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Tales From The Awning Pothole
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<blockquote data-quote="BoldItalic" data-source="post: 7195608" data-attributes="member: 6777052"><p><span style="color: blue">Emerald was having a bad-hair day. Her morning coffee hadn't arrived and she was always useless until she had her first cup of coffee. It was no good even starting on the minotaur she was adding to her rock carving depicting <em>The Myths of the Middle Minoan III Period</em> and as for working on the red and white fresco behind the minotaur, well, she might as well sit on her hands and chew gravel. Oh! It was so exasperating! What was wrong with those dream-world creatures who called themselves orcs? Didn't they understand about COFFEE ? She had told the often enough. It was i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">There was a rumbling and squeaking from the tiny kitchen lift. At last! Coffeeeeee!</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">But it wasn't. It was three impossible dream-worlders. <em>Oh boy! I'm hallucinating!</em> she decided. One was some kind of stone scorpion, one was a ball of goo with eye stalks like a snail, and the other was an impossibly tiny man. Men were usually tiny, but this one was positively microscopic. Even the drug-crazed Cretans couldn't have dreamed up stuff like this bizarre trio.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Good morning, madam, I'm Mike," said the microscopic man. As a bonus action, he politely took off his pointy hat and a flock of white doves flew out.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Corny," said Emerald dismissively. "WHERE'S MY COFFEE?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Mike looked taken aback for a moment, but he reached into his hat and produced a very tiny cup of coffee. "Err ..." he began, "I suppose I could do an <em>Enlarge</em> spell on this, but you would have to drink if quickly, before it wore off?"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Useless!" screamed Emerald."Go and get my COFFFEEE !!!"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Up until now, baby Iggy had been quiet, timidly hiding behind ClaW. "Cross lady is too big," Iggy crooned. "Iggy fix." An eye-stalk flashed momentarily a few times and something amazing happened. Emerald shrank to be the same size as Mike.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"What have you done?" Emerald screamed. "I'm hallucinating! I've gone all Alice in Wonderland! My brain has gone rocky FOR LACK OF COFFEE!"</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Mike handed her the cup of coffee he had conjured up a few moments ago; she snatched it greedily and swallowed it in three gulps. Then she waited for the caffeine to work. Which it did. Sort of. Insofar as she calmed down and felt better able to face the world. But she was still tiny.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">"Thank you, Mike," she said in a much more polite voice, "I needed that. And put your hat on dear, we're in company."</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Mike meekly did so. When a gentleman with a Strength of 3 (it was his dump stat) meets a lady with a Strength of 23 (she might be tiny now, but she was still a stone giant nevertheless), there can be no doubt as to who is going to be wearing the trousers in the relationship. He had a prophetic vision of Emerald moving into his pocket dimension, changing the curtains and making him clean the saucepans. He wondered if somehow the rules about familiars didn't allow it but he wasn't too hopeful.</span></p><p><span style="color: blue"></span></p><p><span style="color: blue">Meanwhile ...</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BoldItalic, post: 7195608, member: 6777052"] [color=blue]Emerald was having a bad-hair day. Her morning coffee hadn't arrived and she was always useless until she had her first cup of coffee. It was no good even starting on the minotaur she was adding to her rock carving depicting [i]The Myths of the Middle Minoan III Period[/i] and as for working on the red and white fresco behind the minotaur, well, she might as well sit on her hands and chew gravel. Oh! It was so exasperating! What was wrong with those dream-world creatures who called themselves orcs? Didn't they understand about COFFEE ? She had told the often enough. It was i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t. There was a rumbling and squeaking from the tiny kitchen lift. At last! Coffeeeeee! But it wasn't. It was three impossible dream-worlders. [i]Oh boy! I'm hallucinating![/i] she decided. One was some kind of stone scorpion, one was a ball of goo with eye stalks like a snail, and the other was an impossibly tiny man. Men were usually tiny, but this one was positively microscopic. Even the drug-crazed Cretans couldn't have dreamed up stuff like this bizarre trio. "Good morning, madam, I'm Mike," said the microscopic man. As a bonus action, he politely took off his pointy hat and a flock of white doves flew out. "Corny," said Emerald dismissively. "WHERE'S MY COFFEE?" Mike looked taken aback for a moment, but he reached into his hat and produced a very tiny cup of coffee. "Err ..." he began, "I suppose I could do an [i]Enlarge[/i] spell on this, but you would have to drink if quickly, before it wore off?" "Useless!" screamed Emerald."Go and get my COFFFEEE !!!" Up until now, baby Iggy had been quiet, timidly hiding behind ClaW. "Cross lady is too big," Iggy crooned. "Iggy fix." An eye-stalk flashed momentarily a few times and something amazing happened. Emerald shrank to be the same size as Mike. "What have you done?" Emerald screamed. "I'm hallucinating! I've gone all Alice in Wonderland! My brain has gone rocky FOR LACK OF COFFEE!" Mike handed her the cup of coffee he had conjured up a few moments ago; she snatched it greedily and swallowed it in three gulps. Then she waited for the caffeine to work. Which it did. Sort of. Insofar as she calmed down and felt better able to face the world. But she was still tiny. "Thank you, Mike," she said in a much more polite voice, "I needed that. And put your hat on dear, we're in company." Mike meekly did so. When a gentleman with a Strength of 3 (it was his dump stat) meets a lady with a Strength of 23 (she might be tiny now, but she was still a stone giant nevertheless), there can be no doubt as to who is going to be wearing the trousers in the relationship. He had a prophetic vision of Emerald moving into his pocket dimension, changing the curtains and making him clean the saucepans. He wondered if somehow the rules about familiars didn't allow it but he wasn't too hopeful. Meanwhile ...[/color] [/QUOTE]
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