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When did Entitled become a bad word?
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<blockquote data-quote="Janx" data-source="post: 5990993" data-attributes="member: 8835"><p>Thanks for answering. I'll try to formulate a counter-pointas we go here.</p><p></p><p>I will admit that I probably have a political bias. I hear the word "entitlement" from a group I disagree with, and it now has built up a negative association. We're not going there, but just to point out where bias from me can come from.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Back to your point, which I'll re-paste here:</p><p>"in general it refers to an individual or individuals gaining something at the expense of others"</p><p></p><p>I think that every nice thing I do for somebody else comes at my expense. If I help an old lady across the street, it is consuming my time, because she's old and slow.</p><p></p><p>I am inclined to perform what I call drive-by-acts-of-kindness, whereby it is fairly trivial to do so. Helping the old lady across the street that I am already going to cross is a minimal expense of time on my part. If she was not going the same direction, I'd be more put out, and less inclined to help.</p><p></p><p>Let's get back to doing nice things for people. Say I help you change your tire on your car on the side of the road. It's hot, sweaty work in Texas. I might get hit by a passing car because that kind of thing can happen.</p><p></p><p>Socially, you owe me. I helped you, you owe me a favor and a thanks.</p><p></p><p>Ethically/philosophically/religiously, there is the concept that I should do nice things without expecting anything in return. Basically, I should NOT expect you to pay me back, when I do my good deed.</p><p></p><p>Under similar reasonings on human behavior, when somebody helps you, you should thank them, and try to help them in return if you can (or "pay it forward" and help somebody else).</p><p></p><p>Humans may shortcut this logic process to conclude that, when I help you, even if I don't expect payment, you should pay me back, therefore, I can in effect, expect re-payment otherwise you are socially defective.</p><p></p><p>This concept isn't such a big deal on a single helpfulness event. But if I keep helping you and you keep not thanking me and never help me back, you are a Mooch. Society doesn't much care for Mooches, as they are a sign of a bad friend.</p><p></p><p>What's this got to do with Entitlement? It seems to me, the concept of Entitlement is hinging on expectation. Expectation of the thanks/repayment or of the initial help.</p><p></p><p>What I fear, however, is phrasing things the way the word gets used, it disregards what the situation was about. Helping somebody, or being a friend.</p><p></p><p>Let's windthat to the MMO example, because I see my flavor text might get shifted into politics (not my intent, honest).</p><p></p><p>In the MMO thread, somebody suggested that not being happy that your friend ditched you to spend his life hugging his MMO is akin to you feeling Entitled to your friend's time. That's a paraphrase, and not a quote.</p><p></p><p>When we throw around the word Entitled like it gets used nowadays, I think we lose something. Sure, your friend does not have to play D&D with you if he likes playing WoW more. But he does owe you something as your friend for all the friendiness you've given him in the past. Technically there's no friend-police to make sure he follows up on his debt. </p><p></p><p>You are not Entitled to anything from him. But he does owe you something.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janx, post: 5990993, member: 8835"] Thanks for answering. I'll try to formulate a counter-pointas we go here. I will admit that I probably have a political bias. I hear the word "entitlement" from a group I disagree with, and it now has built up a negative association. We're not going there, but just to point out where bias from me can come from. Back to your point, which I'll re-paste here: "in general it refers to an individual or individuals gaining something at the expense of others" I think that every nice thing I do for somebody else comes at my expense. If I help an old lady across the street, it is consuming my time, because she's old and slow. I am inclined to perform what I call drive-by-acts-of-kindness, whereby it is fairly trivial to do so. Helping the old lady across the street that I am already going to cross is a minimal expense of time on my part. If she was not going the same direction, I'd be more put out, and less inclined to help. Let's get back to doing nice things for people. Say I help you change your tire on your car on the side of the road. It's hot, sweaty work in Texas. I might get hit by a passing car because that kind of thing can happen. Socially, you owe me. I helped you, you owe me a favor and a thanks. Ethically/philosophically/religiously, there is the concept that I should do nice things without expecting anything in return. Basically, I should NOT expect you to pay me back, when I do my good deed. Under similar reasonings on human behavior, when somebody helps you, you should thank them, and try to help them in return if you can (or "pay it forward" and help somebody else). Humans may shortcut this logic process to conclude that, when I help you, even if I don't expect payment, you should pay me back, therefore, I can in effect, expect re-payment otherwise you are socially defective. This concept isn't such a big deal on a single helpfulness event. But if I keep helping you and you keep not thanking me and never help me back, you are a Mooch. Society doesn't much care for Mooches, as they are a sign of a bad friend. What's this got to do with Entitlement? It seems to me, the concept of Entitlement is hinging on expectation. Expectation of the thanks/repayment or of the initial help. What I fear, however, is phrasing things the way the word gets used, it disregards what the situation was about. Helping somebody, or being a friend. Let's windthat to the MMO example, because I see my flavor text might get shifted into politics (not my intent, honest). In the MMO thread, somebody suggested that not being happy that your friend ditched you to spend his life hugging his MMO is akin to you feeling Entitled to your friend's time. That's a paraphrase, and not a quote. When we throw around the word Entitled like it gets used nowadays, I think we lose something. Sure, your friend does not have to play D&D with you if he likes playing WoW more. But he does owe you something as your friend for all the friendiness you've given him in the past. Technically there's no friend-police to make sure he follows up on his debt. You are not Entitled to anything from him. But he does owe you something. [/QUOTE]
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