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The problem with elves take 2: A severe condemnation [merged]
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<blockquote data-quote="Edena_of_Neith" data-source="post: 3568952" data-attributes="member: 2020"><p>Hehe ... 20 years of diapers indeed. But that's nothing. Then it's 80 years of teenagehood madness after that (imagine *your* children hogging the phone for 80 years straight ...) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p> Let's look at Lifeproof. It comes from Zakhara, the Land of Fate, in Toril's southern hemisphere.</p><p> You allow the Shadow of Your Heart to be put in a gem by the casting wizard. If the gem (which cannot be magically protected) is destroyed, it kills you, no save.</p><p> But ...</p><p> So long as that gem stays intact and the SYH remains within, you have unlimited hit points. Period. Infinite hit points. Every 10 points you drop below 0, your Charisma drops by 1 point, but otherwise you are not harmed.</p><p> You *cannot* be incapacitated by a weapons blow. If your eyes are gouged out, you can still see. If your ears are cut off, you can still hear. If your arm or leg is severed, you can (presumably as a Full Round Action, but perhaps as a Standard Action or even a Swift Action) put it right back on, and it grafts instantly. Ditto your head (although that would most certainly be a Full Round Action ...)</p><p> You feel no pain if wounded, although you know you're wounded. </p><p> If you contract a disease, it causes no discomfort and can neither kill nor incapacitate you (you might run around black as night from the Plague, but aside from being contagious no other problems would accrue.)</p><p> </p><p> You can still die from poison (but not poisoning of the body from disease.) An assassin's poison will still get you. </p><p> Green slime can still devour you whole (leading to a Lifeproofed green slime ... ick ...)</p><p> Looking at a nymph can still blind or kill you. A dryad can still charm you and take you away (or something far less pleasant can charm you and ...)</p><p> Death magic still affects you. When Lord Soth points his finger and utters Power Word Kill, you still die.</p><p> You can still be buried alive in rocks or mud or water and be rendered helpless. You won't suffocate or suffer oxygen deprivation problems. Your brain cannot be addled from such things (poison gas will addle it, but not suffocation.)</p><p></p><p> The spell lasts forever, unless the gem is broken.</p><p></p><p> So imagine that the Queen of the Elves and her mages throw Lifeproof on every Elf of the Realm.</p><p> Reality is turned upside down.</p><p></p><p> Every elf, now has the invincibility of the Frenzied Berserker while Frenzied, only it's permanent and no Frenzy is required.</p><p> Suddenly, elves are a terror to all. They would make Feanor and his Noldor look like weaklings in comparison. These elves would slay Glaurung, wipe the floor with those balrogs, kill those endless millions of orcs. Morgoth, if he were smart, would shut the doors of Angband with a bang and hide in his deepest dungeons. Or, better yet, get Ungoliant to hide him in her webbing.</p><p> All because of one little 7th level spell, out of one supplement out of countless supplements, out of one edition of D&D out of five editions.</p><p></p><p> Imagine that even a single elf girl had the High Magic spell known as Nymph's Aura up in addition to Lifeproof.</p><p> She is standing inside Minas Tirith. And here comes the Morgul Host, 60,000 orcs and Haradrim and 9 Nazgul.</p><p> She walks to the wall, casts off her clothing, and throws Nymph's Aura. This 2nd Edition spell is Line of Sight.</p><p> Considering saving throw difficulties, about half of the Morgul Host, including one or two of the Nazgul and their beasts, go down instantly. In the subsequent rounds, those coming up to see what happened see the girl, and half of them die also. The smart ones retreat, and soon the remnant of the Host is back beyond the Causeway Forts.</p><p></p><p> Now some poor soul must go to Sauron and tell him that some slip of a girl destroyed his beautiful army. Any volunteers? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p> Even the first level Regenerate spell (from Polyhedron #28) makes a world of difference if the elves have it.</p><p> For now, after the battle, they are all still alive, and many of their enemies are not.</p><p></p><p> Agnakoks come from the Complete Book of Mages. So if the elves are magic inclined, why not make them Agnakoks, and state Temperate Forest as a horrendous place? Because, after all, it is.</p><p> If elves are going to live in the woods, we might as well make them *comfortable* there. Granting them Agnakok powers does that. Agnakoks have alterations in their appearance from the norm ... which is why elves have pointy ears! And which is why elves come in different flavors like gold, silver, green (literally), blue, purple, pure white, and pure black.</p><p></p><p> Within the Game Mechanics, within the Rules, are all the answers a DM could ever need to fix elves, to make elves competitive and more competitive with the other races. Background information (what you'all call Fluff) can be added as needed.</p><p> Play human? A little, yes. Maybe even a lot. (Otherwise, we humans couldn't rp elves at all, could we?)</p><p> Play with the rules to find a winning combination? Absolutely and all the time.</p><p></p><p> They say elves are smart, with around 15 Intelligence being average (150 IQ.) </p><p> If that is true, and if elves are magically inclined, there is no question that they use it to win. </p><p> And since this falls under the complicated Rules for Spells and Feats and Prestige Classes, it is to those rules the elves must look for supremacy!</p><p></p><p> I would daresay, then, that every elf has his or her Player's Handbook, and a host of other supplements and gaming magazines, on hand. Reading them is compulsory. Using what is learned therein is most mandatory!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Edena_of_Neith, post: 3568952, member: 2020"] Hehe ... 20 years of diapers indeed. But that's nothing. Then it's 80 years of teenagehood madness after that (imagine *your* children hogging the phone for 80 years straight ...) :) Let's look at Lifeproof. It comes from Zakhara, the Land of Fate, in Toril's southern hemisphere. You allow the Shadow of Your Heart to be put in a gem by the casting wizard. If the gem (which cannot be magically protected) is destroyed, it kills you, no save. But ... So long as that gem stays intact and the SYH remains within, you have unlimited hit points. Period. Infinite hit points. Every 10 points you drop below 0, your Charisma drops by 1 point, but otherwise you are not harmed. You *cannot* be incapacitated by a weapons blow. If your eyes are gouged out, you can still see. If your ears are cut off, you can still hear. If your arm or leg is severed, you can (presumably as a Full Round Action, but perhaps as a Standard Action or even a Swift Action) put it right back on, and it grafts instantly. Ditto your head (although that would most certainly be a Full Round Action ...) You feel no pain if wounded, although you know you're wounded. If you contract a disease, it causes no discomfort and can neither kill nor incapacitate you (you might run around black as night from the Plague, but aside from being contagious no other problems would accrue.) You can still die from poison (but not poisoning of the body from disease.) An assassin's poison will still get you. Green slime can still devour you whole (leading to a Lifeproofed green slime ... ick ...) Looking at a nymph can still blind or kill you. A dryad can still charm you and take you away (or something far less pleasant can charm you and ...) Death magic still affects you. When Lord Soth points his finger and utters Power Word Kill, you still die. You can still be buried alive in rocks or mud or water and be rendered helpless. You won't suffocate or suffer oxygen deprivation problems. Your brain cannot be addled from such things (poison gas will addle it, but not suffocation.) The spell lasts forever, unless the gem is broken. So imagine that the Queen of the Elves and her mages throw Lifeproof on every Elf of the Realm. Reality is turned upside down. Every elf, now has the invincibility of the Frenzied Berserker while Frenzied, only it's permanent and no Frenzy is required. Suddenly, elves are a terror to all. They would make Feanor and his Noldor look like weaklings in comparison. These elves would slay Glaurung, wipe the floor with those balrogs, kill those endless millions of orcs. Morgoth, if he were smart, would shut the doors of Angband with a bang and hide in his deepest dungeons. Or, better yet, get Ungoliant to hide him in her webbing. All because of one little 7th level spell, out of one supplement out of countless supplements, out of one edition of D&D out of five editions. Imagine that even a single elf girl had the High Magic spell known as Nymph's Aura up in addition to Lifeproof. She is standing inside Minas Tirith. And here comes the Morgul Host, 60,000 orcs and Haradrim and 9 Nazgul. She walks to the wall, casts off her clothing, and throws Nymph's Aura. This 2nd Edition spell is Line of Sight. Considering saving throw difficulties, about half of the Morgul Host, including one or two of the Nazgul and their beasts, go down instantly. In the subsequent rounds, those coming up to see what happened see the girl, and half of them die also. The smart ones retreat, and soon the remnant of the Host is back beyond the Causeway Forts. Now some poor soul must go to Sauron and tell him that some slip of a girl destroyed his beautiful army. Any volunteers? :) Even the first level Regenerate spell (from Polyhedron #28) makes a world of difference if the elves have it. For now, after the battle, they are all still alive, and many of their enemies are not. Agnakoks come from the Complete Book of Mages. So if the elves are magic inclined, why not make them Agnakoks, and state Temperate Forest as a horrendous place? Because, after all, it is. If elves are going to live in the woods, we might as well make them *comfortable* there. Granting them Agnakok powers does that. Agnakoks have alterations in their appearance from the norm ... which is why elves have pointy ears! And which is why elves come in different flavors like gold, silver, green (literally), blue, purple, pure white, and pure black. Within the Game Mechanics, within the Rules, are all the answers a DM could ever need to fix elves, to make elves competitive and more competitive with the other races. Background information (what you'all call Fluff) can be added as needed. Play human? A little, yes. Maybe even a lot. (Otherwise, we humans couldn't rp elves at all, could we?) Play with the rules to find a winning combination? Absolutely and all the time. They say elves are smart, with around 15 Intelligence being average (150 IQ.) If that is true, and if elves are magically inclined, there is no question that they use it to win. And since this falls under the complicated Rules for Spells and Feats and Prestige Classes, it is to those rules the elves must look for supremacy! I would daresay, then, that every elf has his or her Player's Handbook, and a host of other supplements and gaming magazines, on hand. Reading them is compulsory. Using what is learned therein is most mandatory! [/QUOTE]
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