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Wing Three
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<blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 6315607" data-attributes="member: 508"><p><strong>ADVENTURE 82: DUDE, WHERE'S MY BODY?</strong></p><p></p><p>PC Roster: <p style="margin-left: 20px">Delphyne Babelberi, human witch (wizard)/archwitch</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Galrich Slayer, half-orc barbarian</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Rale Bodkin, human rogue</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Telgrane, half-fire elemental human conjurer/archmage</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Thunderwolf, human fighter</p><p></p><p>NPC Roster: <p style="margin-left: 20px">Aerik Battershield, dwarven fighter/dwarven defender</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Desdemona Honeytongue, human wizard</p><p></p><p>Delphyne was once again the first one to rise in the morning. She put on a robe over her nightgown and padded quietly down the stairs to the Wing Three communal living area. Crossing the living room, she made her way to the kitchen to start up a fire and get some tea brewing.</p><p></p><p>She stopped in the dining room, though, her tea momentarily forgotten. There on the dining room table was a folded piece of parchment; on top of it was a silver ring bearing the Adventurers Guild crest. Delphyne moved the ring aside and unfolded the parchment. it read<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />elphyne picked the ring back up and peered at the engraving on the inside of the ring. Sure enough, it was inscribed "CAL TROP."</p><p></p><p>"What've you got there?" asked Feron, walking into the dining room. Delphyne passed the letter on to the druid and told her to see for herself, then turned to get the tea started.</p><p></p><p> - - - </p><p></p><p>An hour later, the rest of the Wing Three adventurers were all awake and gathered around the dining room table, eating the remains of their breakfast and discussing Cal's sudden disappearance.</p><p></p><p>"Do you think this is on the up-and-up?" asked Chalkan, clearly concerned. The last time one of their number had suddenly disappeared, he'd been transformed into an undead minion of Orcus, Demon Prince of the Undead. That's the sort of thing that only has to happen once to make a person somewhat uneasy.</p><p></p><p>"I'll go check with my uncle," suggested Thunderwolf, heading off to Guildmaster Farthingale's office.</p><p></p><p>"Should we try scrying on him?" asked Feron. The general consensus was that it might not be a bad idea, so Delphyne went back upstairs to her room and returned shortly with her <em>crystal ball</em>. She'd known Cal for long enough that it was no trouble at all conjuring his image in her scrying sphere; within seconds, an image formed in her <em>crystal ball</em>, one of Cal sitting in a chair, reading from a thick book. Lying in a bed next to him was an elderly man, liver spots sprinkled on his nearly-bald head. He lay on his pillow with his eyes half-closed, and a slight smile on his face.</p><p></p><p>"Everything looks pretty straightforward," commented Rale.</p><p></p><p>"Agreed," replied Delphyne, dismissing the image with a wave of her hand.</p><p></p><p> - - - </p><p></p><p>Two rather uneventful days passed, with the only bit of excitement being Galrich complaining of violent nightmares. Then, on the morning of the third day, the group was once again gathering around the table for breakfast when an audible "pop" sound emanated from the living room. Aerik and Galrich happened to be the closest at hand; they turned and saw an unusual sight: there, sitting in the middle of the living room floor, was a wrinkled figure in a soiled nightshirt. A manacle encompassed each thin wrist, with a short strand of chain dangling from each manacle. He sat upright on the floor, looking around wearily with squinting eyes.</p><p></p><p>"Cal..." he wheezed in a voice barely loud enough to hear. "Cal...Trop...."</p><p></p><p>"He's not here," replied Galrich, seemingly unfazed by the fact that an old man had just teleported into his living room.</p><p></p><p>"No," the old man said with obvious effort. "I'm...Cal...." Then he collapsed backwards on the floor, his strength obviously spent.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane had caught the old man's sudden appearance, but hadn't been close enough to make out any of his words. Still, he was at the old man's side in a flash, and held his hand out to the burly half-orc. "I need a healing potion," the archmage commanded, knowing full well that Galrich spent most of his time in full armor with as much adventuring gear on his person as was generally feasible - even when simply dressing for breakfast. Galrich grumbled, but passed over a healing potion to the archmage. Telgrane popped off the cork, lifted the old man's head up, and carefully poured its contents between the old man's parched lips.</p><p></p><p>"He says he's Cal," remarked Galrich.</p><p></p><p>"What?" asked Telgrane in astonishment.</p><p></p><p>"'S'true," confirmed Aerik. "That's what he said, anyways."</p><p></p><p>"It is true," replied the old man, as everyone gathered around him. "I'm Cal Trop."</p><p></p><p>"You're the old man Cal was reading to," replied Delphyne. "We saw you, in my <em>crystal ball</em>."</p><p></p><p>"That was a <em>screen</em> spell," the old man replied. "<strong>Lord Byron Partridge</strong>...my great uncle...swapped bodies with me. He's got a pet wizard...name of <strong>Nornabar</strong>, casts that spell every day."</p><p></p><p>"If you are Cal," said Telgrane warily, "then I'm sure you'll understand that we'll need some way to confirm that you're really you. Tell us something only he would know."</p><p></p><p>The old man closed his eyes wearily in thought, and was silent for long enough that the group started to wonder if he'd fallen asleep. Then he snapped his eyes back open, and replied, "Musclebutt."</p><p></p><p>"Musclebutt?" repeated Feron in confusion.</p><p></p><p>"That's the name...the Prime Fool put in his guest book...the nickname he gave me."</p><p></p><p>"That's true," confirmed Delphyne. "That's what he called him. And that wouldn't have been put into any official report."</p><p></p><p>"Wow," said Telgrane. "You really are an idiot. How'd you let a ninety-year-old man get the better of you?"</p><p></p><p>Slowly, painfully, Cal - trapped in the body of Lord Byron Partridge - began to tell his story. Telgrane quickly took pity on Cal's pathetic attempts to catch enough breath to speak, and cast a <em>Rary's telepathic bond</em> so that he could tell his tale without having to constantly gasp for breath. Everything in the note Cal had left was true; he had in fact written it shortly after having been approached by Partridge's lawyer, a man named <strong>Renquist</strong>. Upon taking Cal to Lord Partridge's manor home, the cleric of Kord had met his great uncle for the first time. Lord Partridge was propped up by pillows in a large bed centered in a dark room that had apparently originally been a living room, but all of the other furniture had been pushed against the walls to make way not only for Lord Partridge's bed but a comfortable-looking chair sitting alongside it. A single candle burning in a holder on a bookcase was the only illumination in the room, for while the back wall was covered in windows all of the heavy curtains were pulled shut. The three men were not alone in the room, for standing around the bed, chanting in unison, were half a dozen robed figures; Renquist explained them as clerics doing their best to keep Lord Partridge alive and comfortable in his final days. Cal was introduced to his uncle, and then Renquist got straight down to business, showing the cleric of Kord the paperwork that would leave all of the Partridge fortune to him upon his great uncle's death.</p><p></p><p>"And you signed it?" asked Telgrane aloud is disbelief.</p><p></p><p>"It was legit," replied Cal over the <em>telepathic bond</em>. "Completely legal. No illusions, I checked."</p><p></p><p>What he had failed to notice - not surprisingly, given the dim illumination in the room - were the concentric circles carved into the floor, one set centered on the bed and another centered on the chair at its side; had Cal been able to inspect them (had he even seen them at all), he'd likely have recognized the runes carved around the circles as being similar in nature to the ones carved for the bodyswapping rituals in the stone giant caves the halfling wizards had used several months ago. In any case, shortly after having signed the legal documents, Cal experienced a flash of dizziness, seemed to pass out for a moment, and woke up in the elderly Partridge's body. Lord Partridge, now in Cal's body, quickly forced a sickly-smelling liquid down what until moments ago was his own throat, and Cal lost consciousness almost immediately. He didn't feel the manacles being attached from each thin wrist to the metal bed frame.</p><p></p><p>"So how'd you escape?" asked Rale.</p><p></p><p>"I was kept drugged," replied Cal, "and even so, I was trapped in an old man's body requiring a lot of sleep. They took my spell components from me, so I was limited to what spells I could pray for, and cast. But eventually, I managed to stay awake long enough to pray to Kord for a <em>word of recall</em> spell to return me here." He had used his daily feat of strength - available to him regardless of which body he was currently inhabiting, fortunately - as a cleric of the Lord of Strength to break the manacles' chains and cast his spell to return to the Wing Three living quarters.</p><p></p><p>"So Lord Partridge is running around in a body containing the blood of Kord, while Cal here's trapped in a feeble old body that's likely to expire in days," recapped Rale. He shook his head sadly. "You're a doofus."</p><p></p><p>"We're going to need to get Cal's body back," determined Telgrane. He turned to Cal, who was starting to drift off to sleep, this having been more excitement than Lord Partridge's body was equipped to handle. "Hey, wake up!" he said, shaking Cal gently. "Do you know where you were being held? And can you draw us a map of the manor house, give us an idea of who all we might encounter there, that sort of thing?"</p><p></p><p>Cal hadn't seen much of the manor house's interior, just the short path from the front door to the repurposed living room where he had been chained to the bed once he had been unwittingly bodyswapped, but he was able to tell the group how to get there and who else lived in the manor. Besides Renquist and the wizard Nornabar, there were about a dozen servants, all dressed in Far Eastern garb - Lord Partridge had spent quite a bit of time in the Far East, and in fact that's where a lot of his trading business was located. The servants were all very deferential to Lord Partridge, even more so once he wore Cal's powerful body. But then, having proven that the bodyswapping ritual was a success, Cal imagined the promise of a younger, more powerful body once their original one wore out would be a very good incentive towards loyalty to Lord Partridge's retainers. (He was convinced that had already been considered by the wizard Nornabar, whose long white beard spoke of many decades of life thus far.)</p><p></p><p>The group got Cal comfortable in his own bed - if not in his own body - and then decided who was going to go pay the Partridge manor house a visit. Rale, Telgrane, and Thunderwolf were a given, as they had no "bink partners," and Aerik and Dez would naturally be accompanying their respective leaders. Feron offered to look after Cal, so Delphyne gathered up her gear and the group headed out to the Partridge Manor, in one of the richest quarters of Greyhawk City. Once there, they huddled behind a large shrub and decided on a course of action. Rale took the lead, and donned one of the pair of the group's <em>scout goggles</em>, giving the other pair to Delphyne. Then he and Dez walked up the cobblestone path to Partridge Manor, confident that Delphyne would be watching their progress from a distance and the group would be able to bail them out if need be. With a <em>Rary's telepathic bond</em> spell keeping everyone able to communicate with each other (except Dez - Telgrane still couldn't manage to link more than six people, but he was working on it), they were confident that they had taken all of the precautions they could.</p><p></p><p>The two stepped onto a broad porch, flanked by two large, stone sculptures of fierce-looking samurai, swords drawn menacingly. Rale knocked boldly on the door, which was answered in a few seconds by Renquist. He looked bewilderingly at the pair and asked, hesitantly, "Yes?"</p><p></p><p>"Good morning to you, sir," replied Rale. "We're from the Greyhawk City Fine Arts Department, and I wonder if we could have a few moments with Lord Partridge about sponsorship of an upcoming play I believe he would be greatly interested in."</p><p></p><p>"I'm very sorry," Renquist replied. "Lord Partridge is currently indisposed." He started to close the door.</p><p></p><p>"No matter!" responded Rale, sticking his foot in the door and more or less forcing his way into the manor's foyer. "Perhaps we could speak to you on his behalf, and you could set us up with an appointment to see Lord Partridge at his convenience!"</p><p></p><p>"I really don't--" sputtered Renquist, but a quick <em>suggestion</em> spell from Dez changed his mind at once. "Uh, very well, this way, if you please." He led them to an antechamber, and asked them to wait there while he fetched Nornabar. But almost immediately, a door to the north opened - the door leading to the living room where Cal had been imprisoned, according to Cal's hastily-scribbled map of the parts of the house he had seen - and a Far Eastern woman stepped through, closing the door quietly behind her. She scrutinized Rale and Dez without a word. "Uh, these two--" began Renquist, but was cut short by the serving girl's loud "Haaaaai!" and instant combat stance, one arm raised above her in a striking stance, the other balanced before her to block any incoming blows, and her slender weight balanced easily on the balls of her feet. Her combat scream was echoed from the other side of the foyer; apparently it had been an alarm to the rest of her servants that there were intruders in the house.</p><p></p><p>"Uh, I really don't believe--" began Renquist, before the serving girl attacked. The lawyer scrambled back out of the way with a startled cry as the young lady began a flurry of blows against Rale, who did his level best to dodge them. "The jig's up!" called Rale over the <em>telepathic bond</em>, but Delphyne had seen all and responded by <em>teleporting</em> the rest of the group directly into the antechamber with Rale, Dez, and the others. The servant monk seemed unfazed by the sudden arrival of the adventurers, concentrating on striking out at Rale. Renquist took the opportunity to duck back into the library through a southern door, as the door from the foyer opened up and at least half a dozen other monks came screaming towards the intruders.</p><p></p><p>Delphyne responded with a <em>Bigby's crushing hand</em> spell, pushing the incoming monks back down the hallway from which they had come. Then, having cleared some room, she followed into the foyer, where it was far less crowded. Behind her, Aerik fought the furious servant monk, eventually killing her, while Dez stood on the sofa staying out of the way. Galrich and Thunderwolf headed into the corridor to take on the monks even now fighting their way past the giant hand-shaped energy wielded by Delphyne. In the back of the monks' formation, Nornabar was able to cast a <em>mass hold person</em>, affecting Galrich and Thunderwolf and holding them fast. The nearest monk took the opportunity to assault Thunderwolf repeatedly, but the tough fighter seemed able to shrug off the blows even while magically immobilized.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane cast a shaped <em>cloudkill</em> down the narrow corridor, catching a row of monks even now struggling to make their way to the combat. Unseen by the archmage, Nornabar was at the rear of the line, but he quickly hightailed it once the cloud of poison gas started heading his way. Telgrane released Infernia from her tinderbox, and the Large fire elemental went bounding down the cloud-filled corridor, unaffected by the poison gas, searching for the spellcaster who would dare to try to harm her master. </p><p></p><p>Delphyne cast a <em>magic circle against evil</em> which allowed Galrich and Thunderwolf to regain their mobility - as long as they stayed close by her. Aerik and Rale dashed into the library to see if there were any enemies to be found there, but all they saw was Renquist cowering behind a cot - apparently, he had been sleeping here in the library during the recent events involved in swapping bodies between Lord Partridge and Cal. While Aerik concentrated on trying to beat - or scare - information out of the frightened lawyer, Rale eased open a window and slid out onto the front lawn, thinking to sneak up behind the group of monks and strike from an unsuspected side.</p><p></p><p>One of the monks popped out of a door at the far side of the house, which apparently led to the stables, and called some words in a language none of the heroes had ever heard before. Rale had the best view as the two samurai statues suddenly lurched into life. They spun to the front door, one of them wrenched it off its hinges with a powerful tug, and then they started attacking the heroes in the foyer.</p><p></p><p>Back in the house, Infernia caught up to Nornabar and grappled with the elderly wizard, engulfing him in her fiery embrace. As his robes started smoldering, he realized he wouldn't get to experience a new replacement body for himself if he burned to death in Lord Partridge's manor, and surrendered immediately. Infernia, unsure of what to do in such an instance, continued grappling the wizard but suppressed her flames - something she'd been working on since Telgrane gave her the <em>ring of fire resistance</em> - and dragged him back through the <em>cloudkill</em> spell to her master.</p><p></p><p>Delphyne repositioned her <em>Bigby's crushing hand</em> to assault one of the animated samurai statues. Rale sent a few arrows at the last remaining monk, which caused him to spin around and race back indoors. Rale chased him inside, to find that it was a stables, of sorts - only the horses were all skeletal. The monk was opening the stall doors and commanding the undead horses in the same musical language he had used to activate the samurai statues, but Rale caught up to him and quickly dispatched him with his two short swords, then hurried back outside and slammed the stable door shut again. The undead horses didn't follow.</p><p></p><p>Inside the house, the combat was dying down. One of the statues had already been smashed to rubble; once the second samurai stone golem had been destroyed, all sounds of combat ceased in the area. A quick search of Partridge Manor verified that Nornabar and Renquist were the only survivors of the manor house battle, and the lawyer quickly spilled all that he knew. While he was unsure of Lord Partridge's exact current whereabouts, he listed off a number of likely possibilities, consisting mostly of pubs and cat-houses (the elderly man making the very best use of Cal's powerful body and his sudden return to youthfulness) that Lord Partridge had been frequenting of late.</p><p></p><p>After several hours of searching the establishments on Renquist's list, the group found themselves standing outside the Pit-Fight, and heard Cal's unmistakable voice roaring in drunken laughter, among the sounds of what was clearly a bar fight. Dez cast a quick <em>seeming</em> spell on the group, to hide their identities from Lord Partridge (who, according to Renquist, was an Adventurers Guild patron and had read all of the files on the Wing Three adventurers, and thus knew what they all looked like). Not everyone was particularly thrilled with Dez's choice in disguise: Telgrane now looked like a gnome; Rale a skinny girl and Delphyne a skinny boy; Aerik looked like a chubby human barman; Galrich was now, to all appearances, a busty tavern wench; and Dez looked like a fat male merchant. Only Thunderwolf truly appreciated his illusory disguise, for he looked like a half-elf assassin. "Bad-ass!" he said in approval.</p><p></p><p>The group entered the Pit Fight, and sure enough, there was Lord Partridge in Cal's body, holding a bloody bar patron - and a half-finished bottle of wine - by his collar with one hand, while the other punched him repeatedly in the face. He roared in drunken appreciation of the spectacle, while two groaning bodies behind him gave witness that Lord Partridge's current punching bag had not been his first. Spotting the newcomers, some of which were (apparently) women, he tossed the bleeding victim aside and gave his full attention to the ladies. Then, surprisingly, he broke into an impromptu haiku:He helpfully pointed at the floor immediately before him, then gave Rale a focused look, shaking his head as if not understanding what he was seeing, for he saw not only the skinny girl of Rale's image but also the true form of the male human rogue hidden underneath. Scanning at the various newcomers in turn, he broke out into a broad grin, and, looking directly at the "skinny boy," said:He thrust with his pelvis suggestively, never breaking eye contact with an astonished Delphyne. Then, suddenly, he realized what the sudden appearance of the Wing Three adventurers meant, and did his drunken best to patch over his cover story. "Hey! What are you guys doing here? Uh, my great uncle said he was going to get some sleep, and, uh, told me I could go take a break for awhile...."</p><p></p><p>Telgrane responded in the most direct way possible. Standing over by the tavern door (having been one of the last to enter), he cast a <em>polar ray</em> directly at Cal's chest. Lord Partridge roared in drunken fury, then made eye contact with Telgrane and spoke.Not surprisingly, combat erupted in the Pit-Fight. Belligrose had been rounding the bar with a heavy club in his hand, intending to try to deal with a drunken Cal by himself, but gratefully stepped back behind the bar and allowed the seasoned adventurers to deal with him instead. He gestured for some of the other bar patrons to get out of the way, and many of them did just that, not wanting to get in the middle of a bar fight between powerful heroes.</p><p></p><p>Aerik had stepped up with his axe at the ready, but Lord Partridge dropped something from his pocket and said a word or two in the Far Eastern language his servants had also used back at his manor house. A jade dragon figurine hit the floor and immediately expanded to a coiled, serpentine dragon spanning some 20 feet or more. It bit at Aerik; Galrich, having intended to strike out at Lord Partridge, redirected his attack to save his loyal bodyguard instead.</p><p></p><p>Dez cast a <em>hold person</em> at Lord Partridge, hoping to nip this combat in the bud quickly. Instead, her spell rebounded off of one of the <em>ioun stones</em> orbiting Cal's head, and she found herself frozen stiff instead. Almost at the same time, Delphyne tried a similar tactic, casting a <em>baleful polymorph</em> spell that would have turned Cal's body into that of a bunny rabbit, but it also rebounded and struck her instead; fortunately, she was able to resist the effects of her own spell and remained quite human.</p><p></p><p>Lord Partridge was feeling pretty confident, for he realized the heroes wouldn't want to kill him, while he had no such compunctions against killing them. He called out, in sudden inspiration to the group at large:Then, inspiration struck again, and he followed up with:And he whipped out another item from his belt, this one a short rod with an expensive-looking diamond on the tip. Pointing it at Telgrane, he activated it and a <em>lightning bolt</em> went tearing across the tavern, catching Aerik, Rale, Infernia (who had just been released from her tinder box mere moments before), and Telgrane.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane responded by casting a <em>meteor swarm</em> spell, this time targeting the black-scaled dragon, which had been lining itself up for what was likely to be an unknown breath weapon attack catching most of the heroes in its area of effect. The meteors plowed into the dragon's body and then exploded into flames that caught only Lord Partridge in its blast radius - for again, the archmage had shaped his spell to avoid putting his comrades into the area of effect. However, the fiery explosion had no effect on Lord Partridge, for he carried a <em>pearl of fire resistance</em> that absorbed the flames. Aerik and Galrich renewed their efforts against the serpentine foe, and Thunderwolf sent several arrows deep into the dragon's body. Delphyne, seeing that the group was desperately concentrating on the dragon, sent a few blasts from her handy <em>wand of magic missiles</em> as well, and the dragon quickly reverted to its jade statue form, clattering to the floor. Galrich had the presence of mind to cry out "Dibs!" before turning to face Lord Partridge - while still wearing the illusory image of a busty tavern wench.</p><p></p><p>Rale grabbed one of his little-used weapons, a cursed item he had kept from the Lockpick Dungeons that he had dubbed "<em>the whip of nudity</em>." It was an enchanted bullwhip with a dweomer that helped steer its leather end to its target - but turned the wielder's clothes invisible while doing so. (It was never known whether Rale was counting on Dez's <em>seeming</em> spell to keep him "clothed" in illusory clothing, or whether he just didn't care that he was flashing the bar with his attacks. Of course, with Rale, it might not have been "he didn't care" so much as "he actively enjoyed the side effect.") Rale snapped three rapid strikes of the whip at Cal's body, hoping to trip the drunken bodythief, but Lord Partridge grabbed the end on the third strike and yanked it out of the rogue's hand, casting it contemptuously behind him.</p><p></p><p>Another <em>polar ray</em> from Telgrane caught Lord Partridge in the chest, mere moments before Galrich's charge across the tavern ended with a meaty, half-orc fist fueled by the fires of rage delivering itself squarely into Cal's face. Lord Partridge went flying backwards to land on a wooden table which immediately collapsed under his weight. Delphyne approached cautiously, and saw that the bodythief was out cold.</p><p></p><p>"When Cal gets his body back, he's going to have a broken nose," she observed.</p><p></p><p> - - - </p><p></p><p>Cal did indeed get his body back, for Quiffington, now back in a human body and powered by the mind-fragments of four different wizards, had studied the bodyswapping ritual extensively and was willing to return Cal and Lord Partridge to their respective bodies. And better yet, Lord Partridge had already prepared the runes on the floor of his living room, so it was a simple matter of placing Cal, in Lord Partridge's body, back into the bed from which he had escaped that morning, and a trussed-up Lord Partridge, in Cal's body, back in the chair at his side. Quiffington performed the ritual, and the two souls returned to their rightful bodies. Cal was released from his thick chains after he provided the simple word, "Musclebutt," while Lord Partridge had slightly more to say. Waking up to find himself back in his old body, he opened his rheumy eyes, and recited:A single tear slid down his cheek before his heart, overburdened by the excitement, silently gave out.</p><p></p><p> - - - </p><p></p><p>Cal was pleased to be back in his own body, but was irritated not only by the broken nose but also by the burning sensation in his loins the first time he urinated. "That bastard!" he cried out from the men's room of the Wing Three living quarters.</p><p></p><p>Still, overall, the events had played out to his favor. Lord Byron Partridge's plan to swap bodies after having signed his entire fortune over to Cal had been intended as a way to prolong his own life while "inheriting" all of his own worldly goods and sticking Cal with his worthless, dying body, but once the two had been returned to their own normal forms, the documents he had signed were still perfectly legal. Cal found himself with 250,000 gold pieces of readily-available cash, as well as the owner of a merchant fleet of ships that did steady trade with the Far East.</p><p></p><p>And one quick <em>heal</em> spell took care of both the broken nose and the case of the clap that Lord Partridge had left him with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Richards, post: 6315607, member: 508"] [b]ADVENTURE 82: DUDE, WHERE'S MY BODY?[/b] PC Roster: [INDENT]Delphyne Babelberi, human witch (wizard)/archwitch Galrich Slayer, half-orc barbarian Rale Bodkin, human rogue Telgrane, half-fire elemental human conjurer/archmage Thunderwolf, human fighter[/INDENT] NPC Roster: [INDENT]Aerik Battershield, dwarven fighter/dwarven defender Desdemona Honeytongue, human wizard[/INDENT] Delphyne was once again the first one to rise in the morning. She put on a robe over her nightgown and padded quietly down the stairs to the Wing Three communal living area. Crossing the living room, she made her way to the kitchen to start up a fire and get some tea brewing. She stopped in the dining room, though, her tea momentarily forgotten. There on the dining room table was a folded piece of parchment; on top of it was a silver ring bearing the Adventurers Guild crest. Delphyne moved the ring aside and unfolded the parchment. it read:Delphyne picked the ring back up and peered at the engraving on the inside of the ring. Sure enough, it was inscribed "CAL TROP." "What've you got there?" asked Feron, walking into the dining room. Delphyne passed the letter on to the druid and told her to see for herself, then turned to get the tea started. - - - An hour later, the rest of the Wing Three adventurers were all awake and gathered around the dining room table, eating the remains of their breakfast and discussing Cal's sudden disappearance. "Do you think this is on the up-and-up?" asked Chalkan, clearly concerned. The last time one of their number had suddenly disappeared, he'd been transformed into an undead minion of Orcus, Demon Prince of the Undead. That's the sort of thing that only has to happen once to make a person somewhat uneasy. "I'll go check with my uncle," suggested Thunderwolf, heading off to Guildmaster Farthingale's office. "Should we try scrying on him?" asked Feron. The general consensus was that it might not be a bad idea, so Delphyne went back upstairs to her room and returned shortly with her [i]crystal ball[/i]. She'd known Cal for long enough that it was no trouble at all conjuring his image in her scrying sphere; within seconds, an image formed in her [i]crystal ball[/i], one of Cal sitting in a chair, reading from a thick book. Lying in a bed next to him was an elderly man, liver spots sprinkled on his nearly-bald head. He lay on his pillow with his eyes half-closed, and a slight smile on his face. "Everything looks pretty straightforward," commented Rale. "Agreed," replied Delphyne, dismissing the image with a wave of her hand. - - - Two rather uneventful days passed, with the only bit of excitement being Galrich complaining of violent nightmares. Then, on the morning of the third day, the group was once again gathering around the table for breakfast when an audible "pop" sound emanated from the living room. Aerik and Galrich happened to be the closest at hand; they turned and saw an unusual sight: there, sitting in the middle of the living room floor, was a wrinkled figure in a soiled nightshirt. A manacle encompassed each thin wrist, with a short strand of chain dangling from each manacle. He sat upright on the floor, looking around wearily with squinting eyes. "Cal..." he wheezed in a voice barely loud enough to hear. "Cal...Trop...." "He's not here," replied Galrich, seemingly unfazed by the fact that an old man had just teleported into his living room. "No," the old man said with obvious effort. "I'm...Cal...." Then he collapsed backwards on the floor, his strength obviously spent. Telgrane had caught the old man's sudden appearance, but hadn't been close enough to make out any of his words. Still, he was at the old man's side in a flash, and held his hand out to the burly half-orc. "I need a healing potion," the archmage commanded, knowing full well that Galrich spent most of his time in full armor with as much adventuring gear on his person as was generally feasible - even when simply dressing for breakfast. Galrich grumbled, but passed over a healing potion to the archmage. Telgrane popped off the cork, lifted the old man's head up, and carefully poured its contents between the old man's parched lips. "He says he's Cal," remarked Galrich. "What?" asked Telgrane in astonishment. "'S'true," confirmed Aerik. "That's what he said, anyways." "It is true," replied the old man, as everyone gathered around him. "I'm Cal Trop." "You're the old man Cal was reading to," replied Delphyne. "We saw you, in my [i]crystal ball[/i]." "That was a [i]screen[/i] spell," the old man replied. "[b]Lord Byron Partridge[/b]...my great uncle...swapped bodies with me. He's got a pet wizard...name of [b]Nornabar[/b], casts that spell every day." "If you are Cal," said Telgrane warily, "then I'm sure you'll understand that we'll need some way to confirm that you're really you. Tell us something only he would know." The old man closed his eyes wearily in thought, and was silent for long enough that the group started to wonder if he'd fallen asleep. Then he snapped his eyes back open, and replied, "Musclebutt." "Musclebutt?" repeated Feron in confusion. "That's the name...the Prime Fool put in his guest book...the nickname he gave me." "That's true," confirmed Delphyne. "That's what he called him. And that wouldn't have been put into any official report." "Wow," said Telgrane. "You really are an idiot. How'd you let a ninety-year-old man get the better of you?" Slowly, painfully, Cal - trapped in the body of Lord Byron Partridge - began to tell his story. Telgrane quickly took pity on Cal's pathetic attempts to catch enough breath to speak, and cast a [i]Rary's telepathic bond[/i] so that he could tell his tale without having to constantly gasp for breath. Everything in the note Cal had left was true; he had in fact written it shortly after having been approached by Partridge's lawyer, a man named [b]Renquist[/b]. Upon taking Cal to Lord Partridge's manor home, the cleric of Kord had met his great uncle for the first time. Lord Partridge was propped up by pillows in a large bed centered in a dark room that had apparently originally been a living room, but all of the other furniture had been pushed against the walls to make way not only for Lord Partridge's bed but a comfortable-looking chair sitting alongside it. A single candle burning in a holder on a bookcase was the only illumination in the room, for while the back wall was covered in windows all of the heavy curtains were pulled shut. The three men were not alone in the room, for standing around the bed, chanting in unison, were half a dozen robed figures; Renquist explained them as clerics doing their best to keep Lord Partridge alive and comfortable in his final days. Cal was introduced to his uncle, and then Renquist got straight down to business, showing the cleric of Kord the paperwork that would leave all of the Partridge fortune to him upon his great uncle's death. "And you signed it?" asked Telgrane aloud is disbelief. "It was legit," replied Cal over the [i]telepathic bond[/i]. "Completely legal. No illusions, I checked." What he had failed to notice - not surprisingly, given the dim illumination in the room - were the concentric circles carved into the floor, one set centered on the bed and another centered on the chair at its side; had Cal been able to inspect them (had he even seen them at all), he'd likely have recognized the runes carved around the circles as being similar in nature to the ones carved for the bodyswapping rituals in the stone giant caves the halfling wizards had used several months ago. In any case, shortly after having signed the legal documents, Cal experienced a flash of dizziness, seemed to pass out for a moment, and woke up in the elderly Partridge's body. Lord Partridge, now in Cal's body, quickly forced a sickly-smelling liquid down what until moments ago was his own throat, and Cal lost consciousness almost immediately. He didn't feel the manacles being attached from each thin wrist to the metal bed frame. "So how'd you escape?" asked Rale. "I was kept drugged," replied Cal, "and even so, I was trapped in an old man's body requiring a lot of sleep. They took my spell components from me, so I was limited to what spells I could pray for, and cast. But eventually, I managed to stay awake long enough to pray to Kord for a [i]word of recall[/i] spell to return me here." He had used his daily feat of strength - available to him regardless of which body he was currently inhabiting, fortunately - as a cleric of the Lord of Strength to break the manacles' chains and cast his spell to return to the Wing Three living quarters. "So Lord Partridge is running around in a body containing the blood of Kord, while Cal here's trapped in a feeble old body that's likely to expire in days," recapped Rale. He shook his head sadly. "You're a doofus." "We're going to need to get Cal's body back," determined Telgrane. He turned to Cal, who was starting to drift off to sleep, this having been more excitement than Lord Partridge's body was equipped to handle. "Hey, wake up!" he said, shaking Cal gently. "Do you know where you were being held? And can you draw us a map of the manor house, give us an idea of who all we might encounter there, that sort of thing?" Cal hadn't seen much of the manor house's interior, just the short path from the front door to the repurposed living room where he had been chained to the bed once he had been unwittingly bodyswapped, but he was able to tell the group how to get there and who else lived in the manor. Besides Renquist and the wizard Nornabar, there were about a dozen servants, all dressed in Far Eastern garb - Lord Partridge had spent quite a bit of time in the Far East, and in fact that's where a lot of his trading business was located. The servants were all very deferential to Lord Partridge, even more so once he wore Cal's powerful body. But then, having proven that the bodyswapping ritual was a success, Cal imagined the promise of a younger, more powerful body once their original one wore out would be a very good incentive towards loyalty to Lord Partridge's retainers. (He was convinced that had already been considered by the wizard Nornabar, whose long white beard spoke of many decades of life thus far.) The group got Cal comfortable in his own bed - if not in his own body - and then decided who was going to go pay the Partridge manor house a visit. Rale, Telgrane, and Thunderwolf were a given, as they had no "bink partners," and Aerik and Dez would naturally be accompanying their respective leaders. Feron offered to look after Cal, so Delphyne gathered up her gear and the group headed out to the Partridge Manor, in one of the richest quarters of Greyhawk City. Once there, they huddled behind a large shrub and decided on a course of action. Rale took the lead, and donned one of the pair of the group's [i]scout goggles[/i], giving the other pair to Delphyne. Then he and Dez walked up the cobblestone path to Partridge Manor, confident that Delphyne would be watching their progress from a distance and the group would be able to bail them out if need be. With a [i]Rary's telepathic bond[/i] spell keeping everyone able to communicate with each other (except Dez - Telgrane still couldn't manage to link more than six people, but he was working on it), they were confident that they had taken all of the precautions they could. The two stepped onto a broad porch, flanked by two large, stone sculptures of fierce-looking samurai, swords drawn menacingly. Rale knocked boldly on the door, which was answered in a few seconds by Renquist. He looked bewilderingly at the pair and asked, hesitantly, "Yes?" "Good morning to you, sir," replied Rale. "We're from the Greyhawk City Fine Arts Department, and I wonder if we could have a few moments with Lord Partridge about sponsorship of an upcoming play I believe he would be greatly interested in." "I'm very sorry," Renquist replied. "Lord Partridge is currently indisposed." He started to close the door. "No matter!" responded Rale, sticking his foot in the door and more or less forcing his way into the manor's foyer. "Perhaps we could speak to you on his behalf, and you could set us up with an appointment to see Lord Partridge at his convenience!" "I really don't--" sputtered Renquist, but a quick [i]suggestion[/i] spell from Dez changed his mind at once. "Uh, very well, this way, if you please." He led them to an antechamber, and asked them to wait there while he fetched Nornabar. But almost immediately, a door to the north opened - the door leading to the living room where Cal had been imprisoned, according to Cal's hastily-scribbled map of the parts of the house he had seen - and a Far Eastern woman stepped through, closing the door quietly behind her. She scrutinized Rale and Dez without a word. "Uh, these two--" began Renquist, but was cut short by the serving girl's loud "Haaaaai!" and instant combat stance, one arm raised above her in a striking stance, the other balanced before her to block any incoming blows, and her slender weight balanced easily on the balls of her feet. Her combat scream was echoed from the other side of the foyer; apparently it had been an alarm to the rest of her servants that there were intruders in the house. "Uh, I really don't believe--" began Renquist, before the serving girl attacked. The lawyer scrambled back out of the way with a startled cry as the young lady began a flurry of blows against Rale, who did his level best to dodge them. "The jig's up!" called Rale over the [i]telepathic bond[/i], but Delphyne had seen all and responded by [i]teleporting[/i] the rest of the group directly into the antechamber with Rale, Dez, and the others. The servant monk seemed unfazed by the sudden arrival of the adventurers, concentrating on striking out at Rale. Renquist took the opportunity to duck back into the library through a southern door, as the door from the foyer opened up and at least half a dozen other monks came screaming towards the intruders. Delphyne responded with a [i]Bigby's crushing hand[/i] spell, pushing the incoming monks back down the hallway from which they had come. Then, having cleared some room, she followed into the foyer, where it was far less crowded. Behind her, Aerik fought the furious servant monk, eventually killing her, while Dez stood on the sofa staying out of the way. Galrich and Thunderwolf headed into the corridor to take on the monks even now fighting their way past the giant hand-shaped energy wielded by Delphyne. In the back of the monks' formation, Nornabar was able to cast a [i]mass hold person[/i], affecting Galrich and Thunderwolf and holding them fast. The nearest monk took the opportunity to assault Thunderwolf repeatedly, but the tough fighter seemed able to shrug off the blows even while magically immobilized. Telgrane cast a shaped [i]cloudkill[/i] down the narrow corridor, catching a row of monks even now struggling to make their way to the combat. Unseen by the archmage, Nornabar was at the rear of the line, but he quickly hightailed it once the cloud of poison gas started heading his way. Telgrane released Infernia from her tinderbox, and the Large fire elemental went bounding down the cloud-filled corridor, unaffected by the poison gas, searching for the spellcaster who would dare to try to harm her master. Delphyne cast a [i]magic circle against evil[/i] which allowed Galrich and Thunderwolf to regain their mobility - as long as they stayed close by her. Aerik and Rale dashed into the library to see if there were any enemies to be found there, but all they saw was Renquist cowering behind a cot - apparently, he had been sleeping here in the library during the recent events involved in swapping bodies between Lord Partridge and Cal. While Aerik concentrated on trying to beat - or scare - information out of the frightened lawyer, Rale eased open a window and slid out onto the front lawn, thinking to sneak up behind the group of monks and strike from an unsuspected side. One of the monks popped out of a door at the far side of the house, which apparently led to the stables, and called some words in a language none of the heroes had ever heard before. Rale had the best view as the two samurai statues suddenly lurched into life. They spun to the front door, one of them wrenched it off its hinges with a powerful tug, and then they started attacking the heroes in the foyer. Back in the house, Infernia caught up to Nornabar and grappled with the elderly wizard, engulfing him in her fiery embrace. As his robes started smoldering, he realized he wouldn't get to experience a new replacement body for himself if he burned to death in Lord Partridge's manor, and surrendered immediately. Infernia, unsure of what to do in such an instance, continued grappling the wizard but suppressed her flames - something she'd been working on since Telgrane gave her the [i]ring of fire resistance[/i] - and dragged him back through the [i]cloudkill[/i] spell to her master. Delphyne repositioned her [i]Bigby's crushing hand[/i] to assault one of the animated samurai statues. Rale sent a few arrows at the last remaining monk, which caused him to spin around and race back indoors. Rale chased him inside, to find that it was a stables, of sorts - only the horses were all skeletal. The monk was opening the stall doors and commanding the undead horses in the same musical language he had used to activate the samurai statues, but Rale caught up to him and quickly dispatched him with his two short swords, then hurried back outside and slammed the stable door shut again. The undead horses didn't follow. Inside the house, the combat was dying down. One of the statues had already been smashed to rubble; once the second samurai stone golem had been destroyed, all sounds of combat ceased in the area. A quick search of Partridge Manor verified that Nornabar and Renquist were the only survivors of the manor house battle, and the lawyer quickly spilled all that he knew. While he was unsure of Lord Partridge's exact current whereabouts, he listed off a number of likely possibilities, consisting mostly of pubs and cat-houses (the elderly man making the very best use of Cal's powerful body and his sudden return to youthfulness) that Lord Partridge had been frequenting of late. After several hours of searching the establishments on Renquist's list, the group found themselves standing outside the Pit-Fight, and heard Cal's unmistakable voice roaring in drunken laughter, among the sounds of what was clearly a bar fight. Dez cast a quick [i]seeming[/i] spell on the group, to hide their identities from Lord Partridge (who, according to Renquist, was an Adventurers Guild patron and had read all of the files on the Wing Three adventurers, and thus knew what they all looked like). Not everyone was particularly thrilled with Dez's choice in disguise: Telgrane now looked like a gnome; Rale a skinny girl and Delphyne a skinny boy; Aerik looked like a chubby human barman; Galrich was now, to all appearances, a busty tavern wench; and Dez looked like a fat male merchant. Only Thunderwolf truly appreciated his illusory disguise, for he looked like a half-elf assassin. "Bad-ass!" he said in approval. The group entered the Pit Fight, and sure enough, there was Lord Partridge in Cal's body, holding a bloody bar patron - and a half-finished bottle of wine - by his collar with one hand, while the other punched him repeatedly in the face. He roared in drunken appreciation of the spectacle, while two groaning bodies behind him gave witness that Lord Partridge's current punching bag had not been his first. Spotting the newcomers, some of which were (apparently) women, he tossed the bleeding victim aside and gave his full attention to the ladies. Then, surprisingly, he broke into an impromptu haiku:He helpfully pointed at the floor immediately before him, then gave Rale a focused look, shaking his head as if not understanding what he was seeing, for he saw not only the skinny girl of Rale's image but also the true form of the male human rogue hidden underneath. Scanning at the various newcomers in turn, he broke out into a broad grin, and, looking directly at the "skinny boy," said:He thrust with his pelvis suggestively, never breaking eye contact with an astonished Delphyne. Then, suddenly, he realized what the sudden appearance of the Wing Three adventurers meant, and did his drunken best to patch over his cover story. "Hey! What are you guys doing here? Uh, my great uncle said he was going to get some sleep, and, uh, told me I could go take a break for awhile...." Telgrane responded in the most direct way possible. Standing over by the tavern door (having been one of the last to enter), he cast a [i]polar ray[/i] directly at Cal's chest. Lord Partridge roared in drunken fury, then made eye contact with Telgrane and spoke.Not surprisingly, combat erupted in the Pit-Fight. Belligrose had been rounding the bar with a heavy club in his hand, intending to try to deal with a drunken Cal by himself, but gratefully stepped back behind the bar and allowed the seasoned adventurers to deal with him instead. He gestured for some of the other bar patrons to get out of the way, and many of them did just that, not wanting to get in the middle of a bar fight between powerful heroes. Aerik had stepped up with his axe at the ready, but Lord Partridge dropped something from his pocket and said a word or two in the Far Eastern language his servants had also used back at his manor house. A jade dragon figurine hit the floor and immediately expanded to a coiled, serpentine dragon spanning some 20 feet or more. It bit at Aerik; Galrich, having intended to strike out at Lord Partridge, redirected his attack to save his loyal bodyguard instead. Dez cast a [i]hold person[/i] at Lord Partridge, hoping to nip this combat in the bud quickly. Instead, her spell rebounded off of one of the [i]ioun stones[/i] orbiting Cal's head, and she found herself frozen stiff instead. Almost at the same time, Delphyne tried a similar tactic, casting a [i]baleful polymorph[/i] spell that would have turned Cal's body into that of a bunny rabbit, but it also rebounded and struck her instead; fortunately, she was able to resist the effects of her own spell and remained quite human. Lord Partridge was feeling pretty confident, for he realized the heroes wouldn't want to kill him, while he had no such compunctions against killing them. He called out, in sudden inspiration to the group at large:Then, inspiration struck again, and he followed up with:And he whipped out another item from his belt, this one a short rod with an expensive-looking diamond on the tip. Pointing it at Telgrane, he activated it and a [i]lightning bolt[/i] went tearing across the tavern, catching Aerik, Rale, Infernia (who had just been released from her tinder box mere moments before), and Telgrane. Telgrane responded by casting a [i]meteor swarm[/i] spell, this time targeting the black-scaled dragon, which had been lining itself up for what was likely to be an unknown breath weapon attack catching most of the heroes in its area of effect. The meteors plowed into the dragon's body and then exploded into flames that caught only Lord Partridge in its blast radius - for again, the archmage had shaped his spell to avoid putting his comrades into the area of effect. However, the fiery explosion had no effect on Lord Partridge, for he carried a [i]pearl of fire resistance[/i] that absorbed the flames. Aerik and Galrich renewed their efforts against the serpentine foe, and Thunderwolf sent several arrows deep into the dragon's body. Delphyne, seeing that the group was desperately concentrating on the dragon, sent a few blasts from her handy [i]wand of magic missiles[/i] as well, and the dragon quickly reverted to its jade statue form, clattering to the floor. Galrich had the presence of mind to cry out "Dibs!" before turning to face Lord Partridge - while still wearing the illusory image of a busty tavern wench. Rale grabbed one of his little-used weapons, a cursed item he had kept from the Lockpick Dungeons that he had dubbed "[i]the whip of nudity[/i]." It was an enchanted bullwhip with a dweomer that helped steer its leather end to its target - but turned the wielder's clothes invisible while doing so. (It was never known whether Rale was counting on Dez's [i]seeming[/i] spell to keep him "clothed" in illusory clothing, or whether he just didn't care that he was flashing the bar with his attacks. Of course, with Rale, it might not have been "he didn't care" so much as "he actively enjoyed the side effect.") Rale snapped three rapid strikes of the whip at Cal's body, hoping to trip the drunken bodythief, but Lord Partridge grabbed the end on the third strike and yanked it out of the rogue's hand, casting it contemptuously behind him. Another [i]polar ray[/i] from Telgrane caught Lord Partridge in the chest, mere moments before Galrich's charge across the tavern ended with a meaty, half-orc fist fueled by the fires of rage delivering itself squarely into Cal's face. Lord Partridge went flying backwards to land on a wooden table which immediately collapsed under his weight. Delphyne approached cautiously, and saw that the bodythief was out cold. "When Cal gets his body back, he's going to have a broken nose," she observed. - - - Cal did indeed get his body back, for Quiffington, now back in a human body and powered by the mind-fragments of four different wizards, had studied the bodyswapping ritual extensively and was willing to return Cal and Lord Partridge to their respective bodies. And better yet, Lord Partridge had already prepared the runes on the floor of his living room, so it was a simple matter of placing Cal, in Lord Partridge's body, back into the bed from which he had escaped that morning, and a trussed-up Lord Partridge, in Cal's body, back in the chair at his side. Quiffington performed the ritual, and the two souls returned to their rightful bodies. Cal was released from his thick chains after he provided the simple word, "Musclebutt," while Lord Partridge had slightly more to say. Waking up to find himself back in his old body, he opened his rheumy eyes, and recited:A single tear slid down his cheek before his heart, overburdened by the excitement, silently gave out. - - - Cal was pleased to be back in his own body, but was irritated not only by the broken nose but also by the burning sensation in his loins the first time he urinated. "That bastard!" he cried out from the men's room of the Wing Three living quarters. Still, overall, the events had played out to his favor. Lord Byron Partridge's plan to swap bodies after having signed his entire fortune over to Cal had been intended as a way to prolong his own life while "inheriting" all of his own worldly goods and sticking Cal with his worthless, dying body, but once the two had been returned to their own normal forms, the documents he had signed were still perfectly legal. Cal found himself with 250,000 gold pieces of readily-available cash, as well as the owner of a merchant fleet of ships that did steady trade with the Far East. And one quick [i]heal[/i] spell took care of both the broken nose and the case of the clap that Lord Partridge had left him with. [/QUOTE]
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