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THE ECOLOGY OF THE GULGUTHYDRA (unpublished 3.0 Monster Hunters "Ecology" article)
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<blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 3080377" data-attributes="member: 508"><p>As one, the Monster Hunter wizards cheered out loud. "Hunt successful!" announced Dreelix, raising his arms in victory and pirouetting as if solely responsible for the creature's death. With a bit of effort, Rhionda wriggled out of the <em>portable hole</em> capping one tentacle and pulled it off the appendage, revealing its full length again. Seeing the beast was already dead, she gave it a final kick of frustration before joining the others. The movement loosened a small avalanche of dripping slime that quickly engulfed her boot. She pulled it free with a wet, sucking sound.</p><p></p><p>Grindle brought the <em>carpet of flying</em> to a gentle landing at the top of the hill. Azurielle stood up, scowling, her arms crossed in anger. "What about the fires?" she asked. "Are you going to let that thing burn out of control?" The multiple <em>fireball</em> barrage, besides setting fire to the monster's carcass, had started a dozen small fires among the grass and toppled trees in the vicinity. Zantoullios made himself useful stomping out the smaller of them with his sandals, until he caught the hem of his own robe on fire and had to have Grindle put it out by rolling on top of him and smothering the flames with his massive body.</p><p></p><p>"Actually, that might not be such a bad idea," remarked Buntleby. The nymph turned and glowered at him, not having expected him, of all people, to turn against her. "You know how bad that thing smells now?" Buntleby asked. "Just imagine the stench when it starts to decay!"<strong>[19]</strong></p><p></p><p>Azurielle blanched at the thought, and instantly approved the notion of burning the slain monster, even going as far as applying a <em>flame blade</em> spell of her own to the vast carcass to help the process along. Only when the creature was blazing like a giant bonfire was she satisfied.</p><p></p><p>"Didn't we want to harvest any of its body parts?" asked Grindle, seeing the conflagration.</p><p></p><p>"Not if they all smell like that, we don't!" answered Dreelix, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Now then, to our reward! Azurielle, I believe we have carried out our part of the bargain and disposed of the monster threatening your grove; kindly direct me to the slain unicorn's horn at all speed!"</p><p></p><p>Azurielle's face darkened in anger. "You mean you only helped me out of personal gain?" she demanded. "I should have known! Well, the alicorn you seek is in the belly of the burning beast yonder, Dreelix! Help yourself, if you wish!"</p><p></p><p>"WHAT?" thundered Dreelix. "You mean--?"</p><p></p><p>"What did you expect? You saw how that thing eats! It slew noble Moonsilver and gobbled him up, bones and all, with several of its heads."<strong>[20]</strong></p><p></p><p>Dreelix ground his teeth in frustration. "And I don't suppose the stupid thing stores any treasure in its lair, does it? No, of course not," he complained, answering his own rhetorical question, "That would be expecting too much, wouldn't it?<strong>[21]</strong> Just once--JUST ONCE!--I'd like to see us end up with a rich Hunt! Is that so much to ask for?"</p><p></p><p>"Maybe next time," shrugged Buntleby. "As for now, I'd like nothing better than to get cleaned up. I think that probably goes for the rest of us, too."</p><p></p><p>"You should have those cuts looked at," suggested Azurielle to Rhionda, noting where the monster's spiked tentacle had scratched the fighter's skin. "You wouldn't want those to get infected."<strong>[22]</strong></p><p></p><p>"Yeah, I will; thanks," said Rhionda.</p><p></p><p>"Come on; there's nothing for us here," bemoaned Dreelix. "We might as well get back, before anything else can go wrong, although I can't for the life of me imagine--"</p><p></p><p>Dreelix was cut off by the sound of a massive explosion. The monster's body erupted like a lit powder-keg, sending Azurielle and the Monster Hunters crashing to the ground. They were immediately thereafter pelted with bits of stinking flesh and gobbets of fecal slime falling from the sky.</p><p></p><p>"What in the Nine Hells was that?" demanded Dreelix.</p><p></p><p>"I imagine we finally ignited the creature's internal gasses," suggested Willowquisp. "When a creature eats as much as that one does, there's no doubt quite a gas buildup in its system; that may in part account for the creature's smell."<strong>[23]</strong></p><p></p><p>"Great, just great," muttered Dreelix.</p><p></p><p>The eight figures got shakily to their feet and stared in amazement at each other. They weren't a pretty sight, dripping as they were with layers of the oozing slime; it covered their clothing, matted their hair, and stunk just as bad as it had on the gulguthydra. As one, they started frantically wiping the gunk out of their eyes, flinging it to the ground, and doing their best to spit the horrific taste out of their mouths. All but Lady Ablasta, that is: She just stood there, immobile, with her arms held away from her body and her eyes goggling, the expression on her muck-covered face one of absolute disbelief. <em>This didn't happen</em>, she thought, her brain unable to hold a steady thought for long. <em>It didn't just--I'm not covered in--This never--Surely I'm not--My hair is NOT--</em></p><p></p><p>Suddenly, Willowquisp started laughing. "Well, don't we all just look lovely today?" he asked, smiling at the absurdity of their situation.</p><p></p><p>Buntleby couldn't help it; the laughter was infectious. He sniggered at the sight of the eight of them coated head to toe in brown, dripping, vile slime. Zantoullios and Rhionda soon joined in the mirth, and Grindle's prodigious belly bobbled up and down as he shook with silent laughter. Of the Monster Hunters, only Lady Ablasta and Dreelix failed to find any humor in the situation: Dreelix found the situation a personal affront to his dignity, while Ablasta's mind wouldn't yet admit that anything had happened. <em>I'm not--It didn't--Surely I--It never--</em></p><p></p><p>Azurielle looked at the helpless state of the five Monster Hunters as they giggled and guffawed, chuckled and chortled, snickered and sniggered. "You know, I really have to wonder about you humans sometimes," she observed.</p><p></p><p>"For once, we're in complete agreement," replied Dreelix sourly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Richards, post: 3080377, member: 508"] As one, the Monster Hunter wizards cheered out loud. "Hunt successful!" announced Dreelix, raising his arms in victory and pirouetting as if solely responsible for the creature's death. With a bit of effort, Rhionda wriggled out of the [i]portable hole[/i] capping one tentacle and pulled it off the appendage, revealing its full length again. Seeing the beast was already dead, she gave it a final kick of frustration before joining the others. The movement loosened a small avalanche of dripping slime that quickly engulfed her boot. She pulled it free with a wet, sucking sound. Grindle brought the [i]carpet of flying[/i] to a gentle landing at the top of the hill. Azurielle stood up, scowling, her arms crossed in anger. "What about the fires?" she asked. "Are you going to let that thing burn out of control?" The multiple [i]fireball[/i] barrage, besides setting fire to the monster's carcass, had started a dozen small fires among the grass and toppled trees in the vicinity. Zantoullios made himself useful stomping out the smaller of them with his sandals, until he caught the hem of his own robe on fire and had to have Grindle put it out by rolling on top of him and smothering the flames with his massive body. "Actually, that might not be such a bad idea," remarked Buntleby. The nymph turned and glowered at him, not having expected him, of all people, to turn against her. "You know how bad that thing smells now?" Buntleby asked. "Just imagine the stench when it starts to decay!"[b][19][/b] Azurielle blanched at the thought, and instantly approved the notion of burning the slain monster, even going as far as applying a [i]flame blade[/i] spell of her own to the vast carcass to help the process along. Only when the creature was blazing like a giant bonfire was she satisfied. "Didn't we want to harvest any of its body parts?" asked Grindle, seeing the conflagration. "Not if they all smell like that, we don't!" answered Dreelix, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Now then, to our reward! Azurielle, I believe we have carried out our part of the bargain and disposed of the monster threatening your grove; kindly direct me to the slain unicorn's horn at all speed!" Azurielle's face darkened in anger. "You mean you only helped me out of personal gain?" she demanded. "I should have known! Well, the alicorn you seek is in the belly of the burning beast yonder, Dreelix! Help yourself, if you wish!" "WHAT?" thundered Dreelix. "You mean--?" "What did you expect? You saw how that thing eats! It slew noble Moonsilver and gobbled him up, bones and all, with several of its heads."[b][20][/b] Dreelix ground his teeth in frustration. "And I don't suppose the stupid thing stores any treasure in its lair, does it? No, of course not," he complained, answering his own rhetorical question, "That would be expecting too much, wouldn't it?[b][21][/b] Just once--JUST ONCE!--I'd like to see us end up with a rich Hunt! Is that so much to ask for?" "Maybe next time," shrugged Buntleby. "As for now, I'd like nothing better than to get cleaned up. I think that probably goes for the rest of us, too." "You should have those cuts looked at," suggested Azurielle to Rhionda, noting where the monster's spiked tentacle had scratched the fighter's skin. "You wouldn't want those to get infected."[b][22][/b] "Yeah, I will; thanks," said Rhionda. "Come on; there's nothing for us here," bemoaned Dreelix. "We might as well get back, before anything else can go wrong, although I can't for the life of me imagine--" Dreelix was cut off by the sound of a massive explosion. The monster's body erupted like a lit powder-keg, sending Azurielle and the Monster Hunters crashing to the ground. They were immediately thereafter pelted with bits of stinking flesh and gobbets of fecal slime falling from the sky. "What in the Nine Hells was that?" demanded Dreelix. "I imagine we finally ignited the creature's internal gasses," suggested Willowquisp. "When a creature eats as much as that one does, there's no doubt quite a gas buildup in its system; that may in part account for the creature's smell."[b][23][/b] "Great, just great," muttered Dreelix. The eight figures got shakily to their feet and stared in amazement at each other. They weren't a pretty sight, dripping as they were with layers of the oozing slime; it covered their clothing, matted their hair, and stunk just as bad as it had on the gulguthydra. As one, they started frantically wiping the gunk out of their eyes, flinging it to the ground, and doing their best to spit the horrific taste out of their mouths. All but Lady Ablasta, that is: She just stood there, immobile, with her arms held away from her body and her eyes goggling, the expression on her muck-covered face one of absolute disbelief. [i]This didn't happen[/i], she thought, her brain unable to hold a steady thought for long. [i]It didn't just--I'm not covered in--This never--Surely I'm not--My hair is NOT--[/i] Suddenly, Willowquisp started laughing. "Well, don't we all just look lovely today?" he asked, smiling at the absurdity of their situation. Buntleby couldn't help it; the laughter was infectious. He snig[COLOR=GREEN][s][i][u][b][/b][/u][/i][/s][/COLOR]gered at the sight of the eight of them coated head to toe in brown, dripping, vile slime. Zantoullios and Rhionda soon joined in the mirth, and Grindle's prodigious belly bobbled up and down as he shook with silent laughter. Of the Monster Hunters, only Lady Ablasta and Dreelix failed to find any humor in the situation: Dreelix found the situation a personal affront to his dignity, while Ablasta's mind wouldn't yet admit that anything had happened. [i]I'm not--It didn't--Surely I--It never--[/i] Azurielle looked at the helpless state of the five Monster Hunters as they giggled and guffawed, chuckled and chortled, snickered and snig[i][u][b][/b][/u][/i]ger[i][u][b][/b][/u][/i]ed. "You know, I really have to wonder about you humans sometimes," she observed. "For once, we're in complete agreement," replied Dreelix sourly. [/QUOTE]
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THE ECOLOGY OF THE GULGUTHYDRA (unpublished 3.0 Monster Hunters "Ecology" article)
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