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<blockquote data-quote="Samnell" data-source="post: 1237" data-attributes="member: 130"><p><strong>XVI-The Cold Door</strong></p><p></p><p>Wherein our hero revisits his past adventures.</p><p></p><p>With the gold as divided as the humans could stomach, the rest of the day passed uneventfully. There was much distrustful staring and Meepo ran through six or seven different plots in his mind, most involving creative and more importantly slow and painful ways for Jaryth and Lorn to die. Aside from nearly dying thanks to something the humans had done, it was a normal day for Meepo.</p><p></p><p>The humans were short on oil for their lanterns now that Rhea had died with most of their stores, so they'd decided to save what they could. That meant that they only had light when they absolutely must have it. Meepo didn't remember or care who thought up the rationing. He certainly didn't need some miniature sun burning in his face to see things. Watching the humans blundering about in the dark was an added bonus for him. Three times Lorn almost sat on Rillith.</p><p></p><p>When morning came again, Lorn's incessant prattle started up. "I say we have rested long enough. The mission has taken far longer than it should have. Two of our numbers have been brutalized by the fiends behind this, and we know not of Embrill's fate. I for one shall not let their death's go unadvenged. Let's find the fiends behind all this and complete our mission."</p><p></p><p>Meepo was quite content with not knowing Embrill's fate, unless it turned out to be slow and painful. Perhaps if Lorn, Jaryth, and Embrill could all share a slow and painful death Meepo might feel obliged to take notice. That would be wonderfully entertaining, he was sure. But alas, the kobold knew from experience that the humans would never be so accommodating to the needs of a mere kobold.</p><p></p><p>"Which of the fiends you talking about? Goblins? Belak? The kobolds? The rats? Or even the ones, whoever they were, that killed Rhea?" Burble asked. Meepo had almost forgotten that Yusdrayl told the humans about the Outcast who lived below.</p><p></p><p>Thinking back to past adventures, Meepo wondered what the goblins must have thought when they found their guardchamber's floor slick with blood and corpses of their fellows. Some of Rowland's precious dragonblood had fallen there too, but the fool was sure to produce more so long as he was kept alive.</p><p></p><p>"I doubt the kobolds are behind our troubles, since we are aiding them. The rats are not intelligent enough to be behind everything. The goblins are my best guess at the moment, but I fear what we have seen hints at a far greater power behind all this." Lorn doubted the kobolds were behind any of the group's troubles because the group was aiding them. That was the most hilarious thing Meepo had heard in weeks. It took all his resolve to keep from bursting into laughter. If Lorn knew half of what went through a proper kobold's mind he wouldn't rest until they were all slain.</p><p></p><p>Burble nodded. "And that is probably this Belak that Yusdrayl told us about. Look, shall we go off then, to either the other door in the entry room or the cold door? I tire of waiting here in this room.” So did Meepo. The room reeked of the humans' leavings.</p><p></p><p>After some discussion, but surprisingly less than normal, the humans agreed to first search beyond a door they hadn't yet opened at the base of a ruined tower. Meepo knew what they would find, but he hoped that by some twist of fate the impregnable dragon-carved door that he and a few other kobolds had discovered back when he was still keeper of dragons would come to life and eat Lorn. Maybe Jaryth too. A whelp that size would make a suitable dessert.</p><p></p><p>Reaching the wooden door that the humans had not yet ventured beyond, Jaryth finally cursed Meepo's ears with another dose of his prattle. "Should I try to pick that, or do you want to, Burble?" The whelp was surprisingly meek at the moment. He must be planning something.</p><p></p><p>Burble set at the door himself. "I got it lad. Just sit tight and hold your britches." The halfling poked and prodded for nearly half an hour before finally deeming the door safe to pass. Meepo could have told him it was safe right off, but the stench of human waste had soured his mood for the day and he was happy to watch Jaryth and Lorn wait impatiently.</p><p></p><p>Once he was done, Burble slowly opened the door and peered inside. Everything was as Meepo remembered it. The long, over-wide hallway still had the same crumbling walls and the far end was still fully demolished and looked out into the ravine beyond. Meepo wondered how often rats wandered by.</p><p></p><p>The west wall was, as before, in better shape and sported a stone door with a rearing dragon carved on it in relief. Meepo rather liked the carving and could imagine it darting out of the door to bite Lorn's head off quite easily. Of course, the loss of a head probably wouldn't inconvenience Lorn any more than losing the sun would Meepo.</p><p></p><p>Meepo was surprised to notice a keyhole in the dragon's open mouth he hadn't spotted before. He must have missed it when Ditno tripped on a rock and Meepo and Jfik went and poked him with their spears. A small smile split the kobold's snout. That was a fun time. Ditno bled for hours.</p><p></p><p>Rillith regarded the door and spoke her mind, "Hmmm....." Meepo was glad she added that. Such priceless insight.</p><p></p><p>Burble stalked down the hallway, stepping carefully across the floor and checking every step for hidden wires, trick stones, and whatever else he looked for when he pulled out his tools and started puttering around. One of these days Meepo would have to suggest that they just send Lorn into any unexplored area. If there were any traps, he was sure to find them. He found nothing on the floor and no dangers around the dragon-carved door either. Meepo was relieved. His friend was doing what was properly the job of a large, dumb human who no one would miss if he died. Alternatively, Meepo mused while he looked at Jaryth, a small, mad human who no one would miss if he died was an option.</p><p></p><p>Colvin, who had been tensed in an absurd post with his bow half-drawn suddenly relaxed, "WHEW!" he said as he wiped sweat from his brow. Meepo added him to the list of potential trap bait.</p><p></p><p>Burble set at the keyhole in the stone door, but he couldn't budge it. Meepo and his kobolds hadn't gotten it to open either. For once, though, the humans had stood in one place out in the open for near to an hour and nothing had attacked them yet. It was a pleasant change from their usual habit of attracting rats like a corpse attracted flies. Thinking of corpses Meepo remembered Rhea and his innards lurched a bit. He quickly soothed himself, though. Thoughts of roasting wolf setting his mouth to watering.</p><p></p><p>"Damn lock is too much for my abilities, We will indeed need the key that Yusdrayl had on her alter. Shall we head to the cold door all?" Yusdrayl's key. Meepo hadn't considered it before. Now he wished he'd thought of it when he still had Calcryx. Whatever this door was protecting must be important if it was secured so well Burble couldn't open it. It would have been a valuable weapon against the chieftain. It could still be a valuable weapon, but he'd have to keep it from the humans to ensure its proper use. There was slim chance of that.</p><p></p><p>"Should I try? I have some skill at this. Nothing like Burble, I'm not a full thief but I learned some skills." Jaryth asked in his typical, simpering tone. Of course Jaryth was nothing like Burble. Burble was a loyal, upstanding halfling that Meepo was proud to call friend. He was the sort that would sneak away from camp in the dark of the night to murder human holy men in their sleep and knock children senseless to keep them from waking and catching him in the act. Jaryth was the type who seized the legs of god-kissers and whined for their pleasure.</p><p></p><p>Lorn snorted, "The master thief shows his prowess once again."</p><p></p><p>Colvin groaned, "Oh gods, not again." Rillith winced. Meepo had his first nearly overwhelming urge to kill Lorn of the day. Could he have no peace? First goblins, then Embrill, now Lorn. It was getting so a kobold couldn't plot the deaths of those around him for his own selfish gain anymore.</p><p></p><p>"Think you can do better kiddo, go for it." Burble snorted back at Lorn as he turned away from the door. He must have meant to start for that cold door. Meepo had a bad feeling about that door. It had nearly killed Burble once and the halfling was willing to give it another chance. It looked to Meepo like a job more suited to Lorn or Jaryth than his scarred friend.</p><p></p><p>Rowland sighed and turned to Lorn. He spoke in a voice he clearly thought no one else could hear, "Please don't make trouble we don't need." Meepo wondered if Rowland would be asking fish not to swim and gnomes not to murder kobolds in their sleep next. Rillith was looking curiously at Lorn and Meepo wondered again what she was hiding under that hood.</p><p></p><p>"Ok, that's it! Lorn, when we get out of this, I'm going to introduce you to dramdath. It's a very nice plant. Makes all sorts of problems go away. I like to call it the "happy-feel-good plant. But, then again, I'm 10, so I can give things stupid names like that." Jaryth at first barked and then his tone drifted to a gratingly whimsical and thoughtless rambling. Meepo had noticed that despite Jaryth's declarations, stupidity was not reserved for children when it came to humans.</p><p></p><p>Then Jaryth shifted his attention again, back to the door. "Well, lemme take a looksee, maybe I can get it. Who knows? Chaos can work wonders. Can I use your tools? I kinda don't have mine. They're back at the guild..." Jaryth asked Burble.</p><p></p><p>"If you break them, I warn you, I will break your hands." Meepo looked forward to Jaryth breaking Burble's tools. Maybe he could help with the hand breaking. It had been too long since he was able to torture someone who deserved it as much as Jaryth.</p><p></p><p>"You have more than enough to replace them. And if you don't want to replace them with your lawful earnings, I'll buy ya a new set soon as I can. Ok?" Meepo wondered if human fingerbones could be worked into suitable thieving tools. It was a possibility worth exploring. The Whelp wanted to help, after all.</p><p></p><p>"No I do not think so. Kid I will just say this one more time. Drop the accusations. As for the tools, they were a gift of my Mother before she was killed. Hurt them at your peril." Burble hissed.</p><p></p><p>"On second thought. No, just give them back. I will be the only one that will use them I believe." Burble reconsidered a moment later. Meepo was disappointed that he wouldn't get to help break Jaryth's hands.</p><p></p><p>Jaryth had already turned to the door and ignored Burble. "No I said. I want them back and I do not want to debate the point. Hand them over Jaryth. Now." Maybe breaking hands wasn't out of the question after all.</p><p></p><p>"What accusations? I was joking. Honest! I'm sorry, I was trying to make a joke and lighten the mood a little. Sorry." He still wasn't really paying attention.</p><p></p><p>"Fine. Here you go." Jaryth handed the tools back roughly and stalked away. Meepo sighed. He'd been looking forward to feeling tiny bones snapping in his hands to the music of Jaryth's pained cries.</p><p></p><p>"Lets head out." Burble said, dismissing Jaryth. The group fell sullenly in behind the halfling and headed towards the cold door. Burble swept the floors and walls for traps as he went, poking and peering about as usual.</p><p></p><p>Within minutes, the group reached a familiar room. Meepo knew it best from his time waiting for death after Calcryx was taken. His rags still laid on the floor where he'd left them and he noticed that the jade dragon statuettes were gone from the altar. Had it been only five days since Worthless Druid prodded him out of those same rags?</p><p></p><p>Other things had changed as well. There were small pools of dried blood on the floor, along with shattered crossbow bolts and broken javelins. Goblins must have attacked again. Meepo drew his sword and hissed, "Goblins. Goblins do this."</p><p></p><p>"Oh my..." Colvin gasped on seeing the blood. He drew his bow and nocked an arrow. Sal drew his sword, once Thurston's, and peered about.</p><p></p><p>"For their deeds my friend we shall exact revenge. We shall pay them back a hundred fold, and their bodies will be left so that only the rats will enjoy them. Any idea how long ago this happened?" Meepo had that sickening warm feeling inside again after Burble's words.</p><p></p><p>"Meepo not know. Blood dry." He steeled himself and walked over to one of the room's many doors. He pounded twice on it. A moment later a voice called out in Draconic.</p><p></p><p>“Who is it? What do you want?” It was Ditno. Just the kobold Meepo didn't want. Ditno had nursed a grudge against Meepo ever since Meepo's spear accidentally nicked Ditno's groin several weeks ago when the two of them were exploring the room with the dragon-carved door. Meepo and the other kobolds with him at the time had great fun pummeling and stabbing Ditno in all manner of painful but non-lethal places. Ditno's disagreement was entirely unreasonable, almost human.</p><p></p><p>“It's Meepo. When did the goblins attack out here?” Might as well be direct about it.</p><p></p><p>“Meepo? Aren't you dead yet? Nevermind, I'll make sure you are.” Meepo heard the bolt on the door slide free and the door itself opened a bit.</p><p></p><p>“I came back with humans, big humans. There's no way to kill me unless you kill them too. You know. You were there when Yusdrayl sent me off with them.”</p><p></p><p>“Need humans to protect you now, Meepo? This is what has become of the Mighty Dragon Keeper? From lying in rags to consorting with humans. I think I'd kill myself rather than suffer the shame.” Ditno said pompously.</p><p></p><p>“At least I don't take my pleasure with gnome whores.” Meepo quickly changed his phrasing from full, proper Draconic to the kobold vulgate to confuse Rowland in case the fool was listening. He dropped into eerily even tones and looked intensely into Ditno's eyes. “We have brain worms in us, Ditno. We camped by a nest and they came for us while we slept. They prefer goblins, but if you don't tell me how long ago the goblins were here soon, they'll settle for you.”</p><p></p><p>Brain worms took over the minds of kobolds or anything else they could get their hands on. Meepo knew that when Ditno was a hatchling, his parents were infected with the worms in the Underdark and had spread the things to a quarter of the tribe before they were driven out. Ditno was only let live because the kobolds knew the worms didn't take a hatchling until it was at least three years old, but he'd been suspect all his life because of it. Until Meepo's disgrace, he'd been the favorite victim of the whole tribe. No one stood lower.</p><p></p><p>His bluff had the desired effect. Ditno recoiled and quickly told him that the goblins had attacked four sleeps ago. Meepo let him go, knowing if Ditno was fool enough to tell Yusdrayl his threat she'd kill him in an instant, assuming he was infected and trying to sneak into the tribe's good graces.</p><p></p><p>Meepo told the humans how long ago the attack was and Burble asked, ”Then we shall have to prepare carefully and keep an eye out for the goblins. Have they come back or been seen since then Meepo?" Meepo told him they hadn't.</p><p></p><p>Burble resolved to be on his guard and advised the others to do the same. It was just like humans that they had to be told. With that he opened up the next door along the group's route and they left kobold territory for the neglected part of the ruins that formed the back way into the goblin-held areas.</p><p></p><p>A few minutes more of careful advance and the group had returned once more to the familiar dragon-shaped fountain and cold-radiating door carved with skeletal dragons. Burble drew near to it and Meepo trailed a few feet behind. The burned halfling proffered a smiling mask of red silk and invoked his god, "Most Holy Olidammarra, guide me in this gamble that I take, I roll the dice to open the way. I ask you to channel the goodness of a good hand and let this roll the dice to come up the true score."</p><p></p><p>Meepo reasoned that gambling gods made more sense than sun gods. At least they spread their rewards randomly instead of deliberately to those most stupid who called on them. He shot a glance at Lorn. The armored fool was drawing his sword and readying himself, as were the others while Burble prayed.</p><p></p><p>As Burble finished his prayer the skeleton-carved door suddenly burst into blue light; silent and slowly pulsing. The door swung quietly open revealing a chamber beyond. Ten sarcophagi lined the walls, five to either side marching in a stone row to a small shrine of black stone. The shrine had a lone candle tipped with a dancing green flame upon it, as well as a small rolled scroll. Each sarcophagus was carved with the likeness of a thin figure with pointed ears and angled features, an elf.</p><p></p><p>Colvin goggled at the chamber and said, "Oh my!" His bow dipped a bit before he realized he'd let his guard down.</p><p></p><p>Rowland cleared his throat quietly, "I don't suppose anyone can determine if this tomb is a place of good or evil..." Typical. A human sees an elven burial ground and immediately asks if it's good or evil. As though it made any difference. Gnomes, elves, dwarves, and humans were all called 'good' but caused no end of trouble for decent kobolds. Likewise evil orcs, goblins, and others did just the same. This whole good business must be something their gods thought up.</p><p></p><p>"I have no talents in that manner Rowland, but so far there has been NOTHING good here in the rift." Burble replied. Meepo considered that a compliment. What humans called good seemed to have a habit of being stupid as well. Evil had at least the potential for intelligence.</p><p></p><p>"Perhaps..." Rillith murmured.</p><p></p><p>"This is not a good place to be." Jaryth observed.</p><p></p><p>Burble put away his mask and drew his bow. "I would say we should be very wary here folks. This set up just begs for some kind of undead to come up and I will ask that you keep your weapons handy. I do not have any more ability to challenge the dearth of life, and we would have to use our weapons to fight them. Let me try something here, I would rather not try to go in to check that shrine at this time myself, but rather then just ignore this place, let me see if I can rope that candle" Meepo's friend was pulling out his rope now.</p><p></p><p>That was wise enough. Meepo hoped the humans would be wise enough to listen to Burble. If they could only do that, there might be hope for them.</p><p></p><p>"The undead eh? Never faced them before." Colvin smiled at the thought. Meepo hoped that the undead killed him first.</p><p></p><p>"C'mon! What could be so bad? Let's either explore this place the right way, or if you'd rather not..." Colvin frowned. "...let's just leave it be totally. The candle will most likely still be here later. I mean it IS lit, which means someone's been here recently, yes?" He looked around the floor for tracks and found none.</p><p></p><p>"I am a paranoid thief Colvin and I am sure that something menacing lurks here. I will be happy if you want to go in and touch the graves or the grab the candle. Me I would rather wait and see. Do what you will archer, and I will do what I think is right. Undead I have not faced, but rats, goblins and woodies have been enough to show me that battle is not something to take lightly." More of Burble's wisdom that the humans would ignore, it was only a candle he wanted.</p><p></p><p>"Ok! I'll go in then, if someone wants to cover me. Anyone else feel like coming along?" Colvin grinned like an idiot.</p><p></p><p>"Me..." Rillith answered. She took a few steps forward and looked into the room closely.</p><p></p><p>"There, I now have a second. Any other takers?" Colvin grinned.</p><p></p><p>"Let's not touch that candle ok?" Jaryth whined. Meepo wanted it just to frustrate the whelp.</p><p></p><p>"Ok archer, go for it. Me, I will stay here until you have seen for yourself if it is clear or not. You're a lot more insane or innocent to expect not to get hurt, but as you will." Burble said. Meepo opted for considering Colvin stupid like all humans.</p><p></p><p>"Neither, just brave." Colvin winked.</p><p></p><p>"And I never expected not to get hurt. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? Besides, I've never heard of any musty old skeleton faster than my trusty bow here." He patted his bow.</p><p></p><p>"I've ventured many times already. I'm better covering you with my fingers." Rowland said as he poised his hands to work a spell.</p><p></p><p>"Good point Rowland. How can I fail with the great Kid Sorceror watching my back?" Colvin smiled again. Meepo hoped he lost some teeth at the very least to whatever he next faced.</p><p></p><p>"So no more takers then? Fine. C'mon Rillith, let's show this lot how a true dungeon-diver does it." Colvin motioned to the short, robed figure to start in. He and she took careful steps into the chamber, stopping after each footfall to look about before proceeding.</p><p></p><p>The two advanced all the way to the shrine without incident. "Umm, seems like it is ok for now. Want to search the alter there and that candle. Maybe even open up some of those caskets?" Burble suggested.</p><p></p><p>"See? Nothing to it!" Colvin scoffed and bent over to look at the candle. "Two steps ahead of you, my halfling holy- man." He called to Burble.</p><p></p><p>"As for the sarcophagi, I think with my shoulder still healing and all that someone with bigger biceps might be better at it. After all, one of those lids probably weighs more than I do!"</p><p></p><p>"Sal, why don't you do the honors? I will cover you." Lorn suggested.</p><p></p><p>"Ooooooh!" Colvin cooed at the shrine. "I think we have something here, folks. Come take a look at this!" He motioned for the group to come forward without looking away from the shrine. Meepo knew no good would come of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Samnell, post: 1237, member: 130"] [b]XVI-The Cold Door[/b] Wherein our hero revisits his past adventures. With the gold as divided as the humans could stomach, the rest of the day passed uneventfully. There was much distrustful staring and Meepo ran through six or seven different plots in his mind, most involving creative and more importantly slow and painful ways for Jaryth and Lorn to die. Aside from nearly dying thanks to something the humans had done, it was a normal day for Meepo. The humans were short on oil for their lanterns now that Rhea had died with most of their stores, so they'd decided to save what they could. That meant that they only had light when they absolutely must have it. Meepo didn't remember or care who thought up the rationing. He certainly didn't need some miniature sun burning in his face to see things. Watching the humans blundering about in the dark was an added bonus for him. Three times Lorn almost sat on Rillith. When morning came again, Lorn's incessant prattle started up. "I say we have rested long enough. The mission has taken far longer than it should have. Two of our numbers have been brutalized by the fiends behind this, and we know not of Embrill's fate. I for one shall not let their death's go unadvenged. Let's find the fiends behind all this and complete our mission." Meepo was quite content with not knowing Embrill's fate, unless it turned out to be slow and painful. Perhaps if Lorn, Jaryth, and Embrill could all share a slow and painful death Meepo might feel obliged to take notice. That would be wonderfully entertaining, he was sure. But alas, the kobold knew from experience that the humans would never be so accommodating to the needs of a mere kobold. "Which of the fiends you talking about? Goblins? Belak? The kobolds? The rats? Or even the ones, whoever they were, that killed Rhea?" Burble asked. Meepo had almost forgotten that Yusdrayl told the humans about the Outcast who lived below. Thinking back to past adventures, Meepo wondered what the goblins must have thought when they found their guardchamber's floor slick with blood and corpses of their fellows. Some of Rowland's precious dragonblood had fallen there too, but the fool was sure to produce more so long as he was kept alive. "I doubt the kobolds are behind our troubles, since we are aiding them. The rats are not intelligent enough to be behind everything. The goblins are my best guess at the moment, but I fear what we have seen hints at a far greater power behind all this." Lorn doubted the kobolds were behind any of the group's troubles because the group was aiding them. That was the most hilarious thing Meepo had heard in weeks. It took all his resolve to keep from bursting into laughter. If Lorn knew half of what went through a proper kobold's mind he wouldn't rest until they were all slain. Burble nodded. "And that is probably this Belak that Yusdrayl told us about. Look, shall we go off then, to either the other door in the entry room or the cold door? I tire of waiting here in this room.” So did Meepo. The room reeked of the humans' leavings. After some discussion, but surprisingly less than normal, the humans agreed to first search beyond a door they hadn't yet opened at the base of a ruined tower. Meepo knew what they would find, but he hoped that by some twist of fate the impregnable dragon-carved door that he and a few other kobolds had discovered back when he was still keeper of dragons would come to life and eat Lorn. Maybe Jaryth too. A whelp that size would make a suitable dessert. Reaching the wooden door that the humans had not yet ventured beyond, Jaryth finally cursed Meepo's ears with another dose of his prattle. "Should I try to pick that, or do you want to, Burble?" The whelp was surprisingly meek at the moment. He must be planning something. Burble set at the door himself. "I got it lad. Just sit tight and hold your britches." The halfling poked and prodded for nearly half an hour before finally deeming the door safe to pass. Meepo could have told him it was safe right off, but the stench of human waste had soured his mood for the day and he was happy to watch Jaryth and Lorn wait impatiently. Once he was done, Burble slowly opened the door and peered inside. Everything was as Meepo remembered it. The long, over-wide hallway still had the same crumbling walls and the far end was still fully demolished and looked out into the ravine beyond. Meepo wondered how often rats wandered by. The west wall was, as before, in better shape and sported a stone door with a rearing dragon carved on it in relief. Meepo rather liked the carving and could imagine it darting out of the door to bite Lorn's head off quite easily. Of course, the loss of a head probably wouldn't inconvenience Lorn any more than losing the sun would Meepo. Meepo was surprised to notice a keyhole in the dragon's open mouth he hadn't spotted before. He must have missed it when Ditno tripped on a rock and Meepo and Jfik went and poked him with their spears. A small smile split the kobold's snout. That was a fun time. Ditno bled for hours. Rillith regarded the door and spoke her mind, "Hmmm....." Meepo was glad she added that. Such priceless insight. Burble stalked down the hallway, stepping carefully across the floor and checking every step for hidden wires, trick stones, and whatever else he looked for when he pulled out his tools and started puttering around. One of these days Meepo would have to suggest that they just send Lorn into any unexplored area. If there were any traps, he was sure to find them. He found nothing on the floor and no dangers around the dragon-carved door either. Meepo was relieved. His friend was doing what was properly the job of a large, dumb human who no one would miss if he died. Alternatively, Meepo mused while he looked at Jaryth, a small, mad human who no one would miss if he died was an option. Colvin, who had been tensed in an absurd post with his bow half-drawn suddenly relaxed, "WHEW!" he said as he wiped sweat from his brow. Meepo added him to the list of potential trap bait. Burble set at the keyhole in the stone door, but he couldn't budge it. Meepo and his kobolds hadn't gotten it to open either. For once, though, the humans had stood in one place out in the open for near to an hour and nothing had attacked them yet. It was a pleasant change from their usual habit of attracting rats like a corpse attracted flies. Thinking of corpses Meepo remembered Rhea and his innards lurched a bit. He quickly soothed himself, though. Thoughts of roasting wolf setting his mouth to watering. "Damn lock is too much for my abilities, We will indeed need the key that Yusdrayl had on her alter. Shall we head to the cold door all?" Yusdrayl's key. Meepo hadn't considered it before. Now he wished he'd thought of it when he still had Calcryx. Whatever this door was protecting must be important if it was secured so well Burble couldn't open it. It would have been a valuable weapon against the chieftain. It could still be a valuable weapon, but he'd have to keep it from the humans to ensure its proper use. There was slim chance of that. "Should I try? I have some skill at this. Nothing like Burble, I'm not a full thief but I learned some skills." Jaryth asked in his typical, simpering tone. Of course Jaryth was nothing like Burble. Burble was a loyal, upstanding halfling that Meepo was proud to call friend. He was the sort that would sneak away from camp in the dark of the night to murder human holy men in their sleep and knock children senseless to keep them from waking and catching him in the act. Jaryth was the type who seized the legs of god-kissers and whined for their pleasure. Lorn snorted, "The master thief shows his prowess once again." Colvin groaned, "Oh gods, not again." Rillith winced. Meepo had his first nearly overwhelming urge to kill Lorn of the day. Could he have no peace? First goblins, then Embrill, now Lorn. It was getting so a kobold couldn't plot the deaths of those around him for his own selfish gain anymore. "Think you can do better kiddo, go for it." Burble snorted back at Lorn as he turned away from the door. He must have meant to start for that cold door. Meepo had a bad feeling about that door. It had nearly killed Burble once and the halfling was willing to give it another chance. It looked to Meepo like a job more suited to Lorn or Jaryth than his scarred friend. Rowland sighed and turned to Lorn. He spoke in a voice he clearly thought no one else could hear, "Please don't make trouble we don't need." Meepo wondered if Rowland would be asking fish not to swim and gnomes not to murder kobolds in their sleep next. Rillith was looking curiously at Lorn and Meepo wondered again what she was hiding under that hood. "Ok, that's it! Lorn, when we get out of this, I'm going to introduce you to dramdath. It's a very nice plant. Makes all sorts of problems go away. I like to call it the "happy-feel-good plant. But, then again, I'm 10, so I can give things stupid names like that." Jaryth at first barked and then his tone drifted to a gratingly whimsical and thoughtless rambling. Meepo had noticed that despite Jaryth's declarations, stupidity was not reserved for children when it came to humans. Then Jaryth shifted his attention again, back to the door. "Well, lemme take a looksee, maybe I can get it. Who knows? Chaos can work wonders. Can I use your tools? I kinda don't have mine. They're back at the guild..." Jaryth asked Burble. "If you break them, I warn you, I will break your hands." Meepo looked forward to Jaryth breaking Burble's tools. Maybe he could help with the hand breaking. It had been too long since he was able to torture someone who deserved it as much as Jaryth. "You have more than enough to replace them. And if you don't want to replace them with your lawful earnings, I'll buy ya a new set soon as I can. Ok?" Meepo wondered if human fingerbones could be worked into suitable thieving tools. It was a possibility worth exploring. The Whelp wanted to help, after all. "No I do not think so. Kid I will just say this one more time. Drop the accusations. As for the tools, they were a gift of my Mother before she was killed. Hurt them at your peril." Burble hissed. "On second thought. No, just give them back. I will be the only one that will use them I believe." Burble reconsidered a moment later. Meepo was disappointed that he wouldn't get to help break Jaryth's hands. Jaryth had already turned to the door and ignored Burble. "No I said. I want them back and I do not want to debate the point. Hand them over Jaryth. Now." Maybe breaking hands wasn't out of the question after all. "What accusations? I was joking. Honest! I'm sorry, I was trying to make a joke and lighten the mood a little. Sorry." He still wasn't really paying attention. "Fine. Here you go." Jaryth handed the tools back roughly and stalked away. Meepo sighed. He'd been looking forward to feeling tiny bones snapping in his hands to the music of Jaryth's pained cries. "Lets head out." Burble said, dismissing Jaryth. The group fell sullenly in behind the halfling and headed towards the cold door. Burble swept the floors and walls for traps as he went, poking and peering about as usual. Within minutes, the group reached a familiar room. Meepo knew it best from his time waiting for death after Calcryx was taken. His rags still laid on the floor where he'd left them and he noticed that the jade dragon statuettes were gone from the altar. Had it been only five days since Worthless Druid prodded him out of those same rags? Other things had changed as well. There were small pools of dried blood on the floor, along with shattered crossbow bolts and broken javelins. Goblins must have attacked again. Meepo drew his sword and hissed, "Goblins. Goblins do this." "Oh my..." Colvin gasped on seeing the blood. He drew his bow and nocked an arrow. Sal drew his sword, once Thurston's, and peered about. "For their deeds my friend we shall exact revenge. We shall pay them back a hundred fold, and their bodies will be left so that only the rats will enjoy them. Any idea how long ago this happened?" Meepo had that sickening warm feeling inside again after Burble's words. "Meepo not know. Blood dry." He steeled himself and walked over to one of the room's many doors. He pounded twice on it. A moment later a voice called out in Draconic. “Who is it? What do you want?” It was Ditno. Just the kobold Meepo didn't want. Ditno had nursed a grudge against Meepo ever since Meepo's spear accidentally nicked Ditno's groin several weeks ago when the two of them were exploring the room with the dragon-carved door. Meepo and the other kobolds with him at the time had great fun pummeling and stabbing Ditno in all manner of painful but non-lethal places. Ditno's disagreement was entirely unreasonable, almost human. “It's Meepo. When did the goblins attack out here?” Might as well be direct about it. “Meepo? Aren't you dead yet? Nevermind, I'll make sure you are.” Meepo heard the bolt on the door slide free and the door itself opened a bit. “I came back with humans, big humans. There's no way to kill me unless you kill them too. You know. You were there when Yusdrayl sent me off with them.” “Need humans to protect you now, Meepo? This is what has become of the Mighty Dragon Keeper? From lying in rags to consorting with humans. I think I'd kill myself rather than suffer the shame.” Ditno said pompously. “At least I don't take my pleasure with gnome whores.” Meepo quickly changed his phrasing from full, proper Draconic to the kobold vulgate to confuse Rowland in case the fool was listening. He dropped into eerily even tones and looked intensely into Ditno's eyes. “We have brain worms in us, Ditno. We camped by a nest and they came for us while we slept. They prefer goblins, but if you don't tell me how long ago the goblins were here soon, they'll settle for you.” Brain worms took over the minds of kobolds or anything else they could get their hands on. Meepo knew that when Ditno was a hatchling, his parents were infected with the worms in the Underdark and had spread the things to a quarter of the tribe before they were driven out. Ditno was only let live because the kobolds knew the worms didn't take a hatchling until it was at least three years old, but he'd been suspect all his life because of it. Until Meepo's disgrace, he'd been the favorite victim of the whole tribe. No one stood lower. His bluff had the desired effect. Ditno recoiled and quickly told him that the goblins had attacked four sleeps ago. Meepo let him go, knowing if Ditno was fool enough to tell Yusdrayl his threat she'd kill him in an instant, assuming he was infected and trying to sneak into the tribe's good graces. Meepo told the humans how long ago the attack was and Burble asked, ”Then we shall have to prepare carefully and keep an eye out for the goblins. Have they come back or been seen since then Meepo?" Meepo told him they hadn't. Burble resolved to be on his guard and advised the others to do the same. It was just like humans that they had to be told. With that he opened up the next door along the group's route and they left kobold territory for the neglected part of the ruins that formed the back way into the goblin-held areas. A few minutes more of careful advance and the group had returned once more to the familiar dragon-shaped fountain and cold-radiating door carved with skeletal dragons. Burble drew near to it and Meepo trailed a few feet behind. The burned halfling proffered a smiling mask of red silk and invoked his god, "Most Holy Olidammarra, guide me in this gamble that I take, I roll the dice to open the way. I ask you to channel the goodness of a good hand and let this roll the dice to come up the true score." Meepo reasoned that gambling gods made more sense than sun gods. At least they spread their rewards randomly instead of deliberately to those most stupid who called on them. He shot a glance at Lorn. The armored fool was drawing his sword and readying himself, as were the others while Burble prayed. As Burble finished his prayer the skeleton-carved door suddenly burst into blue light; silent and slowly pulsing. The door swung quietly open revealing a chamber beyond. Ten sarcophagi lined the walls, five to either side marching in a stone row to a small shrine of black stone. The shrine had a lone candle tipped with a dancing green flame upon it, as well as a small rolled scroll. Each sarcophagus was carved with the likeness of a thin figure with pointed ears and angled features, an elf. Colvin goggled at the chamber and said, "Oh my!" His bow dipped a bit before he realized he'd let his guard down. Rowland cleared his throat quietly, "I don't suppose anyone can determine if this tomb is a place of good or evil..." Typical. A human sees an elven burial ground and immediately asks if it's good or evil. As though it made any difference. Gnomes, elves, dwarves, and humans were all called 'good' but caused no end of trouble for decent kobolds. Likewise evil orcs, goblins, and others did just the same. This whole good business must be something their gods thought up. "I have no talents in that manner Rowland, but so far there has been NOTHING good here in the rift." Burble replied. Meepo considered that a compliment. What humans called good seemed to have a habit of being stupid as well. Evil had at least the potential for intelligence. "Perhaps..." Rillith murmured. "This is not a good place to be." Jaryth observed. Burble put away his mask and drew his bow. "I would say we should be very wary here folks. This set up just begs for some kind of undead to come up and I will ask that you keep your weapons handy. I do not have any more ability to challenge the dearth of life, and we would have to use our weapons to fight them. Let me try something here, I would rather not try to go in to check that shrine at this time myself, but rather then just ignore this place, let me see if I can rope that candle" Meepo's friend was pulling out his rope now. That was wise enough. Meepo hoped the humans would be wise enough to listen to Burble. If they could only do that, there might be hope for them. "The undead eh? Never faced them before." Colvin smiled at the thought. Meepo hoped that the undead killed him first. "C'mon! What could be so bad? Let's either explore this place the right way, or if you'd rather not..." Colvin frowned. "...let's just leave it be totally. The candle will most likely still be here later. I mean it IS lit, which means someone's been here recently, yes?" He looked around the floor for tracks and found none. "I am a paranoid thief Colvin and I am sure that something menacing lurks here. I will be happy if you want to go in and touch the graves or the grab the candle. Me I would rather wait and see. Do what you will archer, and I will do what I think is right. Undead I have not faced, but rats, goblins and woodies have been enough to show me that battle is not something to take lightly." More of Burble's wisdom that the humans would ignore, it was only a candle he wanted. "Ok! I'll go in then, if someone wants to cover me. Anyone else feel like coming along?" Colvin grinned like an idiot. "Me..." Rillith answered. She took a few steps forward and looked into the room closely. "There, I now have a second. Any other takers?" Colvin grinned. "Let's not touch that candle ok?" Jaryth whined. Meepo wanted it just to frustrate the whelp. "Ok archer, go for it. Me, I will stay here until you have seen for yourself if it is clear or not. You're a lot more insane or innocent to expect not to get hurt, but as you will." Burble said. Meepo opted for considering Colvin stupid like all humans. "Neither, just brave." Colvin winked. "And I never expected not to get hurt. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, eh? Besides, I've never heard of any musty old skeleton faster than my trusty bow here." He patted his bow. "I've ventured many times already. I'm better covering you with my fingers." Rowland said as he poised his hands to work a spell. "Good point Rowland. How can I fail with the great Kid Sorceror watching my back?" Colvin smiled again. Meepo hoped he lost some teeth at the very least to whatever he next faced. "So no more takers then? Fine. C'mon Rillith, let's show this lot how a true dungeon-diver does it." Colvin motioned to the short, robed figure to start in. He and she took careful steps into the chamber, stopping after each footfall to look about before proceeding. The two advanced all the way to the shrine without incident. "Umm, seems like it is ok for now. Want to search the alter there and that candle. Maybe even open up some of those caskets?" Burble suggested. "See? Nothing to it!" Colvin scoffed and bent over to look at the candle. "Two steps ahead of you, my halfling holy- man." He called to Burble. "As for the sarcophagi, I think with my shoulder still healing and all that someone with bigger biceps might be better at it. After all, one of those lids probably weighs more than I do!" "Sal, why don't you do the honors? I will cover you." Lorn suggested. "Ooooooh!" Colvin cooed at the shrine. "I think we have something here, folks. Come take a look at this!" He motioned for the group to come forward without looking away from the shrine. Meepo knew no good would come of this. [/QUOTE]
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Meepo's Story Hour [NEWS! 6-19-02]
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