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THE ECOLOGY OF THE DEATH KISS (unpublished Monster Hunters "Ecology" article)
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<blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 4097845" data-attributes="member: 508"><p>"Okay, listen up," said Jasper Redplume, gathering his band of adventurers around him. "First of all, you'll be pleased to learn I've signed on a little extra muscle for this delve: everyone, this is Rhionda. Rhionda, may I present the mighty Battleblades: Frollick, our cleric; our twin scouts, Kip and Skip; and the guy in the blue robes over there is Buntleby, our spell-monkey. Oh, and his little rat, Oslo."</p><p></p><p>"That's 'Ozzie,'" corrected the wizard stiffly. "And as you well know he's not a rat, he's an osquip. Furthermore, I am not a fan of the term 'spell-monkey,' as I believe I've pointed out on numerous occasions."</p><p></p><p>"Whatever," replied Jasper with a wave of his hand as if shooing away an irritating fly. "Rhionda, welcome to our illustrious ranks. I'm sure you'll do the Battleblades proud."</p><p></p><p>"Hello," said Rhionda, nodding to the others. She was a young woman, having seen maybe 18 or 19 summers; thin; with long, auburn hair tied in a simple braid. She wore combat leathers, a dagger in her boot, a sword on her back, and a smile on her face. The other Battleblades seemed charmed to have such a pleasant young fighter in their midst. One of the halflings approached and stuck out a hand in greeting. Rhionda shook the proffered hand and asked, "And which one are you?"</p><p></p><p>"I'm Kip," replied the halfling. "That's Skip over there," he announced, thrusting a thumb in the direction of his identical twin behind him. "It's easy to tell us apart; he's the one with the headband." Skip turned and obediently tapped his headband, drawing her attention to it.</p><p></p><p>"I'll remember that," promised Rhionda, making a mental note: Headband = Skip.</p><p></p><p>"Now listen up, everybody," commanded Jasper. "We're going to explore the Dread Ruins of Shattered Abbey." It was obvious from his enunciation that Jasper was Talking In Capitals again, an affectation he obviously thought made him sound imperious but most others merely found amusing. "Frollick has managed to pump the local tavern-dwellers for information and has a rough idea of what we might expect. Good work by the way, Frollick."</p><p></p><p>"Always 'appy to do me bit," replied the dwarven battle-cleric, licking his lips in memory of the many fine ales that he'd consumed in his recent quest for information. "In any case, them ruins date back several centuries, an' there's quite an extensive network of catacombs under the abbey. Most of it's prolly been picked clean over the years, but ye never know, there might well be an 'idden passage or two that Kip and Skip can winkle out."</p><p></p><p>"Any known inhabitants?" asked Buntleby irritably. "You know, like ghouls or such? I'd certainly like to know in advance this time, if at all possible."</p><p></p><p>"Pshaw! Nuffin' we cain't 'andle, lad," replied the dwarf, slapping the wizard roughly on the shoulder. "Only some rumors, an' rumors cain't 'urt ye none."</p><p></p><p>"Still and all, rumors of what?" pressed Buntleby.</p><p></p><p>"Well, there's talk that there might be a beholder or such down there.<strong>[2]</strong> Coupla adventurin' types've claimed to've mebbe seen one there once."<strong>[3]</strong></p><p></p><p>"Well, if there is, so much the better!" replied Jasper, wringing his hands together in anticipation. "I've always wanted to test my mettle against one of those monstrosities! And they say beholders have Quite A Bit Of Treasure, you know. Quite A Bit, Indeed!<strong>[4]</strong> Battleblades: Adventure Awaits!" With that, Jasper strode boldly down the path leading away from the village and toward the long-abandoned ruins. The others followed suit.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Richards, post: 4097845, member: 508"] "Okay, listen up," said Jasper Redplume, gathering his band of adventurers around him. "First of all, you'll be pleased to learn I've signed on a little extra muscle for this delve: everyone, this is Rhionda. Rhionda, may I present the mighty Battleblades: Frollick, our cleric; our twin scouts, Kip and Skip; and the guy in the blue robes over there is Buntleby, our spell-monkey. Oh, and his little rat, Oslo." "That's 'Ozzie,'" corrected the wizard stiffly. "And as you well know he's not a rat, he's an osquip. Furthermore, I am not a fan of the term 'spell-monkey,' as I believe I've pointed out on numerous occasions." "Whatever," replied Jasper with a wave of his hand as if shooing away an irritating fly. "Rhionda, welcome to our illustrious ranks. I'm sure you'll do the Battleblades proud." "Hello," said Rhionda, nodding to the others. She was a young woman, having seen maybe 18 or 19 summers; thin; with long, auburn hair tied in a simple braid. She wore combat leathers, a dagger in her boot, a sword on her back, and a smile on her face. The other Battleblades seemed charmed to have such a pleasant young fighter in their midst. One of the halflings approached and stuck out a hand in greeting. Rhionda shook the proffered hand and asked, "And which one are you?" "I'm Kip," replied the halfling. "That's Skip over there," he announced, thrusting a thumb in the direction of his identical twin behind him. "It's easy to tell us apart; he's the one with the headband." Skip turned and obediently tapped his headband, drawing her attention to it. "I'll remember that," promised Rhionda, making a mental note: Headband = Skip. "Now listen up, everybody," commanded Jasper. "We're going to explore the Dread Ruins of Shattered Abbey." It was obvious from his enunciation that Jasper was Talking In Capitals again, an affectation he obviously thought made him sound imperious but most others merely found amusing. "Frollick has managed to pump the local tavern-dwellers for information and has a rough idea of what we might expect. Good work by the way, Frollick." "Always 'appy to do me bit," replied the dwarven battle-cleric, licking his lips in memory of the many fine ales that he'd consumed in his recent quest for information. "In any case, them ruins date back several centuries, an' there's quite an extensive network of catacombs under the abbey. Most of it's prolly been picked clean over the years, but ye never know, there might well be an 'idden passage or two that Kip and Skip can winkle out." "Any known inhabitants?" asked Buntleby irritably. "You know, like ghouls or such? I'd certainly like to know in advance this time, if at all possible." "Pshaw! Nuffin' we cain't 'andle, lad," replied the dwarf, slapping the wizard roughly on the shoulder. "Only some rumors, an' rumors cain't 'urt ye none." "Still and all, rumors of what?" pressed Buntleby. "Well, there's talk that there might be a beholder or such down there.[b][2][/b] Coupla adventurin' types've claimed to've mebbe seen one there once."[b][3][/b] "Well, if there is, so much the better!" replied Jasper, wringing his hands together in anticipation. "I've always wanted to test my mettle against one of those monstrosities! And they say beholders have Quite A Bit Of Treasure, you know. Quite A Bit, Indeed![b][4][/b] Battleblades: Adventure Awaits!" With that, Jasper strode boldly down the path leading away from the village and toward the long-abandoned ruins. The others followed suit. [/QUOTE]
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THE ECOLOGY OF THE DEATH KISS (unpublished Monster Hunters "Ecology" article)
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