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<blockquote data-quote="VL Darling" data-source="post: 7726924" data-attributes="member: 6904455"><p>She's not though - and has stated that clearly. And Mentzer set the tone with his 'flirting' which, look, I know it can be hard for people who are not women in professional environments to understand this, but this kind of 'flirting' is unwelcome, obnoxious, and it demands you play nice or you end up getting raged at for being unfriendly. I have dealt with it from my first job right up until my current one. Mentzer is neither harmlessly flirting not complimenting, he is using age, gender, and his position as a TTRPG elder to force niceness out of someone. </p><p></p><p>Or at least he tried, except obnoxiously being cruel to survivors and backseat driving their trauma is a line most people don't cross.</p><p></p><p>Add into that patronising statements about 'shutting doors' and you've got a situation that is primed for abuse. It is a system that disadvantages women because no matter what we do - be nice/be quiet/block/argue - we are wrong and dudes are 'just flirting' and 'mistaken' and somehow it becomes about not liking his 'opinion' rather than him being wrong, socially inappropriate, and harmful to the industry as a whole.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to spend my meetings and networking with other writers fending off ham-handed 'don't worry I'm safe' style flirting, or biting my tongue in half because they are egregiously wrong about a thing they have no experience in. I don't want the industry to be founded on women having to spend half their time on that, or guarding against it, or waiting for it, before they can do the solid awesome work they came to do. Or just looking at the workload of that and saying 'nah I have better stuff to do' (note: I did the latter).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="VL Darling, post: 7726924, member: 6904455"] She's not though - and has stated that clearly. And Mentzer set the tone with his 'flirting' which, look, I know it can be hard for people who are not women in professional environments to understand this, but this kind of 'flirting' is unwelcome, obnoxious, and it demands you play nice or you end up getting raged at for being unfriendly. I have dealt with it from my first job right up until my current one. Mentzer is neither harmlessly flirting not complimenting, he is using age, gender, and his position as a TTRPG elder to force niceness out of someone. Or at least he tried, except obnoxiously being cruel to survivors and backseat driving their trauma is a line most people don't cross. Add into that patronising statements about 'shutting doors' and you've got a situation that is primed for abuse. It is a system that disadvantages women because no matter what we do - be nice/be quiet/block/argue - we are wrong and dudes are 'just flirting' and 'mistaken' and somehow it becomes about not liking his 'opinion' rather than him being wrong, socially inappropriate, and harmful to the industry as a whole. I don't want to spend my meetings and networking with other writers fending off ham-handed 'don't worry I'm safe' style flirting, or biting my tongue in half because they are egregiously wrong about a thing they have no experience in. I don't want the industry to be founded on women having to spend half their time on that, or guarding against it, or waiting for it, before they can do the solid awesome work they came to do. Or just looking at the workload of that and saying 'nah I have better stuff to do' (note: I did the latter). [/QUOTE]
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