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The Untold Adventures of Fap Longwood & Friends!
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<blockquote data-quote="mikeawmids" data-source="post: 8004284" data-attributes="member: 6776411"><p><u>The Adventures of Fap Longwood #10 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)</u></p><p></p><p>The heroes spend the next day following the orc’s trail further into the wilderness.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Might be we can kill two birds with the one stone,”</strong> Horatio says hopefully, noting they are still on course for Old Owl Well.</p><p></p><p>The party make camp and the night passes uneventfully. The next morning, the orc tracks swing south, toward the barren foothills of Wyvern Tor. After climbing for several hours, the trail ends at the mouth of a dark and uninviting tunnel. A single orc stands watch, scraping a whetstone along the killing edge of his monstrous axe.</p><p></p><p>Fap nocks an arrow to his bowstring and takes a deep, steadying breath, hoping he can neutralise the sentry in a single shot. His arrow takes the orc in the shoulder, spinning him around, but failing to kill outright. The orc roars in alarm and the rest of his war band charge screaming from the tunnel. Half the orcs lob their javelins, the rest charge into melee. They are lead by a particularly large and fearsome brute called Brughor Axe-Biter. Bringing up the rear is a huge, stupid-looking ogre, dragging a massive club.</p><p></p><p>Horatio charges the ogre, but Brughor moves to intercept him.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Dwarf!! I’ll cut off your beard and use it to wipe my arse!!”</strong> the orc chieftain bellows.</p><p></p><p>Brian targets the ogre with Guiding Bolt, but misses his mark. The ogre turns sluggishly and lumbers toward him. Flames dancing between her fingers, Mara projects a cone of fire into the ogre’s dumb face. It panics and spins in place, howling like a child. Brian steps forward and swings his warhammer into the brute’s leg, shattering the kneecap as though it were made of eggshell. Unable to support its weight, the ogre goes down like a felled tree.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Gog want to live!!”</strong> the ogre pleads.</p><p></p><p>Brian hesitates, but only for an instant. He remembers standing over a shallow grave behind a burnt-out farmstead, the salty tang of tears on his tongue.</p><p></p><p><strong>“You don’t deserve to live.”</strong> Brian answers, bringing the hammer down on the ogre’s skull.</p><p></p><p>The party cut down the orcs, leaving no survivors. They find the war band’s plunder stashed in the cave, including three vials of smelly perfume which the ogre could have benefited from. Horatio beheads the dead orcs and throws their severed heads into a sack, which he will present to Townmaster Westen as proof that the marauders shall maraud no more.</p><p></p><p>The party make camp atop Wyvern Tor, to recover health and spell slots, before investigating Old Owl Well upon the morrow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mikeawmids, post: 8004284, member: 6776411"] [U]The Adventures of Fap Longwood #10 (Lost Mine of Phandelver)[/U] The heroes spend the next day following the orc’s trail further into the wilderness. [B]“Might be we can kill two birds with the one stone,”[/B] Horatio says hopefully, noting they are still on course for Old Owl Well. The party make camp and the night passes uneventfully. The next morning, the orc tracks swing south, toward the barren foothills of Wyvern Tor. After climbing for several hours, the trail ends at the mouth of a dark and uninviting tunnel. A single orc stands watch, scraping a whetstone along the killing edge of his monstrous axe. Fap nocks an arrow to his bowstring and takes a deep, steadying breath, hoping he can neutralise the sentry in a single shot. His arrow takes the orc in the shoulder, spinning him around, but failing to kill outright. The orc roars in alarm and the rest of his war band charge screaming from the tunnel. Half the orcs lob their javelins, the rest charge into melee. They are lead by a particularly large and fearsome brute called Brughor Axe-Biter. Bringing up the rear is a huge, stupid-looking ogre, dragging a massive club. Horatio charges the ogre, but Brughor moves to intercept him. [B]“Dwarf!! I’ll cut off your beard and use it to wipe my arse!!”[/B] the orc chieftain bellows. Brian targets the ogre with Guiding Bolt, but misses his mark. The ogre turns sluggishly and lumbers toward him. Flames dancing between her fingers, Mara projects a cone of fire into the ogre’s dumb face. It panics and spins in place, howling like a child. Brian steps forward and swings his warhammer into the brute’s leg, shattering the kneecap as though it were made of eggshell. Unable to support its weight, the ogre goes down like a felled tree. [B]“Gog want to live!!”[/B] the ogre pleads. Brian hesitates, but only for an instant. He remembers standing over a shallow grave behind a burnt-out farmstead, the salty tang of tears on his tongue. [B]“You don’t deserve to live.”[/B] Brian answers, bringing the hammer down on the ogre’s skull. The party cut down the orcs, leaving no survivors. They find the war band’s plunder stashed in the cave, including three vials of smelly perfume which the ogre could have benefited from. Horatio beheads the dead orcs and throws their severed heads into a sack, which he will present to Townmaster Westen as proof that the marauders shall maraud no more. The party make camp atop Wyvern Tor, to recover health and spell slots, before investigating Old Owl Well upon the morrow. [/QUOTE]
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