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<blockquote data-quote="Hairy Minotaur" data-source="post: 3615055" data-attributes="member: 11574"><p><strong>Say no to drugs</strong></p><p></p><p>As most of the party readied their backpacks and supplies for an extended hike up to the Majestics, Kessen waited on the steps of the Temple of Kador hoping to spot a returning Xanthos and as the day waned and nightfall crept across the city, Kessen got his wish.</p><p></p><p>Xanthos staggers inside the temple asking for a drink of water and a meal of fresh vegetables. Kessens assists him inside and seats him at the table as he calls for the rest of the party to join them.</p><p></p><p>“At first the Overlord threw me in jail, but I guess he was paranoid enough to look into the matter as he released me two days later telling me that Lord Burghondy would not longer be a threat to Highcastle. He gave me a writ of passage and planted a Blue Oak in his courtyard as requested by me as thanks for my loyalty to the crown.” Xanthos puffed out his chest</p><p></p><p>“Why a tree? Why not something useful, like a beer garden?” Menthos inquires</p><p></p><p>“Blue Oaks require lots of tending, he’ll likely have to bring in druids to make it grow, and if he does it’ll eventually grow to near two hundred feet in height and a width of one-hundred fifty feet. Ha!” Xanthos laughs</p><p></p><p>“Doopa, not find that funny. Bottom of big trees makes good toilet.” The ogre offered</p><p></p><p>“No wonder no foliage grows on the eastern side of the Cloudwalls, I thought the land was cursed, apparently it’s buried under feet of fertilizer.” Turgar states</p><p></p><p>“It keeps out your tribe.” Doopa retorted</p><p></p><p>The party explains their next move to Xanthos who agrees a more wide open space would do his health good, he lobbies for a more scenic route that takes them west to Bulwark first before heading north to Kindoras Keep. This way the party can avoid the Howling Hills and the werewolves, worgs, and dire wolves that predicate that area.</p><p></p><p>Once they are in agreement, they head out that morning with Kessen and Xanthos leading they reach the Silver Valley before nightfall and stay the night with Xanthos’ clan. Xanthos enlists Haimish to tell stories of civilization to the eager centaurs as Doopa and Turgar gets suspicious eyes and wary looks.</p><p></p><p>Morning comes and the group heads off for Bulwark, as they near Bulwark small tobacco farms spring up around the landscape along with vegetable farms. The smell of cooking tubers and pies fill the air. Xanthos explains that Bulwark is nearly all halfling now; they sell their tobacco to Highcastle as apparently it has the richest flavor. </p><p></p><p>Once in the village, Menthos heads off to find a local tobacco shop while the rest of the party are invited as guest of the mayor for a feast at his residence that night. </p><p></p><p>The small bell on the door jingles as Menthos stoops over to enter the small building. The smell of drying tobacco and other herbs fill his nostrils as Menthos begins browsing the hanging wares of the store.</p><p></p><p>“Welcome ‘O traveler, ‘Ave ye ‘eard of me store and ye’ve come to see wat all the talk was about?” A middle aged halfling puffs out between hits on his wood pipe</p><p></p><p>“I know you sell tobacco, I’m looking for something more in the way of knocking me unconscious with a good night’s sleep.” Menthos answered</p><p></p><p>“I ‘Ave just the ting!” The portly man ambles up a ladder behind the counter and retrieves a burlap sack of rustling leaves and twigs, “tis ‘ere is me specialty, I grow it only wen da nigtesade is its most deadly. It gives da stuff a good kick in the lungs it does.” The halfling advises</p><p></p><p>“Super, I’ll take the whole bag.” Menthos states</p><p></p><p>“Wa? Da wole ting? I-I-I don’t know wat to c’arge ye. I don’t tink I can sell da wole ting.” The halfling answers</p><p></p><p>Menthos dumps out a thousand pieces of gold onto the halfling’s counter.</p><p></p><p>“Sold!” The Halfling shouts</p><p></p><p>“Okay, now give me twenty pounds of the stuff you sell to Highcastle, along with enough papers to smoke it all.” Menthos replies</p><p></p><p>“O’ me stars and roots, I’ll ‘ave to close early tis year, and tats a good ting!” The Halfling beams as he readies Menthos’ purchase</p><p></p><p>“I’m heading up to Kindoras Keep tomorrow, I’d like to start selling your tobacco up there as the keep grows in size I’m thinking the multitudes of guards are going to need something to spend their wages on, catch my drift shorty.” Menthos relates</p><p></p><p>“You want me to supply you wit me tobacco to sell up tere? Wat split we talking about ‘ere devil?” The halfling shot back</p><p></p><p>“Fifty fifty, I do the leg work and you grow the stuff, I’ll sell the product and you move it up to me, deal hammy?” Menthos offered</p><p></p><p>“Tis could work, you prove to me your selling tecnique and I’ll consider it.” The halfling stated</p><p></p><p>“Sure thing, watch me sell it to that uppity woodsman over there.” Menthos said as he pointed out Kessen to the halfling through a side window</p><p></p><p>The two men shook on it and Menthos left to intercept Kessen as he headed for the mayor’s residence.</p><p></p><p>*whistles* “Hey Kessen, wait up I got something you’ve got to try.” Menthos shouted</p><p></p><p>“I don’t what nothing from you, we’ve been invited to the mayor’s house for dinner, you would’ve been too had you not run off to sodomize small woodland creatures.” Kessen laughs off Menthos</p><p></p><p>“I’m serious here, I’m trying to set up a trading venture with a shopkeeper here, but I need someone to test the product for me. My teifling senses are dulled to the taste of smoke and I need someone to tell me if this stuff is as good as he claims it is or if he’s trying to sell me leftover manure.” Menthos pleads</p><p></p><p>Kessen mulls it over for a bit, could the teifling be going legit, has getting him away from the Kadors helped his outlook on life? Kessen decided to accept Menthos’ bluff and try the tobacco.</p><p></p><p>Menthos excitedly set the burlap bag down and rolled Kessen a cigar, pulling out a tinder box, Menthos lit the rolled herbs on fire and marveled at the blue tinged smoke that last rose in the air in front of Kessen.</p><p></p><p>Kessen thanked the warlock and inhaled deeply on the cigar, coughing out the good air in his lungs and almost dropping the cigar in the process.</p><p></p><p>“Good?” Menthos asked</p><p></p><p>“Not bad, let me mull this over for you, I’ll let you know at dinner.” Kessen answered</p><p></p><p>Menthos agreed and began to count the gold in his head as he strode into the mayor’s house and sat down at Kessen’s place for dinner.</p><p></p><p>“Where’d you come from and where’s Kessen?” Xanthos demanded</p><p></p><p>“Relax goat boy, Kessen wasn’t feeling well and told me where dinner was and to go in his place. He said he’ll see us in the morning. I think he got a hold of some bad tea leaves.” Menthos advises</p><p></p><p>“Bad tea leaves? Did he buy them here?” A shocked mayor spoke up</p><p></p><p>“No sir, had them from Highcastle, I think they got a little wet in the sewer and got moldy. Nothing to worry about, let’s eat!” Menthos assured the mayor</p><p></p><p>Dinner was filling and the mayor invited the party to stay the night to which they agreed and all slept soundly. That morning as the rooster announced the sunrise, an incensed mayor bounded up his stairs shouting at the party to get up.</p><p></p><p>“What’s wrong?” Xanthos inquired</p><p></p><p>“That man, on my lawn. Remove him at once or I shall have him arrested!” The mayor shouted</p><p></p><p>Xanthos hurried to his window and peered down at a naked Kessen passed out, spread eagle, and laying face up at the sky.</p><p></p><p>“Get him up and dressed before he’s seen!” The mayor shouted</p><p></p><p>The party raced downstairs to gape in horror as a crowd had already gathered to watch Kessen water the mayor’s lawn from a prone position </p><p></p><p>The mayor screamed and howled as Xanthos and Turgar hefted the unconscious Kessen up and onto the back of Xanthos who rode out of town. Haimish bent down to collect Kessen’s clothing when a foul stench assailed his nose, “Doopa? Can you come here?” Haimish asked</p><p></p><p>The bard handed Kessen’s soiled clothing over to the ogre who placed them in a pouch around his waist. Menthos waited until everyone was preoccupied with the mayor’s lawn and then scurried off to see the shopkeeper and seal the deal.</p><p></p><p>Forming their own small angry mob, the party exits Bulwark as a profusely apologetic Kessen tries to excuse his behavior. Having forgotten how he ended up in front of the mayor’s house in the first place let alone naked. </p><p></p><p>“I guess you really were sick last night. I think you should avoid Halflings from now on, maybe you have an allergy, here have a cigar from me.” Menthos offered</p><p></p><p>“Thanks, don’t mind if I do.” Kessen answered as Menthos lit it and passed it over to the scout.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hairy Minotaur, post: 3615055, member: 11574"] [b]Say no to drugs[/b] As most of the party readied their backpacks and supplies for an extended hike up to the Majestics, Kessen waited on the steps of the Temple of Kador hoping to spot a returning Xanthos and as the day waned and nightfall crept across the city, Kessen got his wish. Xanthos staggers inside the temple asking for a drink of water and a meal of fresh vegetables. Kessens assists him inside and seats him at the table as he calls for the rest of the party to join them. “At first the Overlord threw me in jail, but I guess he was paranoid enough to look into the matter as he released me two days later telling me that Lord Burghondy would not longer be a threat to Highcastle. He gave me a writ of passage and planted a Blue Oak in his courtyard as requested by me as thanks for my loyalty to the crown.” Xanthos puffed out his chest “Why a tree? Why not something useful, like a beer garden?” Menthos inquires “Blue Oaks require lots of tending, he’ll likely have to bring in druids to make it grow, and if he does it’ll eventually grow to near two hundred feet in height and a width of one-hundred fifty feet. Ha!” Xanthos laughs “Doopa, not find that funny. Bottom of big trees makes good toilet.” The ogre offered “No wonder no foliage grows on the eastern side of the Cloudwalls, I thought the land was cursed, apparently it’s buried under feet of fertilizer.” Turgar states “It keeps out your tribe.” Doopa retorted The party explains their next move to Xanthos who agrees a more wide open space would do his health good, he lobbies for a more scenic route that takes them west to Bulwark first before heading north to Kindoras Keep. This way the party can avoid the Howling Hills and the werewolves, worgs, and dire wolves that predicate that area. Once they are in agreement, they head out that morning with Kessen and Xanthos leading they reach the Silver Valley before nightfall and stay the night with Xanthos’ clan. Xanthos enlists Haimish to tell stories of civilization to the eager centaurs as Doopa and Turgar gets suspicious eyes and wary looks. Morning comes and the group heads off for Bulwark, as they near Bulwark small tobacco farms spring up around the landscape along with vegetable farms. The smell of cooking tubers and pies fill the air. Xanthos explains that Bulwark is nearly all halfling now; they sell their tobacco to Highcastle as apparently it has the richest flavor. Once in the village, Menthos heads off to find a local tobacco shop while the rest of the party are invited as guest of the mayor for a feast at his residence that night. The small bell on the door jingles as Menthos stoops over to enter the small building. The smell of drying tobacco and other herbs fill his nostrils as Menthos begins browsing the hanging wares of the store. “Welcome ‘O traveler, ‘Ave ye ‘eard of me store and ye’ve come to see wat all the talk was about?” A middle aged halfling puffs out between hits on his wood pipe “I know you sell tobacco, I’m looking for something more in the way of knocking me unconscious with a good night’s sleep.” Menthos answered “I ‘Ave just the ting!” The portly man ambles up a ladder behind the counter and retrieves a burlap sack of rustling leaves and twigs, “tis ‘ere is me specialty, I grow it only wen da nigtesade is its most deadly. It gives da stuff a good kick in the lungs it does.” The halfling advises “Super, I’ll take the whole bag.” Menthos states “Wa? Da wole ting? I-I-I don’t know wat to c’arge ye. I don’t tink I can sell da wole ting.” The halfling answers Menthos dumps out a thousand pieces of gold onto the halfling’s counter. “Sold!” The Halfling shouts “Okay, now give me twenty pounds of the stuff you sell to Highcastle, along with enough papers to smoke it all.” Menthos replies “O’ me stars and roots, I’ll ‘ave to close early tis year, and tats a good ting!” The Halfling beams as he readies Menthos’ purchase “I’m heading up to Kindoras Keep tomorrow, I’d like to start selling your tobacco up there as the keep grows in size I’m thinking the multitudes of guards are going to need something to spend their wages on, catch my drift shorty.” Menthos relates “You want me to supply you wit me tobacco to sell up tere? Wat split we talking about ‘ere devil?” The halfling shot back “Fifty fifty, I do the leg work and you grow the stuff, I’ll sell the product and you move it up to me, deal hammy?” Menthos offered “Tis could work, you prove to me your selling tecnique and I’ll consider it.” The halfling stated “Sure thing, watch me sell it to that uppity woodsman over there.” Menthos said as he pointed out Kessen to the halfling through a side window The two men shook on it and Menthos left to intercept Kessen as he headed for the mayor’s residence. *whistles* “Hey Kessen, wait up I got something you’ve got to try.” Menthos shouted “I don’t what nothing from you, we’ve been invited to the mayor’s house for dinner, you would’ve been too had you not run off to sodomize small woodland creatures.” Kessen laughs off Menthos “I’m serious here, I’m trying to set up a trading venture with a shopkeeper here, but I need someone to test the product for me. My teifling senses are dulled to the taste of smoke and I need someone to tell me if this stuff is as good as he claims it is or if he’s trying to sell me leftover manure.” Menthos pleads Kessen mulls it over for a bit, could the teifling be going legit, has getting him away from the Kadors helped his outlook on life? Kessen decided to accept Menthos’ bluff and try the tobacco. Menthos excitedly set the burlap bag down and rolled Kessen a cigar, pulling out a tinder box, Menthos lit the rolled herbs on fire and marveled at the blue tinged smoke that last rose in the air in front of Kessen. Kessen thanked the warlock and inhaled deeply on the cigar, coughing out the good air in his lungs and almost dropping the cigar in the process. “Good?” Menthos asked “Not bad, let me mull this over for you, I’ll let you know at dinner.” Kessen answered Menthos agreed and began to count the gold in his head as he strode into the mayor’s house and sat down at Kessen’s place for dinner. “Where’d you come from and where’s Kessen?” Xanthos demanded “Relax goat boy, Kessen wasn’t feeling well and told me where dinner was and to go in his place. He said he’ll see us in the morning. I think he got a hold of some bad tea leaves.” Menthos advises “Bad tea leaves? Did he buy them here?” A shocked mayor spoke up “No sir, had them from Highcastle, I think they got a little wet in the sewer and got moldy. Nothing to worry about, let’s eat!” Menthos assured the mayor Dinner was filling and the mayor invited the party to stay the night to which they agreed and all slept soundly. That morning as the rooster announced the sunrise, an incensed mayor bounded up his stairs shouting at the party to get up. “What’s wrong?” Xanthos inquired “That man, on my lawn. Remove him at once or I shall have him arrested!” The mayor shouted Xanthos hurried to his window and peered down at a naked Kessen passed out, spread eagle, and laying face up at the sky. “Get him up and dressed before he’s seen!” The mayor shouted The party raced downstairs to gape in horror as a crowd had already gathered to watch Kessen water the mayor’s lawn from a prone position The mayor screamed and howled as Xanthos and Turgar hefted the unconscious Kessen up and onto the back of Xanthos who rode out of town. Haimish bent down to collect Kessen’s clothing when a foul stench assailed his nose, “Doopa? Can you come here?” Haimish asked The bard handed Kessen’s soiled clothing over to the ogre who placed them in a pouch around his waist. Menthos waited until everyone was preoccupied with the mayor’s lawn and then scurried off to see the shopkeeper and seal the deal. Forming their own small angry mob, the party exits Bulwark as a profusely apologetic Kessen tries to excuse his behavior. Having forgotten how he ended up in front of the mayor’s house in the first place let alone naked. “I guess you really were sick last night. I think you should avoid Halflings from now on, maybe you have an allergy, here have a cigar from me.” Menthos offered “Thanks, don’t mind if I do.” Kessen answered as Menthos lit it and passed it over to the scout. [/QUOTE]
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