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<blockquote data-quote="KenHood" data-source="post: 4925614" data-attributes="member: 4413"><p>Hacker, in the midst of picking bits of regurgitated food from his teeth, waves absently. <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: DarkRed">"You're welcome."</span></span></span></p><p></p><p>The gnome rubs his jaw and mutters to himself, <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"Now, if only I could remember what he was thanking me for..."</span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"Yes,"</span></span></span> says Hacker, standing up and flicking vomit on the floor, <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"Yes, I do."</span></span></span></p><p></p><p>Hacker walks over to an apprentice wizard--obviously underaged and desperately attempting to hide it--and grabs the man-child by the nose. <span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"You! Clean up this mess!"</span></span></span></p><p></p><p>The bespectacled boy with the lightning bolt scar hastily prestidigitates away the mess. Hacker hurls him back into his booth, where the child begins crying softly to himself, as a drunken young female wizard and a thoroughly drunken red-headed male wizard attempt to comfort him.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"Especially when she's still ***** off at one of those people for a minor indiscretion that wasn't necessarily his fault," </span></span></span>Hacker mutters to himself.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"Swell."</span></span></span></p><p></p><p>Hacker sighs.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred">"Okay, honey, I know it's been a while since I last esca--I mean, since we last saw one another, so let's go over the ground rules again...</span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Georgia'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkred"> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Maintain a minimum safe distance of five feet from Hacker at all times.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">If Hacker leaves his possessions unattended, do not root through the contents and keep the interesting bits.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">No sniffing Hacker's undergarments on laundry day.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">Hacker's name is 'Hacker', not 'Snoofy-Woofins' or 'Cuddly-Wuddly' or... <span style="font-family: 'Arial'"><span style="font-size: 10px"><span style="color: White">[The gnome goes on for quite some time.]</span></span></span></li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">No retelling stories about Hacker's more shady exploits while in the presence of the city guard.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">No staring at Hacker while he is sleeping.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">No painting murals of Hacker from the entrails of critics--because, for some odd reason, that keeps getting blamed on Hacker.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">No claiming to be Hacker's wife and requesting conjugal visits, if and when the authorities decide to arrest Hacker."</li> </ol><p>"And I know I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: Hacker Brass is a married man! (Even if his divine wife no longer acknowledges it.) Having tasted bliss from heavenly lips, I can no longer find comfort in a mortal embrace. It's just part of the burden that I bear."</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KenHood, post: 4925614, member: 4413"] Hacker, in the midst of picking bits of regurgitated food from his teeth, waves absently. [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="DarkRed"]"You're welcome."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] The gnome rubs his jaw and mutters to himself, [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"Now, if only I could remember what he was thanking me for..."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"Yes,"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] says Hacker, standing up and flicking vomit on the floor, [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"Yes, I do."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] Hacker walks over to an apprentice wizard--obviously underaged and desperately attempting to hide it--and grabs the man-child by the nose. [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"You! Clean up this mess!"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] The bespectacled boy with the lightning bolt scar hastily prestidigitates away the mess. Hacker hurls him back into his booth, where the child begins crying softly to himself, as a drunken young female wizard and a thoroughly drunken red-headed male wizard attempt to comfort him. [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"Especially when she's still ***** off at one of those people for a minor indiscretion that wasn't necessarily his fault," [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]Hacker mutters to himself. [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"Swell."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] Hacker sighs. [FONT="Georgia"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="darkred"]"Okay, honey, I know it's been a while since I last esca--I mean, since we last saw one another, so let's go over the ground rules again... [LIST=1] [*]Maintain a minimum safe distance of five feet from Hacker at all times. [*]If Hacker leaves his possessions unattended, do not root through the contents and keep the interesting bits. [*]No sniffing Hacker's undergarments on laundry day. [*]Hacker's name is 'Hacker', not 'Snoofy-Woofins' or 'Cuddly-Wuddly' or... [FONT="Arial"][SIZE="2"][COLOR="White"][The gnome goes on for quite some time.][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [*]No retelling stories about Hacker's more shady exploits while in the presence of the city guard. [*]No staring at Hacker while he is sleeping. [*]No painting murals of Hacker from the entrails of critics--because, for some odd reason, that keeps getting blamed on Hacker. [*]No claiming to be Hacker's wife and requesting conjugal visits, if and when the authorities decide to arrest Hacker." [/LIST] "And I know I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: Hacker Brass is a married man! (Even if his divine wife no longer acknowledges it.) Having tasted bliss from heavenly lips, I can no longer find comfort in a mortal embrace. It's just part of the burden that I bear."[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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