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The Chronicle of Burne, and Some Others of Lesser Importance *Updated May 17th, 2009*
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<blockquote data-quote="Rolzup" data-source="post: 2823011" data-attributes="member: 10105"><p><strong>At Long Last, Joachim</strong></p><p></p><p>The dungeons were only lightly guarded; they obviously had not anticipated a master strategist like myself. We struck them down quickly and quietly, and proceed on to the cells.</p><p></p><p>And there we found, at long last, Joachim Driftwood. He was less than delighted to see his beloved, considering the dangerous nature of his predicament, but once I introduced myself he was sufficiently reassured.</p><p></p><p>HE NEVER EVER NOTICED BURNE, ALTHOUGH HE DID REMARK ONCE UPON THE SMELL.</p><p></p><p>Kenji freed the man, along with his fellow prisoners, by using his blade to literally slice through the bars of their cells. Reasonably impressive, I had to admit, albeit needlessly flashy. We discovered that not only had we found Joachim, and the Sister Inferior (one 'Eva Longinus'), but also the other surviving members of the Windsprint's crew. The Captain, Eduard Revi, thanked me personally, and offered to assist us in our efforts to eliminate the remaining Polyneecheeans.</p><p></p><p>Pleased by his bravery, I offered him the use of my own sword, a weapon of fabled power.</p><p></p><p>HE BOUGHT IT THIRD-HAND. I'M NOT SURE WHAT METAL IT'S MADE OF, BUT IT BENDS IF HE SWINGS IT TOO HARD.</p><p></p><p>Rackhir reappeared at some point in the proceedings, fresh from doing gods-know-what. Napping, I suspect.</p><p></p><p>I, AT LEAST, NOTICED THAT RACKHIR HAD MORE SCARS, AND SIGNIFICANTLY LESS ARROWS, THAN HE HAD WHEN HE LEFT US.</p><p></p><p>We were surprised, at this juncture, by a handful of guards descending the stairs. We struck quickly, but one of them managed to flee back up the stairs, slamming the double doors behind him. We had only moments to prepare for the enemy assault.</p><p></p><p>As Kenji urged the non-combatants into the secret tunnel, I created a simple trap at the top of the stairs. A broken board was placed upon the topmost step, the vial of Nebulotoxum concealed beneath it. The first man through the door would step upon the board, breaking the vial and releasing the contents. The deadly, deadly contents.</p><p></p><p>It went exactly as I had planned. The Nebulotoxum proved to be a particularly vile gas, one which left the Polyneecheeans blinded and sickened. It had little effect, sadly, upon the pair of truly enormous boars that charged down the stairs after them....</p><p></p><p>What followed was an altogether typical melee, aside from the giant pig. Kenji waved his sword about, Rackhir fired arrows at various people, and the madman cracked skulls with gleeful abandon.</p><p></p><p>Myself, I employed Burne's Incendiary Blast upon the pig, filling the dungeon with the delightful scent of barbeque. The Ping had more than spearmen and swine upon their side, however! They also boasted the services of some sort of barbaric spell-caster, and he used his arts to call forth a wind that swept away the Nebulotoxum cloud.</p><p></p><p>My interest piqued by this rude challenge, I set myself the task of incinerating the fellow. We dueled back and forth for a time, until I -- growing weary of the game -- allowed Rackhir to slay him. Or perhaps it was Kenji? Either way, one barbarian killed another. It was all quite appropriate, really.</p><p></p><p>The close quarters, and the superior numbers of the foe, had made matters touch-and-go for a time, but we prevailed in the end. Naturally. With Burne at the helm, how could we fail?</p><p></p><p>HE COULD SET HIS ALLIES ON FIRE. “ACCIDENTALLY”. JUST WAIT; IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME.</p><p></p><p>With the foe driven back, we swept upward, and removed the remaining Ping from the building. Messily.</p><p></p><p>In the process we found a collection of items that the Polyneecheeans had collected; ‘booty’, I believe is the technical term? Therein we found various and sundry things of interest; Captain Revi’s sword, Joachim’s magical oven, and even the fabled relic known as the Holy Bodice of St. Tarte. This last was wrapped around the order’s Mother Superior, Tawny Portal, who the Ping had been intending to sacrifice to their Tiki god.</p><p></p><p>The rest of the evening passed in a flame-lit blur. It ended when the surviving Ping fled back to their ships, which were -- alas! -- beyond the Engine's range. Neverthelss, I had given them much to remember me by, and no few Ping were left burning upon the shores of St. Tarte's!</p><p></p><p>And so, with the lovers reunited, the island freed, and the barbaric foe routed, we were free to return to CITY and to civilization. And it was about damned time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rolzup, post: 2823011, member: 10105"] [b]At Long Last, Joachim[/b] The dungeons were only lightly guarded; they obviously had not anticipated a master strategist like myself. We struck them down quickly and quietly, and proceed on to the cells. And there we found, at long last, Joachim Driftwood. He was less than delighted to see his beloved, considering the dangerous nature of his predicament, but once I introduced myself he was sufficiently reassured. HE NEVER EVER NOTICED BURNE, ALTHOUGH HE DID REMARK ONCE UPON THE SMELL. Kenji freed the man, along with his fellow prisoners, by using his blade to literally slice through the bars of their cells. Reasonably impressive, I had to admit, albeit needlessly flashy. We discovered that not only had we found Joachim, and the Sister Inferior (one 'Eva Longinus'), but also the other surviving members of the Windsprint's crew. The Captain, Eduard Revi, thanked me personally, and offered to assist us in our efforts to eliminate the remaining Polyneecheeans. Pleased by his bravery, I offered him the use of my own sword, a weapon of fabled power. HE BOUGHT IT THIRD-HAND. I'M NOT SURE WHAT METAL IT'S MADE OF, BUT IT BENDS IF HE SWINGS IT TOO HARD. Rackhir reappeared at some point in the proceedings, fresh from doing gods-know-what. Napping, I suspect. I, AT LEAST, NOTICED THAT RACKHIR HAD MORE SCARS, AND SIGNIFICANTLY LESS ARROWS, THAN HE HAD WHEN HE LEFT US. We were surprised, at this juncture, by a handful of guards descending the stairs. We struck quickly, but one of them managed to flee back up the stairs, slamming the double doors behind him. We had only moments to prepare for the enemy assault. As Kenji urged the non-combatants into the secret tunnel, I created a simple trap at the top of the stairs. A broken board was placed upon the topmost step, the vial of Nebulotoxum concealed beneath it. The first man through the door would step upon the board, breaking the vial and releasing the contents. The deadly, deadly contents. It went exactly as I had planned. The Nebulotoxum proved to be a particularly vile gas, one which left the Polyneecheeans blinded and sickened. It had little effect, sadly, upon the pair of truly enormous boars that charged down the stairs after them.... What followed was an altogether typical melee, aside from the giant pig. Kenji waved his sword about, Rackhir fired arrows at various people, and the madman cracked skulls with gleeful abandon. Myself, I employed Burne's Incendiary Blast upon the pig, filling the dungeon with the delightful scent of barbeque. The Ping had more than spearmen and swine upon their side, however! They also boasted the services of some sort of barbaric spell-caster, and he used his arts to call forth a wind that swept away the Nebulotoxum cloud. My interest piqued by this rude challenge, I set myself the task of incinerating the fellow. We dueled back and forth for a time, until I -- growing weary of the game -- allowed Rackhir to slay him. Or perhaps it was Kenji? Either way, one barbarian killed another. It was all quite appropriate, really. The close quarters, and the superior numbers of the foe, had made matters touch-and-go for a time, but we prevailed in the end. Naturally. With Burne at the helm, how could we fail? HE COULD SET HIS ALLIES ON FIRE. “ACCIDENTALLY”. JUST WAIT; IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME. With the foe driven back, we swept upward, and removed the remaining Ping from the building. Messily. In the process we found a collection of items that the Polyneecheeans had collected; ‘booty’, I believe is the technical term? Therein we found various and sundry things of interest; Captain Revi’s sword, Joachim’s magical oven, and even the fabled relic known as the Holy Bodice of St. Tarte. This last was wrapped around the order’s Mother Superior, Tawny Portal, who the Ping had been intending to sacrifice to their Tiki god. The rest of the evening passed in a flame-lit blur. It ended when the surviving Ping fled back to their ships, which were -- alas! -- beyond the Engine's range. Neverthelss, I had given them much to remember me by, and no few Ping were left burning upon the shores of St. Tarte's! And so, with the lovers reunited, the island freed, and the barbaric foe routed, we were free to return to CITY and to civilization. And it was about damned time. [/QUOTE]
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