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<blockquote data-quote="Indigo Veil" data-source="post: 4523352" data-attributes="member: 9361"><p>Nice. The site is very cleanly done, and I enjoy the artwork as a nice visual break. I agree with Minotaur--I enjoyed the writing style of Chapter 2 more than I did Chapter 1. There's a nice balance between action exposition and dialogue, and there's enough dialogue to let the reader get a sense of the characters' personalities. I also like that the chapters are in nicely digestible chunks, so the reader doesn't feel like s/he's investing an unreasonable amount of time into each reading. </p><p></p><p>What's with Prelude reading like it's a mental note to yourself? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> It might be nice to have some character background there for the reader to get familiar with the characters before they meet up with the rest of the party--their day-to-day lives, their hopes, etc. as a reference point to measure their progress against as they advance through the story you're putting them through.</p><p></p><p>Overall, nicely done.</p><p></p><p>Just my two cents. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Indigo Veil, post: 4523352, member: 9361"] Nice. The site is very cleanly done, and I enjoy the artwork as a nice visual break. I agree with Minotaur--I enjoyed the writing style of Chapter 2 more than I did Chapter 1. There's a nice balance between action exposition and dialogue, and there's enough dialogue to let the reader get a sense of the characters' personalities. I also like that the chapters are in nicely digestible chunks, so the reader doesn't feel like s/he's investing an unreasonable amount of time into each reading. What's with Prelude reading like it's a mental note to yourself? ;) It might be nice to have some character background there for the reader to get familiar with the characters before they meet up with the rest of the party--their day-to-day lives, their hopes, etc. as a reference point to measure their progress against as they advance through the story you're putting them through. Overall, nicely done. Just my two cents. :) [/QUOTE]
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