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<blockquote data-quote="Jack Daniel" data-source="post: 6483073" data-attributes="member: 694"><p>Hey, look, a character sheet:</p><p><a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4vlo4bUQZY7ZjdIRWR0ZXZJWjQ/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4vlo4bUQZY7ZjdIRWR0ZXZJWjQ/view?usp=sharing</a></p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p><strong>The Adventure</strong></p><p>Since I hope to see as many of these abilities that I’ve just so painstakingly written up as possible actually used during the adventure, I’m going to implement a <em>very</em> fast experience table for the sake of this one-shot adventure:</p><p> </p><p><u>Level: XP Required</u></p><p>1 … 0</p><p>2 … 600</p><p>3 … 1,400</p><p>4 … 3,000</p><p>5 … 6,000</p><p>6 … 12,000</p><p>7 … 24,000</p><p>8 … 48,000</p><p>9 … 82,000</p><p>+34,000 XP per level above the 9[SUP]th[/SUP]. Yes, that seems like an esoteric figure, but trust me, there was a bunch of math and… stuff… that went into settling on this XP chart.</p><p> </p><p>XP awards! Monsters aren’t worth much, as per the usual XP-for-monsters table. But treasure! Characters get 1 XP for every 1 silver piece that they spend! That should keep ’em lean of purse and hungry for more treasure. Always a good thing.</p><p> </p><p>With respect to treasure, I make the silver piece the standard, which just shifts the coinage types by one category each. Traditionally, D&D’s coins are as follows: 1 platinum piece = 5 gold pieces (the standard) = 10 electrum pieces = 50 silver pieces = 500 copper pieces. To switch to the silver standard, I’m just relabeling the treasure table as follows: 1 gold piece = 5 silver pieces (the standard) = 10 billon (that is, silver-copper alloy) pieces = 50 copper pieces = 500 iron pieces. Platinum and electrum thus fall off the treasure table and become truly rare coinage metals, only ever found in a treasure-hoard when the DM consciously puts them there, so as to telegraph that “this treasure-hoard is really ancient and something special!”</p><p> </p><p>Okay, onto the adventure.</p><p> </p><p>It begins when the player characters wash up on a beach. Whatever their past, whatever their individual motives, they’re now shipwreck survivors, castaways on the southeastern shore of a tropical island, the <em>Isla del Loro Muerto</em>. </p><p> </p><p><strong>Map! — </strong><a href="http://imgur.com/qP2mx6v" target="_blank">http://imgur.com/qP2mx6v</a></p><p> </p><p>Somewhere on the <em>Isla del Loro Meurto</em> lies the buried treasure of the infamous Capt. Arthur “Bloodsheds” Jackson. But the treasure is locked in a safe of such fiendish contrivance that it can only be opened by one who possesses all six Skeleton Keys, hidden meticulously around the island by a weird enchantment. Each key can only be obtained by finding one of six Wooden Amulets in the dungeons underneath Fort Gersput, bringing the amulet to the proper island shrine, and then performing the correct ritual or spell. This will replace the amulet with a key. Then all six keys must be brought to Room 14 in the Temple of Keys, and there the safe can be opened to obtain the treasure.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Overworld Key to the <em>Isla del Loro Muerto</em></strong></p><p>The player characters will begin on the southeastern shore of the island, the “x” marked “shipwreck”. The island map is marked with six magic shrines (the boxed letters: W, L, I, D, S, and A); ten encounter locations (the circled numbers 1–10); the town of Slotermeyer; the old commodore’s fortress, Fort Gersput; and the final dungeon, the Temple of Keys (marked by the keyhole icon).</p><p> </p><p>The scale of the map is one-third of a mile (or one-ninth of a league) to the hexagon. Walking along a well-cleared path or following a beach, the player characters might be able to travel at a pace of nine hexes per hour; but most of the island’s interior is covered with thick jungle, which reduces this pace to about four and a half hexes per hour, or 15–20 minutes to hike through one hex. Every half hour spent hiking in the jungle carries a 1-in-12 chance of random encounters with monsters. On the southern half of the isle (that is, everywhere south of the “W” shrine), encounters are 50% likely to be with bandits or outlaws and 50% likely to be with monsters rolled on the 1st level dungeon encounter table. Everywhere north of the “W” shrine, the <em>Isla del Loro Muerto </em>goes full-blown Isle of Dread: roll random encounters off the Expert Set wilderness encounter table for jungles.</p><p> </p><p>Note that only the island’s northwest coast, the south shore around the town, and a small stretch of the southeast shore (within a few hexes of where the player characters wash up on shore) is sandy beach. Most of the rest of the island rises to a much higher elevation, a hundred feet and more above sea-level, and therefore the coastlines are actually dominated not by beaches, but by high, sheer cliffs. This is especially true of the island’s southwest shore, where the Old Fort stands; and all along the peninsula that juts out from the northeast of the island.</p><p> </p><p><strong>The Town of Slotermeyer</strong></p><p>I only had time to slap together a rough sketch for a town map, but it will suffice. An abbreviated key appears on the map itself; the locations and NPCs are described below.</p><p> </p><p><strong>Map!</strong> — <a href="http://imgur.com/bVH1Bp5" target="_blank">http://imgur.com/bVH1Bp5</a></p><p> </p><p>1. <strong>Governor’s Villa. </strong>Governor Wolfgang Tomas Gersput is the grandson of the town’s founder, Commodore Slotermeyer Nünsing Gersput. The Commodore was a fierce pirate-lord; Captain Arthur “Bloodsheds” Jackson was the best prize-taker to sail under his flag. Once the Commodore and his gang had amassed enough wealth, they decided to found their own buccaneer nation at <em>Loro Muerto</em>, and so they captured the fortress and magazine there from the Ephesian Navy and founded the town at Slotermeyer. Governor Wolfgang is an idle, easily-manipulated gentleman. While he has no compunctions about dolling out harsh buccaneer justice, he has never gotten his own hands dirty (or bloody) and would balk at the prospect of personal violence. As long as tribute (the town’s form of local taxes) keeps flowing into the Governor’s coffers, he’s contented and comfortable to let things go on as they do.</p><p> </p><p>2. <strong>Home of Professor Graham. </strong>Professor Nicholas Graham is a druid who lives in a spooky three-story house on the north edge of town. He was dispatched to this island by the White Order years ago, to keep an eye on things and make sure that the treasure of “Bloodsheds” Jackson only falls into worthy hands. To that end, if the player characters seem good and heroic, Graham will help them with healing and knowledge. If they come off as greedy or villainous, he will seek to mislead them and refuse to help them with magic.</p><p> </p><p>3. <strong>The Hall of the Brotherhood </strong>is basically a guild-hall for pirates. Anyone seeking work under a buccaneer captain can probably find it here, but it’s a hard life and certainly no good way to book passage back to civilization—the contracts indenture a sailor to a ship for seven years!</p><p> </p><p>4. <strong>Apothecary. </strong>The town Apothecary, Dr. Aristotle Philbert, is an aged man who actually served as cabin boy on Capt. Jackson’s ship. To that end, he still has a bit of PTSD and treats all strangers with wariness and suspicion. He abhors violence; that’s why he’s become a healer. He can sell healing drafts for 25 silvers and potions for 100.</p><p> </p><p>5. <strong>Jackson Square</strong>, the town square, has a statue of the infamous Captain Bloodsheds: patch over one eye, peg-leg, hook, and macaw on his shoulder. An inscription on the statue, in the island vernacular, reads as follows: <em>Six shrines, six carvings, six keys, one path I were too wicked to follow.</em></p><p> </p><p>6. <strong>“She Sells Seashells”</strong> is a general store run by a pretty (and rather forward) widow, Mrs. Delilah Kurtz.</p><p> </p><p>7. <strong>Fisherman’s Market. </strong>There’s nothing interesting about the Fisherman’s Market except for the high incidence of young pickpockets. Tim and Mungo, two sneaky and lazy gnomes who all but run thievery in Slotermeyer, tend to be found loitering around here.</p><p> </p><p>8. <strong>The Quay</strong> always has numerous boats in harbor at all times of year. Most are buccaneer vessels, well-guarded.</p><p> </p><p>9. <strong>“Jolly” Jack’s Alehouse</strong> is the center of culture in Slotermeyer. Jack Johansen, the barkeep, is portly and good-natured, but also vicious in a fight (and he relishes a brawl, even if it damages his alehouse). Also found here are Ella Flameblade, an elvish songstress and wandering bard (Exp3), and Gerwyn of Bǽlgode, a warrior-maiden in the service of the noble Athelingas house who would relish the chance to join in a treasure-hunt (Ftr2).</p><p> </p><p>10. <strong>The Naiad’s Grotto</strong> is the local brothel, run by a stern madam named Lola Ratzberger.</p><p> </p><p>11. <strong>The Loose Noose Inn</strong> is a place to get a comfortable bed, reasonably safe from muggers and other unsavory types. The owner and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Eau-St.-Claire, hire muscle to keep the place free of riffraff. </p><p> </p><p>12. <strong>The Shipwrights’ Offices</strong> and Canvassers’ Guild is mostly just a dull building full of papers and ledgers. A few secretaries and a guildmaster run the place day-to-day.</p><p> </p><p>13. <strong>The <em>Aces Full</em></strong> is the ship of Captain Richard “Deadeye” Dunharrow. The captain is a crack shot with any kind of gun, from pistol to cannon. While his crew is on shore-leave, some of them have disappeared into the jungle to meet up with old friends who are now part of bandit gangs. The captain doesn’t like this very much, but tolerates it. Player characters should beware, lest they get press-ganged into replacing the missing crewmen!</p><p> </p><p>14. <strong>Wagner’s Winecasks</strong> is run by the town cooper, Gerhart Wagner, a serious and wiry middle-aged man.</p><p> </p><p>15. <strong>The Tradepost</strong> is operated by “Gentleman Jingles” Geoffreys, a pirate-turned-merchant who thinks everything of displaying wealth and status (he’s always covered by cheap trinkets, chains, and jewels). He can sell just about anything to anyone, and he knows it. His store is well stocked, but he charges a premium for rare items.</p><p> </p><p>16. <strong>Elowen’s Sawmill</strong> is the center of carpentry and lumbering for Slotermeyer. Elowen is a quiet, reserved woman who always seems on edge, as if she’s keeping a secret or hiding from someone.</p><p> </p><p>17. <strong>The Shipyards </strong>are always busy with workers, at least during daylight hours. At night? Who knows…</p><p> </p><p>18. <strong>The cove</strong> is a prime spot for crabs and clams, and young scamps who aren’t pickpockets are often found here digging for seafood to sell at the market.</p><p> </p><p>19–20. <strong>The west lighthouse</strong> is tended by an old man named Tobin; <strong>the east lighthouse</strong> by his wife, Mistral. Tobin and Mistral are in the middle of an argument right now and not speaking to each other. After a few days pass, they’ll be back to flashing coded messages to each other at night.</p><p> </p><p>21. <strong>The Longshoreman’s Lodge</strong> is a cheap inn for sailors and workers, mostly just a big common room filled with double-bunks. The owner, Winston Weston, is a retired Ephesian Navy lieutenant (dark black skin, bald head, handlebar moustache). He doesn’t see to any security within the lodge, so sleep here at your own risk.</p><p> </p><p>22. <strong>Olafsens’ Ironworks</strong> is the town smithy, run by Bjorn Olafsen and his daughter Thora. Thora is human like her father, but her late mother Zurra was a dwarf.</p><p> </p><p>23. <strong>The Vander Waldingham</strong> <strong>House</strong> is the second-largest manor in the area, after the governor’s own villa. A many-roomed mansion, it’s owned by an old bachelor, Hans Vander Waldingham, who fancies himself the town’s preeminent citizen. He will often finance public works and other charitable ventures, all to glorify his own image. But he has no heir, and would very much like to marry the governor’s adopted ward, Rosa-Marie Randolf (an orphan whose parents were both lost at sea when a buccaneer ship was sunk by the Navy). Rosa-Marie is a mercenary little thing who is intentionally leading Hans on because she enjoys making him jealous; but she also knows that she has no better prospects in town when it comes to having a wealthy and comfortable future.</p><p> </p><p><strong>The Old Fort</strong></p><p>This is the location of the biggest dungeon on the island. I opted to put “Dyson’s Delve” here—it’s a wonderful little dungeon, definitely check it out if you get the chance; and who doesn’t love Dyson’s maps? </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, the purpose of this dungeon is twofold: it’s a place for the player characters to explore, fight monsters, and acquire treasure, thereby leveling up. Second, it’s where I’ve hidden each of the six Wooden Amulets which must be brought to the shrines on the overworld in order to obtain the Skeleton Keys. I placed the amulets in largely random locations within Dyson’s Delve, but I made sure to spread them out over all the dungeon levels, and to put them in largish treasure-hoards which were not concealed behind secret doors.</p><p> </p><p>Each amulet is a wooden carving, around six inches in length, somewhere bearing the stamp of Capt. “Bloodsheds” Jackson: a skull and crossbones, beneath which is a piercing stiletto and two drops of blood falling from the blade. The six amulets take the form of (1) a disembodied foot, like that which ends the opening animation sequence of every <em>Monty Python </em>episode; (2) a larch-tree; (3) a set of Spanish-language question-marks, i.e. “¿ ?”, on a circular medallion; (4) a carving of a hedgehog with the name “Spiny Norman” inscribed on the belly; (5) a wooden replica of a tin of Spam, but labeled in Spanish: “El Spamón”; and (6) a wooden carving of a coconut still bearing its husk. The amulets are enchanted and radiate magic if scanned with an appropriate spell; they are also very difficult to destroy, and all but impossible to dispel.</p><p> </p><p><strong>The Six Island Shrines</strong></p><p>This is where the jokes get blatant, folks. These six shrines for the most part resemble stone statues looking down over altars, in the middle of clearings in the jungle. All of the statues have an inscription of some sort, in the Island Vernacular (which is a corrupted form of Imperial Ephesian—dictionaries of this language can be found in the possession of Prof. Graham, Gov. Gersput, and Badger the Hermit).</p><p> </p><p>[W.] <strong>The Shrine of Silly Walks.</strong> A statue of an island native, balanced precariously on one leg (he seems to be in the middle of some wild dance), stands before a low stone altar with an inscription that says, “With work, it could be something.” Placing the amulet of the disembodied foot on the altar and performing some kind of silly walk before the statue will cause the amulet to be transformed into a small iron key.</p><p> </p><p>[L.] <strong>The Shrine of the Lumberjack. </strong> A statue of a manly, musclebound woodcutter wearing some of the most elaborate high-heeled footwear imaginable. The altar inscription says simply, “Bene sum,” i.e. “I am well.” A player character must stand before the altar wearing clothes appropriate to the opposite sex in order to change the amulet, a little wooden carving of a larch tree, into a tin skeleton key. (<em>Note: </em>this shrine is somewhat difficult to access, since it sits on a stony bank overlooking a rapid river that rushes down the mountainside. One would have to either swing to it from vines that hang over the river, or ride a fallen log down the rapids and steer it to the stony bank where the shrine stands.)</p><p> </p><p>[I.] <strong>The Shrine of the Spanish Inquisition.</strong> This shrine is more elaborate than the others: the jungle trees and vines have been woven into a vault-like ceiling resembling the interior of a cathedral. A statue of three robed priests stands above the altar, one with his hand raised in imperious benediction. The altar inscription reads, “Nobody expects us.” Placing the amulet (a round medallion bearing Spanish question marks, i.e. “¿ ?”) on the altar and reciting a list of any three or four items will transform the amulet into a zinc key.</p><p> </p><p>[D.] <strong>The Shrine of the Piranha Brothers</strong>, Doug and Dinsdale. The island where this shrine can be found is swarming with dire fauna: giant badgers, weasels, hedgehogs, and porcupines. A wooden carving of a hedgehog named “Spiny Norman” is the proper shrine offering here. The shrine itself is a statue of two rough-looking thugs and their pet tiger; one is petting the tiger and the other holds up a large carpenter’s hammer. An inscription reads, “Head to the floor.” One must kowtow before the Piranha Brothers, say something sarcastic or ironic, and then place Spiny Norman on the altar to change it into a copper key.</p><p> </p><p>[S.] <strong>The Shrine of Spam, Spam, Spam…</strong> This elaborate shrine shows a bedraggled kitchen-wench holding a frying pan, while four rowdy Vikings flank her, cheering and celebrating. The inscription under the statue of the woman says, “I don’t like it.” The shrine offering here is a wooden carving of a meat-tin labeled “El Spamón”; place it on the altar and sing, “<em>Spam, Spam, Spam…</em>” to a hearty tune to change it into a silver key.</p><p> </p><p>[A.] <strong>The Shrine of Arthur, </strong>King of the Britons. The statue here is obviously King Arthur, holding Excalibur aloft, while Sir Bedivere and Sir Lancelot look on in awe. The wooden carving of a coconut must be placed on the shrine, while two halves of a real coconut are clopped together during a frank discussion about something mundane like swallows and flight-speeds. This will change the carving into a golden key. Note that the rocks and little islets in this region are very dangerous: there are koprus in these waters.</p><p></p><p>(cont'd...)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jack Daniel, post: 6483073, member: 694"] Hey, look, a character sheet: [URL]https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4vlo4bUQZY7ZjdIRWR0ZXZJWjQ/view?usp=sharing[/URL] … [B]The Adventure[/B] Since I hope to see as many of these abilities that I’ve just so painstakingly written up as possible actually used during the adventure, I’m going to implement a [I]very[/I] fast experience table for the sake of this one-shot adventure: [U]Level: XP Required[/U] 1 … 0 2 … 600 3 … 1,400 4 … 3,000 5 … 6,000 6 … 12,000 7 … 24,000 8 … 48,000 9 … 82,000 +34,000 XP per level above the 9[SUP]th[/SUP]. Yes, that seems like an esoteric figure, but trust me, there was a bunch of math and… stuff… that went into settling on this XP chart. XP awards! Monsters aren’t worth much, as per the usual XP-for-monsters table. But treasure! Characters get 1 XP for every 1 silver piece that they spend! That should keep ’em lean of purse and hungry for more treasure. Always a good thing. With respect to treasure, I make the silver piece the standard, which just shifts the coinage types by one category each. Traditionally, D&D’s coins are as follows: 1 platinum piece = 5 gold pieces (the standard) = 10 electrum pieces = 50 silver pieces = 500 copper pieces. To switch to the silver standard, I’m just relabeling the treasure table as follows: 1 gold piece = 5 silver pieces (the standard) = 10 billon (that is, silver-copper alloy) pieces = 50 copper pieces = 500 iron pieces. Platinum and electrum thus fall off the treasure table and become truly rare coinage metals, only ever found in a treasure-hoard when the DM consciously puts them there, so as to telegraph that “this treasure-hoard is really ancient and something special!” Okay, onto the adventure. It begins when the player characters wash up on a beach. Whatever their past, whatever their individual motives, they’re now shipwreck survivors, castaways on the southeastern shore of a tropical island, the [I]Isla del Loro Muerto[/I]. [B]Map! — [/B][URL]http://imgur.com/qP2mx6v[/URL] Somewhere on the [I]Isla del Loro Meurto[/I] lies the buried treasure of the infamous Capt. Arthur “Bloodsheds” Jackson. But the treasure is locked in a safe of such fiendish contrivance that it can only be opened by one who possesses all six Skeleton Keys, hidden meticulously around the island by a weird enchantment. Each key can only be obtained by finding one of six Wooden Amulets in the dungeons underneath Fort Gersput, bringing the amulet to the proper island shrine, and then performing the correct ritual or spell. This will replace the amulet with a key. Then all six keys must be brought to Room 14 in the Temple of Keys, and there the safe can be opened to obtain the treasure. [B]Overworld Key to the [I]Isla del Loro Muerto[/I][/B] The player characters will begin on the southeastern shore of the island, the “x” marked “shipwreck”. The island map is marked with six magic shrines (the boxed letters: W, L, I, D, S, and A); ten encounter locations (the circled numbers 1–10); the town of Slotermeyer; the old commodore’s fortress, Fort Gersput; and the final dungeon, the Temple of Keys (marked by the keyhole icon). The scale of the map is one-third of a mile (or one-ninth of a league) to the hexagon. Walking along a well-cleared path or following a beach, the player characters might be able to travel at a pace of nine hexes per hour; but most of the island’s interior is covered with thick jungle, which reduces this pace to about four and a half hexes per hour, or 15–20 minutes to hike through one hex. Every half hour spent hiking in the jungle carries a 1-in-12 chance of random encounters with monsters. On the southern half of the isle (that is, everywhere south of the “W” shrine), encounters are 50% likely to be with bandits or outlaws and 50% likely to be with monsters rolled on the 1st level dungeon encounter table. Everywhere north of the “W” shrine, the [I]Isla del Loro Muerto [/I]goes full-blown Isle of Dread: roll random encounters off the Expert Set wilderness encounter table for jungles. Note that only the island’s northwest coast, the south shore around the town, and a small stretch of the southeast shore (within a few hexes of where the player characters wash up on shore) is sandy beach. Most of the rest of the island rises to a much higher elevation, a hundred feet and more above sea-level, and therefore the coastlines are actually dominated not by beaches, but by high, sheer cliffs. This is especially true of the island’s southwest shore, where the Old Fort stands; and all along the peninsula that juts out from the northeast of the island. [B]The Town of Slotermeyer[/B] I only had time to slap together a rough sketch for a town map, but it will suffice. An abbreviated key appears on the map itself; the locations and NPCs are described below. [B]Map![/B] — [URL]http://imgur.com/bVH1Bp5[/URL] 1. [B]Governor’s Villa. [/B]Governor Wolfgang Tomas Gersput is the grandson of the town’s founder, Commodore Slotermeyer Nünsing Gersput. The Commodore was a fierce pirate-lord; Captain Arthur “Bloodsheds” Jackson was the best prize-taker to sail under his flag. Once the Commodore and his gang had amassed enough wealth, they decided to found their own buccaneer nation at [I]Loro Muerto[/I], and so they captured the fortress and magazine there from the Ephesian Navy and founded the town at Slotermeyer. Governor Wolfgang is an idle, easily-manipulated gentleman. While he has no compunctions about dolling out harsh buccaneer justice, he has never gotten his own hands dirty (or bloody) and would balk at the prospect of personal violence. As long as tribute (the town’s form of local taxes) keeps flowing into the Governor’s coffers, he’s contented and comfortable to let things go on as they do. 2. [B]Home of Professor Graham. [/B]Professor Nicholas Graham is a druid who lives in a spooky three-story house on the north edge of town. He was dispatched to this island by the White Order years ago, to keep an eye on things and make sure that the treasure of “Bloodsheds” Jackson only falls into worthy hands. To that end, if the player characters seem good and heroic, Graham will help them with healing and knowledge. If they come off as greedy or villainous, he will seek to mislead them and refuse to help them with magic. 3. [B]The Hall of the Brotherhood [/B]is basically a guild-hall for pirates. Anyone seeking work under a buccaneer captain can probably find it here, but it’s a hard life and certainly no good way to book passage back to civilization—the contracts indenture a sailor to a ship for seven years! 4. [B]Apothecary. [/B]The town Apothecary, Dr. Aristotle Philbert, is an aged man who actually served as cabin boy on Capt. Jackson’s ship. To that end, he still has a bit of PTSD and treats all strangers with wariness and suspicion. He abhors violence; that’s why he’s become a healer. He can sell healing drafts for 25 silvers and potions for 100. 5. [B]Jackson Square[/B], the town square, has a statue of the infamous Captain Bloodsheds: patch over one eye, peg-leg, hook, and macaw on his shoulder. An inscription on the statue, in the island vernacular, reads as follows: [I]Six shrines, six carvings, six keys, one path I were too wicked to follow.[/I] 6. [B]“She Sells Seashells”[/B] is a general store run by a pretty (and rather forward) widow, Mrs. Delilah Kurtz. 7. [B]Fisherman’s Market. [/B]There’s nothing interesting about the Fisherman’s Market except for the high incidence of young pickpockets. Tim and Mungo, two sneaky and lazy gnomes who all but run thievery in Slotermeyer, tend to be found loitering around here. 8. [B]The Quay[/B] always has numerous boats in harbor at all times of year. Most are buccaneer vessels, well-guarded. 9. [B]“Jolly” Jack’s Alehouse[/B] is the center of culture in Slotermeyer. Jack Johansen, the barkeep, is portly and good-natured, but also vicious in a fight (and he relishes a brawl, even if it damages his alehouse). Also found here are Ella Flameblade, an elvish songstress and wandering bard (Exp3), and Gerwyn of Bǽlgode, a warrior-maiden in the service of the noble Athelingas house who would relish the chance to join in a treasure-hunt (Ftr2). 10. [B]The Naiad’s Grotto[/B] is the local brothel, run by a stern madam named Lola Ratzberger. 11. [B]The Loose Noose Inn[/B] is a place to get a comfortable bed, reasonably safe from muggers and other unsavory types. The owner and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Eau-St.-Claire, hire muscle to keep the place free of riffraff. 12. [B]The Shipwrights’ Offices[/B] and Canvassers’ Guild is mostly just a dull building full of papers and ledgers. A few secretaries and a guildmaster run the place day-to-day. 13. [B]The [I]Aces Full[/I][/B] is the ship of Captain Richard “Deadeye” Dunharrow. The captain is a crack shot with any kind of gun, from pistol to cannon. While his crew is on shore-leave, some of them have disappeared into the jungle to meet up with old friends who are now part of bandit gangs. The captain doesn’t like this very much, but tolerates it. Player characters should beware, lest they get press-ganged into replacing the missing crewmen! 14. [B]Wagner’s Winecasks[/B] is run by the town cooper, Gerhart Wagner, a serious and wiry middle-aged man. 15. [B]The Tradepost[/B] is operated by “Gentleman Jingles” Geoffreys, a pirate-turned-merchant who thinks everything of displaying wealth and status (he’s always covered by cheap trinkets, chains, and jewels). He can sell just about anything to anyone, and he knows it. His store is well stocked, but he charges a premium for rare items. 16. [B]Elowen’s Sawmill[/B] is the center of carpentry and lumbering for Slotermeyer. Elowen is a quiet, reserved woman who always seems on edge, as if she’s keeping a secret or hiding from someone. 17. [B]The Shipyards [/B]are always busy with workers, at least during daylight hours. At night? Who knows… 18. [B]The cove[/B] is a prime spot for crabs and clams, and young scamps who aren’t pickpockets are often found here digging for seafood to sell at the market. 19–20. [B]The west lighthouse[/B] is tended by an old man named Tobin; [B]the east lighthouse[/B] by his wife, Mistral. Tobin and Mistral are in the middle of an argument right now and not speaking to each other. After a few days pass, they’ll be back to flashing coded messages to each other at night. 21. [B]The Longshoreman’s Lodge[/B] is a cheap inn for sailors and workers, mostly just a big common room filled with double-bunks. The owner, Winston Weston, is a retired Ephesian Navy lieutenant (dark black skin, bald head, handlebar moustache). He doesn’t see to any security within the lodge, so sleep here at your own risk. 22. [B]Olafsens’ Ironworks[/B] is the town smithy, run by Bjorn Olafsen and his daughter Thora. Thora is human like her father, but her late mother Zurra was a dwarf. 23. [B]The Vander Waldingham[/B] [B]House[/B] is the second-largest manor in the area, after the governor’s own villa. A many-roomed mansion, it’s owned by an old bachelor, Hans Vander Waldingham, who fancies himself the town’s preeminent citizen. He will often finance public works and other charitable ventures, all to glorify his own image. But he has no heir, and would very much like to marry the governor’s adopted ward, Rosa-Marie Randolf (an orphan whose parents were both lost at sea when a buccaneer ship was sunk by the Navy). Rosa-Marie is a mercenary little thing who is intentionally leading Hans on because she enjoys making him jealous; but she also knows that she has no better prospects in town when it comes to having a wealthy and comfortable future. [B]The Old Fort[/B] This is the location of the biggest dungeon on the island. I opted to put “Dyson’s Delve” here—it’s a wonderful little dungeon, definitely check it out if you get the chance; and who doesn’t love Dyson’s maps? Anyway, the purpose of this dungeon is twofold: it’s a place for the player characters to explore, fight monsters, and acquire treasure, thereby leveling up. Second, it’s where I’ve hidden each of the six Wooden Amulets which must be brought to the shrines on the overworld in order to obtain the Skeleton Keys. I placed the amulets in largely random locations within Dyson’s Delve, but I made sure to spread them out over all the dungeon levels, and to put them in largish treasure-hoards which were not concealed behind secret doors. Each amulet is a wooden carving, around six inches in length, somewhere bearing the stamp of Capt. “Bloodsheds” Jackson: a skull and crossbones, beneath which is a piercing stiletto and two drops of blood falling from the blade. The six amulets take the form of (1) a disembodied foot, like that which ends the opening animation sequence of every [I]Monty Python [/I]episode; (2) a larch-tree; (3) a set of Spanish-language question-marks, i.e. “¿ ?”, on a circular medallion; (4) a carving of a hedgehog with the name “Spiny Norman” inscribed on the belly; (5) a wooden replica of a tin of Spam, but labeled in Spanish: “El Spamón”; and (6) a wooden carving of a coconut still bearing its husk. The amulets are enchanted and radiate magic if scanned with an appropriate spell; they are also very difficult to destroy, and all but impossible to dispel. [B]The Six Island Shrines[/B] This is where the jokes get blatant, folks. These six shrines for the most part resemble stone statues looking down over altars, in the middle of clearings in the jungle. All of the statues have an inscription of some sort, in the Island Vernacular (which is a corrupted form of Imperial Ephesian—dictionaries of this language can be found in the possession of Prof. Graham, Gov. Gersput, and Badger the Hermit). [W.] [B]The Shrine of Silly Walks.[/B] A statue of an island native, balanced precariously on one leg (he seems to be in the middle of some wild dance), stands before a low stone altar with an inscription that says, “With work, it could be something.” Placing the amulet of the disembodied foot on the altar and performing some kind of silly walk before the statue will cause the amulet to be transformed into a small iron key. [L.] [B]The Shrine of the Lumberjack. [/B] A statue of a manly, musclebound woodcutter wearing some of the most elaborate high-heeled footwear imaginable. The altar inscription says simply, “Bene sum,” i.e. “I am well.” A player character must stand before the altar wearing clothes appropriate to the opposite sex in order to change the amulet, a little wooden carving of a larch tree, into a tin skeleton key. ([I]Note: [/I]this shrine is somewhat difficult to access, since it sits on a stony bank overlooking a rapid river that rushes down the mountainside. One would have to either swing to it from vines that hang over the river, or ride a fallen log down the rapids and steer it to the stony bank where the shrine stands.) [I.] [B]The Shrine of the Spanish Inquisition.[/B] This shrine is more elaborate than the others: the jungle trees and vines have been woven into a vault-like ceiling resembling the interior of a cathedral. A statue of three robed priests stands above the altar, one with his hand raised in imperious benediction. The altar inscription reads, “Nobody expects us.” Placing the amulet (a round medallion bearing Spanish question marks, i.e. “¿ ?”) on the altar and reciting a list of any three or four items will transform the amulet into a zinc key. [D.] [B]The Shrine of the Piranha Brothers[/B], Doug and Dinsdale. The island where this shrine can be found is swarming with dire fauna: giant badgers, weasels, hedgehogs, and porcupines. A wooden carving of a hedgehog named “Spiny Norman” is the proper shrine offering here. The shrine itself is a statue of two rough-looking thugs and their pet tiger; one is petting the tiger and the other holds up a large carpenter’s hammer. An inscription reads, “Head to the floor.” One must kowtow before the Piranha Brothers, say something sarcastic or ironic, and then place Spiny Norman on the altar to change it into a copper key. [S.] [B]The Shrine of Spam, Spam, Spam…[/B] This elaborate shrine shows a bedraggled kitchen-wench holding a frying pan, while four rowdy Vikings flank her, cheering and celebrating. The inscription under the statue of the woman says, “I don’t like it.” The shrine offering here is a wooden carving of a meat-tin labeled “El Spamón”; place it on the altar and sing, “[I]Spam, Spam, Spam…[/I]” to a hearty tune to change it into a silver key. [A.] [B]The Shrine of Arthur, [/B]King of the Britons. The statue here is obviously King Arthur, holding Excalibur aloft, while Sir Bedivere and Sir Lancelot look on in awe. The wooden carving of a coconut must be placed on the shrine, while two halves of a real coconut are clopped together during a frank discussion about something mundane like swallows and flight-speeds. This will change the carving into a golden key. Note that the rocks and little islets in this region are very dangerous: there are koprus in these waters. (cont'd...) [/QUOTE]
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