getting some sort of company at some time. There's too much activity up there already.”</p><p></p><p>“I suggest a couple of other alternatives. For the lack of oil, let's try conserving what we have left. Since we've got people that can see in dim light or even no light, let's make use of that. We can have watches set up to watch the only door, and some sort of system light the lantern if and when we do see some sort of movement. It won't be easy for those in the dark, but it would save some oil. Another suggestion, instead of heading everybody back up to the top, let's send part of the group up, those that are healthy and able to travel. We could take a look and see if Rhea left those supplies someplace along the way, or if she even made it to the top at all. But if we do go, we'll have to do it with very little noise. That seems to be attracting those rats faster than Bard's to an Inn."</p><p></p><p>Sal's eyes wandered freely, ensuring that his rambling singled out no one person.</p><p></p><p>"If you don't mind the dumb barbarian making a few suggestions, how about Meepo, Burble, Jaryth and Lorn staying here. Meepo has the ability to see when it's dark so that the group could keep the use of the lantern oil to a minimum. The rest of us could head back up and see if we could find any traces of Rhea and those supplies. We could also check on the animials if we wanted to. If we travel quickly we should be able to make it there and back in less than a day."</p><p></p><p>"For a dumb barbarian, you make a lot of sense." Jaryth grinned that mad grin again. "But, it might be unwise to leave us without a strong and healthy warrior--no offense Lorn. Although, it does give us time to talk about some things." Meepo would be entirely happy to leave Jaryth with Lorn if the whelp was set on it. He could see it now. Lorn and Jaryth holed up together in their own filth with a neat trail of rations leading to the door left accidentally ajar.</p><p></p><p>Lorn fixed Jaryth with a stare. "Even ill I'm more than enough for the likes of you."</p><p></p><p>"I mean… You talk about the rule of good and law, and yet insist on oppressing women. Are ALL women supposed to be bare-assed and barefoot behind a stove, waiting for her man to come home? That's just not right. Oh sure, women may act nicer than men sometimes, but, I think that's just how they were raised. I've known some very cruel women. Trust me, if they want to, women can be just about the most cunning and cruel opponents you will ever face." Jaryth rambled on about how females were evil, yet deserving all manner of respect and fair treatment. Meepo wondered if he even realized that succoring those who you consider your enemies is suicide. Being a human, probably not.</p><p></p><p>"Cruel and cunning they may be, but that does not make them warriors. An honorable man protects his woman. Places such as this are ill fitting them...and children as well. Why don't you run on home? You have no business being here, and you only end up getting yourself killed. You almost died yesterday. I wouldn't count on being so fortunate a second time." Lorn answered the whelp. Meepo hoped he'd be dull enough to take the fool's advice.</p><p></p><p>"Oh... Wait... When did Rhea become your woman? You don't own women, or anyone!" Jaryth balled his hands into tight fists and let his breath go in a long gust.</p><p>"Wait... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't agree with you, but that doesn't mean I can be mean to you." He walked over to Lorn and held out his hand. "Truce? I really want to try to be friends with you guys… Or… At least companions. I know I'm a kid and I'm pain... But I can be useful. I want to be at least, if you'll let me." More demented mood swings.</p><p></p><p>"Why here? And why us instead of someone in a nice safe town?” Meepo wanted to kill Lorn. Now the whelp was sure to inflict his life story on all in earshot.</p><p></p><p>"Probably the same reason as me, I want to help people. This is a good way to start."</p><p></p><p>"This isn't exactly my idea of fun. I'd much rather be in the city than in running around caves of this isolated region." Of course Lorn would want to be around more humans like himself. Together they could manage the level of stupidity a lone human could only dream of.</p><p></p><p>"But, you're doing it. Why?" Why couldn't Jaryth just have killed himself when he tried? Meepo couldn't stand failure.</p><p></p><p>"Why not? I'm a budding sorcerer, but I still can't climb on walls. He's an orphan; he's obviously got some talent. Let him come along." Rowland shrugged and laughed.</p><p></p><p>Jaryth smiled his madman's grin. "Thankee."</p><p></p><p>"To redeem myself in the eyes of Heironeous." Lorn laughed. "Guess I'm not doing to good a job at it given my current situation."</p><p></p><p>"I'm confused.... how do you know if you're redeemed or not?" Meepo thought it was probably when the last thought left your mind, given what he knew of human theology.</p><p></p><p>"When a priest of Heironeous restores my powers." Lorn gave Jaryth a look that made it clear Lorn thought the boy stupid for asking. Meepo did as well, but certainly not for the same reasons as Lorn.</p><p></p><p>"So why won't he do it now? I mean… you're a great guy! You're nice, and you seem to be just the kind of person my…father…loathes. Which means, you're a paladin. That's pretty much the opposite of him. Nice, kind-hearted, valiant, just, all that other good stuff." Meepo thought that he'd probably respect Jaryth's father, human or no, for being the opposite of Lorn. He'd have to be sort of like Burble that way.</p><p></p><p>"It is a matter I prefer not to speak of, and I doubt one of your...inexperienced years...would fully be able to understand." Meepo stifled a chuckle at the thought that Lorn understood anything, let alone more so than another might.</p><p></p><p>"Hey, I may be a kid, but I'm not stupid. I mean my dad's a lich. And I had a succubus for a nanny…at least, until she decided that her hunger was greater than her fear of my parents. I don't know what happened to her after that...." A lich? A dragonblooded undead? Maybe Meepo could sell his wayward son's soul back to him. "So, there's really not that much that'll shock me, or bother me. I won't think any less of you for anything. I mean, what did you do? Fail to save the fair maiden? Or, did you maybe fail your quest? Shirk your duty because of war? What?"</p><p></p><p>"Well, then let's just say I was not discreet enough with whom I shared my bed." Meepo shuddered. Lorn was already breeding. Rillith suddenly glanced Lorn's way.</p><p></p><p>"Oh... That's all? Why would Hieroneous cast you out for that?" Meepo thought it was probably because even a human god trembled at the thought of someone like Lorn spawning more like himself.</p><p></p><p>"I am not at liberty to discuss it." Lorn said stiffly. Meepo wondered if he was embarrassed that he'd bred.</p><p></p><p>"Did you fall in love?" That was Rillith. Meepo noted that her soft, raspy voice was clearly female.</p><p></p><p>Lorn nodded. "Unfortunately, that wasn't enough." The thought of young Lorns in the world above was far more than enough for Meepo.</p><p></p><p>"Why? I don't understand why Hieroneous would be that mean as to remove you of your paladin status because you had sex with some woman…" He was a human god. He was supposed to have reasonable standards?</p><p></p><p>"It wasn't just SOME woman! It was...a woman unsuitable for one of my position." Meepo wondered why a dung sweeper would want to have sex with Lorn.</p><p></p><p>Rillith was taking more interest now, "A commoner? An outcast? A lady of the evening?"</p><p></p><p>"No, it was the otherway actually." Lorn pointedly ignored Jaryth's suggestion that the lady in question was a high priestess of Iuz.</p><p></p><p>"Humph, I don't think Hieroneous would do that… He's too nice. Pholtus definitely would… but not Hieroneous."</p><p></p><p>Jaryth started and pulled out a softly glowing gem. "Oh hush, you, it's true... what? Oh… alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that Pholtus was a crotchety and horribly rigid stick in the mud who wouldn't know a good time if it slapped him in the face. But, he would cast out one of his paladins for falling in love with someone not to his liking. That is true." He put the gem back into his jerkin. "What's so bad about falling in love? Love's a good thing. At least that's what I'm told... I haven't been in love yet.."</p><p></p><p>Jaryth talking to his glowing gem worried Meepo greatly. Did it hold some of the will-sapping essence of the dead Thurston? Was it even now slowly eroding the willpower of the group? How long before all were turned into god- twisted madmen?</p><p></p><p>The two kept on yammering at each other, but Meepo managed to tune them out.</p><p></p><p>"Well folks, I for one want to get out of here and I think we do indeed need another day of healing, seeing I am the only healer, plus Lorn is real sick. I can help get us to the well and we can then see if the witch took the mule and horse or not, and if not, well to see if they are alive regardless. We can save oil for a new search, as we can move on to a new entrance, unless we want to chance rats again. Meepo, will you come, or will you want to stay. I know you hate the sun, but for once, I need to see it, plus I cannot see in the dark like you and Sal can." Meepo hated it, but he knew that Burble's asking ensured he was coming.</p><p></p><p>'”If you want to stay, I will come back tomorrow to look for you. " Burble moved to the door, but didn't leave just yet.</p><p></p><p>Meepo reluctantly gathered his few possessions. "Meepo go with Burble."</p><p></p><p>"Glad to have you then my friend," Burble said warmly. Meepo found himself taking absurd pride in that and once more wondered what the humans had infected him with. "So the rest of you staying or heading out?"</p><p></p><p>"Well, clearly you all know the group dynamic much better than I. I'm willing to go wherever my skills are best needed. Although I must admit that it seems a bit..." He hesitated "...'unheroic?' to go rushing back up into the light with every minor setback? Please don't take my words out of hand. I mean no disrespect." Colvin opined.</p><p></p><p>Colvin's gaze wandered to where Lorn lay prostrate. "But then there IS our sickened paladin to worry about. Hrmmmm…"</p><p></p><p>"I can't see any reason to check on the horse and mule. I'm sure they'll be OK." Rowland's certainty confirmed to Meepo that the horse and mule could only be dead.</p><p></p><p>"Not an unreasonable suggestion, Kid Sorceror. Were it not for Sir Lorn's illness, I'd vote to press on. But being as it's not my decision to make..." Colvin offered. Meepo once again considered how stupid Rowland's chosen appellation sounded.</p><p></p><p>Tired of the arguing and detailing of Lorn's personal life, Burble and Meepo crept out of the room while none were looking. Through the corridor, courtyard, and up the stairs they went. Meepo endured the blazing of the sun for only moments before he discovered, along with Burble, what had become of Rhea.</p><p></p><p>Lashed upside down to one of the stone pillars by the ravine was Rhea. Her arms were bound wickedly back so tightly was clear her shoulders were broken. Blood had streamed down the pillar and dried in the dirt about. Her torso had been split open and her ribcage torn asunder to leave her entrails, fly-ridden ropes and balls of black, streaming down over her face. Her mouth had been twisted into a weird rictus grin so that she smiled out any climbing up the rope from below, including Burble and Meepo. Deep furrows had been cut in both her cheeks and her eyes were gouged out and set inside her open, grinning mouth.</p><p></p><p>Rhea's gear was scattered wildly about, all torn, broken, and defiled. Only her gold remained, taken from wherever she kept it and packed into her torso amid her fallen-out innards. Meepo nearly fell over when his eyes fell upon the dead woman. He wanted to vomit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Samnell, post: 1231, member: 130"] [b]XIV-Missing, and Found[/b] Wherein our hero finds a missing companion, and hears of past misadventures. Lord Semmon, some sun-loving god-kissing human from the aboveground had sent Burble and the humans here. This same Lord Semmon had sent these two newcomers. That was typical. Only a human would send two groups of humans after the same goal and expect anything short of utter ruin. One gathering of daylight-fetishists was bad enough. Two was a kobold's nightmare. Meepo was glad he hadn't conceived of it in his dreams. He needed what sleep he could get; knowing that for some time in the night Lorn would be guarding him. The tall one was another Lorn. Meepo was positive. He wasn't so heavily armored, but he had Burble's arrow sticking out of his shoulder and he was smiling about it. The two suicidal warriors would surely find companionship in their shared idiocy. Granted, most all humans Meepo had met shared some of Lorn's disregard for his own life, but few seemed to take such perverse glee in throwing their lives away then these two. Their gods must love them. Sal spoke up, not content with seeing how well talking had done last time he tried it. "Burble, perhaps I could meet them part way and we could talk without you putting any more arrows in their hides? Lorn, would you care to join me? And Meepo, how about lowering that crossbow so I don't end up with another projectile sticking out of my shoulder." That offended Meepo. He hadn't shot Sal in the shoulder. That was Bryant. If Sal wanted to kill anyone over it, he should kill the quiet human. No, that was a bad idea. Sal should kill one of the blathering humans first to make Meepo's days that much quieter. But a kobold could only dream. "Go for it Sal. Just watch your rear." Burble said. Meepo sighed. He might as well play along. He lowered his crossbow and cast his eyes towards the floor in what he imagined was a look of contrition. "Meepo not shoot Sal. Bryant shoot Sal. Meepo shoot Embrill." He finished with a self-satisfied nod and held his snout high. At least he had set the record straight. Then Meepo realized his error. This must be corrected. "No, Meepo shoot Worthless Druid." He spit on the floor and raised his snout even higher. "Worthless Druid with wolf mate." The thought of it restored some of that contentment within him. "You're right my friend and I am just sorry that I ever broke down to help that ******* or you could not have killed him with your shot. Hope that the damned rats can track him down and kill him for all to see." That was a nice thought on Burble's part. It warmed Meepo's heart. " I would join you in the spit Meepo, but not that fricker is not even worth spit." Meepo nodded, "Meepo think rats not like Worthless Druid. Worthless Druid worth something if makes nice rat stomachs. Meepo say Worthless Druid worthless all the time." Having espoused his personal philosophy on the matter, Meepo was momentarily content. Sal worked his way through the group, "I'm not going to apologize for my friends actions there, we have had some... problems on this rescue mission, but I think I may be able to help all of us out if you will allow me to come over and talk with you two." Problems? They had problems? Meepo hadn't guessed. Could those problems be mad, suicidal, humans? No, humans were only like that in the stories. Never mind that those stories are based entirely on reality. Sal leaned towards Meepo and Burble as he passed the friends, "If things go south, I'm going to leap to the left side of the corridor, do me a favor and aim to the right slightly..." He continued speaking up and addressing the newcomers again. "Ha, I see you have a fine lantern there. Just out of curiosity do you happen to have any extra oil in your packs? We suddenly find ourselves with less than we'd like to have." Maybe this could go well after all. Sal wasn't quite so stupid as Lorn or Rowland. He couldn't be or Burble wouldn't call him a friend. Burble clearly had impeccable taste in friends. How else would he have named Meepo a friend? The tall one had relaxed a bit. "Certainly! I'm sure it'll be to all of our advantages to parley for a bit. And as for this?" he indicated his wound "It's nothing that some ointment and a nice clean bandage won't help." He winced as he mentioned it. Meepo hoped it hurt. He deserved it for sneaking up on the group like that. Besides, he was a human. It's not like accidentally maiming a human would be something to feel bad about. Colvin leaned suddenly to one side and Meepo hoped he would fall. The tall archer steadied himself, though. "Well, I'm not too sure about the oil. It's Rillith's lantern and I suppose she would know better than I how much oil she has. I only have a couple of torches myself. But should you need them..." Rillith. That was the short one's name. It must be. Now what was she under those robes? A halfling? A kobold? Could she be a gnome? Meepo hated gnomes. All sane folk did. Everyone knew what murderous, cutthroats gnomes were. They snuck into kobold homes at night and stole away hatchlings for their sick gods to devour. They conducted midnight ceremonies to steal the lives of innocent kobolds to bolster their own flagging souls. Meepo could not, would not stand for that under any circumstances. Every civilized kobold knew that gnome hatchlings were to be stolen in the night and sacrificed to Kurtulmak. Gnomes, in their perversity, had it entirely backwards. Likewise, gnome souls existed only to feed kobold souls. By their very existence, gnomes polluted the world. Sick deviants and worse were the respected leaders of gnome society. "Here, let me take a look at that. It's the least we can do after one of our group decided to shoot first, and ask questions later." Lorn said as he stepped forward to examine Colvin's wound. After all of this, Burble seemed to remember he had a tongue again. "So you're Colvin, eh? Well Semmon sent you and you found us, though I wonder at the timing. Well you can talk with Lorn, Rowland, Bryant, or even Sal if he wants. Me I will keep an eye on you and your … companion. I have had too many troubles with newcomers and idiots who split out with money and goods. So I see you're an archer. What or who is your ... friend? As you heard from others, I am Burble." Burble was right to be suspicious of the small one, but he was overlooking the danger Colvin presented. Just because he was foolish enough to name himself didn't mean that he wasn't a threat. Just look how dangerous Lorn was despite what must have been a crippling head injury in his childhood. Rowland roused himself from staring into his bird's tail feathers or whatever it was he was doing. Seeing the newcomers apparently for the first time, he introduced himself, "Hi. I'm Rowland. Kid Sorcerer." Meepo couldn't see how humans let live someone who introduced himself like that. "Glad to meet you. Do either of you have any healing prowess? Our young friend here is sorely injured." Rowland indicated Jaryth. After considering Colvin's injury, Rowland continued, "Um...not that I meant to dismiss your injury, sir. Just that the boy is near death." "Sadly I do not. As for my companion?" Colvin looked questioningly at the short one next to him. It merely shook its head. Meepo desperately wanted to know what was under those dark robes. Burble chimed in., "Well if they cannot, I will heal the brat tomorrow, after I get some healing back from the Rogue of All. Silly twit climbing up like that only made himself a target." Meepo sighed. The things Burble did to keep the peace with these fools and idiots he was saddled with. Of course they lacked the wit to appreciate them. "Oh no! Not at all." Colvin replied. He then answered Lorn, "My thanks to you, good sir. Did I catch your name perchance?" His short companion stepped away to one side and tended the owl perched on its shoulder. Colvin took the time to address Burble as Lorn tended his wound, "Well met, Sir Burble. I understand your..OWW! ...caution. You have my word though that Rillith and myself mean you...” He hesitated as he winced in pain. “…no ill will." Meepo made note of the short one's name. "My name is Lorn Gallain, former paladin at your service." Yes, the name Meepo cursed every waking moment. Now that Embrill was gone, he didn't have much active opposition, but Lorn's raw stupidity could easily be the end of everyone. Sal must have had enough of his precious talking, so he suggested something new. "My name is Sal Lodrun, and I'm glad to meet ya. If you're offering your help here, I for one will gladly accept it. We can use all the help we can get. But perhaps we could talk in a nice closed-door room and not in the hallway here. These hallways have nearly killed Burble, myself and if we don't get to work, they might finish off Jaryth here. Perhaps you will join us in helping to get him to a room we've been hole'in up in?" The hallways finishing off Jaryth… That was a pleasant thought. Meepo wished the floor would grow a mouth and devour the mad whelp where he lay. Sal suggested a makeshift stretcher to move Jaryth, and the others agreed. While they got to work, he pulled Burble aside. Meepo was there too, of course. He had no intention of helping get Jaryth out of the hallway. "Burble, I know the kid is a pain, and you have a pretty good hatred of him, but we need him on his feet again. He may prove himself to be of a great help to us. Remember, he's a kid, he's going to make some mistakes." Some mistakes? Only some mistakes? The whelp's whole life could have only been a mistake. Meepo doubted even humans laid eggs intending to produce children that, even by their lax standards, were clearly insane. "I will agree with you Sal, that we should all get behind the locked door and rest. I am tired of the fighting at least for today. With Jaryth, I do not hate the pain, just am sick and tired of his mouth and insults. I had enough of them from Embrill and even Rhea. I said it before, I will heal him tomorrow, and so unless the other with Corwin has healing, it will have to wait. I will attend his wounds through the night, as well as others, and I might ask Lorn to help me with mine. Tomorrow I will have healing back. I only have the one minor and I will save that until I sleep in case we have combat again." The thought of Lorn helping Burble didn't sit at all well with Meepo, but he couldn't help it. Even with his vast kobold experience he knew only to bandage bleeding wounds. The finer points of medicine were well beyond him. Lorn couldn't be much better, but Burble seemed to think so. That was an unsettling revelation, to say the least. Colvin interjected, "That's COLVIN. Colvin. Mustn't have the wrong name make it's way into the bard's tales now, eh?" He grinned like an idiot. Meepo noted that Colvin seemed to do that a lot. Burble just shrugged. Gravely, Rowland reacted to the halfling's offer of healing for Jaryth. "We'd all appreciate it very much, Burble. Please help Jaryth." The humans would appreciate Burble? Meepo didn't believe it. They certainly hadn't before. With little further yammering, Meepo and the humans filed back into the same room they'd rested within before and passed the day and night quietly. Meepo didn't much care for how quickly these strangers had been accepted, but he knew the humans wouldn't take his cautions seriously. They weren't bright enough to understand the objections in any case. Morning found Lorn complaining of fever and stiff, painful joints. That was exactly what Sal had suffered before, according to Burble. Meepo knew it to be a sign of the rat sickness, carried by the foul beasts on their grime-caked teeth. Some kobolds had died from it. Perhaps Lorn would join them. Meepo would gladly suffer the loss of such an appealing target for foes in exchange for not attracting so many in the first place. Burble made the rounds with his healing magic. Meepo wondered if his god minded that it was wasted on witless humans. Jaryth had mended well, and he wasted no time polluting the chamber with his prattle once more. "Hmm… Do you know how to cure diseases? I saw a priest do it once... But… then again the guy ended up dead anyways, so I'm not sure if he really did cure the man, or just pretended to. I wouldn't heal someone if a knife were pressed to my throat, probably try and save it for myself...." Alarms went off in Meepo's mind. The whelp might still be mad, but he was showing signs of a dangerous level of intelligence again. Rillith had remained quiet and stayed off out of the way with her bird. Meepo didn't like it. She was too quiet and wary. She must be a threat. This day of rest had become more and more stressful for Meepo. "Nope, not in me at this time. I am but a minor cog in the Rogue of All's gamble. All I can suggest is some good rest and myself watching over him. Or he can move on and try to just live with the effects. I know I came very close to getting sick yesterday, but I had the grace of my God to draw a new card in deck of life." Burble deigned to answer the whelp. "Sorry Lorn, only thing that is going to help you is rest and sleep. I can't do more then I already have... Hope you can walk, if we are heading out. Seeing our oil, courtesy of the witch Rhea, is so damned low, if we are not going into combat we should head back to the surface and rest near the mounts. I am getting tired of this room, plus it's starting to stink with or waste and all. We only got enough food for about four days and oil for maybe two." Burble was right; the room did reek. Humans weren't sensible enough to sleep well away from where they left their waste. Meepo wondered if wallowing in it was one of their religious observances. "Ack! Another sign of my shame. Heironeous has withdrawn his protection against ailments from me." Lorn moaned. Meepo decided he would at least enjoy Lorn's suffering while it lasted, death or no. "I think I will be alright for the time being." "You should not be so hard on Rhea," Lorn continued weakly. "She was a woman and did not truly belong in such a dangerous occupation. You can't blame her for panicking." Meepo thought Lorn was letting his being in heat interfere with his thinking, what little of it he did. He couldn't imagine the stupid human having any other reason for such a foolish statement. Yusdrayl would have had his precious parts for that. Meepo dearly wished he were in a position to do the same. Things like Lorn shouldn't be able to spawn. "Do you realize what you're saying?" Jaryth asked Lorn incredulously. "Sorry warrior, I disagree with you. She stole from the group, bugged out when she could have left before we came down, and treated me like dung. So I will have to think of her as I see fit. You have your way and I have mine. You want to try to go rest above?" Burble asked almost amiably. Sal was considering the situation and ignoring Lorn and Jaryth. "I don't think we should head back up yet. This has been the only place we've been able to sleep undisturbed by ourselves. Even with trip lines and posting watches we still will have to assume that we'll be getting some sort of company at some time. There's too much activity up there already.” “I suggest a couple of other alternatives. For the lack of oil, let's try conserving what we have left. Since we've got people that can see in dim light or even no light, let's make use of that. We can have watches set up to watch the only door, and some sort of system light the lantern if and when we do see some sort of movement. It won't be easy for those in the dark, but it would save some oil. Another suggestion, instead of heading everybody back up to the top, let's send part of the group up, those that are healthy and able to travel. We could take a look and see if Rhea left those supplies someplace along the way, or if she even made it to the top at all. But if we do go, we'll have to do it with very little noise. That seems to be attracting those rats faster than Bard's to an Inn." Sal's eyes wandered freely, ensuring that his rambling singled out no one person. "If you don't mind the dumb barbarian making a few suggestions, how about Meepo, Burble, Jaryth and Lorn staying here. Meepo has the ability to see when it's dark so that the group could keep the use of the lantern oil to a minimum. The rest of us could head back up and see if we could find any traces of Rhea and those supplies. We could also check on the animials if we wanted to. If we travel quickly we should be able to make it there and back in less than a day." "For a dumb barbarian, you make a lot of sense." Jaryth grinned that mad grin again. "But, it might be unwise to leave us without a strong and healthy warrior--no offense Lorn. Although, it does give us time to talk about some things." Meepo would be entirely happy to leave Jaryth with Lorn if the whelp was set on it. He could see it now. Lorn and Jaryth holed up together in their own filth with a neat trail of rations leading to the door left accidentally ajar. Lorn fixed Jaryth with a stare. "Even ill I'm more than enough for the likes of you." "I mean… You talk about the rule of good and law, and yet insist on oppressing women. Are ALL women supposed to be bare-assed and barefoot behind a stove, waiting for her man to come home? That's just not right. Oh sure, women may act nicer than men sometimes, but, I think that's just how they were raised. I've known some very cruel women. Trust me, if they want to, women can be just about the most cunning and cruel opponents you will ever face." Jaryth rambled on about how females were evil, yet deserving all manner of respect and fair treatment. Meepo wondered if he even realized that succoring those who you consider your enemies is suicide. Being a human, probably not. "Cruel and cunning they may be, but that does not make them warriors. An honorable man protects his woman. Places such as this are ill fitting them...and children as well. Why don't you run on home? You have no business being here, and you only end up getting yourself killed. You almost died yesterday. I wouldn't count on being so fortunate a second time." Lorn answered the whelp. Meepo hoped he'd be dull enough to take the fool's advice. "Oh... Wait... When did Rhea become your woman? You don't own women, or anyone!" Jaryth balled his hands into tight fists and let his breath go in a long gust. "Wait... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't agree with you, but that doesn't mean I can be mean to you." He walked over to Lorn and held out his hand. "Truce? I really want to try to be friends with you guys… Or… At least companions. I know I'm a kid and I'm pain... But I can be useful. I want to be at least, if you'll let me." More demented mood swings. "Why here? And why us instead of someone in a nice safe town?” Meepo wanted to kill Lorn. Now the whelp was sure to inflict his life story on all in earshot. "Probably the same reason as me, I want to help people. This is a good way to start." "This isn't exactly my idea of fun. I'd much rather be in the city than in running around caves of this isolated region." Of course Lorn would want to be around more humans like himself. Together they could manage the level of stupidity a lone human could only dream of. "But, you're doing it. Why?" Why couldn't Jaryth just have killed himself when he tried? Meepo couldn't stand failure. "Why not? I'm a budding sorcerer, but I still can't climb on walls. He's an orphan; he's obviously got some talent. Let him come along." Rowland shrugged and laughed. Jaryth smiled his madman's grin. "Thankee." "To redeem myself in the eyes of Heironeous." Lorn laughed. "Guess I'm not doing to good a job at it given my current situation." "I'm confused.... how do you know if you're redeemed or not?" Meepo thought it was probably when the last thought left your mind, given what he knew of human theology. "When a priest of Heironeous restores my powers." Lorn gave Jaryth a look that made it clear Lorn thought the boy stupid for asking. Meepo did as well, but certainly not for the same reasons as Lorn. "So why won't he do it now? I mean… you're a great guy! You're nice, and you seem to be just the kind of person my…father…loathes. Which means, you're a paladin. That's pretty much the opposite of him. Nice, kind-hearted, valiant, just, all that other good stuff." Meepo thought that he'd probably respect Jaryth's father, human or no, for being the opposite of Lorn. He'd have to be sort of like Burble that way. "It is a matter I prefer not to speak of, and I doubt one of your...inexperienced years...would fully be able to understand." Meepo stifled a chuckle at the thought that Lorn understood anything, let alone more so than another might. "Hey, I may be a kid, but I'm not stupid. I mean my dad's a lich. And I had a succubus for a nanny…at least, until she decided that her hunger was greater than her fear of my parents. I don't know what happened to her after that...." A lich? A dragonblooded undead? Maybe Meepo could sell his wayward son's soul back to him. "So, there's really not that much that'll shock me, or bother me. I won't think any less of you for anything. I mean, what did you do? Fail to save the fair maiden? Or, did you maybe fail your quest? Shirk your duty because of war? What?" "Well, then let's just say I was not discreet enough with whom I shared my bed." Meepo shuddered. Lorn was already breeding. Rillith suddenly glanced Lorn's way. "Oh... That's all? Why would Hieroneous cast you out for that?" Meepo thought it was probably because even a human god trembled at the thought of someone like Lorn spawning more like himself. "I am not at liberty to discuss it." Lorn said stiffly. Meepo wondered if he was embarrassed that he'd bred. "Did you fall in love?" That was Rillith. Meepo noted that her soft, raspy voice was clearly female. Lorn nodded. "Unfortunately, that wasn't enough." The thought of young Lorns in the world above was far more than enough for Meepo. "Why? I don't understand why Hieroneous would be that mean as to remove you of your paladin status because you had sex with some woman…" He was a human god. He was supposed to have reasonable standards? "It wasn't just SOME woman! It was...a woman unsuitable for one of my position." Meepo wondered why a dung sweeper would want to have sex with Lorn. Rillith was taking more interest now, "A commoner? An outcast? A lady of the evening?" "No, it was the otherway actually." Lorn pointedly ignored Jaryth's suggestion that the lady in question was a high priestess of Iuz. "Humph, I don't think Hieroneous would do that… He's too nice. Pholtus definitely would… but not Hieroneous." Jaryth started and pulled out a softly glowing gem. "Oh hush, you, it's true... what? Oh… alright, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that Pholtus was a crotchety and horribly rigid stick in the mud who wouldn't know a good time if it slapped him in the face. But, he would cast out one of his paladins for falling in love with someone not to his liking. That is true." He put the gem back into his jerkin. "What's so bad about falling in love? Love's a good thing. At least that's what I'm told... I haven't been in love yet.." Jaryth talking to his glowing gem worried Meepo greatly. Did it hold some of the will-sapping essence of the dead Thurston? Was it even now slowly eroding the willpower of the group? How long before all were turned into god- twisted madmen? The two kept on yammering at each other, but Meepo managed to tune them out. "Well folks, I for one want to get out of here and I think we do indeed need another day of healing, seeing I am the only healer, plus Lorn is real sick. I can help get us to the well and we can then see if the witch took the mule and horse or not, and if not, well to see if they are alive regardless. We can save oil for a new search, as we can move on to a new entrance, unless we want to chance rats again. Meepo, will you come, or will you want to stay. I know you hate the sun, but for once, I need to see it, plus I cannot see in the dark like you and Sal can." Meepo hated it, but he knew that Burble's asking ensured he was coming. '”If you want to stay, I will come back tomorrow to look for you. " Burble moved to the door, but didn't leave just yet. Meepo reluctantly gathered his few possessions. "Meepo go with Burble." "Glad to have you then my friend," Burble said warmly. Meepo found himself taking absurd pride in that and once more wondered what the humans had infected him with. "So the rest of you staying or heading out?" "Well, clearly you all know the group dynamic much better than I. I'm willing to go wherever my skills are best needed. Although I must admit that it seems a bit..." He hesitated "...'unheroic?' to go rushing back up into the light with every minor setback? Please don't take my words out of hand. I mean no disrespect." Colvin opined. Colvin's gaze wandered to where Lorn lay prostrate. "But then there IS our sickened paladin to worry about. Hrmmmm…" "I can't see any reason to check on the horse and mule. I'm sure they'll be OK." Rowland's certainty confirmed to Meepo that the horse and mule could only be dead. "Not an unreasonable suggestion, Kid Sorceror. Were it not for Sir Lorn's illness, I'd vote to press on. But being as it's not my decision to make..." Colvin offered. Meepo once again considered how stupid Rowland's chosen appellation sounded. Tired of the arguing and detailing of Lorn's personal life, Burble and Meepo crept out of the room while none were looking. Through the corridor, courtyard, and up the stairs they went. Meepo endured the blazing of the sun for only moments before he discovered, along with Burble, what had become of Rhea. Lashed upside down to one of the stone pillars by the ravine was Rhea. Her arms were bound wickedly back so tightly was clear her shoulders were broken. Blood had streamed down the pillar and dried in the dirt about. Her torso had been split open and her ribcage torn asunder to leave her entrails, fly-ridden ropes and balls of black, streaming down over her face. Her mouth had been twisted into a weird rictus grin so that she smiled out any climbing up the rope from below, including Burble and Meepo. Deep furrows had been cut in both her cheeks and her eyes were gouged out and set inside her open, grinning mouth. Rhea's gear was scattered wildly about, all torn, broken, and defiled. Only her gold remained, taken from wherever she kept it and packed into her torso amid her fallen-out innards. Meepo nearly fell over when his eyes fell upon the dead woman. He wanted to vomit. [/QUOTE]
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Meepo's Story Hour [NEWS! 6-19-02]
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