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The State of the Union, a barely amusing campaign (NOW without Pics!)
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<blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 7251715" data-attributes="member: 16069"><p><strong>Session #1</strong></p><p></p><p>[ATTACH]96030[/ATTACH]</p><p></p><p><strong>The Union #001: I can make the sound of a distressed goat.</strong></p><p></p><p>Four adventurers (see above) exit Neverwinter (A) on a supply cart full of mining equipment heading for Phandalin (B), a three day journey. Their employer, Gundren Rockseeker (Dwarf Mining Engineer) and his bodyguard Sildar Hallwinter (Human Ex-Guard Captain = Meat-Shield) have gone ahead, travelling on swift horses.</p><p></p><p>The four adventurers have not met previously, a chance to make new friends is soon thwarted when Grimm states that Hellwhip is a "f**king stupid name", relations deteriorate quickly between the pair. It rains all of the next day.</p><p></p><p>On the third day of travel the adventurers encounter the remnants of an ambush- a pair of arrow studded, fly-buzzed, dead horses in the road ahead (C). Grimm checks things out, pissing off Hellwhip the Ranger even more. Seconds later the Paladin is hit by several arrows and is left unconscious and bleeding out on the ground, it seems the ambushers are still around. Zyler, the Priest of Tempus, gets to the Paladin and saves his life. Hellwhip in the meantime manages to kill three of the Goblin ambushers with his deadly accurate bow attacks, after the fight he catches the ‘sleeping’ Paladin up with his exploits. Zalt manages to incinerate a small bush and a distracted squirrel with his Eldritch Blasts- no roll higher than a ‘5’, nice start. The last fleeing Goblin ambusher is run down by Grimm and Zyler- the para-military, heavily armoured version of the Chuckle Brothers (to me, to you).</p><p></p><p>Soon after Zyler states- “That is Gundren’s horse - I never forget horse face”, in his rich Swedish accent, sounding ever-so-slightly retarded. I laughed so loud a little bit of wee came out. In short the two dead horses belonged to Gundren Rockseeker and Sildar Hallwinter, and as Hellwhip states- “naughty word! We ain’t getting paid.” “Unless…” Zalt has an idea.</p><p></p><p>The adventurers find the Goblin ambusher’s trail, actually Grimm finds it- and then after hiding the supply cart the Paladin leads the way. Grimm locates a hidden snare trap en route- this he points out repeatedly to Hellwhip, and anyone else who is listening. Grimm lets it be known that “Rangering is piss simple- it’s just looking for stuff.” Back at the snare trap Zalt states that he can make the "sound of a distressed goat, with my magic". A short while later he explains that the sound of the distressed goat will lure the Goblins to the spot- Skype goes silent for a good long while, consensus is the Warlock is a f**king loon. The adventurers continue along the trail, Grimm manages to find another trap- a pit trap this time, the hefty Paladin dives out of the collapsing hole at the last moment. He’s not so cocky now.</p><p></p><p>[ATTACH]96032[/ATTACH]</p><p></p><p>The trail leads in to a clearing with a cave opening over the far side, a fast running shallow stream exits the cavern, thick vegetation to either side of the opening (D). Zyler spots a pair of Goblin guards in the undergrowth, actually they’re playing pat-a-cake (Stealth check ‘1’). The Priest of Tempus outlines a plan of such implausible intricacy that it is instantly dismissed by all who have the misfortune to hear it. Zyler rolls a ‘1’ on his initiative, Zalt and Grimm manage to conjure higher numbers. The Warlock Eldritch Blasts one of the Goblin guards dead, while Grimm runs screaming at the last fellow and slays it. Job done.</p><p></p><p>First session complete.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Goonalan, post: 7251715, member: 16069"] [B]Session #1[/B] [ATTACH=CONFIG]96030._xfImport[/ATTACH] [B]The Union #001: I can make the sound of a distressed goat.[/B] Four adventurers (see above) exit Neverwinter (A) on a supply cart full of mining equipment heading for Phandalin (B), a three day journey. Their employer, Gundren Rockseeker (Dwarf Mining Engineer) and his bodyguard Sildar Hallwinter (Human Ex-Guard Captain = Meat-Shield) have gone ahead, travelling on swift horses. The four adventurers have not met previously, a chance to make new friends is soon thwarted when Grimm states that Hellwhip is a "f**king stupid name", relations deteriorate quickly between the pair. It rains all of the next day. On the third day of travel the adventurers encounter the remnants of an ambush- a pair of arrow studded, fly-buzzed, dead horses in the road ahead (C). Grimm checks things out, pissing off Hellwhip the Ranger even more. Seconds later the Paladin is hit by several arrows and is left unconscious and bleeding out on the ground, it seems the ambushers are still around. Zyler, the Priest of Tempus, gets to the Paladin and saves his life. Hellwhip in the meantime manages to kill three of the Goblin ambushers with his deadly accurate bow attacks, after the fight he catches the ‘sleeping’ Paladin up with his exploits. Zalt manages to incinerate a small bush and a distracted squirrel with his Eldritch Blasts- no roll higher than a ‘5’, nice start. The last fleeing Goblin ambusher is run down by Grimm and Zyler- the para-military, heavily armoured version of the Chuckle Brothers (to me, to you). Soon after Zyler states- “That is Gundren’s horse - I never forget horse face”, in his rich Swedish accent, sounding ever-so-slightly retarded. I laughed so loud a little bit of wee came out. In short the two dead horses belonged to Gundren Rockseeker and Sildar Hallwinter, and as Hellwhip states- “naughty word! We ain’t getting paid.” “Unless…” Zalt has an idea. The adventurers find the Goblin ambusher’s trail, actually Grimm finds it- and then after hiding the supply cart the Paladin leads the way. Grimm locates a hidden snare trap en route- this he points out repeatedly to Hellwhip, and anyone else who is listening. Grimm lets it be known that “Rangering is piss simple- it’s just looking for stuff.” Back at the snare trap Zalt states that he can make the "sound of a distressed goat, with my magic". A short while later he explains that the sound of the distressed goat will lure the Goblins to the spot- Skype goes silent for a good long while, consensus is the Warlock is a f**king loon. The adventurers continue along the trail, Grimm manages to find another trap- a pit trap this time, the hefty Paladin dives out of the collapsing hole at the last moment. He’s not so cocky now. [ATTACH=CONFIG]96032._xfImport[/ATTACH] The trail leads in to a clearing with a cave opening over the far side, a fast running shallow stream exits the cavern, thick vegetation to either side of the opening (D). Zyler spots a pair of Goblin guards in the undergrowth, actually they’re playing pat-a-cake (Stealth check ‘1’). The Priest of Tempus outlines a plan of such implausible intricacy that it is instantly dismissed by all who have the misfortune to hear it. Zyler rolls a ‘1’ on his initiative, Zalt and Grimm manage to conjure higher numbers. The Warlock Eldritch Blasts one of the Goblin guards dead, while Grimm runs screaming at the last fellow and slays it. Job done. First session complete. [/QUOTE]
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