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The Explicatae Incompositae - Being A Bestairy of the Sometime Lords of Chaos
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<blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 3341031" data-attributes="member: 4937"><p><strong>Part the Seventh, Kliugbul, Lord of Absurdity</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong>Kliugbul, Lord of Absurdity</strong></span></p><p><strong>Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)</strong></p><p><strong>Hit Dice:</strong> 33d8 + 429 (693 hp)</p><p><strong>Initiative:</strong> +10</p><p><strong>Speed:</strong> 80 ft./80 ft. flying (perfect)</p><p><strong>AC: </strong> 47 (-1 size, +7 Dex, +7 deflection, +24 natural)</p><p><strong>Base Attack/Grapple: </strong> +26/+39</p><p><strong>Attack: </strong> Claw +34 melee (2d6+9)</p><p><strong>Full Attack: </strong> 2 claws +34 (2d6+9), 2 kick +32 melee (1d6+4), bite +32 melee (2d8+4), </p><p><strong>Space/Reach: </strong> 5 ft./15 ft.</p><p><strong>Special Attacks:</strong> Perfect nonsense, spell-like abilities, summon slaad</p><p><strong>Special Qualities:</strong> change shape, fast healing 15, extended reach, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, perfect balance, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 33, trap finding </p><p><strong>Saves:</strong> Fort +31, Ref +25, Will +24</p><p><strong>Abilities:</strong> Str 28, Dex 25, Con 36, Int 22, Wis 22, Chr 25 </p><p><strong>Skills: </strong> Balance +44, Bluff +58, Climb +32, Concentration +36, Craft (Trapmaking) +38, Disable Device +30, Diplomacy +22, Escape Artist +31, Hide +31, Intimidate +22, Jump +32, Listen +37, Move Silently +30, Perform +40, Search +29, Sense Motive +21, Spot +29, Survival +21, Tumble +38 </p><p><strong>Feats:</strong> Combat reflexes, combat expertise, dodge, elusive target, improved combat expertise, improved disarm, improved initiative, improved trip, mobility, multiattack, power attack, roof walker, spring attack</p><p><strong>Environment:</strong> Limbo</p><p><strong>Organization:</strong> Solitary </p><p><strong>Challenge Rating:</strong> 25</p><p><strong>Treasure: </strong> None</p><p><strong>Alignment:</strong> Chaotic neutral</p><p></p><p>It is not possible to describe what the being known as Kluigbul looks like, since he changes form on a regular basis. It is only possible to set the general scene. Kluigbul prefers impossibly tall and slender legs, such as the legs of a flamingo, stork or harvestman – and not necessarily in the expected numbers. Atop this Kluigbul prefers the body of some fat-bodied and contrasting torso, like a swan or hippo, and then atop that some equally long or impossible neck – cranes, swans, or giraffes are good here. His arms are generally ape-like or draconian, and he completes the ensemble with some outrageous tail such as that of a lion or a crane fly and a mane of infant’s arms or dandelions or some other impossible thing. His head is that of a toad with a single cyclopean eye, and he’s particularly found of garish face paint, particularly to accentuate the lips. All of this will be balanced atop a large brightly colored spinning ball, and atop his head some colorful top hat with feathers atop of which will be balanced an arrow on its point, and atop that will be balanced an egg or a turnip, and atop that he’ll have balanced a terrified squealing pig.</p><p></p><p>Kluigbul is driven by the impulse of surrealism, and seeks to promote the experience that reality is but an absurd dream, a silly illusion, which must be accepted and if you have the strength mocked. He does not seek to make war on law. He seeks to destroy the belief in law, and thereby shift the balance of the universe in favor of chaos. He frequently travels among mortals spending long sessions on the prime material plane, perhaps more so than any other Slaad Lord. When among mortals he wears the disguise of a fool, a comic tramp, an outlandish bard, or a jester and in this guise he tells darkly humorous stories of the injustice of life, its basic unfairness, and its utter incomprehensibility and ridiculousness. If Kluigbul is aware of the irony of this, he makes no sign of it.</p><p></p><p>Although few apart from the learned know Kluigbul by that name, he is well known in many cultures by many names as a great trickster spirit or cultural hero who humiliates the great and proud and who makes fools of tyrants. Among the more common stories told include the tale of the duel between Kluigbul in the form of a simpleton and a great paladin champion, at the end of which the hapless and now naked Paladin is found by the villagers having spent a cold night helplessly balanced atop his upright great lance like some bizarre penent. Many other stories of this mode exist, with Kluigbul besting in a similar fashion both devils and angels, wise and beloved kings and tyrants alike. At least half of them are probably true.</p><p></p><p>In some fashion that is not understood, Kluigbul seems to play a large role in determining the current body fads and fashions among the slaad and it seems likely the he more so than any other single figure is responsible for the current fondness for toad-like forms. Likewise, Kluigbul seems to have a rather large following amongst the lesser Slaad, and is the target of something akin to hero worship by the lesser slaad, and will generally be sited as a lesser slaad as the thing that they would most like to be in the universe if they were not their own magnificent (in their own estimation) self. So, in truth it might well be Kluigbul which has the greatest sway over the slaad race as a whole and not one of the greater lords.</p><p></p><p>Not that that is necessarily saying much.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Combat </span> </p><p>Kluigbul seems genuinely unaware that anyone would consider trying to destroy him, even when any observer would mark that as their obvious intent. Kluigbul therefore treats all combats as a sort of game, where the object is to demonstrate your greater sense of humor than your opponent. That is to say, Kluigbul never passes up a chance to humiliate opponents if it presents itself, and seldom is interested in making the contest mortal if some funnier option is available.</p><p><strong>Spell-Like Abilities:</strong> At will – alter self, animate objects, bestow curse (DC 20), chaos hammer (DC 21), charm monster (DC 21), cloak of chaos (DC 24), detect law, detect magic, dimension door, dispel law (DC 22), dispel magic, featherfall, feeblemind (DC 22), grease (DC 18), greater magic fang, hideous laughter (DC 19), invisibility, insanity (DC 22), magic circle against law, major creation, mass suggestion (DC 23), mirror image, misdirection, mislead, persistent image, phantasmal killer (DC 21), shrink item, stinking cloud (DC 20), transmute rock to mud, true seeing, wind walk, word of chaos (DC 28); 3/day ethereal jaunt, limited wish, polymorph any object (DC 25), power word (stun); 1/day wierd (DC 26) Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based.</p><p><strong>Change Shape (Su): </strong> Kluigbul can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Kluigbul cannot use his natural weapons. Kluigbul may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Kluigbul’s natural form, only that Kluigbul is a disguised shapechanger.</p><p><strong>Extended Reach (Ex): </strong> In any form medium-sized or larger, Kluigbul’s reach is 5’ longer than normal for his size class.</p><p><strong>Perfect Balance (Su): </strong> Kluigbul has the ability to balance any object up to his maximum lift perfectly atop any other object regardless of the sizes of the objects or their ability to support weight in defiance of the normal laws of the universe. While this power continues, the effect of this is as follows:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Kluigbul never fails a balance check, regardless of difficulty, unless he desires to (usually for comic effect). He may literally balance himself atop a mile high stack of marbles only a single marble wide if he so chooses. He may balance on air, and walk on a single floating bit of dust as stably as on solid ground. His ability to fly perfectly in any direction is a result of this, and his flying ability is surpressed whenever his perfect balance is suppressed or in a vacuum. </li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Kluigbul automatically avoids any trip attack and automatically succeeds in any check to avoid falling prone.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">By touch, Kluigbul may extend this power to any object weighing up to his maximum lift whether animate or inanimate. In the case of inanimate objects, the object remains balanced wherever he put it indefinitely, and may only be moved by a force sufficient to lift and move the object itself. He may therefore balance a boulder atop an upright sword point, and no amount of pushing and shoving may move it unless the being is capable of lifting the boulder off its perch, unless the power of perfect balance is suppressed or the object receives the merest touch by an object or being which would radiate at least a strong aura of law (as the spell detect law). Then the power is dispelled and the normal laws of the universe reexert themselves.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">In the case of an animate object, if the being is chaotic in nature the power of perfect balance extends until the being touches firm footing and is not required to make a balance check – at which point it is dispelled. If the being is not-chaotic, the power continues only so long as the being does not move from the position that they are perched in. If a non-chaotic being attempts to move from that position, the power is immediately dispelled. Kluigbul is fond of leaving enemies balanced helplessly in precarious places, such as on a cloud, atop a slender pole, in the tops of trees, or simply in midair. Unwilling beings recieve no saving throw, nor is spell resistance of any help (of course, self-rescue may still be possible, if only by the expedient of falling).</li> </ul><p>Kluigbul’s power of perfect balance may not be dispelled by ordinary magic. It is however immediately suppressed when within a <em>magic circle against chaos</em> or an <em>anti-magic field</em>. In such cases, Kluigbul must rely on his ordinary but still quite gifted skills at balance.</p><p><strong>Perfect Nonsense (Ex):</strong> Kluigbul has the ability to make anything, no matter how absurd, unreasonable, and even self-destructive seem to be perfectly reasonable. As a result, he receives a +20 insight bonus on bluff checks, and he may issue even suicidal instructions to those under his magical sway and they will seem perfectly reasonable <em>suggestions</em>. However, when Kluigbul exercises this power, lawful victims recieve a +4 bonus to resist.</p><p><strong>Summon Slaad (Sp): </strong> Three times per day Kluigbul can attempt to summon 2-20 red slaad or 2-16 blue slaad with 100% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 9th level spell.</p><p><strong>Trapfinding (Ex):</strong> Kluigbul possesses the ability to find traps with DC’s greater than 20, as the rogue ability of the same name</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Celebrim, post: 3341031, member: 4937"] [b]Part the Seventh, Kliugbul, Lord of Absurdity[/b] [SIZE=4][B]Kliugbul, Lord of Absurdity[/B][/SIZE] [B]Unique Large Outsider (Chaotic, Extraplanar)[/B] [B]Hit Dice:[/B] 33d8 + 429 (693 hp) [B]Initiative:[/B] +10 [B]Speed:[/B] 80 ft./80 ft. flying (perfect) [B]AC: [/B] 47 (-1 size, +7 Dex, +7 deflection, +24 natural) [B]Base Attack/Grapple: [/B] +26/+39 [B]Attack: [/B] Claw +34 melee (2d6+9) [B]Full Attack: [/B] 2 claws +34 (2d6+9), 2 kick +32 melee (1d6+4), bite +32 melee (2d8+4), [B]Space/Reach: [/B] 5 ft./15 ft. [B]Special Attacks:[/B] Perfect nonsense, spell-like abilities, summon slaad [B]Special Qualities:[/B] change shape, fast healing 15, extended reach, damage reduction 30/epic and lawful, dark vision (infinite), immune to ability drain, energy drain, mind effecting spells, polymorph, and petrification, immune to sonic damage, perfect balance, resistance to acid 20, cold 20, electricity 20, and fire 20, spell resistance 33, trap finding [B]Saves:[/B] Fort +31, Ref +25, Will +24 [B]Abilities:[/B] Str 28, Dex 25, Con 36, Int 22, Wis 22, Chr 25 [B]Skills: [/B] Balance +44, Bluff +58, Climb +32, Concentration +36, Craft (Trapmaking) +38, Disable Device +30, Diplomacy +22, Escape Artist +31, Hide +31, Intimidate +22, Jump +32, Listen +37, Move Silently +30, Perform +40, Search +29, Sense Motive +21, Spot +29, Survival +21, Tumble +38 [B]Feats:[/B] Combat reflexes, combat expertise, dodge, elusive target, improved combat expertise, improved disarm, improved initiative, improved trip, mobility, multiattack, power attack, roof walker, spring attack [B]Environment:[/B] Limbo [B]Organization:[/B] Solitary [B]Challenge Rating:[/B] 25 [B]Treasure: [/B] None [B]Alignment:[/B] Chaotic neutral It is not possible to describe what the being known as Kluigbul looks like, since he changes form on a regular basis. It is only possible to set the general scene. Kluigbul prefers impossibly tall and slender legs, such as the legs of a flamingo, stork or harvestman – and not necessarily in the expected numbers. Atop this Kluigbul prefers the body of some fat-bodied and contrasting torso, like a swan or hippo, and then atop that some equally long or impossible neck – cranes, swans, or giraffes are good here. His arms are generally ape-like or draconian, and he completes the ensemble with some outrageous tail such as that of a lion or a crane fly and a mane of infant’s arms or dandelions or some other impossible thing. His head is that of a toad with a single cyclopean eye, and he’s particularly found of garish face paint, particularly to accentuate the lips. All of this will be balanced atop a large brightly colored spinning ball, and atop his head some colorful top hat with feathers atop of which will be balanced an arrow on its point, and atop that will be balanced an egg or a turnip, and atop that he’ll have balanced a terrified squealing pig. Kluigbul is driven by the impulse of surrealism, and seeks to promote the experience that reality is but an absurd dream, a silly illusion, which must be accepted and if you have the strength mocked. He does not seek to make war on law. He seeks to destroy the belief in law, and thereby shift the balance of the universe in favor of chaos. He frequently travels among mortals spending long sessions on the prime material plane, perhaps more so than any other Slaad Lord. When among mortals he wears the disguise of a fool, a comic tramp, an outlandish bard, or a jester and in this guise he tells darkly humorous stories of the injustice of life, its basic unfairness, and its utter incomprehensibility and ridiculousness. If Kluigbul is aware of the irony of this, he makes no sign of it. Although few apart from the learned know Kluigbul by that name, he is well known in many cultures by many names as a great trickster spirit or cultural hero who humiliates the great and proud and who makes fools of tyrants. Among the more common stories told include the tale of the duel between Kluigbul in the form of a simpleton and a great paladin champion, at the end of which the hapless and now naked Paladin is found by the villagers having spent a cold night helplessly balanced atop his upright great lance like some bizarre penent. Many other stories of this mode exist, with Kluigbul besting in a similar fashion both devils and angels, wise and beloved kings and tyrants alike. At least half of them are probably true. In some fashion that is not understood, Kluigbul seems to play a large role in determining the current body fads and fashions among the slaad and it seems likely the he more so than any other single figure is responsible for the current fondness for toad-like forms. Likewise, Kluigbul seems to have a rather large following amongst the lesser Slaad, and is the target of something akin to hero worship by the lesser slaad, and will generally be sited as a lesser slaad as the thing that they would most like to be in the universe if they were not their own magnificent (in their own estimation) self. So, in truth it might well be Kluigbul which has the greatest sway over the slaad race as a whole and not one of the greater lords. Not that that is necessarily saying much. [SIZE=4]Combat [/SIZE] Kluigbul seems genuinely unaware that anyone would consider trying to destroy him, even when any observer would mark that as their obvious intent. Kluigbul therefore treats all combats as a sort of game, where the object is to demonstrate your greater sense of humor than your opponent. That is to say, Kluigbul never passes up a chance to humiliate opponents if it presents itself, and seldom is interested in making the contest mortal if some funnier option is available. [B]Spell-Like Abilities:[/B] At will – alter self, animate objects, bestow curse (DC 20), chaos hammer (DC 21), charm monster (DC 21), cloak of chaos (DC 24), detect law, detect magic, dimension door, dispel law (DC 22), dispel magic, featherfall, feeblemind (DC 22), grease (DC 18), greater magic fang, hideous laughter (DC 19), invisibility, insanity (DC 22), magic circle against law, major creation, mass suggestion (DC 23), mirror image, misdirection, mislead, persistent image, phantasmal killer (DC 21), shrink item, stinking cloud (DC 20), transmute rock to mud, true seeing, wind walk, word of chaos (DC 28); 3/day ethereal jaunt, limited wish, polymorph any object (DC 25), power word (stun); 1/day wierd (DC 26) Caster level 25th. The save DC’s are Charisma based. [B]Change Shape (Su): [/B] Kluigbul can assume any humanoid form as a standard action. In humanoid form, Kluigbul cannot use his natural weapons. Kluigbul may remain in this form until he chooses to assume a new one. The change in form may not be dispelled, but the Slaad Lord will revert to his natural form if killed. Even a true seeing spell does not reveal Kluigbul’s natural form, only that Kluigbul is a disguised shapechanger. [B]Extended Reach (Ex): [/B] In any form medium-sized or larger, Kluigbul’s reach is 5’ longer than normal for his size class. [B]Perfect Balance (Su): [/B] Kluigbul has the ability to balance any object up to his maximum lift perfectly atop any other object regardless of the sizes of the objects or their ability to support weight in defiance of the normal laws of the universe. While this power continues, the effect of this is as follows: [LIST][*]Kluigbul never fails a balance check, regardless of difficulty, unless he desires to (usually for comic effect). He may literally balance himself atop a mile high stack of marbles only a single marble wide if he so chooses. He may balance on air, and walk on a single floating bit of dust as stably as on solid ground. His ability to fly perfectly in any direction is a result of this, and his flying ability is surpressed whenever his perfect balance is suppressed or in a vacuum. [*]Kluigbul automatically avoids any trip attack and automatically succeeds in any check to avoid falling prone. [*]By touch, Kluigbul may extend this power to any object weighing up to his maximum lift whether animate or inanimate. In the case of inanimate objects, the object remains balanced wherever he put it indefinitely, and may only be moved by a force sufficient to lift and move the object itself. He may therefore balance a boulder atop an upright sword point, and no amount of pushing and shoving may move it unless the being is capable of lifting the boulder off its perch, unless the power of perfect balance is suppressed or the object receives the merest touch by an object or being which would radiate at least a strong aura of law (as the spell detect law). Then the power is dispelled and the normal laws of the universe reexert themselves. [*]In the case of an animate object, if the being is chaotic in nature the power of perfect balance extends until the being touches firm footing and is not required to make a balance check – at which point it is dispelled. If the being is not-chaotic, the power continues only so long as the being does not move from the position that they are perched in. If a non-chaotic being attempts to move from that position, the power is immediately dispelled. Kluigbul is fond of leaving enemies balanced helplessly in precarious places, such as on a cloud, atop a slender pole, in the tops of trees, or simply in midair. Unwilling beings recieve no saving throw, nor is spell resistance of any help (of course, self-rescue may still be possible, if only by the expedient of falling). [/LIST] Kluigbul’s power of perfect balance may not be dispelled by ordinary magic. It is however immediately suppressed when within a [I]magic circle against chaos[/I] or an [I]anti-magic field[/I]. In such cases, Kluigbul must rely on his ordinary but still quite gifted skills at balance. [B]Perfect Nonsense (Ex):[/B] Kluigbul has the ability to make anything, no matter how absurd, unreasonable, and even self-destructive seem to be perfectly reasonable. As a result, he receives a +20 insight bonus on bluff checks, and he may issue even suicidal instructions to those under his magical sway and they will seem perfectly reasonable [I]suggestions[/I]. However, when Kluigbul exercises this power, lawful victims recieve a +4 bonus to resist. [B]Summon Slaad (Sp): [/B] Three times per day Kluigbul can attempt to summon 2-20 red slaad or 2-16 blue slaad with 100% chance of success. This ability is equivalent to an 9th level spell. [B]Trapfinding (Ex):[/B] Kluigbul possesses the ability to find traps with DC’s greater than 20, as the rogue ability of the same name [/QUOTE]
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The Explicatae Incompositae - Being A Bestairy of the Sometime Lords of Chaos
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