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The Untold Adventures of Fap Longwood & Friends!
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<blockquote data-quote="mikeawmids" data-source="post: 8022267" data-attributes="member: 6776411"><p><u>The Adventures of Fap Longwood #38 (Tyranny of Dragons)</u></p><p></p><p>In the secluded village of Parnast, a strange group gather in the taproom of the <em>Golden Tankard</em>. They are seated around a table as far from the prying ears of the rat-faced bartender as the dimensions of the building will allow.</p><p></p><p><em>This is the B team, replacement characters bought in to replace the Heroes of Phandalin, after they fell into the scaly clutches of the Dragon Cult. They are;</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Hellen Iresworne, Tiefling Bard (lv7), College of Whispers. A raven-haired beauty with understated horns and an overstated bosom. Her personality is almost as bouncy as her… ahem. She carries a rapier and wears a Cloak of Displacement.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Urukk Hai, Half-Orc Monk (lv 7, Way of the Open Palm. Kitted out with Gauntlets of Ogre Power. He likes to punch things. That is literally his whole deal.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Dagar Kutt, Goblin Warlock (lv 7), sworn to the Great Old One. Goes hooded and cloaked, primarily to hide his face and heritage, but also because it looks sinister. Kinda’ looks like a Jawa. Although he can summon a pact weapon (a matched pair of ceremonial daggers), he prefers to fight with his Tentacle Rod, a powerful boon from his patron.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Headstone Hal, Dwarf Rogue (lv 7), Assassin. “Why do they call him Headstone?” I hear you ask. It’s because he’s the last thing his targets see before he puts them in the ground. A mute killer, Headstone fights with a pair of hammers that he wields with almost balletic finesse. In one of his many hidden pockets, he carries a Portable Hole.</em></p><p></p><p><strong>“So we all know why we’re here,”</strong> drawls the fifth member of their group, a diminutive gnome thief called Jamna Gleamsilver, <strong>“The Cult of Dragons are moving a king’s ransom in stolen treasure through this arsehole of civilization and loading it onto the cloud castle they’ve got moored on the edge of town. The Black Network wants that plunder! Your team is tasked with infiltrating Skyreach Castle and hijacking the steering tower! Achieve this and you’ll all be promoted from Wolves to Vipers!</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>“But if you fail to secure the castle and its golden cargo, we don’t want those lizard lovers hanging onto it! In that scenario, your secondary goal is to bring the castle down by any means necessary! Headstone, do you still have the stuff?”</strong></p><p></p><p>The taciturn dwarf nods slowly and pats his breast pocket.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Good. Don’t mess this one up. The higher-ups are watching. Your future with the Zhentarim hinges on the success of this heist.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>“Oh, I almost forgot! We got word that those stuck-up prigs from the Lord’s Alliance already sent a group of trouble-shooters after the treasure. The <em>Heroes of Some Nowhere Town</em> – or something like that. Bunch of amateurs got themselves captured. We think they’re being held in the castle. It could be useful if they owe us a favour. If you chance upon them, consider getting them out – but not if you think they might jeopardise the mission!</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>“You got all that?”</strong></p><p></p><p>The Wolves nod. They got it.</p><p></p><p>There is a commotion in the street outside the tavern. A group of armed guards approach the building, under the stern gaze of a brawny warrior in the distinctive purple attire of the Dragon Cult. The villagers clear the streets, slamming their doors and bolting their shutters.</p><p></p><p><strong>“Hear me, Zhentarim scum!”</strong> the officer shouts, <strong>“My name is Captain Othelstan and it is my duty to inform you that you have outstayed your welcome in Parnast. Throw down your weapons and exit the tavern! My men will escort you back to the main road.”</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>“Time for me to make myself scarce,”</strong> Jamna says, heading for the back door, <strong>“Good hunting, Wolves!”</strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mikeawmids, post: 8022267, member: 6776411"] [U]The Adventures of Fap Longwood #38 (Tyranny of Dragons)[/U] In the secluded village of Parnast, a strange group gather in the taproom of the [I]Golden Tankard[/I]. They are seated around a table as far from the prying ears of the rat-faced bartender as the dimensions of the building will allow. [I]This is the B team, replacement characters bought in to replace the Heroes of Phandalin, after they fell into the scaly clutches of the Dragon Cult. They are; Hellen Iresworne, Tiefling Bard (lv7), College of Whispers. A raven-haired beauty with understated horns and an overstated bosom. Her personality is almost as bouncy as her… ahem. She carries a rapier and wears a Cloak of Displacement. Urukk Hai, Half-Orc Monk (lv 7, Way of the Open Palm. Kitted out with Gauntlets of Ogre Power. He likes to punch things. That is literally his whole deal. Dagar Kutt, Goblin Warlock (lv 7), sworn to the Great Old One. Goes hooded and cloaked, primarily to hide his face and heritage, but also because it looks sinister. Kinda’ looks like a Jawa. Although he can summon a pact weapon (a matched pair of ceremonial daggers), he prefers to fight with his Tentacle Rod, a powerful boon from his patron. Headstone Hal, Dwarf Rogue (lv 7), Assassin. “Why do they call him Headstone?” I hear you ask. It’s because he’s the last thing his targets see before he puts them in the ground. A mute killer, Headstone fights with a pair of hammers that he wields with almost balletic finesse. In one of his many hidden pockets, he carries a Portable Hole.[/I] [B]“So we all know why we’re here,”[/B] drawls the fifth member of their group, a diminutive gnome thief called Jamna Gleamsilver, [B]“The Cult of Dragons are moving a king’s ransom in stolen treasure through this arsehole of civilization and loading it onto the cloud castle they’ve got moored on the edge of town. The Black Network wants that plunder! Your team is tasked with infiltrating Skyreach Castle and hijacking the steering tower! Achieve this and you’ll all be promoted from Wolves to Vipers! “But if you fail to secure the castle and its golden cargo, we don’t want those lizard lovers hanging onto it! In that scenario, your secondary goal is to bring the castle down by any means necessary! Headstone, do you still have the stuff?”[/B] The taciturn dwarf nods slowly and pats his breast pocket. [B]“Good. Don’t mess this one up. The higher-ups are watching. Your future with the Zhentarim hinges on the success of this heist. “Oh, I almost forgot! We got word that those stuck-up prigs from the Lord’s Alliance already sent a group of trouble-shooters after the treasure. The [I]Heroes of Some Nowhere Town[/I] – or something like that. Bunch of amateurs got themselves captured. We think they’re being held in the castle. It could be useful if they owe us a favour. If you chance upon them, consider getting them out – but not if you think they might jeopardise the mission! “You got all that?”[/B] The Wolves nod. They got it. There is a commotion in the street outside the tavern. A group of armed guards approach the building, under the stern gaze of a brawny warrior in the distinctive purple attire of the Dragon Cult. The villagers clear the streets, slamming their doors and bolting their shutters. [B]“Hear me, Zhentarim scum!”[/B] the officer shouts, [B]“My name is Captain Othelstan and it is my duty to inform you that you have outstayed your welcome in Parnast. Throw down your weapons and exit the tavern! My men will escort you back to the main road.” “Time for me to make myself scarce,”[/B] Jamna says, heading for the back door, [B]“Good hunting, Wolves!”[/B] [/QUOTE]
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