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Wing Three
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<blockquote data-quote="Richards" data-source="post: 6417776" data-attributes="member: 508"><p><strong>ADVENTURE 87: DESDEMONA HONEYTONGUE CAN GO TO HELL</strong></p><p></p><p>PC Roster: </p><p style="margin-left: 20px">Chalkan, half-elf ranger/cleric of Corellon Larethian/sorcerer/arcane archer</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Delphyne Babelberi, human witch (wizard)</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Rale Bodkin, human rogue</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Telgrane, half-fire elemental human conjurer/archmage</p> <p style="margin-left: 20px"> Thunderwolf, human fighter</p><p></p><p>NPC Roster:</p><p style="margin-left: 20px">Desdemona Honeytongue, human wizard</p><p></p><p>Binked In: </p><p style="margin-left: 20px">Galrich Slayer, half-orc barbarian</p><p></p><p></p><p>It was a frantic day behind the scenes of the Greyhawk Theater. Dez had been running around in a frenzy, trying to get all of the last-minute details hammered into shape for the opening of her first play on stage at this prestigious location. This was, at long last, her shot at establishing a good name for herself among the upper classes and she desperately wanted to make a good showing. Rale and the rest of the acting troupe had been scrambling with her to get everything done.</p><p></p><p>Finally, though, a break appeared in all the hubbub and bustle. Dez looked around for Rale, suddenly realizing that he'd been missing for awhile. Then, unexpectedly, he entered the backstage area with a cake topped with burning candles. Flanking him were a handful of the Wing Three Adventurers Guild members. "Happy birthday!" everyone cheered.</p><p></p><p>Dez dutifully made a wish and blew out the candles before turning to Rale and saying, "But my birthday isn't until tomorrow!"</p><p></p><p>"Well, it wouldn't be a surprise tomorrow, would it?" he grinned. "Plus, it's a dual-purpose cake: 'happy birthday' and 'break a leg.'"</p><p></p><p>A crooked smile appeared on Dez's face, partly due to her appreciation that Rale had remembered her birthday - her big one, too, her 21st! - and partly at the realization that he had found a way to save himself some coin by merging two cake occasions into one.</p><p></p><p>Regardless, the cake was quite delicious and served as a well-needed interruption in the hecticness of the day thus far. But tonight's opening was only hours away, and the acting troupe soon found themselves back at the grind of last-minute changes and improvements.</p><p></p><p>- - -</p><p></p><p>That evening, Rale and Dez were backstage behind the curtain, ready for the play to begin. It was a dramatic retelling of one of their recent adventures - the fight between a heroic band of rugged heroes and the green dragon Antharvalos in his forest lair - although it had been embellished just a bit: for one thing, the roles of the dashing male rogue and his spunky female sorcerous cohort had been elevated almost beyond recognition, whereas the frumpy-looking elven druidess, "Deron Fru," spent most of her time mooning over Rale, and the trio of dwarven, half-orc, and human warriors seemed almost embarrassingly timid, only daring to stride into combat after Rale led the way. But Rale had no doubt it would be a hit; after all, the nobility loved stories of heroic adventurers - it was a life they often envied, but a path they generally dared not tread themselves. And with Dez's illusion spells at the ready, the "dragon" they would fight was sure to be a hit.</p><p></p><p>Out in the entryway of the theater, a handful of Wing Three adventurers prepared to enter and take their seats. "Are you sure you don't want to sit up in one of the balconies?" asked Delphyne. "Telgrane and I will be up there, and you can see the stage much better from that level."</p><p></p><p>"No way!" groused Chalkan, still upset that he'd been told he wouldn't be allowed to bring his bow with him to the theater. "Thunderwolf and I will be in the back row, closest to the exit doors, so we can get out of here as soon as this thing's over." At his side, the young human fighter nodded his agreement. He, too, felt naked without his weapons and armor.</p><p></p><p>"Well, then, have a good time," said Telgrane, turning to head up the stairs to his balcony seat.</p><p></p><p>"Wait!" called Delphyne, putting a hand on the archmage's shoulder. "How about casting a <em>Rary's telepathic bond</em> spell on us first?"</p><p></p><p>Telgrane tilted his head in puzzlement. "Are you expecting we'll be called away to combat?" he asked. The flames from his eyes briefly flared in emotion - and after he'd been concentrating on dampening down the effect so as not to alert the theater-goers.</p><p></p><p>"Well, no," admitted the young witch. "I just thought we could use it as, you know, a heckling conduit. We can make all the comments we want about this horror of a play without disturbing anyone else." Delphyne had heard snippets of what to expect from Rale and Dez rehearsing and was prepared not to be amused. Her views on "that whore" were well known among the members of Wing Three, and she was glad there would not be a "Belphyne Dabbleberry" character appearing on stage.</p><p></p><p>"Yes!" exclaimed Chalkan, his expectations for a pleasant evening rising significantly at the very thought.</p><p></p><p>"Do it!" encouraged Thunderwolf. He had no bad feelings towards Dez, but silent heckling <em>did</em> sound like an awful lot of fun.</p><p></p><p>"Very well," replied Telgrane, popping open his tinderbox so he could add Infernia to the mental link. She had promised to remain in her cinder form during the play, for while she had been practicing not setting things ablaze she hadn't entirely mastered the art just yet. Plus, a nine-foot-tall fire elemental was sure to be somewhat of a distraction to the others in the audience.</p><p></p><p>"Let's go," said Delphyne after the spell was in place, leading Telgrane up the stairs to their two-person balcony on the right side of the theater, while Thunderwolf and Chalkan cracked silent jokes over the <em>telepathic bond</em> on either side of the main exit doors.</p><p></p><p>Once everyone had taken their seats, the lights - <em>everburning torches</em> with some sort of variable illumination control, Telgrane noted from above - dimmed, a hush came over the audience, and the velvet curtains opened for the first scene.</p><p></p><p>"...And the torment begins," said Delphyne over the mental link.</p><p></p><p>- - -</p><p></p><p>Dez was enjoying herself immensely on stage. The play seemed to be very well received thus far, with laughter at the appropriate times - Rale had discovered during the writing stage that rewriting the dialogue of a historical event allowed one to come up with the exact best thing to say in any given situation, and his character came across as very smooth-tongued and quick-witted indeed as a result - and a palpable sense of excitement as the stage players neared the dragon's lair. Right now, she and Rale were the only two on stage, giving an impassioned speech about the importance of being an example for those lesser heroes who needed a role model to follow. Positioned as they were facing the audience, they had a perfect view of the large circle irising open against the back wall of the theater, reddish light spilling from it and capturing in silhouette the metallic figure that scuttled out of it.</p><p></p><p>It was a spider, but one made entirely of metal. The thing scurried out of the vertical circle and down the central aisle of the theater, heedless as its eight mechanical legs trampled over audience members in the first three seats on either side of the central aisle as it did so.</p><p></p><p>In an instant, chaos erupted everywhere in the Greyhawk Theater.</p><p></p><p>As the spider-thing's body passed over them, Thunderwolf and Chalkan sprang to their feet, each instinctively grabbing for a weapon that wasn't there. The screams of those around them caused a panic even among those who had not yet even seen the spider's silent entrance. But each mechanical leg's stride either knocked a theater-goer out of his seat or impaled him on its pointed end.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane called out a single word over the <em>telepathic bond</em>: "Retriever!" It was larger than he had come to believe these creatures generally were, but then, as a construct, a retriever could be built to just about any size, he supposed.</p><p></p><p>Chalkan got in the first strike; he'd been disallowed to bring any weapons with him larger than a dagger, but there had been no prohibition against wands. He spoke the command word and three streaks of <em>magic missiles</em> buried themselves into the spider's metallic hide.</p><p></p><p>From the balcony, Telgrane could see the panicked crowd scrambling out of their seats and trying to all fit along the outer walls of the theater. He cast a modified <em>polar ray</em> down at the spider-construct. Using his archmage training, he converted the cold energy to sonic energy on the understanding that fewer creatures were immune to sonic damage than cold damage. The spell hit the retriever, but it was difficult for the archmage to see if he had actually done any damage to it - after all, against a metal automaton, any sonic damage was likely to be internal. He just hoped it hadn't bounced ineffectually against the creature's spell resistance. Telgrane hated it when that happened.</p><p></p><p>Up on stage, Dez froze in sudden panic. <em>This isn't part of the play!</em> her mind insisted on pointing out needlessly. She probably would have stood there motionless until the spider reached her, had Rale not scooped her up in his arms and pulled her behind the back curtain. As he did so, he called out a quick command to Delphyne at the top of his lungs, "SHUT DOWN THAT GATE!"</p><p></p><p>The witch looked at the glowing, reddish circle against the back wall. It blocked the only visible exit in the actual theater part of the building, although she knew from experience earlier that afternoon there were two exterior doors in the back, one in the prop room and one in the storage room. However, her current collection of prepared spells held nothing with which she might close the circular <em>gate</em>.</p><p></p><p>The panicked crowd fled from underneath the mechanical spider as it headed toward the stage, but they were unsure where safety lay after that. None seemed eager to go through the vertical red circle.</p><p></p><p>But that was because none of them were adventurers. At Delphyne's urging over the <em>telepathic bond</em>, Thunderwolf stuck his head through the circle for a quick peek and then pulled it right back out again. What he had seen was quite puzzling to the young fighter.</p><p></p><p>One the other side of the circle stood a completely different city from the Greyhawk City Thunderwolf had grown up in. This one was built mostly of iron, with iron buildings rising up to great, jagged heights from streets also made of iron. The iron was blackened, standing out in contrast from the reddish sky. Heat blasted Thunderwolf's face from his brief peek through the <em>gate</em>. He quickly described what he'd seen over the shared link.</p><p></p><p>"Hellish," commented Delphyne.</p><p></p><p>"Sounds like Dis," agreed Telgrane. "But that would mean this thing's devil-built. I thought retrievers were a demonic construction." He shrugged and returned his attention to the battle at hand.</p><p></p><p>Seeing its intended prey disappear, the diabolic retriever had fired a beam of red energy at the back curtain of the stage, setting it instantly ablaze. It scuttled the rest of the distance to the stage, its front legs getting a firm grip upon the slightly higher elevation of the wooden stage with their retractable blades.</p><p></p><p>"Any idea why this thing might be after us?" asked Rale from behind the now-burning curtain.</p><p></p><p>"No idea!" replied Dez, then grabbed Rale tight and cast a spell. The two <em>dimension door</em>ed across the length of the theater, appearing amid the crowd at the front doors, for the circular gate had just winked out as suddenly as it had appeared and there was now a mad rush by the audience to escape this ill-fated building.</p><p></p><p>However, the retriever was not fooled for an instant. It started immediately to turn around - but was grabbed by an enormous hand made of solid force that had suddenly appeared in front of it.</p><p></p><p>"Got it!" called Delphyne from up on the balcony, having just cast the <em>Bigby's crushing hand</em> spell that grappled the spider-construct. The look of pride on her face shattered a moment later, when the spider-construct popped out of view and her magical <em>hand</em> closed into a fist, there suddenly being nothing for it to grab onto.</p><p></p><p>Screams from the exit told everyone where the diabolic retriever had gone. Dez, about to make it out through the door to the relative safety of the street outside, suddenly saw the monstrous arachnid form materialize directly in front of her, its mechanical mouth-parts open wide to embrace her. She screamed in momentary panic, felt Rale grab her back from its clutches, and verbalized the words to another <em>dimension door</em> spell that returned the two back to the stage.</p><p></p><p>"Why's it after us?" Rale repeated.</p><p></p><p>"I DON'T KNOW!" screamed Dez, flustered beyond belief but honestly having no idea why she should suddenly have a giant spider monster trying to eat her. It was also sinking in that her hopes of stardom among the upper classes were apparently doomed to failure. There were bodies littered along the rows by the central aisle and a mob of flailing bodies at the exit as those in the theater tried to leave and those at the exit, whose path to freedom had suddenly been cut off by the appearance of the diabolic retriever just outside, tried desperately to get back inside. Being crushed among the panicking bodies were Thunderwolf and Chalkan, each now desperately wishing they had found a convenient excuse not to attend this opening night fiasco.</p><p></p><p>Through the open doorways, the spider-thing could see Dez and Rale back on the brightly-lit stage - although it didn't actually need to rely upon sight to know the exact location of its intended prey. It activated its inherent ability to <em>dimension door</em> and reappeared over by the stage once again. Rale quickly grabbed Dez again and pulled her into an adjacent side room, where props for other productions were kept. There were no lights on in this room, and they stumbled in the dark to find the exit.</p><p></p><p>But in a matter of seconds, the diabolic retriever had <em>dimension door</em>ed into the room with them, its vast bulk filling the storeroom from wall to wall. Dez and Rale were directly underneath its body. It opened its mouth-parts again....</p><p></p><p>...and Dez grabbed Rale by the shoulder and suddenly they were one balcony down from Telgrane and Delphyne.</p><p></p><p>"You didn't even say anything this time," commented Rale.</p><p></p><p>"I had one <em>silent dimension door</em> prepared," explained Dez. "But that was my last one. Hopefully, we'll be safe up here. It'll have to climb the wall to get to us - maybe that'll buy us some time."</p><p></p><p>A sudden thought struck the young actress. "Your Guild ring!" she exclaimed. "You can use it to escape back to HQ!"</p><p></p><p>In truth, the thought had already occurred to the rogue, but he'd reluctantly ignored the impulse in order to see to his cohort's safety. He was saved from having to give a response, though, as the diabolic retriever used the massive blades on its front four legs to shred its way through the wall of storage room. Another of its eyes flashed and a beam of energy struck out through the space between it and the balcony across the theater, striking Dez unerringly.</p><p></p><p>Dez barely had time to lift an arm as if to block off the attack. Her scream was cut off as her entire body instantly petrified into solid stone.</p><p></p><p>But Chalkan missed that part of the battle, for he was sprinting up the stairs to the balcony he had seen Rale and Dez suddenly appear in. He figured he'd get a better shot at fighting the spider-thing close up if he was where it would likely appear next. He was still only armed with a handful of wands and a dagger, but he was contemplating trying to smash some of its eyes. Meanwhile, at the exit, an unarmed Thunderwolf had decided his best course of action now was to ensure the safety of the theater-goers, and he ushered them through the doors, helping to pull those who were being pushed from behind back up onto their feet.</p><p></p><p>Up above, Delphyne leapt from the balcony, not wanting to stick around in case the spider headed over her way. A <em>feather fall</em> spell ensured she landed without harm from the 20-foot drop. She then redirected her <em>Bigby's crushing hand</em> spell over to grapple with the spider-thing once again. It gripped the construct by the head, but there was sufficient room for one of its eyes to focus on Dez's petrified form, and yet another beam struck out. This one remained more than a brief instant, bridging the gap between the Dez-statue and the spider-thing's eye and remaining in place, lifting Dez into the air and pulling her closer to the construct. Apparently it had been sent to retrieve Dez but wasn't particularly concerned by what kind of shape she was in when retrieved.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane cast more attack spells at the thing, converting over to sonic energy, but Delphyne called out a warning. "If we kill that thing while Dez is still in the air...." She didn't finish the thought, instead beginning the words to a <em>Bigby's forceful hand</em> spell, pushing Dez away from her, but also "landing" her safely on the theater floor as she did so. The green beam of telekinetic energy never broke its grip on Dez.</p><p></p><p>But the construct never did get to complete its mission, and Dez didn't make it any closer to the spider-thing. Another few spells from Telgrane and the beam shut off, the light died from the gems it had in place of eyes, and its mechanical legs relaxed as its heavy body crashed to the ground. A bright red glow exploded from it in a circle, and then the entire circle of light vanished, taking the arachnid automaton with it.</p><p></p><p>"Is everybody okay?" asked Rale. He had used his <em>winged boots</em> to fly down from the balcony to where Dez's stone body had landed. Chalkan had made it up to the balcony Rale had just left, and gave a thumbs up signal to the rogue down below. Thunderwolf replied from the theater's front entrance, where he was just now guiding the last of the surviving audience members to safety. Now that the diabolic retriever had been dealt with, Telgrane looked over to the stage and noticed the flames had burned down the back curtain and were doing a good job of engulfing the back of the stage and the room behind it. He summoned a group of water elementals to deal with the flames, and then dismissed them once the task had been finished.</p><p></p><p>"Anybody have any means of returning Dez back to flesh?" asked Rale, looking over at Telgrane and Delphyne. They both thought about it, as did Chalkan, a bit miffed that once again he had been overlooked as an arcane spellcaster. Delphyne had a <em>break enchantment</em> spell prepared, which in theory could reverse the transformation, although the witch had never used it in that fashion before. Telgrane had recently learned the <em>wish spell</em>, but was unsure if they needed to use such a powerful spell now when a lesser spell could easily be used later.</p><p></p><p>"Anybody have any ideas what this was all about?" asked Rale, looking at the petrified form of his cohort and not waiting for an answer to his first question.</p><p></p><p>"I believe I can exzzzzplain," said a voice from the stage.</p><p></p><p>Looking up at the stage, the heroes saw a trio of unusual figures, another red circle vanishing behind them. Flanked by two beautiful women, their angelic features only accentuated by the pair of white-feathered wings rising up from their shoulders, stood an elegantly-dressed figure, everything about him indicating a nobleman of the very highest class – except for his enormous fly's head. He held a hand up as if to indicate a truce, and his beautiful bodyguards, each holding a <em>flaming longbow</em> with an arrow nocked at the ready, had their weapons pointed at the floor of the stage rather than at any of the adventurers.</p><p></p><p>"I am <strong>Beezil</strong>," the fly-man announced by way of introduction. "You have dezzztroyed my my diabolic retriever, but I am willing to overlook that if you will allow me to take my property and leave you in peazzzze."</p><p></p><p>"And just what property are you talking about?" demanded Rale, certain he already knew the answer.</p><p></p><p>"Why, my bride-to-be," explained Beezil, indicating the statue of Dez, who still held her arm up as if to shield off an attack. "Perhapzzz I zzzhould explain." Rale's posture indicated he was willing to listen to the newcomer, and the other adventurers followed suit, although the "hecklers" were in frantic conversation over the <em>telepathic bond</em>.</p><p></p><p>"Are those angels?" Thunderwolf asked. "That doesn't make any sense." He wandered up the aisle to stand just behind Rale.</p><p></p><p>"Probably succubi," reasoned Delphyne.</p><p></p><p>"Succubi are demons," corrected Telgrane. "And they have bat wings. These must be some kind of diabolic equivalent."</p><p></p><p>"What kind of a devil is that Fly Guy?" Chalkan wanted to know.</p><p></p><p>"No idea," admitted Telgrane. "But if he's a devil, he's probably immune to fire." Telgrane - and especially his fire elemental familiar, Infernia - hated enemies who were immune to fire.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, though, Beezil began his story. "One night, zzzome eight yearzzz ago, Dezzzdemona'zzz father, Jank Zzztreetzzzweeper, drunkenly bemoaned hizzz fate to the heavenzzz above and wizzzhed he were a rich man inzzztead of zzztruggling to get by in the Zzztyezzz."</p><p></p><p>Over the <em>telepathic bond</em>, Chalkan repeated, "'<strong>Jank Streetsweeper</strong>'? And Dez grew up in the Styes?" This was all news to the arcane archer; Dez had never gone into much detail about her early life.</p><p></p><p>"I heard hizzz drunken appealzzz to Fate, and appeared before him. I offered him untold richezzz in exzzzchange for his immortal zzzoul. But drunk azzz he wazzz, he wazzzn't quite <em>that</em> drunk.</p><p></p><p>"Zzzo I azzzked him what elzzze he would be willing to zzzell me inzzztead of his zzzoul. And he zzzuggezzzted the hand of hizzz daughter in marriage.</p><p></p><p>"I wazzz flabbergazzzted. But I azzzked how much he wanted for hizzz daughter."</p><p></p><p>There was no way for Beezil's fly-head to express a smile, but the heroes could certainly hear it in his buzzing voice. "At firzzzt, Jank zzzuggezzzted 100 gold piezzzezzz. I inzzztantly agreed, but he zzzaw my eagernezzz and upped the cozzzt to 1,000 piezzzezzz of gold. I agreed to thizzz azzz well, but then he dezzzided he wazzz crafty enough to outzzzmart a devil, and upped the cozzzt to 'azzz much money azzz it takezzz to provide me with all of the boozzze I want for the rezzzt of my life.' And he had zzzome conditionzzz. Apparently, he wazzz okay with marrying hizzz only daughter off to a devil, but inzzzizzzted that I wait until zzzhe turned 21. I zzzuppozzze he figured zzzhe'd likely be married by then, and then there would be no harm by hizzz actionzzz.</p><p></p><p>"I pretended to think it over, and then reluctantly agreed. I produzzzed a contract for Jank to zzzign, with the termzzz exzzzactly azzz the drunkard had zzztated them. Jank zzzigned on the line...and then I killed him, immediately fulfilling my part of the bargain." The fly-headed devil pulled a rolled-up scroll from inside his vest pocket and held it out for Rale to see. "You may inzzzpect the document, if you wizzzh. You will find everything izzz in order."</p><p></p><p>"Maybe so, but you're a day early," replied Rale defiantly. "Dez doesn't turn 21 until tomorrow."</p><p></p><p>Beezil jumped as if stung. "Impozzzible. I zzzcried upon her, and zzzaw your birthday zzzelebrationzzz."</p><p></p><p>"One day early," replied Rale, feeling confident that he had the upper hand. They still had a day to deal with this, and if he could shoo this fly-devil away, he could get Cal to marry him to Dez tonight, thus preventing her from having to go through with this arranged marriage to a denizen of Hell.</p><p></p><p>Beezil's body buzzed in a sudden flurry of motion, his hands moving faster than could be seen. "Repeat that zzztatement," he ordered. Up on the balcony, Telgrane's magic-enhanced eyesight recognized the aura of a <em>zone of truth</em> spell the fly-devil had just cast on the area.</p><p></p><p>Rale cleared his throat dramatically and repeated, "Desdemona Honeytongue does not turn 21 until tomorrow."</p><p></p><p>Beezil flinched as if struck, and hastily rolled his contract back up, returning it to his inner vest pocket. "No matter," he replied. "I will take control of my merchandizzze now, and delay my gratificazzzhion until tomorrow." The unseen smile was back in his voice.</p><p></p><p>"I don't think so," replied Rale. He was wearing his full adventuring gear as part of his stage portrayal of Rale the Heroic Archetype, and pulled the hammer he used to pound pitons into place from his belt. Gripping it in his right hand, he took Dez's upheld left hand in his own and brought the hammer down in a powerful blow. Dez's left hand broke off at the wrist.</p><p></p><p>"Your contract gives you Dez's hand in marriage," Rale said, holding out the petrified hunk of stone. "Take it and go."</p><p></p><p>Beezil had but one reply to this effrontery. "Dezzztroy them all," he said to his bodyguards.</p><p></p><p>Instantly, the erinyes devils pulled up their <em>flaming longbows</em> and fired off shots, one targeting Telgrane (whose flaming eye sockets identified him as a potential source of powerful trouble), the other at Rale, apparently the leader of this group of mortals. But Rale activated one of the powers of his <em>rod of thievery</em>, turning himself instantly invisible while rising up into the air, courtesy of his <em>boots of flying</em>. The arrows whizzed by him without striking home.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane had been thinking furiously during Beezil's story, and commanded over the shared link, "Chalkan! We need Cal's <em>gem of soul trapping</em>! Bink back and have Galrich bring the gem if Cal's in the area!" The archmage was concerned that simply killing Beezil would allow his essence to remanifest in Dis, to trouble them again. He was hoping that if Cal's gem could contain the devil's essence for at least a day, they could break the contract Dez's father had signed before his death. In the meantime, he sent a <em>sonic meteor swarm</em> directly between Beezil's multifaceted eyes, catching both erinyes in the areas of effect as well.</p><p></p><p>"Got it!" Chalkan replied before binking out.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, Beezil cast a <em>mind fog</em> up at the balconies, catching not only Telgrane but a confused Galrich, who had just binked back into Chalkan's place, directly into the area of effect. "Cal's not at HQ!" he roared, quickly trying to get his bearings. <em>Theater, angels, fly guy, got it.</em> The half-orc succumbed to the spell's effects, but Telgrane managed to brush it off, as did Delphyne once the fog billowed down to encompass her location on the theater floor directly below the balconies.</p><p></p><p>One of the erinyes called forth and summoned additional allies. In a wink, four bearded devils appeared on stage, standing in an arc between Beezil and the heroes. Glaives gleaming, they grinned at the anticipation of the upcoming slaughter.</p><p></p><p>But so did Galrich. Raging, he leaped down from the balcony, landing on the back of a seat and running down the row until he hit the central aisle, where he charged the devils. Beezil tried using a <em>suggestion</em> that the half-orc barbarian might enjoy skewering his friends instead of him, but Galrich allowed his <em>ioun stone</em> to absorb the spell in its entirety. On his way, he tossed his own <em>flaming longbow</em> and a quiver of arrows at an appreciative Thunderwolf, who was delighted to be armed once again. The fighter put his expertise to immediate use, sending an arrow through the neck of one of the erinyes devils, slaying her outright.</p><p></p><p>Galrich waded into battle against the bearded devils, whose own battle-lust paled against that of the half-orc. He knew back at HQ, Aerik was undoubtedly throwing a fit, knowing the liege he had sworn to protect from all harm had once again ditched him to leap into battle. But Galrich didn't care; he was more focused on slaying the devils before him. And slay them he did, although the prospect was made much easier by a spell or two from Telgrane and Delphyne, who managed to blind not only Beezil but also half of the bearded devils.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane even allowed Infernia out of the tinder box, figuring she couldn't do too much more harm to the theater, which was already seriously burned in the back and had had several walls destroyed by the diabolic retriever. She manifested into her full form, Telgrane jumped upon her shoulders, and she leapt down to the floor below. Telgrane's last few spells in the battle were cast from this precarious position, but Infernia was more than happy to have her master perched up where she always knew his location. It was much easier to keep track of him that way.</p><p></p><p>Eventually, the invisible Rale positioned himself directly behind a now-blind Beezil and stabbed at the fly-devil for all he was worth. Despite his origins on the Nine Rings of Hell, the devil had the body of a human, and Rale knew exactly where to strike a human from behind for maximum impact. Rale's blade slid into Beezil's torso from behind and thrust out of his chest in a spray of diabolic blood. Beezil's body was thrust forward, off his feet, and he fell to the floor of the stage, dead beyond question.</p><p></p><p>Telgrane immediately noticed the devil's body did not disappear upon death as it would have had Beezil been summoned to the Material Plane - and neither did the body of the second erinyes, at Delphyne cut it down with a spell - and breathed a sigh of relief. That meant Beezil and the erinyes had stepped through a <em>gate</em>, and slaying them here meant slaying them forever. The bearded devils, on the other hand, had been summoned here, and Galrich and Thuderwolf sent them exploding into oblivion with each slaying.</p><p></p><p>Finally, the devils had all been taken care of, and the heroes were once again the only living beings remaining in the Greyhwak Theater. Galrich and Thunderwolf gathered up the erinyes' bows and quivers, while Rale did a quick pat-down of Beezil's body and recovered a flask of liquid which would later prove to be a vial of <em>stone salve</em> - the means by which he would have reverted Dez to flesh and bone to become his unwilling bride.</p><p></p><p>Delphyne walked up to Dez's petrified remains, bent down, and picked up the severed hand which had fallen to the carpeted floor. Part of her not believing she'd be using up a spell to benefit "that whore," the witch nevertheless felt a twinge of sadness on her behalf, after finding out Dez's drunken father had held her well-being in such low regard he'd been willing to cast her into Hell just to reach his own drunken desires. <em>At least both of my parents loved me while they still lived,</em> thought the young witch sadly. Then, holding the severed hand back into place, Delphyne cast a <em>break enchantment</em> spell upon the wizard, reverting to her human form. Dez, confused about what had happened since being struck by the diabolic retriever's ray, rubbed her wrist, looked around, and asked, "Wh-- what happened?"</p><p></p><p>"I'll tell you later," replied Rale, taking her arm and leading her to the theater's exit. "For now, let's just head on home."</p><p></p><p>But in the back of his mind he was thinking, <em>With Beezil dead, I guess I won't have to marry Dez myself to save her from the literal Marriage from Hell. Boy, </em>that<em> was a close one!</em></p><p></p><p>Pleased with his good fortune, Rale smiled all the way back to Guild Headquarters.</p><p></p><p>- - -</p><p></p><p>And that was that. This was an unusual adventure for me for several reasons. First of all, rather than build a theater geomorph like I'd normally do, I just picked up Paizo's "Theater" flip-mat from their GameMastery line. It doesn't like to unfold very flat on a table top, but nothing a few cans of Mello Yello (inevitably the beverage of choice at our respective gaming tables) on the corners couldn't fix.</p><p></p><p>Next up, I wanted to use a retriever but didn't have a suitable retriever mini, nor had I heard of one. I did, however, have two rather large plastic spiders I picked up for a dollar each at Target several years ago, so I set out to build a "costume" for one of them. Using two shades of gray art paper, I built leg segments of the appropriate size to slip over each of the spider's own plastic legs, and made the segments of alternating colors. The retriever's body was much more difficult to build, as there was very little room between the legs and body and measuring was difficult. In the end, I just had to best-guess some of the shapes, and eventually just started plunking down strips of the art paper in overlapping chunks and gluing them down. The end result looked like a retriever some demon had built out of scraps in his garage, but it did the job. Of course, it was much larger than a retriever normally is, so I simply advanced the creature from its standard stats. (I made the leg-blades retractable because they'd look funny and off-center if I tried gluing them into place on my plastic spider's legs. In hindsight, it might have been easier to just build my retriever from scratch rather than fit it over a plastic spider. Live and learn.)</p><p></p><p>And then that brought about the biggest changes. I had wanted to deal with devils instead of demons (the PCs had fought demons on numerous occasions, but I'd never written a devil-specific adventure before), but I also had in mind Dez being hunted by a retriever. Well, I reasoned just because D&D lore describes retrievers as being built exclusively by demons, there was no reason why a bright devil couldn't build his own retriever - and it gave me the opportunity to "upgrade" some of the standard retriever's abilities, like giving it a telekinetic eye ray and a <em>dimension door</em> spell-like ability (which seems like it would be useful to even the standard demonic retriever).</p><p></p><p>Now all I needed was a devil wishing to purchase mortal souls and I'd be all set. It's always seemed odd to me that the standard D&D devil array doesn't really say much about the purchase of souls; all of the devils are described as far as what role they play in the Blood War, and that's about it. I couldn't see an ice devil, or a bearded devil, or even a pit fiend trying to buy a mortal's soul by trickery. So I cast my net wider, and checked out Pathfinder's Bestiary books. Lo and behold, <em>Bestiary 3</em> had the contract devil, which seemed to be suited to my needs. However, I was a bit disappointed with the contract devil, not only by the artwork (with its ridiculously oversized horns), but by the fact that it fought opponents in combat wielding its numerous contracts as weapons. (This brought about the image, in my mind, of a fearsome devil trying to kill a mortal foe with...paper cuts.) Um, no. Fortunately, that very same book also had the coloxus, a fly-headed demon, which much better fit the image I had in my mind of Beezil. So, wielding the omnipotent power of DM fiat, I decided that my campaign world included coloxus devils, whose job it was to collect mortal souls, and that there was no such thing as a coloxus demon. (Nor, for that matter, are there massive-horned contract devils who paper cut their victims to death.)</p><p></p><p>And with that, I had my soul-purchasing devil, I had my justification for a diabolic retriever (and one so much bigger than the standard demonic model), I had my Dez backstory, and I was all set to go. I built Beezil a mansion in Dis in case the PCs ended up having to track down Dez after she'd been abducted, but that never came to pass. (Pity, too, or else the PCs would have gotten additional encounters with a hellfire golem, another pair of erinyes, and a pair of bone devils with their trained hellcat come to investigate the break-in by a group of mortals into the personal dwelling of a denizen of Hell.) That's a set of paper geomorphs I may never use, but I feel it's always better to have something and not use it than the other way around.</p><p></p><p>Oh, and I came up with a cool idea for an in-game prop. When Logan and I brought our gaming gear into Dan and Vicki's house, I left the spice cake I had asked my wife Mary to bake for us the night before in the back of my van. Then, at the appropriate time, I asked Dan to help me with a prop I had left in the van, and had him bring a lighter. I brought the cake into the house, stuck a candle into it, Dan lit it, and then I went back to the kitchen (where we play at their kitchen table) and read the boxed text I had prepared to the players. Dan entered, as Rale, bearing a spice cake that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEZ" along the top and "BREAK A LEG!" along the bottom. That was a pretty big hit! (My wife makes excellent cakes - the only way I could get away with having her make a cake and then take it away from our house was if I promised to bring back a piece for my nephew Harry, who lives with us. We ended up eating half the cake at Dan and Vicki's and then splitting the leftovers after the game session was over. Harry was suitably appeased by this course of action.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Richards, post: 6417776, member: 508"] [B]ADVENTURE 87: DESDEMONA HONEYTONGUE CAN GO TO HELL[/B] PC Roster: [INDENT]Chalkan, half-elf ranger/cleric of Corellon Larethian/sorcerer/arcane archer[/INDENT] [INDENT] Delphyne Babelberi, human witch (wizard)[/INDENT] [INDENT] Rale Bodkin, human rogue[/INDENT] [INDENT] Telgrane, half-fire elemental human conjurer/archmage[/INDENT] [INDENT] Thunderwolf, human fighter[/INDENT] NPC Roster: [INDENT]Desdemona Honeytongue, human wizard[/INDENT] Binked In: [INDENT]Galrich Slayer, half-orc barbarian[/INDENT] It was a frantic day behind the scenes of the Greyhawk Theater. Dez had been running around in a frenzy, trying to get all of the last-minute details hammered into shape for the opening of her first play on stage at this prestigious location. This was, at long last, her shot at establishing a good name for herself among the upper classes and she desperately wanted to make a good showing. Rale and the rest of the acting troupe had been scrambling with her to get everything done. Finally, though, a break appeared in all the hubbub and bustle. Dez looked around for Rale, suddenly realizing that he'd been missing for awhile. Then, unexpectedly, he entered the backstage area with a cake topped with burning candles. Flanking him were a handful of the Wing Three Adventurers Guild members. "Happy birthday!" everyone cheered. Dez dutifully made a wish and blew out the candles before turning to Rale and saying, "But my birthday isn't until tomorrow!" "Well, it wouldn't be a surprise tomorrow, would it?" he grinned. "Plus, it's a dual-purpose cake: 'happy birthday' and 'break a leg.'" A crooked smile appeared on Dez's face, partly due to her appreciation that Rale had remembered her birthday - her big one, too, her 21st! - and partly at the realization that he had found a way to save himself some coin by merging two cake occasions into one. Regardless, the cake was quite delicious and served as a well-needed interruption in the hecticness of the day thus far. But tonight's opening was only hours away, and the acting troupe soon found themselves back at the grind of last-minute changes and improvements. - - - That evening, Rale and Dez were backstage behind the curtain, ready for the play to begin. It was a dramatic retelling of one of their recent adventures - the fight between a heroic band of rugged heroes and the green dragon Antharvalos in his forest lair - although it had been embellished just a bit: for one thing, the roles of the dashing male rogue and his spunky female sorcerous cohort had been elevated almost beyond recognition, whereas the frumpy-looking elven druidess, "Deron Fru," spent most of her time mooning over Rale, and the trio of dwarven, half-orc, and human warriors seemed almost embarrassingly timid, only daring to stride into combat after Rale led the way. But Rale had no doubt it would be a hit; after all, the nobility loved stories of heroic adventurers - it was a life they often envied, but a path they generally dared not tread themselves. And with Dez's illusion spells at the ready, the "dragon" they would fight was sure to be a hit. Out in the entryway of the theater, a handful of Wing Three adventurers prepared to enter and take their seats. "Are you sure you don't want to sit up in one of the balconies?" asked Delphyne. "Telgrane and I will be up there, and you can see the stage much better from that level." "No way!" groused Chalkan, still upset that he'd been told he wouldn't be allowed to bring his bow with him to the theater. "Thunderwolf and I will be in the back row, closest to the exit doors, so we can get out of here as soon as this thing's over." At his side, the young human fighter nodded his agreement. He, too, felt naked without his weapons and armor. "Well, then, have a good time," said Telgrane, turning to head up the stairs to his balcony seat. "Wait!" called Delphyne, putting a hand on the archmage's shoulder. "How about casting a [I]Rary's telepathic bond[/I] spell on us first?" Telgrane tilted his head in puzzlement. "Are you expecting we'll be called away to combat?" he asked. The flames from his eyes briefly flared in emotion - and after he'd been concentrating on dampening down the effect so as not to alert the theater-goers. "Well, no," admitted the young witch. "I just thought we could use it as, you know, a heckling conduit. We can make all the comments we want about this horror of a play without disturbing anyone else." Delphyne had heard snippets of what to expect from Rale and Dez rehearsing and was prepared not to be amused. Her views on "that whore" were well known among the members of Wing Three, and she was glad there would not be a "Belphyne Dabbleberry" character appearing on stage. "Yes!" exclaimed Chalkan, his expectations for a pleasant evening rising significantly at the very thought. "Do it!" encouraged Thunderwolf. He had no bad feelings towards Dez, but silent heckling [I]did[/I] sound like an awful lot of fun. "Very well," replied Telgrane, popping open his tinderbox so he could add Infernia to the mental link. She had promised to remain in her cinder form during the play, for while she had been practicing not setting things ablaze she hadn't entirely mastered the art just yet. Plus, a nine-foot-tall fire elemental was sure to be somewhat of a distraction to the others in the audience. "Let's go," said Delphyne after the spell was in place, leading Telgrane up the stairs to their two-person balcony on the right side of the theater, while Thunderwolf and Chalkan cracked silent jokes over the [I]telepathic bond[/I] on either side of the main exit doors. Once everyone had taken their seats, the lights - [I]everburning torches[/I] with some sort of variable illumination control, Telgrane noted from above - dimmed, a hush came over the audience, and the velvet curtains opened for the first scene. "...And the torment begins," said Delphyne over the mental link. - - - Dez was enjoying herself immensely on stage. The play seemed to be very well received thus far, with laughter at the appropriate times - Rale had discovered during the writing stage that rewriting the dialogue of a historical event allowed one to come up with the exact best thing to say in any given situation, and his character came across as very smooth-tongued and quick-witted indeed as a result - and a palpable sense of excitement as the stage players neared the dragon's lair. Right now, she and Rale were the only two on stage, giving an impassioned speech about the importance of being an example for those lesser heroes who needed a role model to follow. Positioned as they were facing the audience, they had a perfect view of the large circle irising open against the back wall of the theater, reddish light spilling from it and capturing in silhouette the metallic figure that scuttled out of it. It was a spider, but one made entirely of metal. The thing scurried out of the vertical circle and down the central aisle of the theater, heedless as its eight mechanical legs trampled over audience members in the first three seats on either side of the central aisle as it did so. In an instant, chaos erupted everywhere in the Greyhawk Theater. As the spider-thing's body passed over them, Thunderwolf and Chalkan sprang to their feet, each instinctively grabbing for a weapon that wasn't there. The screams of those around them caused a panic even among those who had not yet even seen the spider's silent entrance. But each mechanical leg's stride either knocked a theater-goer out of his seat or impaled him on its pointed end. Telgrane called out a single word over the [I]telepathic bond[/I]: "Retriever!" It was larger than he had come to believe these creatures generally were, but then, as a construct, a retriever could be built to just about any size, he supposed. Chalkan got in the first strike; he'd been disallowed to bring any weapons with him larger than a dagger, but there had been no prohibition against wands. He spoke the command word and three streaks of [I]magic missiles[/I] buried themselves into the spider's metallic hide. From the balcony, Telgrane could see the panicked crowd scrambling out of their seats and trying to all fit along the outer walls of the theater. He cast a modified [I]polar ray[/I] down at the spider-construct. Using his archmage training, he converted the cold energy to sonic energy on the understanding that fewer creatures were immune to sonic damage than cold damage. The spell hit the retriever, but it was difficult for the archmage to see if he had actually done any damage to it - after all, against a metal automaton, any sonic damage was likely to be internal. He just hoped it hadn't bounced ineffectually against the creature's spell resistance. Telgrane hated it when that happened. Up on stage, Dez froze in sudden panic. [I]This isn't part of the play![/I] her mind insisted on pointing out needlessly. She probably would have stood there motionless until the spider reached her, had Rale not scooped her up in his arms and pulled her behind the back curtain. As he did so, he called out a quick command to Delphyne at the top of his lungs, "SHUT DOWN THAT GATE!" The witch looked at the glowing, reddish circle against the back wall. It blocked the only visible exit in the actual theater part of the building, although she knew from experience earlier that afternoon there were two exterior doors in the back, one in the prop room and one in the storage room. However, her current collection of prepared spells held nothing with which she might close the circular [I]gate[/I]. The panicked crowd fled from underneath the mechanical spider as it headed toward the stage, but they were unsure where safety lay after that. None seemed eager to go through the vertical red circle. But that was because none of them were adventurers. At Delphyne's urging over the [I]telepathic bond[/I], Thunderwolf stuck his head through the circle for a quick peek and then pulled it right back out again. What he had seen was quite puzzling to the young fighter. One the other side of the circle stood a completely different city from the Greyhawk City Thunderwolf had grown up in. This one was built mostly of iron, with iron buildings rising up to great, jagged heights from streets also made of iron. The iron was blackened, standing out in contrast from the reddish sky. Heat blasted Thunderwolf's face from his brief peek through the [I]gate[/I]. He quickly described what he'd seen over the shared link. "Hellish," commented Delphyne. "Sounds like Dis," agreed Telgrane. "But that would mean this thing's devil-built. I thought retrievers were a demonic construction." He shrugged and returned his attention to the battle at hand. Seeing its intended prey disappear, the diabolic retriever had fired a beam of red energy at the back curtain of the stage, setting it instantly ablaze. It scuttled the rest of the distance to the stage, its front legs getting a firm grip upon the slightly higher elevation of the wooden stage with their retractable blades. "Any idea why this thing might be after us?" asked Rale from behind the now-burning curtain. "No idea!" replied Dez, then grabbed Rale tight and cast a spell. The two [I]dimension door[/I]ed across the length of the theater, appearing amid the crowd at the front doors, for the circular gate had just winked out as suddenly as it had appeared and there was now a mad rush by the audience to escape this ill-fated building. However, the retriever was not fooled for an instant. It started immediately to turn around - but was grabbed by an enormous hand made of solid force that had suddenly appeared in front of it. "Got it!" called Delphyne from up on the balcony, having just cast the [I]Bigby's crushing hand[/I] spell that grappled the spider-construct. The look of pride on her face shattered a moment later, when the spider-construct popped out of view and her magical [I]hand[/I] closed into a fist, there suddenly being nothing for it to grab onto. Screams from the exit told everyone where the diabolic retriever had gone. Dez, about to make it out through the door to the relative safety of the street outside, suddenly saw the monstrous arachnid form materialize directly in front of her, its mechanical mouth-parts open wide to embrace her. She screamed in momentary panic, felt Rale grab her back from its clutches, and verbalized the words to another [I]dimension door[/I] spell that returned the two back to the stage. "Why's it after us?" Rale repeated. "I DON'T KNOW!" screamed Dez, flustered beyond belief but honestly having no idea why she should suddenly have a giant spider monster trying to eat her. It was also sinking in that her hopes of stardom among the upper classes were apparently doomed to failure. There were bodies littered along the rows by the central aisle and a mob of flailing bodies at the exit as those in the theater tried to leave and those at the exit, whose path to freedom had suddenly been cut off by the appearance of the diabolic retriever just outside, tried desperately to get back inside. Being crushed among the panicking bodies were Thunderwolf and Chalkan, each now desperately wishing they had found a convenient excuse not to attend this opening night fiasco. Through the open doorways, the spider-thing could see Dez and Rale back on the brightly-lit stage - although it didn't actually need to rely upon sight to know the exact location of its intended prey. It activated its inherent ability to [I]dimension door[/I] and reappeared over by the stage once again. Rale quickly grabbed Dez again and pulled her into an adjacent side room, where props for other productions were kept. There were no lights on in this room, and they stumbled in the dark to find the exit. But in a matter of seconds, the diabolic retriever had [I]dimension door[/I]ed into the room with them, its vast bulk filling the storeroom from wall to wall. Dez and Rale were directly underneath its body. It opened its mouth-parts again.... ...and Dez grabbed Rale by the shoulder and suddenly they were one balcony down from Telgrane and Delphyne. "You didn't even say anything this time," commented Rale. "I had one [I]silent dimension door[/I] prepared," explained Dez. "But that was my last one. Hopefully, we'll be safe up here. It'll have to climb the wall to get to us - maybe that'll buy us some time." A sudden thought struck the young actress. "Your Guild ring!" she exclaimed. "You can use it to escape back to HQ!" In truth, the thought had already occurred to the rogue, but he'd reluctantly ignored the impulse in order to see to his cohort's safety. He was saved from having to give a response, though, as the diabolic retriever used the massive blades on its front four legs to shred its way through the wall of storage room. Another of its eyes flashed and a beam of energy struck out through the space between it and the balcony across the theater, striking Dez unerringly. Dez barely had time to lift an arm as if to block off the attack. Her scream was cut off as her entire body instantly petrified into solid stone. But Chalkan missed that part of the battle, for he was sprinting up the stairs to the balcony he had seen Rale and Dez suddenly appear in. He figured he'd get a better shot at fighting the spider-thing close up if he was where it would likely appear next. He was still only armed with a handful of wands and a dagger, but he was contemplating trying to smash some of its eyes. Meanwhile, at the exit, an unarmed Thunderwolf had decided his best course of action now was to ensure the safety of the theater-goers, and he ushered them through the doors, helping to pull those who were being pushed from behind back up onto their feet. Up above, Delphyne leapt from the balcony, not wanting to stick around in case the spider headed over her way. A [I]feather fall[/I] spell ensured she landed without harm from the 20-foot drop. She then redirected her [I]Bigby's crushing hand[/I] spell over to grapple with the spider-thing once again. It gripped the construct by the head, but there was sufficient room for one of its eyes to focus on Dez's petrified form, and yet another beam struck out. This one remained more than a brief instant, bridging the gap between the Dez-statue and the spider-thing's eye and remaining in place, lifting Dez into the air and pulling her closer to the construct. Apparently it had been sent to retrieve Dez but wasn't particularly concerned by what kind of shape she was in when retrieved. Telgrane cast more attack spells at the thing, converting over to sonic energy, but Delphyne called out a warning. "If we kill that thing while Dez is still in the air...." She didn't finish the thought, instead beginning the words to a [I]Bigby's forceful hand[/I] spell, pushing Dez away from her, but also "landing" her safely on the theater floor as she did so. The green beam of telekinetic energy never broke its grip on Dez. But the construct never did get to complete its mission, and Dez didn't make it any closer to the spider-thing. Another few spells from Telgrane and the beam shut off, the light died from the gems it had in place of eyes, and its mechanical legs relaxed as its heavy body crashed to the ground. A bright red glow exploded from it in a circle, and then the entire circle of light vanished, taking the arachnid automaton with it. "Is everybody okay?" asked Rale. He had used his [I]winged boots[/I] to fly down from the balcony to where Dez's stone body had landed. Chalkan had made it up to the balcony Rale had just left, and gave a thumbs up signal to the rogue down below. Thunderwolf replied from the theater's front entrance, where he was just now guiding the last of the surviving audience members to safety. Now that the diabolic retriever had been dealt with, Telgrane looked over to the stage and noticed the flames had burned down the back curtain and were doing a good job of engulfing the back of the stage and the room behind it. He summoned a group of water elementals to deal with the flames, and then dismissed them once the task had been finished. "Anybody have any means of returning Dez back to flesh?" asked Rale, looking over at Telgrane and Delphyne. They both thought about it, as did Chalkan, a bit miffed that once again he had been overlooked as an arcane spellcaster. Delphyne had a [I]break enchantment[/I] spell prepared, which in theory could reverse the transformation, although the witch had never used it in that fashion before. Telgrane had recently learned the [I]wish spell[/I], but was unsure if they needed to use such a powerful spell now when a lesser spell could easily be used later. "Anybody have any ideas what this was all about?" asked Rale, looking at the petrified form of his cohort and not waiting for an answer to his first question. "I believe I can exzzzzplain," said a voice from the stage. Looking up at the stage, the heroes saw a trio of unusual figures, another red circle vanishing behind them. Flanked by two beautiful women, their angelic features only accentuated by the pair of white-feathered wings rising up from their shoulders, stood an elegantly-dressed figure, everything about him indicating a nobleman of the very highest class – except for his enormous fly's head. He held a hand up as if to indicate a truce, and his beautiful bodyguards, each holding a [I]flaming longbow[/I] with an arrow nocked at the ready, had their weapons pointed at the floor of the stage rather than at any of the adventurers. "I am [B]Beezil[/B]," the fly-man announced by way of introduction. "You have dezzztroyed my my diabolic retriever, but I am willing to overlook that if you will allow me to take my property and leave you in peazzzze." "And just what property are you talking about?" demanded Rale, certain he already knew the answer. "Why, my bride-to-be," explained Beezil, indicating the statue of Dez, who still held her arm up as if to shield off an attack. "Perhapzzz I zzzhould explain." Rale's posture indicated he was willing to listen to the newcomer, and the other adventurers followed suit, although the "hecklers" were in frantic conversation over the [I]telepathic bond[/I]. "Are those angels?" Thunderwolf asked. "That doesn't make any sense." He wandered up the aisle to stand just behind Rale. "Probably succubi," reasoned Delphyne. "Succubi are demons," corrected Telgrane. "And they have bat wings. These must be some kind of diabolic equivalent." "What kind of a devil is that Fly Guy?" Chalkan wanted to know. "No idea," admitted Telgrane. "But if he's a devil, he's probably immune to fire." Telgrane - and especially his fire elemental familiar, Infernia - hated enemies who were immune to fire. In the meantime, though, Beezil began his story. "One night, zzzome eight yearzzz ago, Dezzzdemona'zzz father, Jank Zzztreetzzzweeper, drunkenly bemoaned hizzz fate to the heavenzzz above and wizzzhed he were a rich man inzzztead of zzztruggling to get by in the Zzztyezzz." Over the [I]telepathic bond[/I], Chalkan repeated, "'[B]Jank Streetsweeper[/B]'? And Dez grew up in the Styes?" This was all news to the arcane archer; Dez had never gone into much detail about her early life. "I heard hizzz drunken appealzzz to Fate, and appeared before him. I offered him untold richezzz in exzzzchange for his immortal zzzoul. But drunk azzz he wazzz, he wazzzn't quite [I]that[/I] drunk. "Zzzo I azzzked him what elzzze he would be willing to zzzell me inzzztead of his zzzoul. And he zzzuggezzzted the hand of hizzz daughter in marriage. "I wazzz flabbergazzzted. But I azzzked how much he wanted for hizzz daughter." There was no way for Beezil's fly-head to express a smile, but the heroes could certainly hear it in his buzzing voice. "At firzzzt, Jank zzzuggezzzted 100 gold piezzzezzz. I inzzztantly agreed, but he zzzaw my eagernezzz and upped the cozzzt to 1,000 piezzzezzz of gold. I agreed to thizzz azzz well, but then he dezzzided he wazzz crafty enough to outzzzmart a devil, and upped the cozzzt to 'azzz much money azzz it takezzz to provide me with all of the boozzze I want for the rezzzt of my life.' And he had zzzome conditionzzz. Apparently, he wazzz okay with marrying hizzz only daughter off to a devil, but inzzzizzzted that I wait until zzzhe turned 21. I zzzuppozzze he figured zzzhe'd likely be married by then, and then there would be no harm by hizzz actionzzz. "I pretended to think it over, and then reluctantly agreed. I produzzzed a contract for Jank to zzzign, with the termzzz exzzzactly azzz the drunkard had zzztated them. Jank zzzigned on the line...and then I killed him, immediately fulfilling my part of the bargain." The fly-headed devil pulled a rolled-up scroll from inside his vest pocket and held it out for Rale to see. "You may inzzzpect the document, if you wizzzh. You will find everything izzz in order." "Maybe so, but you're a day early," replied Rale defiantly. "Dez doesn't turn 21 until tomorrow." Beezil jumped as if stung. "Impozzzible. I zzzcried upon her, and zzzaw your birthday zzzelebrationzzz." "One day early," replied Rale, feeling confident that he had the upper hand. They still had a day to deal with this, and if he could shoo this fly-devil away, he could get Cal to marry him to Dez tonight, thus preventing her from having to go through with this arranged marriage to a denizen of Hell. Beezil's body buzzed in a sudden flurry of motion, his hands moving faster than could be seen. "Repeat that zzztatement," he ordered. Up on the balcony, Telgrane's magic-enhanced eyesight recognized the aura of a [I]zone of truth[/I] spell the fly-devil had just cast on the area. Rale cleared his throat dramatically and repeated, "Desdemona Honeytongue does not turn 21 until tomorrow." Beezil flinched as if struck, and hastily rolled his contract back up, returning it to his inner vest pocket. "No matter," he replied. "I will take control of my merchandizzze now, and delay my gratificazzzhion until tomorrow." The unseen smile was back in his voice. "I don't think so," replied Rale. He was wearing his full adventuring gear as part of his stage portrayal of Rale the Heroic Archetype, and pulled the hammer he used to pound pitons into place from his belt. Gripping it in his right hand, he took Dez's upheld left hand in his own and brought the hammer down in a powerful blow. Dez's left hand broke off at the wrist. "Your contract gives you Dez's hand in marriage," Rale said, holding out the petrified hunk of stone. "Take it and go." Beezil had but one reply to this effrontery. "Dezzztroy them all," he said to his bodyguards. Instantly, the erinyes devils pulled up their [I]flaming longbows[/I] and fired off shots, one targeting Telgrane (whose flaming eye sockets identified him as a potential source of powerful trouble), the other at Rale, apparently the leader of this group of mortals. But Rale activated one of the powers of his [I]rod of thievery[/I], turning himself instantly invisible while rising up into the air, courtesy of his [I]boots of flying[/I]. The arrows whizzed by him without striking home. Telgrane had been thinking furiously during Beezil's story, and commanded over the shared link, "Chalkan! We need Cal's [I]gem of soul trapping[/I]! Bink back and have Galrich bring the gem if Cal's in the area!" The archmage was concerned that simply killing Beezil would allow his essence to remanifest in Dis, to trouble them again. He was hoping that if Cal's gem could contain the devil's essence for at least a day, they could break the contract Dez's father had signed before his death. In the meantime, he sent a [I]sonic meteor swarm[/I] directly between Beezil's multifaceted eyes, catching both erinyes in the areas of effect as well. "Got it!" Chalkan replied before binking out. In the meantime, Beezil cast a [I]mind fog[/I] up at the balconies, catching not only Telgrane but a confused Galrich, who had just binked back into Chalkan's place, directly into the area of effect. "Cal's not at HQ!" he roared, quickly trying to get his bearings. [I]Theater, angels, fly guy, got it.[/I] The half-orc succumbed to the spell's effects, but Telgrane managed to brush it off, as did Delphyne once the fog billowed down to encompass her location on the theater floor directly below the balconies. One of the erinyes called forth and summoned additional allies. In a wink, four bearded devils appeared on stage, standing in an arc between Beezil and the heroes. Glaives gleaming, they grinned at the anticipation of the upcoming slaughter. But so did Galrich. Raging, he leaped down from the balcony, landing on the back of a seat and running down the row until he hit the central aisle, where he charged the devils. Beezil tried using a [I]suggestion[/I] that the half-orc barbarian might enjoy skewering his friends instead of him, but Galrich allowed his [I]ioun stone[/I] to absorb the spell in its entirety. On his way, he tossed his own [I]flaming longbow[/I] and a quiver of arrows at an appreciative Thunderwolf, who was delighted to be armed once again. The fighter put his expertise to immediate use, sending an arrow through the neck of one of the erinyes devils, slaying her outright. Galrich waded into battle against the bearded devils, whose own battle-lust paled against that of the half-orc. He knew back at HQ, Aerik was undoubtedly throwing a fit, knowing the liege he had sworn to protect from all harm had once again ditched him to leap into battle. But Galrich didn't care; he was more focused on slaying the devils before him. And slay them he did, although the prospect was made much easier by a spell or two from Telgrane and Delphyne, who managed to blind not only Beezil but also half of the bearded devils. Telgrane even allowed Infernia out of the tinder box, figuring she couldn't do too much more harm to the theater, which was already seriously burned in the back and had had several walls destroyed by the diabolic retriever. She manifested into her full form, Telgrane jumped upon her shoulders, and she leapt down to the floor below. Telgrane's last few spells in the battle were cast from this precarious position, but Infernia was more than happy to have her master perched up where she always knew his location. It was much easier to keep track of him that way. Eventually, the invisible Rale positioned himself directly behind a now-blind Beezil and stabbed at the fly-devil for all he was worth. Despite his origins on the Nine Rings of Hell, the devil had the body of a human, and Rale knew exactly where to strike a human from behind for maximum impact. Rale's blade slid into Beezil's torso from behind and thrust out of his chest in a spray of diabolic blood. Beezil's body was thrust forward, off his feet, and he fell to the floor of the stage, dead beyond question. Telgrane immediately noticed the devil's body did not disappear upon death as it would have had Beezil been summoned to the Material Plane - and neither did the body of the second erinyes, at Delphyne cut it down with a spell - and breathed a sigh of relief. That meant Beezil and the erinyes had stepped through a [I]gate[/I], and slaying them here meant slaying them forever. The bearded devils, on the other hand, had been summoned here, and Galrich and Thuderwolf sent them exploding into oblivion with each slaying. Finally, the devils had all been taken care of, and the heroes were once again the only living beings remaining in the Greyhwak Theater. Galrich and Thunderwolf gathered up the erinyes' bows and quivers, while Rale did a quick pat-down of Beezil's body and recovered a flask of liquid which would later prove to be a vial of [I]stone salve[/I] - the means by which he would have reverted Dez to flesh and bone to become his unwilling bride. Delphyne walked up to Dez's petrified remains, bent down, and picked up the severed hand which had fallen to the carpeted floor. Part of her not believing she'd be using up a spell to benefit "that whore," the witch nevertheless felt a twinge of sadness on her behalf, after finding out Dez's drunken father had held her well-being in such low regard he'd been willing to cast her into Hell just to reach his own drunken desires. [I]At least both of my parents loved me while they still lived,[/I] thought the young witch sadly. Then, holding the severed hand back into place, Delphyne cast a [I]break enchantment[/I] spell upon the wizard, reverting to her human form. Dez, confused about what had happened since being struck by the diabolic retriever's ray, rubbed her wrist, looked around, and asked, "Wh-- what happened?" "I'll tell you later," replied Rale, taking her arm and leading her to the theater's exit. "For now, let's just head on home." But in the back of his mind he was thinking, [I]With Beezil dead, I guess I won't have to marry Dez myself to save her from the literal Marriage from Hell. Boy, [/I]that[I] was a close one![/I] Pleased with his good fortune, Rale smiled all the way back to Guild Headquarters. - - - And that was that. This was an unusual adventure for me for several reasons. First of all, rather than build a theater geomorph like I'd normally do, I just picked up Paizo's "Theater" flip-mat from their GameMastery line. It doesn't like to unfold very flat on a table top, but nothing a few cans of Mello Yello (inevitably the beverage of choice at our respective gaming tables) on the corners couldn't fix. Next up, I wanted to use a retriever but didn't have a suitable retriever mini, nor had I heard of one. I did, however, have two rather large plastic spiders I picked up for a dollar each at Target several years ago, so I set out to build a "costume" for one of them. Using two shades of gray art paper, I built leg segments of the appropriate size to slip over each of the spider's own plastic legs, and made the segments of alternating colors. The retriever's body was much more difficult to build, as there was very little room between the legs and body and measuring was difficult. In the end, I just had to best-guess some of the shapes, and eventually just started plunking down strips of the art paper in overlapping chunks and gluing them down. The end result looked like a retriever some demon had built out of scraps in his garage, but it did the job. Of course, it was much larger than a retriever normally is, so I simply advanced the creature from its standard stats. (I made the leg-blades retractable because they'd look funny and off-center if I tried gluing them into place on my plastic spider's legs. In hindsight, it might have been easier to just build my retriever from scratch rather than fit it over a plastic spider. Live and learn.) And then that brought about the biggest changes. I had wanted to deal with devils instead of demons (the PCs had fought demons on numerous occasions, but I'd never written a devil-specific adventure before), but I also had in mind Dez being hunted by a retriever. Well, I reasoned just because D&D lore describes retrievers as being built exclusively by demons, there was no reason why a bright devil couldn't build his own retriever - and it gave me the opportunity to "upgrade" some of the standard retriever's abilities, like giving it a telekinetic eye ray and a [I]dimension door[/I] spell-like ability (which seems like it would be useful to even the standard demonic retriever). Now all I needed was a devil wishing to purchase mortal souls and I'd be all set. It's always seemed odd to me that the standard D&D devil array doesn't really say much about the purchase of souls; all of the devils are described as far as what role they play in the Blood War, and that's about it. I couldn't see an ice devil, or a bearded devil, or even a pit fiend trying to buy a mortal's soul by trickery. So I cast my net wider, and checked out Pathfinder's Bestiary books. Lo and behold, [I]Bestiary 3[/I] had the contract devil, which seemed to be suited to my needs. However, I was a bit disappointed with the contract devil, not only by the artwork (with its ridiculously oversized horns), but by the fact that it fought opponents in combat wielding its numerous contracts as weapons. (This brought about the image, in my mind, of a fearsome devil trying to kill a mortal foe with...paper cuts.) Um, no. Fortunately, that very same book also had the coloxus, a fly-headed demon, which much better fit the image I had in my mind of Beezil. So, wielding the omnipotent power of DM fiat, I decided that my campaign world included coloxus devils, whose job it was to collect mortal souls, and that there was no such thing as a coloxus demon. (Nor, for that matter, are there massive-horned contract devils who paper cut their victims to death.) And with that, I had my soul-purchasing devil, I had my justification for a diabolic retriever (and one so much bigger than the standard demonic model), I had my Dez backstory, and I was all set to go. I built Beezil a mansion in Dis in case the PCs ended up having to track down Dez after she'd been abducted, but that never came to pass. (Pity, too, or else the PCs would have gotten additional encounters with a hellfire golem, another pair of erinyes, and a pair of bone devils with their trained hellcat come to investigate the break-in by a group of mortals into the personal dwelling of a denizen of Hell.) That's a set of paper geomorphs I may never use, but I feel it's always better to have something and not use it than the other way around. Oh, and I came up with a cool idea for an in-game prop. When Logan and I brought our gaming gear into Dan and Vicki's house, I left the spice cake I had asked my wife Mary to bake for us the night before in the back of my van. Then, at the appropriate time, I asked Dan to help me with a prop I had left in the van, and had him bring a lighter. I brought the cake into the house, stuck a candle into it, Dan lit it, and then I went back to the kitchen (where we play at their kitchen table) and read the boxed text I had prepared to the players. Dan entered, as Rale, bearing a spice cake that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEZ" along the top and "BREAK A LEG!" along the bottom. That was a pretty big hit! (My wife makes excellent cakes - the only way I could get away with having her make a cake and then take it away from our house was if I promised to bring back a piece for my nephew Harry, who lives with us. We ended up eating half the cake at Dan and Vicki's and then splitting the leftovers after the game session was over. Harry was suitably appeased by this course of action.) [/QUOTE]
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