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Winter Ceramic DM™: THE WINNER!
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<blockquote data-quote="mythago" data-source="post: 1303012" data-attributes="member: 3019"><p><strong>First round judgment - Bibliophile vs. Piratecat</strong></p><p></p><p><span style="color: yellow">Maldur</span></p><p> Bibliophile</p><p> A modern mystery story, greek gods in norway, strange tales and death.</p><p> </p><p> Piratecat</p><p> A fairy tale, A real fairy tale, there is even damning choices and a lesson in there and such.</p><p> <strong>Judgment : Piratecat</strong></p><p> <strong></strong></p><p> <span style="color: yellow">arwink</span></p><p> Bibliophile - Mysteries</p><p> </p><p> Initially, allow me to swoon for a moment. The first piece I read for</p><p> Ceramic DM, and it gets to the task in 2nd person narration. While this</p><p> is considered a confronting choice in the literary world, I have a</p><p> personal fondness for being placed in a story like this, so I started</p><p> warming to Bibliophile's story right away. That it sets up a subtle tone</p><p> of mystery and hints at something greater to come only adds to my</p><p> excitement. Bibliophile's control of the stories tone and language, at</p><p> least initially, is a great attention grabber and shows a great mastery of</p><p> the slow build. </p><p> </p><p> Although the mastery of language remains solid throughout the story, the</p><p> mood of the story does become a little haphazard as events continue. </p><p> There's a lovely build up of tension initially, with the meeting between</p><p> the storyteller and the audience role we’re being forced into, but as the</p><p> blind storytellers tale continues the tension seems to evaporate. The</p><p> mysteries of the postcard seem to quickly passed over after setting up the</p><p> blind storytellers hunger for greatness, and the story takes liberties</p><p> with the audiences knowledge - assuming we're familiar with the myth of</p><p> Prometheus and understand the potential importance of the find. While</p><p> this may be a fairly safe assumption on a board full of gamers, it isn't</p><p> necessarily true of the outside world. The same happens on the climb</p><p> itself - with the danger and grandeur of the scenery washed over in favor</p><p> of getting to the summit as soon as possible. While I appreciate the</p><p> polar-bear metaphor, I can help but wish that this had been played out a</p><p> little longer in order to keep the tension and hunger for the stories</p><p> pay-off taut. It’s a risky balance that needs to be struck, especially</p><p> for a story this long that is destined for an electronic reading, but I do</p><p> think the length and detail may be necessary.</p><p> </p><p> Piratecat - A Fable of Ash</p><p> </p><p> Piratecat's story opens with a paragraph that contains only two short</p><p> sentences, but the amount of information he manages to pack into them is</p><p> admirable. We have an instant set-up of the locations, the characters,</p><p> and most importantly the conflict that goes on to drive the story, and</p><p> it’s all done with an elegant simplicity that hooks the reader in an</p><p> instant. It manages to trade on our knowledge of myth in order to build</p><p> meaning, but does so without automatically invalidating the story due to</p><p> the reader picking the mythic references and predicting the ending. </p><p> Bravo.</p><p> </p><p> The story builds wonderfully from there, taking us through a fair-tale</p><p> journey that is filled with both a child-like wonder and an adult sense of</p><p> mystery. Like it’s introduction the body of the story plays with the</p><p> elements of myth and fairytale, but does with an awareness and light touch</p><p> that leaves you feeling like you’ve uncovered a path you've walked long</p><p> ago in your childhood. Piratecat’s language is perfect for the genre he’s</p><p> chosen to work within, and he has several turns of phrase that are a joy</p><p> to read. </p><p> </p><p> Best of all, Piratecat returns us to the tradition of the melancholic</p><p> ending to the tale - giving as a story whose conclusion is satisfying</p><p> despite its undertone of sorrow. </p><p> </p><p> Arwink's Judgment</p><p> </p><p> It's never fun to pick between two stories when they're both of such a</p><p> high caliber, particularly when you'd love to see both contestants work in</p><p> future rounds of the competition. In the end, however, I give the round</p><p> to Piratecat for two reasons. The first is that there is no sense of</p><p> words being wasted in his piece - it's lean without feeling empty and it</p><p> has a control over its pace and mood that gives it a slight edge over the</p><p> lagging moments in Bibliophile's story. The second is in the use of the</p><p> pictures - while my focus as a judge has traditionally been on the quality</p><p> of the stories, I can't help but be impressed by the way Piratecat has</p><p> integrated such a diverse range of pictures into a cohesive fairytale</p><p> without giving us the feeling that he’s struggling to include them. </p><p> Bibliophile's use of pictures is inherently creative, but in many ways you</p><p> can see the necessity of including them driving the story forward. If</p><p> Piratecat hadn't tagged the pictures in his piece, the sole inclusion I</p><p> would have noticed was the padlock at the end - everything else blended</p><p> seamlessly into the tale.</p><p> <strong>Judgment : Piratecat</strong></p><p> <strong></strong></p><p> <strong></strong><span style="color: yellow">mythago</span></p><p> Why couldn't one of you have written a crummy story? WHY, OH WHY?! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p> Both genre pieces and both escaping the trap of being hoary and imitative. I believe that Piratecat did a slightly better job of this; it's a fairy tale, but you couldn't predict the end.</p><p> </p><p> Bibliophile almost got dinged for the "picture as a picture" thing, by using the photograph of the women as a postcard. Turning this into a strange artifact with mysterious writing offset it a little. I liked the overall balanced use of the pictures, and using the second-person narration as a bracket, with the main tale being a story within a story, worked nicely. Excellent use of mood.</p><p> </p><p> Piratecat's entry was a very interesting approach; I think it suffered a bit from the 'read aloud' meter, but of course fairy tales were oral long before they were written. The story also escapes from what could be predictability--the sisters reconcile, they are sadder but wiser. I thought the use of the pictures could have been a bit more balanced; the lock is almost an afterthought. And I was disappointed that a lot of elements got dropped. ("One of them is pregnant? Okay, what happened with that? Both the sisters had husbands, so shouldn't the other one...") Part of that is the length issue, but still.</p><p> <strong>Judgement: Bibliophile</strong></p><p> <strong></strong></p><p> <strong></strong>Piratecat claws his way to a 2-1 win! Congratulations, both of you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mythago, post: 1303012, member: 3019"] [b]First round judgment - Bibliophile vs. Piratecat[/b] [color=yellow]Maldur[/color] Bibliophile A modern mystery story, greek gods in norway, strange tales and death. Piratecat A fairy tale, A real fairy tale, there is even damning choices and a lesson in there and such. [b]Judgment : Piratecat [/b] [color=yellow]arwink[/color] Bibliophile - Mysteries Initially, allow me to swoon for a moment. The first piece I read for Ceramic DM, and it gets to the task in 2nd person narration. While this is considered a confronting choice in the literary world, I have a personal fondness for being placed in a story like this, so I started warming to Bibliophile's story right away. That it sets up a subtle tone of mystery and hints at something greater to come only adds to my excitement. Bibliophile's control of the stories tone and language, at least initially, is a great attention grabber and shows a great mastery of the slow build. Although the mastery of language remains solid throughout the story, the mood of the story does become a little haphazard as events continue. There's a lovely build up of tension initially, with the meeting between the storyteller and the audience role we’re being forced into, but as the blind storytellers tale continues the tension seems to evaporate. The mysteries of the postcard seem to quickly passed over after setting up the blind storytellers hunger for greatness, and the story takes liberties with the audiences knowledge - assuming we're familiar with the myth of Prometheus and understand the potential importance of the find. While this may be a fairly safe assumption on a board full of gamers, it isn't necessarily true of the outside world. The same happens on the climb itself - with the danger and grandeur of the scenery washed over in favor of getting to the summit as soon as possible. While I appreciate the polar-bear metaphor, I can help but wish that this had been played out a little longer in order to keep the tension and hunger for the stories pay-off taut. It’s a risky balance that needs to be struck, especially for a story this long that is destined for an electronic reading, but I do think the length and detail may be necessary. Piratecat - A Fable of Ash Piratecat's story opens with a paragraph that contains only two short sentences, but the amount of information he manages to pack into them is admirable. We have an instant set-up of the locations, the characters, and most importantly the conflict that goes on to drive the story, and it’s all done with an elegant simplicity that hooks the reader in an instant. It manages to trade on our knowledge of myth in order to build meaning, but does so without automatically invalidating the story due to the reader picking the mythic references and predicting the ending. Bravo. The story builds wonderfully from there, taking us through a fair-tale journey that is filled with both a child-like wonder and an adult sense of mystery. Like it’s introduction the body of the story plays with the elements of myth and fairytale, but does with an awareness and light touch that leaves you feeling like you’ve uncovered a path you've walked long ago in your childhood. Piratecat’s language is perfect for the genre he’s chosen to work within, and he has several turns of phrase that are a joy to read. Best of all, Piratecat returns us to the tradition of the melancholic ending to the tale - giving as a story whose conclusion is satisfying despite its undertone of sorrow. Arwink's Judgment It's never fun to pick between two stories when they're both of such a high caliber, particularly when you'd love to see both contestants work in future rounds of the competition. In the end, however, I give the round to Piratecat for two reasons. The first is that there is no sense of words being wasted in his piece - it's lean without feeling empty and it has a control over its pace and mood that gives it a slight edge over the lagging moments in Bibliophile's story. The second is in the use of the pictures - while my focus as a judge has traditionally been on the quality of the stories, I can't help but be impressed by the way Piratecat has integrated such a diverse range of pictures into a cohesive fairytale without giving us the feeling that he’s struggling to include them. Bibliophile's use of pictures is inherently creative, but in many ways you can see the necessity of including them driving the story forward. If Piratecat hadn't tagged the pictures in his piece, the sole inclusion I would have noticed was the padlock at the end - everything else blended seamlessly into the tale. [b]Judgment : Piratecat [/b][color=yellow]mythago[/color] Why couldn't one of you have written a crummy story? WHY, OH WHY?! :) Both genre pieces and both escaping the trap of being hoary and imitative. I believe that Piratecat did a slightly better job of this; it's a fairy tale, but you couldn't predict the end. Bibliophile almost got dinged for the "picture as a picture" thing, by using the photograph of the women as a postcard. Turning this into a strange artifact with mysterious writing offset it a little. I liked the overall balanced use of the pictures, and using the second-person narration as a bracket, with the main tale being a story within a story, worked nicely. Excellent use of mood. Piratecat's entry was a very interesting approach; I think it suffered a bit from the 'read aloud' meter, but of course fairy tales were oral long before they were written. The story also escapes from what could be predictability--the sisters reconcile, they are sadder but wiser. I thought the use of the pictures could have been a bit more balanced; the lock is almost an afterthought. And I was disappointed that a lot of elements got dropped. ("One of them is pregnant? Okay, what happened with that? Both the sisters had husbands, so shouldn't the other one...") Part of that is the length issue, but still. [b]Judgement: Bibliophile [/b]Piratecat claws his way to a 2-1 win! Congratulations, both of you! [/QUOTE]
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