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<blockquote data-quote="Vyvyan Basterd" data-source="post: 6202782" data-attributes="member: 4892"><p>I have the "Every Stoopid Episode" DVD set and still occasionally watch it.</p><p></p><p>Vyv's got some of the best lines:</p><p></p><p>"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence."</p><p></p><p></p><p>Vyvyan: I've been down the morgue! ... I got a leg!</p><p>Mike: Hey Vyvyan, that's not unusual.</p><p>Vyvyan: No look! I'm supposed to write an essay on it, but I think I'm just gonna stick it on the bonnet of my car!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Vyvyan: We had a front door at the last house.</p><p>Rick: Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room!</p><p>Mike: Rick, it had to be done.</p><p>Vyvyan: Yeah! I had to! I was drunk!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Rick: What are you doing, Vyvyan?</p><p>Vyvyan: I'm entering a contest to win a Ford Tippex. You have to say what Cornflakes mean to you in 10 words. So I said: Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes.</p><p>Rick: Pathetic! You'll never win, Vyvyan.</p><p>Vyvyan: Why not?</p><p>Rick: It's only nine words.</p><p>Vyvyan: [writing] Corn...flakes!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Neil: Why didn't you cook your own tea, Vyvyan?</p><p>Vyvyan: Because I do not cook the tea, Neil, you do! That's what we agreed when we first came - you do the cooking, I'll look after the plants and the goldfish.</p><p>Neil: Yeah, and what did you make me cook on that first day?</p><p>Vyvyan: Er, sausages! It was a Tuesday.</p><p>Neil: Yeah, sausages and?</p><p>Vyvyan: Sausages and plants and goldfish! Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil - now you discharge yours.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Guard: 'Ere, hang on! What's that?</p><p>Vyvyan: It's my mascot!</p><p>Guard: A pig?</p><p>Vyvyan: No!</p><p>Guard: It is.</p><p>Vyvyan: It's not, it's a ferret. It's a deformed ferret, I'll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig.</p><p>Guard: Looks exactly like a pig.</p><p>Vyvyan: Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Merrick is known as "The Elephant Man", Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret.</p><p>Guard: Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn't it?</p><p>Vyvyan: Aha! And that's where I had you fooled because it's not a ferret, it's a pig.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I only regret that my wife wouldn't let me name our ferret Bacon Sandwich. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Vyvyan Basterd, post: 6202782, member: 4892"] I have the "Every Stoopid Episode" DVD set and still occasionally watch it. Vyv's got some of the best lines: "This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence." Vyvyan: I've been down the morgue! ... I got a leg! Mike: Hey Vyvyan, that's not unusual. Vyvyan: No look! I'm supposed to write an essay on it, but I think I'm just gonna stick it on the bonnet of my car! Vyvyan: We had a front door at the last house. Rick: Yes, Vyvyan, but it was nailed to the ceiling in the living room! Mike: Rick, it had to be done. Vyvyan: Yeah! I had to! I was drunk! Rick: What are you doing, Vyvyan? Vyvyan: I'm entering a contest to win a Ford Tippex. You have to say what Cornflakes mean to you in 10 words. So I said: Cornflakes. Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes, Cornflakes. Rick: Pathetic! You'll never win, Vyvyan. Vyvyan: Why not? Rick: It's only nine words. Vyvyan: [writing] Corn...flakes! Neil: Why didn't you cook your own tea, Vyvyan? Vyvyan: Because I do not cook the tea, Neil, you do! That's what we agreed when we first came - you do the cooking, I'll look after the plants and the goldfish. Neil: Yeah, and what did you make me cook on that first day? Vyvyan: Er, sausages! It was a Tuesday. Neil: Yeah, sausages and? Vyvyan: Sausages and plants and goldfish! Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil - now you discharge yours. Guard: 'Ere, hang on! What's that? Vyvyan: It's my mascot! Guard: A pig? Vyvyan: No! Guard: It is. Vyvyan: It's not, it's a ferret. It's a deformed ferret, I'll grant you that. So severely deformed in fact that it looks a little bit like a pig. Guard: Looks exactly like a pig. Vyvyan: Yes, well, it certainly has been remarked upon. In fact, just as John Merrick is known as "The Elephant Man", Bacon Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret. Guard: Bacon Sandwich? Funny name for a ferret, isn't it? Vyvyan: Aha! And that's where I had you fooled because it's not a ferret, it's a pig. I only regret that my wife wouldn't let me name our ferret Bacon Sandwich. :( [/QUOTE]
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