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<blockquote data-quote="Janx" data-source="post: 5014422" data-attributes="member: 8835"><p>I too am a bit leary of the OP's claimed status, though for different reasons.</p><p></p><p>Firstly, it is commendable that the OP made efforts to help and save a family member's life.</p><p></p><p>It is also commendable that the OP's mother, seeing the end near, took steps to provide an inheritance for her child. A parents goal should always be to not become a burden or setback to their children. Unfortunately, I know of a few families where this ideal is not being held and parents are deliberately trying to leach off their children, rather than being self sufficient when they can.</p><p></p><p>Here's what bother's me about the OP's tale. Firstly, posting about your good deeds can be seen as a form of bragging, something not generally accepted in today's culture. In effect, it is looking for an attaboy, especially as a cold-call. Had there been a thread of "post a good deed you've done" it might be more appropriate.</p><p></p><p>Secondly, the intent of the OP's mother appears to have been to leave her child in good financial standing, because she was old, and knew her time was short. The OP defied that and on multiple instances and is now apparently in serious financial straights.</p><p></p><p>Depending on the nature of the mother's illness, what has happpened is that her suffering has been extended and her savior has been financially ruined. How is this a victory?</p><p></p><p>The reality of all this is much more complex. If you get a call for help, it is right and good to go out and answer it. If you see somebody incompetent about to do a job and put somebody else's life at risk, you work to take them out of that role, and potentially do it yourself.</p><p></p><p>There comes a line, however, where helping somebody should not set you so far back that you cannot climb out again. There are times where sacrificing your very life is worth it. There are just as many other times where sacrificing all you have is just bad decision making.</p><p></p><p>Making a few drives is just time and gas money. That's an effort that is worth the investment. Spending all your money on a 72+ year old who should have medicare/medicaid/social security to assist her medical needs, not as good a use of your resources.</p><p></p><p>My mom died in hospice from cancer at the age of 54, 1500 miles away. So I have made that decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janx, post: 5014422, member: 8835"] I too am a bit leary of the OP's claimed status, though for different reasons. Firstly, it is commendable that the OP made efforts to help and save a family member's life. It is also commendable that the OP's mother, seeing the end near, took steps to provide an inheritance for her child. A parents goal should always be to not become a burden or setback to their children. Unfortunately, I know of a few families where this ideal is not being held and parents are deliberately trying to leach off their children, rather than being self sufficient when they can. Here's what bother's me about the OP's tale. Firstly, posting about your good deeds can be seen as a form of bragging, something not generally accepted in today's culture. In effect, it is looking for an attaboy, especially as a cold-call. Had there been a thread of "post a good deed you've done" it might be more appropriate. Secondly, the intent of the OP's mother appears to have been to leave her child in good financial standing, because she was old, and knew her time was short. The OP defied that and on multiple instances and is now apparently in serious financial straights. Depending on the nature of the mother's illness, what has happpened is that her suffering has been extended and her savior has been financially ruined. How is this a victory? The reality of all this is much more complex. If you get a call for help, it is right and good to go out and answer it. If you see somebody incompetent about to do a job and put somebody else's life at risk, you work to take them out of that role, and potentially do it yourself. There comes a line, however, where helping somebody should not set you so far back that you cannot climb out again. There are times where sacrificing your very life is worth it. There are just as many other times where sacrificing all you have is just bad decision making. Making a few drives is just time and gas money. That's an effort that is worth the investment. Spending all your money on a 72+ year old who should have medicare/medicaid/social security to assist her medical needs, not as good a use of your resources. My mom died in hospice from cancer at the age of 54, 1500 miles away. So I have made that decision. [/QUOTE]
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