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<blockquote data-quote="Crothian" data-source="post: 2818817" data-attributes="member: 232"><p>It's perferred that you never played before. People that have played suffer from the illusion they know what the game is. Being new the only delusions you'll have are the normal ones you carry around in every day life. </p><p></p><p><strong> Team Leader </strong></p><p></p><p>Congratulations, citizen! Because of your unique abilities you’ve been selected to serve as team leader. This is a vital assignment, and your selection demonstrates The Computer’s exceptional faith in you.</p><p>As team leader you must coordinate the efforts of your fellow Troubleshooters, using their diverse talents and skills to successfully complete your mission assignment. To this end, The Computer has provided you with all necessary equipment. However, if you feel The Computer may have overlooked some of your needs, please don’t hesitate to point this out.</p><p>At times your team may engage in combat with evil Commie mutant traitors. In such situations your superior tactical knowledge will determine the outcome of the battle. Deploy your team carefully. Keep those fire lanes clear!</p><p>Your badge depicts you as the center of your team, with your expertise and knowledge radiating as inspiration to all. The Computer stands ready to assist you in these tasks. Good luck, citizen! The sensors of The Computer are upon you.</p><p></p><p><strong> Loyalty Officier </strong></p><p></p><p>Congratulations, citizen! In recognition of your exemplary service, you have been chosen as loyalty officer for this mission. This appointment shows The Computer’s special faith in you.</p><p>Your duties include watching your fellow Troubleshooters for signs of substandard zeal, recording and reporting any incidents of disloyalty and taking immediate corrective action when the opportunity arises.</p><p>You report directly to The Computer, not to your team leader. You must be ever vigilant. Any Troubleshooter can spot blatant Commie sabotage, but it is your highly trained eye The Computer relies on to see Commie plots before they hatch.</p><p>Study The 10 Early Warning Signs of Commie Traitorism. Observe the other Troubleshooters. Note which ones have substandard zeal, which ones use irregular speech patterns, which ones act— funny. You are the eyes of The Computer, ever watchful, always observant, forever with your ear to the door.</p><p>Remember, only you can prevent Commie traitorism.</p><p></p><p><strong> Hygeine Officier </strong></p><p></p><p>Congratulations, citizen! Your MBD is team hygiene officer.</p><p>This is a solemn honor. Only the most trusted servants of The Computer serve as hygiene officer.</p><p>Yours are the duties of The Scrubbing Helmet, that legendary bastion of clean corridors and well-flossed Troubleshooters. Serve his memory well!</p><p>Your responsibilities include monitoring the PHL (Personal Hygiene Level) of each team member, reporting when a Troubleshooter fails his PHT (Personal Hygiene Test), and implementing ESP (Emergency Sanitation Procedures) against any and all offenders.</p><p>To aid you, The Computer has generously provided you a PHTCMK (Personal Hygiene Test and Cleanliness Maintenance Kit) for performing PHTs and ESPs on your fellow Troubleshooters. Consult your briefing officer for instructions.</p><p>Take your duty seriously. Recent team leader post-mission reports indicate 52% of all mission disasters can be blamed on hygiene neglect by the hygiene officer. Failure to report sub-standard PHLs is treason.</p><p>Remember, ACTIAMT: A Clean Team Is A Mean Team!</p><p></p><p><strong> Comminications and Recording Officier </strong></p><p></p><p>Congratulations, citizen! Your Mandatory Bonus Duty for this mission is communications and recording officer (C&RO). Your two-fold assignment is a high honor and a sign of The Computer’s trust in you.</p><p>As communications officer, it is your job to handle the com unit. This is important, as (in the event of personal communication device malfunction) it is your team’s only link to the benevolent wisdom of The Computer. Interpret The Computer’s instructions, and relay questions and information to The Computer. Handle this duty wisely!</p><p>As recording officer, you are in charge of the all-important multicorder. Use it to record the mission in exciting detail in 156-bit color with state-of-the-art sound fidelity. Use close-ups, exotic lighting, scenes shot in infrared and in-depth interviews with suspected traitors. Missing a scene is treason. Re-stage exciting moments you may have overlooked. Your recordings may end up on the evening vidshows for all Alpha Complex to see!</p><p>Take your duty seriously. Recent team leader reports indicate 61% of all mission disasters can be blamed on the C&RO’s failure to keep an accurate mission record.</p><p>The Computer is everywhere—but you must be everywhere else! Don’t let The Computer down!</p><p></p><p><strong> Equipment Person </strong></p><p></p><p>Congratulations, citizen! You have been selected as the bots, weapons, vehicles and sundry equipment repair and maintenance officer, colloquially known as the equipment guy. The Computer trusts you! Why else would you be responsible for every piece of assigned mission equipment?</p><p>As equipment guy, you have many responsibilities. You must regularly and punctually carry out RSIs (Random Surprise Inspections). Collect all weapons and equipment your fellow Troubleshooters carry, and check each item for signs of wear, misuse and sabotage. If you find evidence of sabotage or tampering, report it immediately to your loyalty officer or team leader or directly to The Computer. You will be soundly rewarded for your efforts.</p><p>It is also your duty to see that all R&D devices assigned to the team are tested, bots have their protective asimov circuits checked regularly and all vehicles perform as intended.</p><p>If your team comes across an Old Reckoning device, you are responsible for obtaining it and returning it to The Computer for analysis.</p><p>Finally, you serve as team driver/pilot, except on those occasions you feel it necessary to appoint someone else to this task.</p><p>Remember, if it’s not broken, fix it!</p><p></p><p><strong>Happiness Officier</strong></p><p></p><p>Congratulations, citizen! Due to your properly zealous attitude you’ve been chosen as happiness officer. This is a great honor. Only those who know the true joy of being an Alpha Complex citizen are appointed happiness officer. Your selection shows The Computer’s exceptional faith in you.</p><p>As happiness officer it’s your duty to keep team morale high and to motivate your fellow Troubleshooters with frequent pep talks, singalongs, and practical jokes.</p><p>In addition, you must constantly be on the alert for SSM (Sub-Standard Morale) among your fellow Troubleshooters. Here are some early warning signs of SSM: argumentativeness, a reluctance to volunteer, questioning the team leader, habitual frowning when you tell jokes, and a refusal to participate in group singalongs.</p><p>As happiness officer you’re authorized to give PSDs (Personality Stabilizer Drugs) to any Troubleshooter who shows signs of SSM. You’ll be given a variety of PSDs for dispensing. Failure to treat SSM is treason! Remember, laugh and the whole Complex laughs with you, cry and you fry alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Crothian, post: 2818817, member: 232"] It's perferred that you never played before. People that have played suffer from the illusion they know what the game is. Being new the only delusions you'll have are the normal ones you carry around in every day life. [b] Team Leader [/b] Congratulations, citizen! Because of your unique abilities you’ve been selected to serve as team leader. This is a vital assignment, and your selection demonstrates The Computer’s exceptional faith in you. As team leader you must coordinate the efforts of your fellow Troubleshooters, using their diverse talents and skills to successfully complete your mission assignment. To this end, The Computer has provided you with all necessary equipment. However, if you feel The Computer may have overlooked some of your needs, please don’t hesitate to point this out. At times your team may engage in combat with evil Commie mutant traitors. In such situations your superior tactical knowledge will determine the outcome of the battle. Deploy your team carefully. Keep those fire lanes clear! Your badge depicts you as the center of your team, with your expertise and knowledge radiating as inspiration to all. The Computer stands ready to assist you in these tasks. Good luck, citizen! The sensors of The Computer are upon you. [b] Loyalty Officier [/b] Congratulations, citizen! In recognition of your exemplary service, you have been chosen as loyalty officer for this mission. This appointment shows The Computer’s special faith in you. Your duties include watching your fellow Troubleshooters for signs of substandard zeal, recording and reporting any incidents of disloyalty and taking immediate corrective action when the opportunity arises. You report directly to The Computer, not to your team leader. You must be ever vigilant. Any Troubleshooter can spot blatant Commie sabotage, but it is your highly trained eye The Computer relies on to see Commie plots before they hatch. Study The 10 Early Warning Signs of Commie Traitorism. Observe the other Troubleshooters. Note which ones have substandard zeal, which ones use irregular speech patterns, which ones act— funny. You are the eyes of The Computer, ever watchful, always observant, forever with your ear to the door. Remember, only you can prevent Commie traitorism. [b] Hygeine Officier [/b] Congratulations, citizen! Your MBD is team hygiene officer. This is a solemn honor. Only the most trusted servants of The Computer serve as hygiene officer. Yours are the duties of The Scrubbing Helmet, that legendary bastion of clean corridors and well-flossed Troubleshooters. Serve his memory well! Your responsibilities include monitoring the PHL (Personal Hygiene Level) of each team member, reporting when a Troubleshooter fails his PHT (Personal Hygiene Test), and implementing ESP (Emergency Sanitation Procedures) against any and all offenders. To aid you, The Computer has generously provided you a PHTCMK (Personal Hygiene Test and Cleanliness Maintenance Kit) for performing PHTs and ESPs on your fellow Troubleshooters. Consult your briefing officer for instructions. Take your duty seriously. Recent team leader post-mission reports indicate 52% of all mission disasters can be blamed on hygiene neglect by the hygiene officer. Failure to report sub-standard PHLs is treason. Remember, ACTIAMT: A Clean Team Is A Mean Team! [b] Comminications and Recording Officier [/b] Congratulations, citizen! Your Mandatory Bonus Duty for this mission is communications and recording officer (C&RO). Your two-fold assignment is a high honor and a sign of The Computer’s trust in you. As communications officer, it is your job to handle the com unit. This is important, as (in the event of personal communication device malfunction) it is your team’s only link to the benevolent wisdom of The Computer. Interpret The Computer’s instructions, and relay questions and information to The Computer. Handle this duty wisely! As recording officer, you are in charge of the all-important multicorder. Use it to record the mission in exciting detail in 156-bit color with state-of-the-art sound fidelity. Use close-ups, exotic lighting, scenes shot in infrared and in-depth interviews with suspected traitors. Missing a scene is treason. Re-stage exciting moments you may have overlooked. Your recordings may end up on the evening vidshows for all Alpha Complex to see! Take your duty seriously. Recent team leader reports indicate 61% of all mission disasters can be blamed on the C&RO’s failure to keep an accurate mission record. The Computer is everywhere—but you must be everywhere else! Don’t let The Computer down! [b] Equipment Person [/b] Congratulations, citizen! You have been selected as the bots, weapons, vehicles and sundry equipment repair and maintenance officer, colloquially known as the equipment guy. The Computer trusts you! Why else would you be responsible for every piece of assigned mission equipment? As equipment guy, you have many responsibilities. You must regularly and punctually carry out RSIs (Random Surprise Inspections). Collect all weapons and equipment your fellow Troubleshooters carry, and check each item for signs of wear, misuse and sabotage. If you find evidence of sabotage or tampering, report it immediately to your loyalty officer or team leader or directly to The Computer. You will be soundly rewarded for your efforts. It is also your duty to see that all R&D devices assigned to the team are tested, bots have their protective asimov circuits checked regularly and all vehicles perform as intended. If your team comes across an Old Reckoning device, you are responsible for obtaining it and returning it to The Computer for analysis. Finally, you serve as team driver/pilot, except on those occasions you feel it necessary to appoint someone else to this task. Remember, if it’s not broken, fix it! [b]Happiness Officier[/b] Congratulations, citizen! Due to your properly zealous attitude you’ve been chosen as happiness officer. This is a great honor. Only those who know the true joy of being an Alpha Complex citizen are appointed happiness officer. Your selection shows The Computer’s exceptional faith in you. As happiness officer it’s your duty to keep team morale high and to motivate your fellow Troubleshooters with frequent pep talks, singalongs, and practical jokes. In addition, you must constantly be on the alert for SSM (Sub-Standard Morale) among your fellow Troubleshooters. Here are some early warning signs of SSM: argumentativeness, a reluctance to volunteer, questioning the team leader, habitual frowning when you tell jokes, and a refusal to participate in group singalongs. As happiness officer you’re authorized to give PSDs (Personality Stabilizer Drugs) to any Troubleshooter who shows signs of SSM. You’ll be given a variety of PSDs for dispensing. Failure to treat SSM is treason! Remember, laugh and the whole Complex laughs with you, cry and you fry alone. [/QUOTE]
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