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Tales From The Awning Pothole
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<blockquote data-quote="BoldItalic" data-source="post: 7179088" data-attributes="member: 6777052"><p><strong>< Johnny, ClaW and Ha! ></strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: #008080">... approaching down the tunnel towards them came his very own familiar. It was ...</span></p><p></p><p><span style="color: blue">... an elderly wizard with a knobbly staff, a pointy hat, a long beard and an absent-minded expression. At first he seemed to be a tall man a very long way off but as he got nearer it became apparent that perspective was playing tricks and he was actually only seven inches high in his boots, even when he was up close. He spoke in a shrill, piping voice. "You aren't going to believe this," he began, "But I left all my spell books in the library and they don't open again until Monday morning. Silly, isn't it? I'm Mike, by the way, short for Micromanage. I can do <em>Find Shelf</em> and <em>Lift Paper</em>, if that's any good?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">ClaW wasn't sure this was how familiars were supposed to be, but he put it down to his own inexperience with the spell. After all, if a lobster can be a human's familiar, as he had been Tippy's, why not the other way around? It made sense, in a weird sort of way.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Johnny wasn't terribly interested in seven-inch wizards. He was itching for a fight with someone his own size. Or preferably larger, to make it fair. He kicked open a door and entered a large square chamber with stone pillars holding up a vaulted roof. In the middle was an altar on a raised platform, with four griffons guarding it. This was more like it. If something was worth guarding it was worth plundering and if it was worth plundering it was worth fighting over.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Johnny flourished his khopesh, his hobgoblins flourished their ... hobs, the utterwolves slathered convincingly, ClaW flourished his skeletons and battle was joined. Now, it could have turned into a slogging match because there were a lot of hit points in the room and attacks only do so much damage at a time and if you do the arithmetic it takes about 7 rounds to grind things down unless people do interesting things like swinging from the chandeliers with repeating crossbows and there weren't any chandeliers and no-one had any crossbows. So we'll fast forward to the point where Johnny is down to half hit points and he's used up his <em>Second Wind</em> and his <em>Action surge</em>; two griffons are down but so are two hobgoblins, one wolf and three skeletons and that actually swings the odds slightly more in the griffons' favour. Okay so far? It's time for ClaW to do something fun with his boomerang.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">ClaW sent the boomerang whickering around the chamber, past the heads of the two remaining griffons. Now griffons instinctively attack anything that flies past them, rending it with their beaks and tearing it with their talons, breaking its wings so that it crashes helplessly to the ground far below. Except, you can't kill a boomerang and it hasn't got any wings to break - you just get a beakfull of wooden splinters. Basically, griffons haven't evolved to fight boomerangs. So we have the absurd picture of two griffons flying round and round the room chasing a boomerang they can't damage while Johnny and his allies take swipes at them each time one of them flies past. It could only end one way.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">While Ha! plucked some griffon feathers to make herself a new hat, Johnny investigated the altar. Ignoring some brass candlesticks he picked up a valuable-looking gold statuette of a two-headed eagle with gemstones for its eyes. It didn't <em>seem</em> to be magical, but ... </span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p>Johnny One-Eye (Party Splitter, Human Champion Tunnel/Cage Fighter-3; magic khopesh that never misses, statuette of a double-headed eagle, 17 g.p.) <span style="color: red">Bloodied (again)</span></p><p>1 Hobgoblin Retainer Controlled by Johnny One-Eye</p><p>4 Utterwolves Utterly Faithful to Johnny One-Eye</p><p>ClaW (Lobster; Tippy's ex-familiar; Boomerang)</p><p>3 Skeleton Retainers Controlled by ClaW</p><p>Micromanage (ClaW's familiar; Miniature Human Wizard-½; Knobbly Staff, Pointy Hat)</p><p>Ha! Fling! (Hobbit of The Planes; three stones, griffon feathers, 17 g.p.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BoldItalic, post: 7179088, member: 6777052"] [b]< Johnny, ClaW and Ha! >[/b] [COLOR=#008080]... approaching down the tunnel towards them came his very own familiar. It was ...[/COLOR] [COLOR=blue]... an elderly wizard with a knobbly staff, a pointy hat, a long beard and an absent-minded expression. At first he seemed to be a tall man a very long way off but as he got nearer it became apparent that perspective was playing tricks and he was actually only seven inches high in his boots, even when he was up close. He spoke in a shrill, piping voice. "You aren't going to believe this," he began, "But I left all my spell books in the library and they don't open again until Monday morning. Silly, isn't it? I'm Mike, by the way, short for Micromanage. I can do [I]Find Shelf[/I] and [I]Lift Paper[/I], if that's any good?" ClaW wasn't sure this was how familiars were supposed to be, but he put it down to his own inexperience with the spell. After all, if a lobster can be a human's familiar, as he had been Tippy's, why not the other way around? It made sense, in a weird sort of way. Johnny wasn't terribly interested in seven-inch wizards. He was itching for a fight with someone his own size. Or preferably larger, to make it fair. He kicked open a door and entered a large square chamber with stone pillars holding up a vaulted roof. In the middle was an altar on a raised platform, with four griffons guarding it. This was more like it. If something was worth guarding it was worth plundering and if it was worth plundering it was worth fighting over. Johnny flourished his khopesh, his hobgoblins flourished their ... hobs, the utterwolves slathered convincingly, ClaW flourished his skeletons and battle was joined. Now, it could have turned into a slogging match because there were a lot of hit points in the room and attacks only do so much damage at a time and if you do the arithmetic it takes about 7 rounds to grind things down unless people do interesting things like swinging from the chandeliers with repeating crossbows and there weren't any chandeliers and no-one had any crossbows. So we'll fast forward to the point where Johnny is down to half hit points and he's used up his [I]Second Wind[/I] and his [I]Action surge[/I]; two griffons are down but so are two hobgoblins, one wolf and three skeletons and that actually swings the odds slightly more in the griffons' favour. Okay so far? It's time for ClaW to do something fun with his boomerang. ClaW sent the boomerang whickering around the chamber, past the heads of the two remaining griffons. Now griffons instinctively attack anything that flies past them, rending it with their beaks and tearing it with their talons, breaking its wings so that it crashes helplessly to the ground far below. Except, you can't kill a boomerang and it hasn't got any wings to break - you just get a beakfull of wooden splinters. Basically, griffons haven't evolved to fight boomerangs. So we have the absurd picture of two griffons flying round and round the room chasing a boomerang they can't damage while Johnny and his allies take swipes at them each time one of them flies past. It could only end one way. While Ha! plucked some griffon feathers to make herself a new hat, Johnny investigated the altar. Ignoring some brass candlesticks he picked up a valuable-looking gold statuette of a two-headed eagle with gemstones for its eyes. It didn't [I]seem[/I] to be magical, but ... [/COLOR] Johnny One-Eye (Party Splitter, Human Champion Tunnel/Cage Fighter-3; magic khopesh that never misses, statuette of a double-headed eagle, 17 g.p.) [COLOR=red]Bloodied (again)[/COLOR] 1 Hobgoblin Retainer Controlled by Johnny One-Eye 4 Utterwolves Utterly Faithful to Johnny One-Eye ClaW (Lobster; Tippy's ex-familiar; Boomerang) 3 Skeleton Retainers Controlled by ClaW Micromanage (ClaW's familiar; Miniature Human Wizard-½; Knobbly Staff, Pointy Hat) Ha! Fling! (Hobbit of The Planes; three stones, griffon feathers, 17 g.p.) [/QUOTE]
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