The Relic Hunters - Planescape 3E

[drunkadelic]

Before the continent shaking battles at the end of the War of Six Banners… before the technocracy of Tenimus arose from the Amethyst Sea… before even the hero Galimus slew the last of the ancient Sky Wyrms, ending their reign since time immemorial on the world of Axis. Before all of this, there were the planes.

In the planes, both miracles and atrocities happen every day that would bring even the most hardened hero to his knees in joy or despair.

They are the playgrounds of the Gods themselves.

It is here that the story is set.

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Hello all, it's been a while since I've ran a story hour, but I finally felt it was time to throw my DM hat back into the ring.

The following story is based upon a psuedo-homebrew campaign i'm running right now using the Planar Traveller's Handbook/Manual of The Planes/Old Planescape material.

The world serving as the prime material is a homebrew world called Axis, the cosmology of Axis is the great wheel from Manual of the Planes, in it's entirety.

I've allowed the players almost total choice in character/class combinations, using everything from the PhB to Eberron to Arcana Unearthed to choose. Even Savage Species classes were offered, as the primary setting of this story was to be planar, I wanted a large variety of races/classes to emphasis the amount of diversity in the planes themselves. I also let the players create any character with a a starting ECL of 5. When the dust cleared the character sheets, we were left with:

Kali: A Litorian (AU) Druid - Level 5
Bumbleton: A Halfling Bard - Level 5
Alanis: A Tiefling Unfettered (AU) - Level 4
Mullerby: A Gnomish Artificer (Eberron) - Level 5

I will try to provide links to character sheets as soon as possible.

 

[drunkadelic]

On the prime, in a small Halfling village in the principality of Forestreach, Bumbleton Humbleberry is quite drunk. Sitting at the polished bar of his cousin Marlowe’s tavern, he sighs into his stout and swings his feet over to the ground. Launching himself forward at a stumbling pace through the bar and then out the side door, he finds himself smacked into the familiar door of the outhouse. While attending to business, Bumbleton is reminded once again of his secret burden…

(Flashback Mode On)

Walking through the forest between Ironsgate and Hillsmark, Bumbleton decided to shag off the main path for a bit and enjoy a quick pipe and nap. Shading himself under the branches of an elm tree, he filled his pipe and began to relax. Using a simple cantrip he learned long ago from a traveling magus, a small flame appears at the end of his finger, and he lights the pipe, inhaling deeply the sweet smoke of his cousin Honeybuster’s prized crop. Waving his finger out and blowing a smoke ring into the air, Bumbleton sinks low against the trunk of the elm and pulls his hat brim low. Moments later, he is blissfully napping. His ceramic pipe falls from his lips and onto the ground below. Embers from the bowl meet a small bank of dried leaves against the trunk of the tree he’s napping against and spring to life in flame.

Stirring from a dream about meat pies and honey mead, Bumbleton realizes that there are two things very, very wrong.

1) There is a beautiful woman screaming at him.

2) He is on fire.

As much of a shock that the former was, it was the latter that finally made him shake off his lethargy and leap to his feet. Remembering an old gnomish rhyme that the inventors chanted when similarly engulfed, Bumbleton stops, drops, and rolls on the ground, extinguishing his trousers, but setting other small piles of leaves aflame. This intensifies the woman’s screaming.

“Are you a foe of nature or are you just plain stupid?” exclaims the woman in outrage.

“Wha-what, oh damn… FIRE!” stutters the Halfling.

“Don’t just stand there, do something you pint-sized dolt!”

Thinking quickly, Bumbleton grabs his waterskin and dumps it out on the few leaf piles that have caught on fire, extinguishing them into a mucky soup of ash and dry leaf. With the danger of burning down the forest averted, he sighs and turns to the woman.

“Glad that’s all taken care of. Now then milady, Bumbleton Humbleberry, entertainer at large.” He bows low, removing his jaunty hat. “How may I be of service?”

Scowling, the woman replies, “You have damaged my tree, you fur-footed, thick-skulled, short stack. I will expect full and immediate recompense.”

“Your tree? Milady I beg your pardon, but this forest belongs to the royal family and is used as a trade route between my village of Hillsmark and the human town of Ironsgate.”

“Don’t you realize what I am, you malodorous ninny? I’m a Dryad, keeper of this forest, and the tree you singed with your irresponsible napping was my home!”

A look of excitement and fear begins to creep over Bumbleton as he begins to realize the implications of his actions.

“Please, fair maiden of the wood, please don’t turn me into some kind of toad or lizard, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Forgive me, you verdant beauty, please.”

The dryad sighs and says to the prone hobbit, “Get up, you. I’m not going to turn you into a lizard, but I do expect recompense. There is a pair of lumberjacks on the eastern side of this wood, and they are cutting too much, too quickly. Convince them to replant what they cut, and I will consider everything water under the bridge.”

A few days later, after successfully convincing the lumberjacks to replant trees, explaining the benefits of tree farming instead of deforestation, Bumbleton once again approached the Dryad’s tree.

“Oh mighty mistress of the woods, I have humbly performed your task and once again beseech your grace for forgiveness.”

A voice speaks to Bumbleton like a whisper on the wind.

“Enough of your brown-nosery. Thank you for your assistance. I have but one more proposition for you. The times are changing, Halfling. The marches of man across our world seems unto me but as a tidal wave crashing against the shores. With their rapid growth, their “science” and their aggressive attitudes towards nature, it seems as if quiet groves like this might someday be only a fading memory. I would ask of you, and your kin, who have always lived in balance with these lands to protect my grove. I understand that you too have a predicament with the machinations of man. The Archduke Waltonshire is planning to annex your village and place you under his jurisdiction should you fail to come up with the appropriate amount of collateral to purchase his claim to your lands. If you, acting as a representative for your village swears to me that you shall protect this wood, then I shall provide you with the means to purchase the rights to your land.”

Bumbleton inhales deeply as he weighs this in his mind. “You honor us all with your wisdom, Madam. I, as an agent of my people, accept your offer.”

“Then search under the stump 20 paces to your west, it is there that the final treasures of the wood elves who used to live in these woods rests. I should be more than enough to save your village.”

The wind stops.

Scurrying back to his home, backpack full of ancient elven gold and jewels, Bumbleton couldn’t be more excited if he tried. Immediately he begins to think of the party he will throw in his own honor when he announces that he will save the village, and all that the people have to do is watch the forest. “Pshaw,” thinks Bumbleton, “We were gonna do that anyhow.”

As the party began and the announcements were made, the “Savior” of Hillsmark began what became known as one of the largest and longest lasting parties in all of the cosmos. The ale flowed like water, and nowhere in the village of Hillsmark was there an unhappy face. The grand party lasted 16 days history will remember, and when the haze finally cleared, Bumbleton awoke in someone’s field, missing his shirt.

As he staggered back to his cottage, head throbbing in response to his revelry, a human on horseback rode up to him along the road.

“Hail, Master Hobbit.” Exclaimed the armed and armored rider.”

“Good day to you, Sir Knight.” Replied Bumbleton

“I seek Master Bumbleton Humbleberry of Hillsmark, would you know where I could find him?”

“I am he, good sir.”

“Verily! I am Sir Oswald, Knight of his grace the Archduke Waltonshire. I am here to receive the payment against the land claim. If you would be so kind.”

“Certainly, I was wondering when you would arrive. If you would please excuse my disheveled appearance and return with me to my home.”

The Knight nods and dismounts, walking along the path with Bumbleton. As the two come to Bumbleton’s home, the Halfling goes inside to get the locked chest under his floor that he had been keeping the elven treasure. As he excitedly opens the lock and undoes the latches to the chest, he gasps in horror as he realizes… the money is gone.

(Flashback Mode Off)

Sighing at his misfortune, Bumbleton begins to pull up his trousers and prepares to crawl back inside the bottle he’s been in since the money had been lost. A week has passed and he has still not found trace of the treasure, or even told anyone that he had lost it. Just about that time however, a grinning blue gentleman stuck his head through the privy wall and exclaimed with the kind of temperament that only a dyed-in-the-blood merchant can possess….

“Hello!”

(Next time: More character Backstory.)

 

[drunkadelic]

From the diary of Alanis - Tiefling at Large:

My father was a simple farmer in a rural gate town in The Outlands, met my mother while she was fleeing from people’s prejudices about being a Succubus and all. She seduced him while he was hiding her and became pregnant. After I was born she left during the night leaving my father to raise me. Neighbors found out my heritage and became nervous. Father continued to defend me and tried to raise me right.
I finally ran away to Sigil at age 14, from there I began to explore the pathways to the other planes. Along my travels I met a retired warrior who observed my abilities and decided to teach me how to become a great fighter myself. She became the only being I trusted until she found a way to gain from my mother’s linage. My master tried to turn me over to the Dustmen for a reward. I avoided be captured by convincing a stupid prime that I was a great heroine and would return with him to protect his village from a monster that was terrorizing them. The dumb ‘berk used his entire village’s savings, somewhere around 50 large to buy the dusties off. Once arriving in his village I went about my way telling great tales of my own bravery and strength, once all the simple primes were convinced and had the utmost faith that I was their savior, come to kill their nightmarish beast, thus saving the day, blah blah blah.
“Forget that crap,” I thought, “You can hope for salvation in this hand, and dump excrement in the other….”
So yes I ran, why should I care about other people’s problems, especially a group of no-name villagers from some backwoods town on the prime. Life was going well until a few scrappy heroes caught up with me. On behalf of the village I screwed over, they had been busy tracking down my poor ailing father and was holding him hostage. So I had a choice to repay the money that those dumb berks had paid to free me from the dusties or to let my dear old dad to be lost for eternity.
Roundabouts that time, some shifty mercane thought he'd pop in and offer me some kinda "deal." Wasn't much of a deal if you ask me, I be his slave until he decides he's profited enough off my infernal ass, and he pays the tab for my dad's release. What could I do? What a time to be having a conscience.

(Next time: yet more character backstory!)

 

[drunkadelic]

Kali Majicou Baxt
Litorian Druid

When Kali was born the unnatural color black, the tribe felt that she was bad luck – bibaxt. Reluctantly, it was decided to allow her mother to raise her within the tribe until she was able to survive on her own. So, Kali developed an aversion to others; she feels much better on her own or with people she knows and respects – there aren’t many. She will travel with others, but she does not make friends easily, and has only ever truly trusted one person, the Half-Elven Greenbond Ravion Amberwolf.

Ravion was also a solitary lover of nature, but while Kali was fascinated by animals, Ravion cared more for plants. They found a common cause in the desire to protect Nature from the destruction of “progress”. Ravion was heir to a forested land, and his family was well-known for their protectiveness of the forest and its wildlife. Ravion used his family’s influence and wealth and bought several “performing” animals from circuses and kept them safe in his family’s land.

Ravion, the last of his line, died during the magical plague engineered by the cult of Aladaster 6 years ago, leaving the Amberwolf land to Kali in his final rites. Maintainance of the property means money, something Kali never bothered with before. If she does not come up with sufficient funds to keep the land, however, she will be forced to sell it – and the animals living on it. The local ruler, Arch Duke Galthan, has expressed an interest in the land as a hunting reserve. No one else wishes to have it, so Kali must find the money to keep it herself. Kali sees the protection of this land and its occupants as a lifedebt to the only true friend she ever had.

Just about the time when Kali felt she had no other options... an emaciated blue-hued gentleman emerged from a tree...

(Next time: last character backstory, I promise!)

 

[drunkadelic]

Mullarby Longnose opened his eyes for a second and felt a bit of relief as the dark still surrounded him. Gasping for breath and almost wretching from the pungent stench that filled his nostrils, his muscles relaxed as he sank a little farther into his tight surroundings. “How very peculiar that it has come to this.” Thought the gasping gnome. “It all started with that wondrous idea I had two weeks ago.”

In the workshop of Tipnoggin Highhat, in the sprawling metropolis of Indas all is quiet. Mullarby Longnose sits behind a desk in the afternoon heat, minding the store while his boss, the namesake owner, is out enjoying one of his four hour lunches. The dozing gnome is suddenly awakened by the trademark jingle of bells as a customer enters the store.

“Hello sir, can I help you?” quips Mullarby almost robotically.

“I’m looking for the person responsible for this.” A tan-skinned gentleman holds up a small sign that states:

GENIUS TECHNICAL MIND LOOKING TO PROVIDE ENTERPRISING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES TO MOTIVATED PARTNERS

NO INVENTION TO OUTRAGEOUS, MECHANICAL AND MAGICAL MEANS POSE NO PROBLEM. CONTACT MULLARBY – TIPNOGGIN’S CLOCKS – ARCHER ST.

“Can you tell me where to find this Mullarby?” asks the tan-skinned man.

“Of course, you see. He is me! I am the genius technical inventor of which you inquire.” Beams the proud gnome.

“Then let us step into the back and discuss business.”

After accepting the contract to build 50 spheres of darkness and silence for the agreeable fellow from some organization called the “Backalley Knives” or whatever the devil they called themselves, Mullarby set to work in his free time, crafting with care and precision the 50 one-inch spheres, that when cast down and broken, would cast both the darkness and silence spells. Quite an ingenious idea he had come up with, to help these nice gentlemen and their upstart new business. A night time moving service, comes in with the spheres, moves you while you sleep and you sleep right on through the night. What an enterprising business idea! Mullarby wished he had thought of it himself.

On the trial run of the devices, all was well. Mullarby cast a sphere down and sure enough at the spot he tossed it, there was created a 10 foot radius of silence and darkness.

After the delivery, Mullarby received his payment and settled into his hammock in the store room of his cousin’s store. However, on the trial run of the Backalley knives – all was not well. After casting their spheres down and being hidden in a radius of darkness and silence, the perpetrators suddenly had a harsh epiphany. If they are in the epicenter of a 10’ radius of absolute magical darkness and silence… how in the nine hells are they going to be able to see or hear well enough to rob a house?

As the city guard dragged the Backalley knives to the prison, their leader cursed Mullarby’s name and promised revenge, offering a 50,000 gold piece reward to the person who killed the absent-minded artificer.

Back in Mullarby’s trash can, a strange blue head erupts from a pile of discarded rotting fruit.

“Hello!”

(next time: the game gets underway!)

 

[drunkadelic]

In the Outlands, atop the great spire as we all know is the city of Sigil. Some people call it the hub of the universe, and those people might be right. In any case, most people who know of Sigil know that it is a place where everything is sold. Information, property, even lives. It is not suprising then, that the largest and most reputable of all the trader race known as the Mercanes has the entrance to his multidimensional warehouse of magical artifacts and goods located in the city. Right past the Happy Orc bakery, between Chester the Yuan-ti’s tattoo parlour and the Grinning Balor Bar and Grill lies the entrance to Arthuss’ Arcane. Offering 24 hour a day, every day service, Arthuss has built the reputation of being the best not only because of his gigantic inventory set in a paradimensional demiplane – but because of the mystery surrounding one being’s almost supernatural ability to have just the right thing at just the right time, at just the right price, for each and every one of his millions of customers.



Great salesmen aren’t trained… they are born.



In the crystal office suspended at the top of the spherical demiplane, A litorian, a tiefling, and a Halfling all sit in giant overstuffed chairs, eyeing one another with suspicion, while a simple man in grey clothing stands attendant next to a table with coffee, various juices, and a very tempting platter of scones.



Minutes pass in tense silence. Jambus, the attendant sighs. Finally the Halfling breaks the silence.



“Greetings ladies, Brumbleton Humbleberry at your service.”



Silence.



“My, these scones are quite delicious.”



Silence.



“Say, does anyone know what time it is?”



Silence.



“Well bugger this. All I know is that one minute I’m attending to some urgent business, then the next thing I know some blue-headed freak is telling me he can solve all my financial problems. He asks me to step through a glowing doorway, and the next thing I know I’m in glass room with three mutes, some delicious scones, and a very tall desk. When I wake up, this will be a hell of a thing to tell Marlowe.”



“You’re very much awake, twit.” Mocks the tiefling, her voice like poisoned honey.



“Oh. Well then, would anyone like some rum?”



Jambus the attendant looks saddened and turns to the door at the back of the office. He looks at the waterclock on the desk and sighs.



“So why are you here…and what’s the deal with your eyes?” Brumbleton asks the snide Tiefling.



“Same as you. I was in a tight jam, and the Merc offered me a solution. As for my eyes, well – if you don’t know, Berk – I’m a tiefling. Demon born, ya see. With all the powers of the Abyss at my command. Quake and tremble mortal, blah blah blah.”



“Do you have a name, oh fierce demon goddess?”



“Alanis, but don’t say it often, you might get it dirty, being that close to the ground.”



“And what about you, oh feline princess? Hah, cat got your tongue?”



The litorian growls a little bit and mutters. “Call me Kali – I also was offered assistance by the blue skinned man.”



Other than the failed attempts of Brumble to get rum from his empty flask, silence resumes until the unfamiliar popping noise of an extraplanar gate opening nearby breaks it. Out from the back door, comes in the familiar form of the blue skinned gentleman.



“Greetings friends!” he exclaims in a tone as smooth as cream. “I expect you all were in stellar care here with Jambus. He might not say much, due to the drow cutting his tongue out, but you’ll find he is a very capable and caring individual and he makes a hell of a scone. Now then, down to business. For those of you who do not know, my name is Arthuss. I am a mercane, and if you do not know of my race, let me briefly explain it to you in the non boring way. My race are natural merchants – we travel the planes hawking wares wherever they are needed. Personally, I’ve traveled the planes for over two thousand years, and I’ve grown tired of much of the unpredictability of environment, and have decided to open the store in which you presently sit. Much to my amazement, my profits have grown and grown from this location and many consider me the largest merchant of things magical in all of the universe. I don’t know how I feel about that, but nevertheless. Let’s get down to real business. Each of you are here because you are in a financial bind. I am here because I have a financial surplus, yet am in a services bind. Basically, as a merchant of the fantastic, I need people to retrieve merchandise for me to sell. I am far too busy with my own administration of this place to go out and adventure like I used to. So, I employ several groups of people, I call them my field teams to go out on carefully researched missions and carry out my business. Basically, I am offering you a contract. You each have a debt of about 50,000 gold pieces. I am willing to purchase that debt immediately, to prevent the unfortunate happenstances of your various financial quandaries – to ensure your service to me until said debt is paid off through means of employment to me.”



Boggled, Brumbleton asks, “In common please?”



“Hah. Fine. I will pay each of your debts personally immediately if you will agree to work off your debt with me at your own pace by retrieving magical items, selling them to me for a reduced price for me to sell to my customers.”



The three consider this.



After some logistical questions and an assurance by Kali that she will do nothing to pervert nature – the three sign their contracts. They are then escorted by Jambus back out into the streets of Sigil and are shown into the apartments above the oak door that serves as the portal to Arthuss’ Arcane. In a small envelope is a letter from Arthuss thanking them for their pledge to service, with instructions that a quick mission is lining itself up soon, and that soon there might be one or two more members joining their team. Also enclosed are iron keys with the instructions that they are to be used to access Arthuss’ portals for business use.



The three look at one another and shrug, preparing themselves for a night of sleep in their new abode.



(next session: to the action!)

 

[drunkadelic]

Greetings all. At current I am about 3 sessions behind in the story hour, hoping to catch up this week while work is slow. I am also planning on scanning in the characters sheets as PDF and putting them in the Rogue's Gallery. Thanks for stopping by!

--------------------------------------------
After a good night's sleep in the apartments above the gate to Arthuss' demiplane store in Sigil, the party wakes up and is astounded to find a nice array of breakfast items already prepared for them. Amidst the various delicacies is a simple note asking the party to come downstairs at their earliest convienience. The party chows down on a nice breakfast, Brumbleton wraps a few scones up in a napkin and crams it in his bag, and they set out for the magic portal entrance to the shop.

Upon arriving, they see Arthuss demonstrating a wicked looking battle-axe to some kind of winged, scaly customer. Upon seeing their entry, Arthuss waves the party up towards his office, and resumes making the sale. A few minutes later, he joins the party in his crystal office.

"I trust you all found your accomodations to your liking?" quips Arthuss.
"Truly a wonderous thing to have breakfast awaiting you. They were excellent." remarks Brumbleton, the self-appointed party spokesperson.
"Indeed. Are you all ready for your first assignment?" The party nods. "Recently I sold a particular item, a trident that enabled the user to breathe underwater and have control over some of the aquatic denizens of the deep. Word has it that it was stolen from my customer by some sea elf calling herself the Duchess of the Deep. Normally I don't bother recovering stolen items, but this particular customer has brought me much business in the past, and sending out a small expedition to retrieve it would certainly be in everyone's best interest. Our reports have placed this Duchess on the prime material plane, in a cave, on a small, uninhabited little coast. Her power is minimal, and from what our divinations could glean, you shouldn't encounter any suprises that a group of your power couldn't handle. To assist in this mission I've asked another of my agents, Darius to assist you. I am currently in the process of filling a fourth spot in your group, however the gnome has been hard to locate. Nevertheless, Darius here is a bit sullen, but a fine sorceror of some power. Also, here are some magical nose plugs that will allow you to breath underwater for 2 hours a day if the need neccesitates itself. Are there any other questions?"

Perhaps it's the look of wonder given to the magical noseplugs, or perhaps it's just the party's silent confidence of their abilities, but nobody says a word.

"Very well then. When you are ready, please exit the warehouse, and you will find yourself near the cave that our divinations have placed the trident in. Good luck."

The party descends the stairs from Arthuss' office and at the bottom is stopped by Jambus, the mute servant/bodyguard of Arthuss. He has 3 parcels, one for each of the primary party members. Each of the parcels has a card on them addressed to one of the party members.

Alanis takes her package first, a long slender wooden case. Inside is a very ornately decorated bastard sword, inlaid with a silver filigree around the pommel and handle. The card states: "This sword was once the property of D'Kar the Slayer - Hero of Gehenna. It was enchanted in the common era, year 941 by a wizard by the name of Silas. It's enchantment is minor, (+1) but the magic is secured firmly. May it serve you well" - Arthuss

Brumbleton then takes his package, a small hatbox. Inside is a brass circlet, etched into the band is a motif of lutes and horns. The card reads: "This circlet was crafted by the Teloren Bard's Guild in the common era, year 913. It was given as a gift by the guild to it's oldest member, "Ramblin' " Jackson Oldbarrow. The enchantment on it increases the ability of the wearer to perform acts of a social nature.(+1 to charisma based skill checks) Take care of it - "Arthuss"

The final package goes to Kali. It is a rather large and flat box, and inside is a mahogany colored suit of leather armor. The card reads: "In the service of nature, do the guardians walk the path of balance" - this was once the motto of the Oakenguard Militia, a group of rangers who operated in the Beastlands. This suit of armor was standard issue of their numbers until it was destroyed in common era, year 812 by a group of Devils who had entered a malfunctioning portal thinking to go join their bretheren in the Blood War. Although the wearer of this particular armor wasn't so lucky, the enchantment on it provides more protection than the normal sort of armor of this type (+1) and once per day, it generates 1d4 goodberries which must be consumed immediately or the magic fades from them. May you use it wisely. - Arthuss"

After donning their gifts, the party (plus Darius) heads out the portal.

Instead of the normal busy street in Sigil, the party finds themselves standing on a rocky precipice on a temperate coastline. Perhaps 200 feet to the north is the entrance to a small cave, carved right into the seaside rock.

"I will never, ever get used to this magicking about, here one minute, there the next. It's too much for my poor soul to comprehend." exclaims Brumbleton.
"Oh, you get used to it." smirks Darius.

(next time: Into the cave!)

 

[drunkadelic]

Gathering outside of the sea cave, the party makes preperations to see in the inky blackness. Alanis decides to take point, making natural advantage of her darkvision and her family heirloom - a chain shirt of silent moves. The remainder of the party stays 60 feet back, using a rock with light cast on it. Stealth is somewhat difficult, due to the 4-5 inches of water standing in the cave tunnel. Progressing down the tunnel ahead of the party Alanis spots a blurry form moving in the darkness right on the field of her darkvision. Inching up ever so slightly, she makes out the sleeping form of some kind of bipedal fish creature. Sneaking back to the party, she relays this information, and the party readies for battle. No mis-steps on the parties sneaking, and a sleep spell cast by Darius equals 4 dead fishmen. Thanks, coup-de-grace!

Searching the room turned up nothing interesting save the spears of coral that were once weapons of the fishmen.

Moving ahead again, Alanis finds that the water level in the tunnel is once again rising, after 40 feet of steady decline, it has risen from her ankles to her feet. However, even this disturbance doesn't keep her from noticing a small crack at the top of the wall that appears to be a caved in fork of the tunnel. Using her wild shape ability, Kali transforms into an amphibious snake, and climbs up over the debris and through the hole. Kali finds a battered old sea chest, but is unable to do anything about it while in snake form. She climbs back over the rocks, wild shapes back into her normal form, and tells the party that she found nothing.

Finally the tunnel opens up into a small room with three statues arranged in a triangular pattern. The two against the back wall look much like elves, although the feet are webbed. The statue in the middle of the room is of an armed knight, sword in one hand, and bucket in the other. After a thourough search and a Detect Magic from Darius, the party has determined that the statues in the back, the elven looking ones, are slightly magical. The figure in the center of the room bears no enchantments. Investigating the bucket held by the center figure, Bumbleton places one of the biscuits he had been packing around into the pail.

CREAKKKKKKKKKK - the wall between the two statues on the wall begins to open up slightly. 5 biscuits, 3 rocks, and some water later, the pail has been filled enough to allow the party to proceed through the doors. Strangely enough, the enchanted elf statues remain silent as they pass through the open door.

Into this new hallway, Alanis resumes her on-point status, and almost yelps as she places a foot forward and almost falls into the brink. The passage here drops down suddenly, and for the party to continue, they will have to submerge themselves. Securing their nose plugs of water breathing into their nostrils, the party plunges down into the black, murky water.

Movement is slow going for the party, but thankfully, they are able to navigate the long underwater passage due to their noseplugs. Finding a ramp upward that finally brings them back above water, the party takes a moment to dry off and reorganize. Currently they stand in the center of a crescent room, with the opening back down into the water on the flat wall. Ahead of them is another door, constructed out of coral. Kali's Detect Magic shows it as a normal door, and using the tried and true method of adventuring, Alanis' kick knocks the door off the hinges - and lo! Evil awaits.

Smirking off in the distance of this dimly lit round room is a green skinned sea elf, sitting on a throne seemingly made from a backbone, caressing a trident. The Duchess of the Deep, I presume?

The suprised adventurers are caught off guard by the Duchess summoning a large shark. The waist deep water in the room makes the adventurers easy prey, and it is only Alanis' armor that saves her from the razor sharp teeth of the Duchess' new pet. Kali, undaunted steps forward and summons her own shark, instructing it to "eat that tasty elf at the back of the room." The shark complies and nips the Duchess, barely scraping by her defenses.

Darius steps into the room and gives the Duchess a special insight into the pride of most freshly rolled first level arcane casters, as 3 magic missles fly squarely into her chest. Next, the Duchess uses the trident to turn the summoned shark back onto Kali, and she moves towards a large lever on the western wall.

Brumbleton uses this time to swim up to the shark that is facing Alanis and give it a proper shanking with his short sword. Alanis takes this as her cue, and eviscerates the summoned shark with her magical bastard sword.

Kali takes her time to get into a better position, moving closer to Brumbleton and Alanis in case her healing is needed. Darius makes an initial step towards the "one trick pony" title by launching another salvo of magic missles at the Duchess. Looking all the worse for wear, the duchess throws the switch and the back wall begins to open, flooding the little room. With her remaining action she Wild Shapes into an octopus, healing a small amount of the damage that the heroes have inflicted upon her.

Brumbleton closes with the second shark and sends it to Davy Jones' locker with a well placed (critical) short sword stab. Alanis charges forward through the rising water and leaps forward to attack the now octupus-formed Duchess, cutting off a few legs in the process. Kali closes her eyes and casts entangle hoping that the scant amounts of seaweed here will be sufficient to fulfill the spell's requirments.

GRAB!

It was. Wounded and entangled, the Duchess sprays a cloud of ink and tries to get away. But it's hard to escape a fireball. As the red pellet explodes near her, the water turns to steam and boils the Duchess alive.

Octopus Sushi anyone?

The heroes grab the trident and stand happily in the now fully underwater room. Perhaps their want to escape the lair before the magics of their noseplugs wear out, or perhaps their player's rustiness at dungeon crawling, but the unlooted body of the duchess is left to the mercy of the sea, as the heroes use their magical keys from arthuss to call a portal back to his office.

Dripping, and smelling slightly of fish, the heroes appear in the crystal office. Arthuss looks up from his paper work and smiles at the drenched party.

"I trust that went well."

(next time: Djinnis, Fireworks, and the addition of a new party member! <gasp!> )

 

[drunkadelic]

After the party returned the trident to Arthuss, he made the appropriate deductions from their debts to him. After some small talk, they (minus their temporary sorceror) returned the their spartan apartments above the portal in Sigil. A few days later, there was a knock at the door. Suprised, Bumbleton traipsed over to the door, and opened it just a crack to see who it might be.

"Mmmm yes, hello! Could you let me in please? These bags are quite heavy!" exclaims a beardy little gnome.

Pulling the latch back and opening the door wide, Bumbleton is taken aback not at the gnome, but at the huge amounts of labratory equipment that he has behind him in the hall.

"Wh-wh, who are ya, and what's all this, eh?" stammers the beleaguered halfling.
"Mullarby Longnose, at your service. This is my workshop... well, you see, not in its current form. I was hoping to set it up and make a new workshop, but one couldn't very well just have a space with no tools, oh my no, you see, i believe the whole enterprise is vital on not just the equipment or the parts, but yet, the combination of these two thi...."
"Stop! Please, good gnome. Tell me why you are here, at this door, and for what purpose."
"Oh! Well, the Mercane sent me. He says i'm to live here and be on your "team."
"Ah, a new member of our team. Very well. So tell me, Mullarby, right? What is it that you do?"
"Um, what do you mean? I pretty much do the same things that all gnomes do. Eat, breathe...."
"No! What is your profession? I am a bard, the redhead over there is right vicious with a sword, and the cat is one of those druids."
"Oh! Well i suppose my profession is a crafter of magical items. I've made most of the wands here in my holster. I do enjoy crafting things....so much nicer if they're for yourself. You get to add all the little kinds of touches that you enjoy, and nobody mistakes theirs for yours, oh no. I do....."

Bumbleton tunes the long-winded gnome out and thinks to himself. "It's going to be a long day...."

--------------------------------------------------------

Most of the week was spent setting up the apartments to everyone's liking. Mullarby's room was crowded with equipment, and the only furniture in his room other than a small stool was his old trusty hammock, nailed to the walls between his Thaumoscope and his Benson's Magical Burner.

Kali preferred to keep her room unadulterated, only bringing in a small razorvine cutting from outside. She had heard of many expert horticulturists styling the razorvine to grow in a certain manner like bonsai trees. Well, bonsai trees that could cut your thumb off.

Bumbleton took a day and travelled back to his home on the prime, and was rewarded with a long party. Afterwards, he announced his plans to leave on an adventure, and requested only to take some of his favorite furnishings from his home.

Alanis usually fell asleep on the couch in the common room, stating that "I want to be the first line of defense if anyone comes through that door." In reality, Alanis had never been afforded the opportunity to sleep on a real feather bed, and found it quite uncomfortable. She preferred the hard couch.

Near the end of the week, another knock was heard at the door. Alanis answered it and found Jambus, the mute servant of Arthuss standing there, with a sealed envelope. The hulking human handed her the envelope, bowed, and headed back down the stairs. Gathering the party, they open the envelope to find another brief message in the increasingly familiar script of their six fingered benefactor.

Dearest Friends,

I hope you have had a nice rest since your last mission. I have a new mission for you that requires your extended absence. Please prepare your personal effects and adventure equipment for a mission that could last a week or so. Report to the office when you are ready, and I will debrief you.

-Arthuss

-------------------------------------------------------

Standing in the crystal office yet again, the adventurers are hungrily munching on Jambus' scones and listening to Arthuss explain the details of their next mission.

"This mission is one of utmost importance. I trust that most of you who inhabit the prime material have heard of the legend about the sky-wyrms and how the first great human hero Galimus slew them, ending the slavery of all the elder races of the world. Well, there is some fiction in that fact, and some fact in that fiction. At one time there was a great wyrm that opressed a very large area of one of the continents on the prime. His name was Tyro. A group of adventurers, led by a human did in fact kill the beast, ending the opression. In the spoils of that battle, the heroes carved out the wyrms eye as a trophy, to prove to the world their victory. However, there was more than meets the eye, heh heh. Supposedly, the evil of Tyro carried on throughout death, and the eye became cursed, bringing great peril to those who possessed it. Those in proximity to it were prone to nightmares, strange prophetic visions of their own demise, and other sundry nasty ailments. Eventually, the orb was entrusted to a Noble Djinni on the plane of Air, for his race was immune to the eye's magic. They sealed it away, and there it has stayed for thousands of years. However, as with any item of such evil, it will always try to find it's way back to people who would use it for malign purpose. We have discovered that an unknown faction has attempted to contact the current Sheik of the Djinni stronghold where the eye was kept, and attempted to purchase it. Fortunately, the Djinn refused, but the threat was made that they were to be attacked if they did not give up the Eye. Although the Djinn believe themselves to possess more than enough power to deflect any attacks, divinations were made, and due to their result, the Djinn have been looking for a new home for the Eye. I have offered to buy it from them and to keep it in my personal vault until the appropriate way to destroy the thing once and for all has been attested to. They used their truth magic on me, agreed, and that's where you come in. I've got this bag with 100000gp in it to purchase the Eye from the Djinn. When you recieve it, place it back into the bag and it will be safe from detection. Bring this back to me as quickly as possible. Those who threatened the Djinn may be in the area. The gate will place you in the nearby village of Everbreeze, who just so happens to be having it's yearly grand bazaar this week. If you could find it in your ability to do so, could you pick up some Elysian Grape Leaves for me? There is an old gypsy vendor dressed all in red who will know what i'm talking about. Anyhow, look for a Jann named Varlon when you are ready to travel to the Sheik's fortress.

Travel swiftly and good luck.

The portal opens, exposing a busy street, with jugglers, merchants, and other fantastic sights.

(next time: The Grand Bazaar!)

 

[drunkadelic]

Don't know if i've got any faithful readers out there or not, but I apologize for the lack of updates. Vacations and Gen Con have put the slowdown on our play time, but here's a mini-update. 2 more updates and we should be caught back up to speed in time for next week's game.
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Chapter 9
The party steps out of the shimmering portal into the busy streets of Everbreeze. Everywhere they look there are creatures of every race imaginable. From the resident Djinn to even celestial and infernal creatures, all seem to be here for the Grand Bazaar. Mullarby is quick to act and darts off into the crowd, no doubt in search of something shiny. Bumbleton takes off after him, hoping to keep the gnome from getting into too much mischief. Alanis and Kail shake their heads and step out of the alleyway into the busy main thoroughfare. Merchants and vendors from almost every nook and cranny of the multiverse have gathered here in this town to hawk their wares. There are Djinnis selling lamps that guarantee a minimum of 3 wishes, Spikers selling all manners of various weaponry, The Red Wizards of Thay have a huge booth selling scrolls and spellbooks, and even the Githyanki have a shop selling relics from the Astral plane. It is to these Gith that Alanis makes her way, having served with a number of them on an astral ship a few years ago. She finds out that this is a big event in the planes, the grand bazaar only happens once every year. The Djinni sultans from all over the plane finance what basically has become the biggest party in the multiverse. Alanis seems excited by this news, and relates it to Kali in the common tongue. The two also find out where the gypsies in red are located to get Arthuss’ grape leaves and where the only inn in town with rooms remaining is located.

For Mullarby however, he is akin to a child in a candy store. Running all over the crowded street, through larger creatures’ legs, and around lines to gawk at whatever shiny trinket garners his interest. Bumbleton is hard pressed to keep him in eyesight, all the crowding and running is just too much for a 5 pipe a day recovering alcoholic with a 20 foot base movement. Fortunately for Bumbleton, Mullarby has stopped at the tent of a particularly shady looking human dealer and as the merchant looks down upon the gnome with a big smile, Mullarby suddenly exclaims:

“HEY BUDDY, DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN GET SOME ILLEGAL LOCKPICKS?”

A dozen creatures look at the gnome with a mixed look of confusion and disgust. The shopkeeper just smiles and repeats in a similar voice.

“THIS SIR, IS A REPUTABLE ESTABLISHMENT *coughcomearoundbackcough* I TAKE OFFENSE AT YOUR ALLEGATIONS. THIS IS A FIREWORKS STORE.”

Not one for subtlety, Mullarby stands there, jaw agape and ponders the statement. Bumbleton and the shopkeeper get the same idea and both grab him and pull him further into the shady merchant’s tent.

After procuring some fireworks and some *Perfectly Legal Fireworks* (aka masterwork Lockpicks) the two set out to find a place to find a refreshing drink.(aka cheap bar) Which just so happens to be located at the inn that has the only available rooms in town, The Sultan’s Rest. What is immediately noticible about the Sultan’s rest is that it is much, much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. What else is immediately recognizable is that Alanis and Kali are already here talking to a large Djinn who happens to be tending bar. Fazed at the display of grandiose magic and exotic furnishing, Bumbleton is stunned. All the majesty in the extra-dimensional inn is lost on Mullarby, as he dashes to the bar, takes a seat and exclaims to the barkeeper:

“HEY BUDDY I HEAR YOUR PEOPLE GRANT WISHES!”
The Djinn laughs deeply and smiles. “If your wish happens to be a frosty cold ale on this hot day, then yes, you are correct!”
“Yes….” Mullarby strokes his small beard, “That is my wish.”

A cold mug of ale appears out of thin air in front of Mullarby.

“BY THE STUBBLY BEARD OF GARL GLITTERGOLD, IT IS TRUE!”

The Djinni laughs again, as the rest of the party groans and sits at the bar. After a few drinks and a light lunch, they head back out to the bazaar. Much enjoyment is had by all, and the group begins to realize that perhaps this situation with the mercane might not be as bad as it’s cracked up to be. They find the old gypsy with the grape leaves and buy Arthus not one, but two jars, a compliment intended to thank him for allowing them the opportunity to come here. The party, minus Kali all get roaringly drunk and all pass out in their rooms at the Sultan’s Rest after the midnight elemental parade.

(Next time: Into the endless sea of air)