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unHack/Existentialism (**updated 27 Feb 2007**)
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<blockquote data-quote="Kafkonia" data-source="post: 3319655" data-attributes="member: 40261"><p><strong>Chapter the First</strong></p><p>or, <em>Never Trust a Drunken Dwarf</em></p><p></p><p>Enelym calls upon some of her friends over the years to travel to the hamlet of Tharp with her, and thence to explore the ruins of the Temple. In addition, they hire on a dwarven fighter by the name of Jim, who soon proves to be more of a problem than a help.</p><p></p><p>En route to the hamlet of Tharp, the party's keen hearing leads them to a trio of goblins menacing a young boy who has taken refuge in the limbs of a tree. The sextet dispatch the villains with little difficulty, although Jim spends more time knocking back drinks than knocking heads together.</p><p></p><p>The young man informs our heroes (and Jim) that his name is Jan, and he and his sister Zayna were travelling to Tharp to visit their aunt and unclewhen they were waylaid by a band of goblins, and that while he managed to escape, his sister was taken captive. Eiramenna follows their tracks to a clearing, where she spies five goblins, a pot of boiling water, and a trussed-up young girl. Three of the goblins are indistinguishable from the three they have just slain, a fourth is slightly larger and better armoured, and a fifth is naked as the day he was born.</p><p></p><p>Undeterred by the number of foes, the sextet spring into action to save the goblins'captive. Jollybell, upset that she hasn't gotten to eat her cookies because of all this trouble, casts a spell that instills fear in one of the goblins, causing him to flee from the party as quickly as he can; Jim, meanwhile, curses and throws a handful of stones ineffectively at the muscular goblin, who ignores him.</p><p></p><p>The naked goblin abandons the trussed up girl and strides forward, muttering something in Goblin and gesturing wildly. Suddenly, a blast of flame bursts from of his hands, burning Cat and Eiramenna so badly they fall unconscious from the shock. Enelym, seeing her friends fall, rushes to their side to stabilize them, while Jollybell and Dave focus their attentions on the witch doctor, hoping to neutralize him before he can cause any more damage.</p><p></p><p>Enelym manages to channel just enough divine energy into Cat to stop the bleeding, and enough to get Eiramenna back on her feet, but extremely weakened from the pain. Meanwhile, Dave and Jollybell keep the witch doctor occupied enough for Jim to have a moment of clarity and cleave him in twain with his dwarven waraxe.</p><p></p><p>With the witch doctor slain and one of their number fled, the remaining goblins call for parley. They tell the adventurers that they were on their way to "the Temple" when they were overcome with hunger pangs, and the two children seemed such tempting morsels they couldn't resist, but that they will gladly free the girl in exchange for their own lives.</p><p></p><p>Recognizing that they are not in a position of strength themselves, the adventurers consent, and the goblins pick up their fallen leader and disappear into the forest to the south east. Enelym uses the remainder of her powers to bring Cat to consciousness, and the sextet and the two children decide to spend the night in the abandoned goblin encampment rather than risk travelling overnight when injured. Dave, being the only one not needing to regain spells or hit points, takes first watch. And second. And third. And fourth. Much to Jollybell's delight, it transpires that Zayna is a member of a group of young girls who often serve as guides to the general public, and that she is carrying with her a large supply of cookies -- which soon becomes a small supply of cookies.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kafkonia, post: 3319655, member: 40261"] [B]Chapter the First[/B] or, [i]Never Trust a Drunken Dwarf[/i] Enelym calls upon some of her friends over the years to travel to the hamlet of Tharp with her, and thence to explore the ruins of the Temple. In addition, they hire on a dwarven fighter by the name of Jim, who soon proves to be more of a problem than a help. En route to the hamlet of Tharp, the party's keen hearing leads them to a trio of goblins menacing a young boy who has taken refuge in the limbs of a tree. The sextet dispatch the villains with little difficulty, although Jim spends more time knocking back drinks than knocking heads together. The young man informs our heroes (and Jim) that his name is Jan, and he and his sister Zayna were travelling to Tharp to visit their aunt and unclewhen they were waylaid by a band of goblins, and that while he managed to escape, his sister was taken captive. Eiramenna follows their tracks to a clearing, where she spies five goblins, a pot of boiling water, and a trussed-up young girl. Three of the goblins are indistinguishable from the three they have just slain, a fourth is slightly larger and better armoured, and a fifth is naked as the day he was born. Undeterred by the number of foes, the sextet spring into action to save the goblins'captive. Jollybell, upset that she hasn't gotten to eat her cookies because of all this trouble, casts a spell that instills fear in one of the goblins, causing him to flee from the party as quickly as he can; Jim, meanwhile, curses and throws a handful of stones ineffectively at the muscular goblin, who ignores him. The naked goblin abandons the trussed up girl and strides forward, muttering something in Goblin and gesturing wildly. Suddenly, a blast of flame bursts from of his hands, burning Cat and Eiramenna so badly they fall unconscious from the shock. Enelym, seeing her friends fall, rushes to their side to stabilize them, while Jollybell and Dave focus their attentions on the witch doctor, hoping to neutralize him before he can cause any more damage. Enelym manages to channel just enough divine energy into Cat to stop the bleeding, and enough to get Eiramenna back on her feet, but extremely weakened from the pain. Meanwhile, Dave and Jollybell keep the witch doctor occupied enough for Jim to have a moment of clarity and cleave him in twain with his dwarven waraxe. With the witch doctor slain and one of their number fled, the remaining goblins call for parley. They tell the adventurers that they were on their way to "the Temple" when they were overcome with hunger pangs, and the two children seemed such tempting morsels they couldn't resist, but that they will gladly free the girl in exchange for their own lives. Recognizing that they are not in a position of strength themselves, the adventurers consent, and the goblins pick up their fallen leader and disappear into the forest to the south east. Enelym uses the remainder of her powers to bring Cat to consciousness, and the sextet and the two children decide to spend the night in the abandoned goblin encampment rather than risk travelling overnight when injured. Dave, being the only one not needing to regain spells or hit points, takes first watch. And second. And third. And fourth. Much to Jollybell's delight, it transpires that Zayna is a member of a group of young girls who often serve as guides to the general public, and that she is carrying with her a large supply of cookies -- which soon becomes a small supply of cookies. [/QUOTE]
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