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<blockquote data-quote="Henry" data-source="post: 2410856" data-attributes="member: 158"><p>Cribbed and altered from a looong time ago....</p><p></p><p><em><strong>Scene: Sunny Pines Assisted living center</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>Time: 50 years hence</strong></em></p><p></p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> All right, you old pirate, roll to hit the beholder!</p><p><strong>Piratecat (with oxygen mask on):</strong> An 18! Hot crap on a stick! *wheeze*</p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> You lucky geezer!</p><p><strong>Darkness:</strong> He's pretty hot with those dice tonight, isn't he? Look at the wild spin he gives 'em before they land! Old boy must be cheating or something! </p><p><strong>Henry:</strong> Oh, he's just been doing that ever since the palsy set in.</p><p><strong>Piratecat:</strong> All right, that's a hit with my my fal- my fal- whatever you call the thing, my Big curved sword! For <em>(rolls)</em> 11 points of damage! All right! *wheeeeeze*</p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> All right, you wounded him pretty badly - let's see - confound it, I can't read the hit-point totals - left muh bi-focals on the canasta table... </p><p><strong>Henry:</strong> That's 43 damage total, Eric.</p><p><strong>Darkness:</strong> Right. It is - <em>(checks init)</em> my action, and I want to - use a domain spell! </p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> you Forgetful Nelly, they REMOVED Domain spells in 36th edition!</p><p><strong>Darkness:</strong> *sadly* Oh. Yeah.</p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> Henry?</p><p><strong>Henry:</strong> I'm gonna call it a night, Eric. My back is acting up again, and I've actually got a date with that hottie who only has the mild bursitis! If our hips hold out, We're going to go cruising the game stores and feeding the pigeons!</p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> Oh, fine then. Piratecat, old man, it's your turn again.</p><p><strong>Piratecat:</strong> I rear up, *wheeze* I raise my Falchion, *wheeeeze*and I say... *wheeeeeeze* </p><p></p><p><strong>*thunk!!* </strong></p><p></p><p><strong>Henry:</strong> Kev, you all right?</p><p><strong>Darkness:</strong> <em>(checks for breathing)</em> Aaaand he's dead. That last dice roll must have done him in.</p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> Oh, well.... Oh, Crap! Where am I going to find a new player now to take over his character?</p><p><strong>Darkness:</strong> I hear Dinkeldog is available - as long as he changes his oxygen tank every couple of hours, he's still a spunky puppy!</p><p><strong>Eric:</strong> Great! I'll call him tomorrow! Now we got to call an orderly about Piratecat. One thing - could somebody help me pry the dice from his fingers? Those are some perfectly good dice...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Henry, post: 2410856, member: 158"] Cribbed and altered from a looong time ago.... [I][B]Scene: Sunny Pines Assisted living center Time: 50 years hence[/B][/I] [b]Eric:[/b] All right, you old pirate, roll to hit the beholder! [b]Piratecat (with oxygen mask on):[/b] An 18! Hot crap on a stick! *wheeze* [b]Eric:[/b] You lucky geezer! [b]Darkness:[/b] He's pretty hot with those dice tonight, isn't he? Look at the wild spin he gives 'em before they land! Old boy must be cheating or something! [b]Henry:[/b] Oh, he's just been doing that ever since the palsy set in. [b]Piratecat:[/b] All right, that's a hit with my my fal- my fal- whatever you call the thing, my Big curved sword! For [i](rolls)[/i] 11 points of damage! All right! *wheeeeeze* [b]Eric:[/b] All right, you wounded him pretty badly - let's see - confound it, I can't read the hit-point totals - left muh bi-focals on the canasta table... [b]Henry:[/b] That's 43 damage total, Eric. [b]Darkness:[/b] Right. It is - [i](checks init)[/i] my action, and I want to - use a domain spell! [b]Eric:[/b] you Forgetful Nelly, they REMOVED Domain spells in 36th edition! [b]Darkness:[/b] *sadly* Oh. Yeah. [b]Eric:[/b] Henry? [b]Henry:[/b] I'm gonna call it a night, Eric. My back is acting up again, and I've actually got a date with that hottie who only has the mild bursitis! If our hips hold out, We're going to go cruising the game stores and feeding the pigeons! [b]Eric:[/b] Oh, fine then. Piratecat, old man, it's your turn again. [b]Piratecat:[/b] I rear up, *wheeze* I raise my Falchion, *wheeeeze*and I say... *wheeeeeeze* [B]*thunk!!* [/B] [b]Henry:[/b] Kev, you all right? [b]Darkness:[/b] [I](checks for breathing)[/I] Aaaand he's dead. That last dice roll must have done him in. [b]Eric:[/b] Oh, well.... Oh, Crap! Where am I going to find a new player now to take over his character? [b]Darkness:[/b] I hear Dinkeldog is available - as long as he changes his oxygen tank every couple of hours, he's still a spunky puppy! [b]Eric:[/b] Great! I'll call him tomorrow! Now we got to call an orderly about Piratecat. One thing - could somebody help me pry the dice from his fingers? Those are some perfectly good dice... [/QUOTE]
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