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My wife won't let me play D&D.
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<blockquote data-quote="Zaruthustran" data-source="post: 401864" data-attributes="member: 1457"><p>I can sympathize. I lived with a woman for 5 years, and she made the exact same demands. So I caved in and didn't game. This caused me to resent her, and her to not respect me (I had no backbone, after all). The relationship ended after I realized I'd lost my self-respect, my favorite hobby, and all my friends. </p><p></p><p>I then met a beautiful woman who loves and respects me, and who I love and respect. She is a complete non-gamer. As in, she doesn't even play Monopoly or cards. I am a gamer; she knows it, I game 2-3 nights a week, and we're madly in love and happily married. </p><p></p><p>But I'm not saying you should divorce your wife. This relationship can be salvaged. I say relationship because the problem isn't that your wife won't let you game, the problem is that your wife doesn't respect you.</p><p></p><p>If she respected you then your free time would be your own, obviously. Instead, she has picked one of your favorite hobbies and has forbidden you from playing. Why? Why is she telling you what you can and cannot do in your spare time? Why is she making such hurtful, ridiculous demands?</p><p></p><p>You need to figure this out. Are you ignoring her? Are you a bad husband? Do you belittle her hobbies and interests? Often, I've noticed that a boyfriend will knowingly or unknowlingly restrict his girlfriend's/wife's freedom ("don't wear that", "I don't want to go out tonight/any night", "don't buy that", "give me the remote control", "I don't want to see that movie--let's see this movie", etc). The woman responds by directly or indirectly restricting her man's freedom--a fair reaction. So take a good look at your own behavior. </p><p></p><p>Regardless, don't let her tell you what to do. You're a free human being. Your leisure time is your own. If the game is Sunday, and you truly have Sunday free (you don't have kids, must-do chores, or some other responsiblity) then go and play for crissakes. In response to a complaint or nag say "Look. Are you seriously trying to dictate what I can and cannot do in my free time?" If she loves and respects you, she'll realize how riduculous her demands are, and "allow" you to go and play with your pals.</p><p></p><p>But follow up that zinger above with "C'mon--what's this really all about?" She's got issues, and if you love and respect her you'll do your best to figure them out.</p><p></p><p>-z</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zaruthustran, post: 401864, member: 1457"] I can sympathize. I lived with a woman for 5 years, and she made the exact same demands. So I caved in and didn't game. This caused me to resent her, and her to not respect me (I had no backbone, after all). The relationship ended after I realized I'd lost my self-respect, my favorite hobby, and all my friends. I then met a beautiful woman who loves and respects me, and who I love and respect. She is a complete non-gamer. As in, she doesn't even play Monopoly or cards. I am a gamer; she knows it, I game 2-3 nights a week, and we're madly in love and happily married. But I'm not saying you should divorce your wife. This relationship can be salvaged. I say relationship because the problem isn't that your wife won't let you game, the problem is that your wife doesn't respect you. If she respected you then your free time would be your own, obviously. Instead, she has picked one of your favorite hobbies and has forbidden you from playing. Why? Why is she telling you what you can and cannot do in your spare time? Why is she making such hurtful, ridiculous demands? You need to figure this out. Are you ignoring her? Are you a bad husband? Do you belittle her hobbies and interests? Often, I've noticed that a boyfriend will knowingly or unknowlingly restrict his girlfriend's/wife's freedom ("don't wear that", "I don't want to go out tonight/any night", "don't buy that", "give me the remote control", "I don't want to see that movie--let's see this movie", etc). The woman responds by directly or indirectly restricting her man's freedom--a fair reaction. So take a good look at your own behavior. Regardless, don't let her tell you what to do. You're a free human being. Your leisure time is your own. If the game is Sunday, and you truly have Sunday free (you don't have kids, must-do chores, or some other responsiblity) then go and play for crissakes. In response to a complaint or nag say "Look. Are you seriously trying to dictate what I can and cannot do in my free time?" If she loves and respects you, she'll realize how riduculous her demands are, and "allow" you to go and play with your pals. But follow up that zinger above with "C'mon--what's this really all about?" She's got issues, and if you love and respect her you'll do your best to figure them out. -z [/QUOTE]
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