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Suggestion - Deep in the eastern jungles: There be Catfolk!
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<blockquote data-quote="Satin Knights" data-source="post: 6076779" data-attributes="member: 6666968"><p>Okay, I have a few problems too with this proposal.</p><p>a) We already have grippi and nagaji integrated in society. The nagaji are just a conquered slave race at the moment, but still have their place and culture to the south.</p><p>b) to paraphrase, "I am going to throw all these races in at once, but I am of the ruling race". The first part is just clutter. The second <em>looks like</em> power mongering.</p><p>c) Palace of gold? After the first flyby by a dragon, well, it wouldn't be pretty. The following week, it would be a ziggurat owned by a dragon with many slaves of all different fuzzy races. In other words, the fuzzy races don't have the power to be a "dominant" race that shows off in that fashion. </p><p></p><p>Now for your character:</p><p>Rewrite it. Replace the picture. Rewrite it like you are playing with your sister's eight year old daughter at the table. I am not a prude. I've worked for decades in industries I cannot name here. But, even I was going, "No, just no. Not here." LPF is a PG environment and you have to assume children are reading the stories and playing. Your first draft of Valicia has a place, but definitely elsewhere on the 'Net. After that is done, I will work with you on the mechanical mistakes of the synthesist.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I like the idea of catfolk. Actually, I am half-way playing one (<a href="http://livingpf.wikia.com/wiki/Tasanto_Nysys_%28Satin_Knights%29" target="_blank">Tasanto</a>) right now in essence. But he is just a synthesist. Reading up on the <a href="http://www.enworld.org/forum/showthread.php?332440-Proposal-The-Kokilen-Shire-%28Hidden-Valley-of-the-Kami%29" target="_blank">Valley of the Kami</a>, it didn't get far. But it did hammer out a place and a size a bit. Now, go back to what you wrote in the first two posts, and scale them down. Pick two races, maybe three that are living together in harmony in a jungle mountain range. Secretive and skittish is a far better reason for them to be a rare race that has developed on their own than a "grand wall hiding a massive force".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Satin Knights, post: 6076779, member: 6666968"] Okay, I have a few problems too with this proposal. a) We already have grippi and nagaji integrated in society. The nagaji are just a conquered slave race at the moment, but still have their place and culture to the south. b) to paraphrase, "I am going to throw all these races in at once, but I am of the ruling race". The first part is just clutter. The second [I]looks like[/I] power mongering. c) Palace of gold? After the first flyby by a dragon, well, it wouldn't be pretty. The following week, it would be a ziggurat owned by a dragon with many slaves of all different fuzzy races. In other words, the fuzzy races don't have the power to be a "dominant" race that shows off in that fashion. Now for your character: Rewrite it. Replace the picture. Rewrite it like you are playing with your sister's eight year old daughter at the table. I am not a prude. I've worked for decades in industries I cannot name here. But, even I was going, "No, just no. Not here." LPF is a PG environment and you have to assume children are reading the stories and playing. Your first draft of Valicia has a place, but definitely elsewhere on the 'Net. After that is done, I will work with you on the mechanical mistakes of the synthesist. I like the idea of catfolk. Actually, I am half-way playing one ([URL="http://livingpf.wikia.com/wiki/Tasanto_Nysys_%28Satin_Knights%29"]Tasanto[/URL]) right now in essence. But he is just a synthesist. Reading up on the [URL="http://www.enworld.org/forum/showthread.php?332440-Proposal-The-Kokilen-Shire-%28Hidden-Valley-of-the-Kami%29"]Valley of the Kami[/URL], it didn't get far. But it did hammer out a place and a size a bit. Now, go back to what you wrote in the first two posts, and scale them down. Pick two races, maybe three that are living together in harmony in a jungle mountain range. Secretive and skittish is a far better reason for them to be a rare race that has developed on their own than a "grand wall hiding a massive force". [/QUOTE]
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Suggestion - Deep in the eastern jungles: There be Catfolk!
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