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<blockquote data-quote="the Jester" data-source="post: 3905917" data-attributes="member: 1210"><p><strong>To Save Aunty Flapjacks!</strong></p><p></p><p>The sky is grey and clouded. Atop the peak of a mountain, a small, untended shrine stands alone and, to all appearances, uninhabited. To a casual observer, there is nothing to see here except for a crumbling structure and scattered, weathered books. </p><p></p><p>But pass through a hidden door on one of the structure’s pillars and you would find an elevator; ride the elevator to the bottom of its shaft and you find a crypt. And there, within that long, sprawling crypt with its many niches extending out of the main room like twisted arthritic fingers, are our heroes. The smell of corruption, though faint, lingers in their noses; and the sight of the stone form of Aunty Flapjacks, whom they have traveled far to meet up with, makes their blood run cold. </p><p></p><p>“Is it...?” wonders Ari.</p><p></p><p>Jawbreaker chortles, “She got stoned.” He walks forward and takes hold of the statue, testing its weight. He grunts noncommitally.</p><p></p><p>At the far end of the chamber, something squirms up, emerging from the ground. It does not appear to leave a hole or trail behind. “Halt,” it commands, “and state your intentions. If they are not proper...” It lets the words hang as a threat.</p><p></p><p>Our heroes stare. The creature is quite strange- it looks almost like a stone caterpillar. It is not very big, nor is it very threatening; however, it does have the distorted face of a man.</p><p></p><p>Rush begins moving towards it. “We will state nothing,” he says.</p><p></p><p>“Rush,” warns Ari. “Wait a minute.”</p><p></p><p>But Rush is already faltering, staring at his arm. </p><p></p><p>It is beginning to calcify- to turn to stone. With horror, the soulknife feels his body starting to stiffen all over! With a cry of anger, he rushes at the caterpillar, which promptly slips into the ground, leaving not a mark. Rush skids to a halt where the thing had been, looking about wildly. “Where did it go??” he cries. “I want to kill it!” But the calcifying effect has stopped, at least for the moment. </p><p></p><p>“Dammit,” mutters Ari under his breath, “why do you always have to start a fight, Rush?” He starts casting <em>summon nature’s ally VI</em>; he is pretty well convinced that the wormy creature will be coming back around. Erasmuz is, too; he casts <em>barkskin</em> on himself.</p><p></p><p>“That thing not important,” Jawbreaker scolds the others. “Aunty important!” He grabs the statue and then begins carefully backing towards the elevator while dragging it. Before he can get very far- for she is heavy enough that he cannot move very quickly while carrying her- the worm spring up from the ground in the midst of our heroes! Immediately its calcifying aura starts to work, and though most of the party resists the power of the worm’s presence, Ari starts to turn to stone. He groans in dismay, but maintains his concentration on his summoning spell.</p><p></p><p>However, the kobolds are ready for it. Federico hits it with a pair of <em>magic missiles</em>, and Yip hits it with his crossbow. </p><p></p><p>Erasmuz steps up and casts <em>harm.</em> He touches the worm, but fails to penetrate its spell resistance. “Watch out,” he warns his friends. “It will be hard to hurt with spells.”</p><p></p><p>“Depends on the spell,” Ari retorts wittily. His spell is finished at last! Five minor xorns appear, surrounding the wormy creature. “Try your flee into the ground trick against these guys!” he crows. </p><p></p><p>Yip pounces in, concentrating to make his fist like unto a thing of iron, and he strikes it hard from flanking. Rush, too, hits the monster solidly. It does not seem to feel any pain, but the party is hewing chunks of it away. Surely it cannot survive much more! Federico shoots it with his crossbow, and finally the creature decides that it has had enough. It tries to escape and drop away into the ground, but several of our heroes manage to hit it as it flees, and the weird stone caterpillar thing dies. </p><p></p><p>“Do you always have to do that?” Ari demands of Rush. </p><p></p><p>“Do what?” </p><p></p><p>The druid just sighs.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>With some maneuvering, the party manages to get the statue into a <em>bag of holding</em>. Once that is taken care of, they loot the crypt (perhaps, on reflection, their intentions weren’t <em>entirely</em> proper) and then <em>wind walk</em> back to the halfling wagons. In the morning, they figure, they can turn Aunty Flapjacks back to flesh.</p><p></p><p>But when the morning comes, they find the mistake in their thinking. When Erasmuz casts <em>break enchantment,</em> Aunty Flapjacks does indeed turn back into flesh- but she collapses immediately, dead.</p><p></p><p>Ari smacks his forehead. “Of course! The calcifying aura!*” In dismay, he says, “Now what?”</p><p></p><p>“This is just a minor setback, buddy,” Erasmuz assures him. “We just need a bunch of diamonds, and I can raise him from the dead.”</p><p></p><p>“Oh yeah, you’re a cleric,” Ari replies. </p><p></p><p>“Sure, buddy.” Erasmuz grins, but inside he is laughing maniacally. <em>Cleric! I am no cleric! I am an ur-priest! I do not serve the powers that call themselves gods; I take power from them!</em></p><p></p><p>“Who’s your god, again?” </p><p></p><p>“That’s not the point. The point is, we need to get some diamonds.” Erasmuz says, “I have a thousand gold pieces worth of diamond dust, which I have for some other spells, but I can kick them down. We need 5000. Does anyone else have any?”</p><p></p><p>Putting their resources together, the party finds that they have only about half of the value of what they need to bring back Aunty Flapjacks. They <em>wind walk</em> to a small village with a diamond merchant; there they buy as much as they can afford, then <em>wind walk</em> back to the halfling wagons.</p><p></p><p>Aunty Flapjacks returns from beyond the veil of death in a shower of stolen divine energy, with the cackles of Erasmuz echoing in the background. At first she is quite disoriented; she does not know Erasmuz, or Ari, or Rush; but then she spies Federico and a huge grins breaks out on her face. “Federico!” she cries. “It has been so long!!” </p><p></p><p>“Oh, Auntie!” he squeals, rushing up to hug her. “We were so worried- you were gone, and then you were stone, and then you were dead-”</p><p></p><p>“It’s okay now,” she soothes him. “<em>I</em> am okay now.” </p><p></p><p>“But what were you doing? What’s going on? Why did you summon me back?”</p><p></p><p>“It all has to do with the vendetta,” she says.</p><p></p><p>The vendetta. The word makes our heroes’ hearts heavy. The Peachtrees have declared vendetta against the Flapjacks. And the blame weighs heavily on the party, because they are the evolution of the party that started it all. Though only Federico remains of the original group, the party shot out Benjy Peachtree’s eye early in their career during an abortive attempt to steal his mount. Later, Jawbreaker accidentally broke the neck of Heather Peachtree in an attempt to court her. She survived, but was permanently paralyzed.</p><p></p><p>Now the Peachtrees have sworn vengeance against the entire Flapjacks clan. Already, the violence has taken several lives on both sides. None of our heroes want to see halflings die (with the possible, occasional exception of Rush). It’s a terrible thing.</p><p></p><p>Now Aunty tells them that she is convinced that there is something else influencing the vendetta. Flapjacks efforts to negotiate a settlement were fruitless; their every overture was rebuffed. Certainly, under almost any circumstance, there should have been at least a nod towards diplomacy between the clans. Internecine halfling violence is an awful thing. Yet, nothing- and only two of the injured clan’s people were injured, and neither even killed!</p><p></p><p>Convinced, Aunty had set out to consult with an entity called Illurien of the Myriad Glimpses. She could be traded knowledge (in the form of rare books) for the answer to a single oracular question.</p><p></p><p>“What was your question?” asks Naomi, her chins jiggling.</p><p></p><p>“I asked, ‘What is the entity that has been encouraging the feud between the Flapjacks and the Peachtrees?’”</p><p></p><p>“What was the answer?”</p><p></p><p>“It was, ‘You ask about that which is not.’” </p><p></p><p>“Some kind of riddle,” remarks Federico.</p><p></p><p>“Obviously,” nods Rush.</p><p></p><p>“So, what now?” wonders Queffe.</p><p></p><p>“Well,” Aunty Flapjacks says, “I suggest that you visit Illurien. But you have to bring books of sufficient worth to her!”</p><p></p><p>“We don’t have a bunch of spare books right now,” Nara points out.</p><p></p><p>“But I know where you can get some.” Aunty smiles broadly. “There’s a ruined, sunken city, mostly gone- but the library still has enough books that you could probably buy your way to a question from Illurien.” She frowns. “But be careful! There are a pair or immense, panther-like creatures with tentacles emerging from their shoulders that lair there. I snuck past them, but there are many of you, and I don’t know if you are stealthy as I am.”</p><p></p><p>“We can take the monsters,” Jawbreaker grunts. “No problem. Sounds like we have plan.”</p><p></p><p>“Well, I think it’s time to spring into action- right after elevensies,” declares Erasmuz. </p><p></p><p>The party eats, and then begins to go towards the ruins wherein they will find their books. Erasmuz offers to <em>wind walk</em> the party, then changes his mind. Then he changes his mind again, and offers to cast the spell, only to change his mind again.</p><p></p><p>Our heroes walk. They spend a night on the road, and Erasmuz debates casting <em>wind walk</em> yet again on the morn, but our heroes continue to walk. The weather is bad; cold rain spatters down. Most of the party receives <em>endure elements</em> spells, and even those who don’t are kept warm enough by the exertions of their journey. </p><p></p><p>Soon, following Aunty’s directions, they come to a distinctive dimple in the land, and following it down to the center they see the collapsed remains of a few buidlings. In one place, the land is rent apart and an opening leads below. Our heroes enter, and find themselves in a passage formed by a layer of dirt and rock atop the remains of an old city. They begin exploring, still doing their best to follow Aunty’s directions. As they shuffle past a set of seriously damaged double doors, Rush pauses.</p><p></p><p>“I hear something.”</p><p></p><p>There is a low growl from the other side of the doorway.</p><p></p><p>With a yell, Rush pushes past the doorway.</p><p></p><p><em><strong>Next Time:</strong></em> Diplacer beast pack lords! Illurien! And our heroes go back to the beginning!</p><p></p><p>*The calcifying aura slowly turns you to stone as it does con damage to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="the Jester, post: 3905917, member: 1210"] [b]To Save Aunty Flapjacks![/b] The sky is grey and clouded. Atop the peak of a mountain, a small, untended shrine stands alone and, to all appearances, uninhabited. To a casual observer, there is nothing to see here except for a crumbling structure and scattered, weathered books. But pass through a hidden door on one of the structure’s pillars and you would find an elevator; ride the elevator to the bottom of its shaft and you find a crypt. And there, within that long, sprawling crypt with its many niches extending out of the main room like twisted arthritic fingers, are our heroes. The smell of corruption, though faint, lingers in their noses; and the sight of the stone form of Aunty Flapjacks, whom they have traveled far to meet up with, makes their blood run cold. “Is it...?” wonders Ari. Jawbreaker chortles, “She got stoned.” He walks forward and takes hold of the statue, testing its weight. He grunts noncommitally. At the far end of the chamber, something squirms up, emerging from the ground. It does not appear to leave a hole or trail behind. “Halt,” it commands, “and state your intentions. If they are not proper...” It lets the words hang as a threat. Our heroes stare. The creature is quite strange- it looks almost like a stone caterpillar. It is not very big, nor is it very threatening; however, it does have the distorted face of a man. Rush begins moving towards it. “We will state nothing,” he says. “Rush,” warns Ari. “Wait a minute.” But Rush is already faltering, staring at his arm. It is beginning to calcify- to turn to stone. With horror, the soulknife feels his body starting to stiffen all over! With a cry of anger, he rushes at the caterpillar, which promptly slips into the ground, leaving not a mark. Rush skids to a halt where the thing had been, looking about wildly. “Where did it go??” he cries. “I want to kill it!” But the calcifying effect has stopped, at least for the moment. “Dammit,” mutters Ari under his breath, “why do you always have to start a fight, Rush?” He starts casting [i]summon nature’s ally VI[/i]; he is pretty well convinced that the wormy creature will be coming back around. Erasmuz is, too; he casts [i]barkskin[/i] on himself. “That thing not important,” Jawbreaker scolds the others. “Aunty important!” He grabs the statue and then begins carefully backing towards the elevator while dragging it. Before he can get very far- for she is heavy enough that he cannot move very quickly while carrying her- the worm spring up from the ground in the midst of our heroes! Immediately its calcifying aura starts to work, and though most of the party resists the power of the worm’s presence, Ari starts to turn to stone. He groans in dismay, but maintains his concentration on his summoning spell. However, the kobolds are ready for it. Federico hits it with a pair of [i]magic missiles[/i], and Yip hits it with his crossbow. Erasmuz steps up and casts [i]harm.[/i] He touches the worm, but fails to penetrate its spell resistance. “Watch out,” he warns his friends. “It will be hard to hurt with spells.” “Depends on the spell,” Ari retorts wittily. His spell is finished at last! Five minor xorns appear, surrounding the wormy creature. “Try your flee into the ground trick against these guys!” he crows. Yip pounces in, concentrating to make his fist like unto a thing of iron, and he strikes it hard from flanking. Rush, too, hits the monster solidly. It does not seem to feel any pain, but the party is hewing chunks of it away. Surely it cannot survive much more! Federico shoots it with his crossbow, and finally the creature decides that it has had enough. It tries to escape and drop away into the ground, but several of our heroes manage to hit it as it flees, and the weird stone caterpillar thing dies. “Do you always have to do that?” Ari demands of Rush. “Do what?” The druid just sighs. *** With some maneuvering, the party manages to get the statue into a [i]bag of holding[/i]. Once that is taken care of, they loot the crypt (perhaps, on reflection, their intentions weren’t [i]entirely[/i] proper) and then [i]wind walk[/i] back to the halfling wagons. In the morning, they figure, they can turn Aunty Flapjacks back to flesh. But when the morning comes, they find the mistake in their thinking. When Erasmuz casts [i]break enchantment,[/i] Aunty Flapjacks does indeed turn back into flesh- but she collapses immediately, dead. Ari smacks his forehead. “Of course! The calcifying aura!*” In dismay, he says, “Now what?” “This is just a minor setback, buddy,” Erasmuz assures him. “We just need a bunch of diamonds, and I can raise him from the dead.” “Oh yeah, you’re a cleric,” Ari replies. “Sure, buddy.” Erasmuz grins, but inside he is laughing maniacally. [i]Cleric! I am no cleric! I am an ur-priest! I do not serve the powers that call themselves gods; I take power from them![/i] “Who’s your god, again?” “That’s not the point. The point is, we need to get some diamonds.” Erasmuz says, “I have a thousand gold pieces worth of diamond dust, which I have for some other spells, but I can kick them down. We need 5000. Does anyone else have any?” Putting their resources together, the party finds that they have only about half of the value of what they need to bring back Aunty Flapjacks. They [i]wind walk[/i] to a small village with a diamond merchant; there they buy as much as they can afford, then [i]wind walk[/i] back to the halfling wagons. Aunty Flapjacks returns from beyond the veil of death in a shower of stolen divine energy, with the cackles of Erasmuz echoing in the background. At first she is quite disoriented; she does not know Erasmuz, or Ari, or Rush; but then she spies Federico and a huge grins breaks out on her face. “Federico!” she cries. “It has been so long!!” “Oh, Auntie!” he squeals, rushing up to hug her. “We were so worried- you were gone, and then you were stone, and then you were dead-” “It’s okay now,” she soothes him. “[i]I[/i] am okay now.” “But what were you doing? What’s going on? Why did you summon me back?” “It all has to do with the vendetta,” she says. The vendetta. The word makes our heroes’ hearts heavy. The Peachtrees have declared vendetta against the Flapjacks. And the blame weighs heavily on the party, because they are the evolution of the party that started it all. Though only Federico remains of the original group, the party shot out Benjy Peachtree’s eye early in their career during an abortive attempt to steal his mount. Later, Jawbreaker accidentally broke the neck of Heather Peachtree in an attempt to court her. She survived, but was permanently paralyzed. Now the Peachtrees have sworn vengeance against the entire Flapjacks clan. Already, the violence has taken several lives on both sides. None of our heroes want to see halflings die (with the possible, occasional exception of Rush). It’s a terrible thing. Now Aunty tells them that she is convinced that there is something else influencing the vendetta. Flapjacks efforts to negotiate a settlement were fruitless; their every overture was rebuffed. Certainly, under almost any circumstance, there should have been at least a nod towards diplomacy between the clans. Internecine halfling violence is an awful thing. Yet, nothing- and only two of the injured clan’s people were injured, and neither even killed! Convinced, Aunty had set out to consult with an entity called Illurien of the Myriad Glimpses. She could be traded knowledge (in the form of rare books) for the answer to a single oracular question. “What was your question?” asks Naomi, her chins jiggling. “I asked, ‘What is the entity that has been encouraging the feud between the Flapjacks and the Peachtrees?’” “What was the answer?” “It was, ‘You ask about that which is not.’” “Some kind of riddle,” remarks Federico. “Obviously,” nods Rush. “So, what now?” wonders Queffe. “Well,” Aunty Flapjacks says, “I suggest that you visit Illurien. But you have to bring books of sufficient worth to her!” “We don’t have a bunch of spare books right now,” Nara points out. “But I know where you can get some.” Aunty smiles broadly. “There’s a ruined, sunken city, mostly gone- but the library still has enough books that you could probably buy your way to a question from Illurien.” She frowns. “But be careful! There are a pair or immense, panther-like creatures with tentacles emerging from their shoulders that lair there. I snuck past them, but there are many of you, and I don’t know if you are stealthy as I am.” “We can take the monsters,” Jawbreaker grunts. “No problem. Sounds like we have plan.” “Well, I think it’s time to spring into action- right after elevensies,” declares Erasmuz. The party eats, and then begins to go towards the ruins wherein they will find their books. Erasmuz offers to [i]wind walk[/i] the party, then changes his mind. Then he changes his mind again, and offers to cast the spell, only to change his mind again. Our heroes walk. They spend a night on the road, and Erasmuz debates casting [i]wind walk[/i] yet again on the morn, but our heroes continue to walk. The weather is bad; cold rain spatters down. Most of the party receives [i]endure elements[/i] spells, and even those who don’t are kept warm enough by the exertions of their journey. Soon, following Aunty’s directions, they come to a distinctive dimple in the land, and following it down to the center they see the collapsed remains of a few buidlings. In one place, the land is rent apart and an opening leads below. Our heroes enter, and find themselves in a passage formed by a layer of dirt and rock atop the remains of an old city. They begin exploring, still doing their best to follow Aunty’s directions. As they shuffle past a set of seriously damaged double doors, Rush pauses. “I hear something.” There is a low growl from the other side of the doorway. With a yell, Rush pushes past the doorway. [i][b]Next Time:[/b][/i][b][/b] Diplacer beast pack lords! Illurien! And our heroes go back to the beginning! *The calcifying aura slowly turns you to stone as it does con damage to you. [/QUOTE]
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