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Where Have All the Ki-Rins Gone, or a Very Beastie Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="Jack7" data-source="post: 5036458" data-attributes="member: 54707"><p>The general hum subsided. The Ki-Rin looked over his shoulder while the Lammasu muttered, "Oh man, not again. These two will be trouble."</p><p></p><p>Nobody said nothing for several seconds. Then the Umber Hulk rumbled.</p><p></p><p>"Anybody here seen a Dame named Karillunda?"</p><p></p><p>"Who wants to know?" shouted out a voice from the back of the bar. It was probably a Basilisk on leave.</p><p></p><p>The Umber Hulk clicked his inner pincers together menacingly, and then dropped a double-sized cinder block loudly from his hind quarters to the mahogany floor. It crashed through the boarding and kept falling.</p><p></p><p>"<em><strong>I wanna know!</strong></em>" It sorta sounded like a Remorhaz gnawing at a gravel barbecue pit.</p><p></p><p>Then the Manticore stepped forward and roared and growled and carried on something terrible but nobody could make out what he was saying so it got quiet again.</p><p></p><p>The Ki-Rin glanced over at the table where the Owl-Bear had been sitting and noticed that it was now empty, except for a sprinkling of soiled feathers and fur-droppings. Apparently the Rakshasha has skeedaddled as well, even the smoke from his hookah had cleared up already.</p><p></p><p>"Hey" said the Ki-Rin over the gathering pall, "why do you wanna mess with Karillunda?"</p><p></p><p>"Do you know her?" grated the Umber Hulk.</p><p></p><p>"We dated back in the day."</p><p></p><p>"Then tell me where she is and I won't chew your head off."</p><p></p><p>"Why you wanna run with that girl? She's a real Lich."</p><p></p><p>"Whad-didyu just say pony-tail?"</p><p></p><p>"No, I mean she's a real Lich pal. You're probably just all Voodooed-up and don't even know it. Why don't ya let me buy you and your friend a big round of warm Harpy milk and a Neo-Otyugh or two and you guys can sleep it off til morning?"</p><p></p><p>"Think you're pretty big and tough, <em>don't ya glitter hooves</em>?" The Umber Hulk shouted. The Manticore roared and stomped around on all fours angrily, but still nobody could make out what he was trying to get across.</p><p></p><p>"Well, I'm big and tough enough to break off my +3 horn of un-Umbering in both your saddle-bags if that's what ya mean skipper, but since it's Christmas and all, why don't ya just let me create a soul-eatin illusion of her and you boys can owe me the difference in copper pieces." </p><p></p><p>A Mimic sniggered in the background but no-one could make out if it was the table, the chamber pot, or the hat-rack.</p><p></p><p>"I want Karillunda!!!" The Umber Hulk roared ferociously.</p><p></p><p>"Wouldn't you be better off with a <em>Groaning Spirit</em>?" </p><p></p><p>"<strong>Unicorn!</strong>" the Umber Hulk screamed in frustration.</p><p></p><p>"Where?" said the Ki-Rin, looking around.</p><p></p><p>"You," the Umber Hulk shouted. "<em>You're nothing but a long-haired Unicorn</em>!"</p><p></p><p>"Hey, one of my best friends is a Unicorn," replied the Ki-Rin. "But we're not related. I can assure ya."</p><p></p><p>The Manticore started to rush forwards, a Troglodyte nervously cut loose with his skunk juice, a Water Weird squirted straight up to the ceiling, and in all the mayhem and confusion the Umber Hulk clawed open his own belly by mistake. </p><p></p><p>It took no more than three pounces and a Zombie trot for the Manticore to reach the bar where he immediately lept into the air with all his fury and came crashing down claws-extended into the empty bar, where one of the shank-planks of a shattered Ettin keg impaled him through the throat and he died on the spot.</p><p></p><p>After the Manticore had his final death rattle, and the shock of the whole scene had worn off for most of the patrons, the entire bar suddenly heard the deep, hearty laughter of the Ki-Rin's voice ringing in the air as he brightly proclaimed, "<strong>HO! HO! HO!</strong> <em><span style="color: Red">Merry Christmas to All</span>, <span style="color: Lime">and to all a Good Night</span>!</em> I was never really here you know. But now all you have to do is wait til that stupid Umber Hulk bleeds himself out and his treasure is yours!!!"</p><p></p><p></p><p>And the moral of this story ladies and gentlemen is this: if we had more Ki-Rins around then life would be a lot more interesting...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jack7, post: 5036458, member: 54707"] The general hum subsided. The Ki-Rin looked over his shoulder while the Lammasu muttered, "Oh man, not again. These two will be trouble." Nobody said nothing for several seconds. Then the Umber Hulk rumbled. "Anybody here seen a Dame named Karillunda?" "Who wants to know?" shouted out a voice from the back of the bar. It was probably a Basilisk on leave. The Umber Hulk clicked his inner pincers together menacingly, and then dropped a double-sized cinder block loudly from his hind quarters to the mahogany floor. It crashed through the boarding and kept falling. "[I][B]I wanna know![/B][/I]" It sorta sounded like a Remorhaz gnawing at a gravel barbecue pit. Then the Manticore stepped forward and roared and growled and carried on something terrible but nobody could make out what he was saying so it got quiet again. The Ki-Rin glanced over at the table where the Owl-Bear had been sitting and noticed that it was now empty, except for a sprinkling of soiled feathers and fur-droppings. Apparently the Rakshasha has skeedaddled as well, even the smoke from his hookah had cleared up already. "Hey" said the Ki-Rin over the gathering pall, "why do you wanna mess with Karillunda?" "Do you know her?" grated the Umber Hulk. "We dated back in the day." "Then tell me where she is and I won't chew your head off." "Why you wanna run with that girl? She's a real Lich." "Whad-didyu just say pony-tail?" "No, I mean she's a real Lich pal. You're probably just all Voodooed-up and don't even know it. Why don't ya let me buy you and your friend a big round of warm Harpy milk and a Neo-Otyugh or two and you guys can sleep it off til morning?" "Think you're pretty big and tough, [I]don't ya glitter hooves[/I]?" The Umber Hulk shouted. The Manticore roared and stomped around on all fours angrily, but still nobody could make out what he was trying to get across. "Well, I'm big and tough enough to break off my +3 horn of un-Umbering in both your saddle-bags if that's what ya mean skipper, but since it's Christmas and all, why don't ya just let me create a soul-eatin illusion of her and you boys can owe me the difference in copper pieces." A Mimic sniggered in the background but no-one could make out if it was the table, the chamber pot, or the hat-rack. "I want Karillunda!!!" The Umber Hulk roared ferociously. "Wouldn't you be better off with a [I]Groaning Spirit[/I]?" "[B]Unicorn![/B]" the Umber Hulk screamed in frustration. "Where?" said the Ki-Rin, looking around. "You," the Umber Hulk shouted. "[I]You're nothing but a long-haired Unicorn[/I]!" "Hey, one of my best friends is a Unicorn," replied the Ki-Rin. "But we're not related. I can assure ya." The Manticore started to rush forwards, a Troglodyte nervously cut loose with his skunk juice, a Water Weird squirted straight up to the ceiling, and in all the mayhem and confusion the Umber Hulk clawed open his own belly by mistake. It took no more than three pounces and a Zombie trot for the Manticore to reach the bar where he immediately lept into the air with all his fury and came crashing down claws-extended into the empty bar, where one of the shank-planks of a shattered Ettin keg impaled him through the throat and he died on the spot. After the Manticore had his final death rattle, and the shock of the whole scene had worn off for most of the patrons, the entire bar suddenly heard the deep, hearty laughter of the Ki-Rin's voice ringing in the air as he brightly proclaimed, "[B]HO! HO! HO![/B] [I][COLOR="Red"]Merry Christmas to All[/COLOR], [COLOR="Lime"]and to all a Good Night[/COLOR]![/I] I was never really here you know. But now all you have to do is wait til that stupid Umber Hulk bleeds himself out and his treasure is yours!!!" And the moral of this story ladies and gentlemen is this: if we had more Ki-Rins around then life would be a lot more interesting... [/QUOTE]
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