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<blockquote data-quote="Mark Chance" data-source="post: 1959553" data-attributes="member: 2795"><p><strong>Plans Fail...Twice</strong></p><p></p><p>You meet the strangest people traveling through the wilds of the Pomarj. Case in point: We met an elf wizard named Dimas the Librarian (or something to that effect, as my elven is still not that good). Dimas’s very unlikely story is that he was deep in the Pomarj - alone, mind you - researching rare tree mosses. As I said: You meet the strangest people.</p><p></p><p>But I get ahead of my story. Two days after my brother Mupp left the group, with a mentally dominated orc (called “that orc” most of the time) and human fighter (named Frank) under Shadra’s control, we were attacked by a harpy. Or, more specifically, that orc was attacked and killed by a harpy. The monster seemed content to with that one kill. Apparently it was merely out hunting for dinner. Glyth scouted the area and reported that there were several harpy nests in the vicinity. We elected to leave these monsters alone. A wise choice, I note, given we no longer have a bard in our midst who could counter their charming song.</p><p></p><p>We continued following the carrier pigeons for a few more days. We then met the very strange Dimas. Two days after that meeting, we entered the swamp.</p><p></p><p>I intensely dislike swamps for several reasons. One: I am a gnome, and water that is a mere inconvenience for a human tends to rise to my chest, making it quite difficult to walk. Two: Swamps mean stinky muck sticking to my clothes and boots. Three: The insects and leeches are horrible. Nearly everything that lives in a swamp bites, often quite painfully, and most of these biters also suck blood. This particular swamp added number four to my list of reasons to intensely dislike swamps: Disgusting yellow oozes.</p><p></p><p>A disgusting yellow ooze burst from the murky water right in my path, nearly pulling me under entirely. Fortunately, I managed to lunge backward just enough to avoid its tentacle. Realizing that my gnomish rapier, no matter how well crafted, would likely be useless against a creature with the consistency of thick porridge, I retreated from the fight as quickly as possible. Zara proved my suspicions about rapiers were correct. Hers was completely ineffective. Moonpie’s longsword was not only ineffective, it also caused there to be two oozes where before there was only one. I yelled something to the effect of: “Use blunt weapons!”</p><p></p><p>My advice was ignored until there were six oozes instead of just the one. By this time, my companions had realized my advice was sound. Ebon used his quarterstaff to good effect. Zara and Moonbeam also carry maces. Zara’s is even magical. Have I mentioned that we found a magical mace? I forget. Shadra’s psionic energy also inflicted notable damage against the oozes. We destroyed the creatures with only minimal injuries.</p><p></p><p>Later this same day, we found the second temple of Nerull. Two guards, both human and appearing very bored, stood watch outside the temple, behind a stone wall about my height. The temple itself stands on a hillock rising out of the swamp. Glyth, Ebon, and I scouted the perimeter. The northern face of the second story was pierced by several half-door-sized openings. When we got back to the main party, we released one of the pigeons. Sure enough, it flew to the second story through one of those openings.</p><p></p><p>A strategy session followed. We had to get into the temple. There was only one door, which was behind the two guards. No windows on the first floor. No visible guards anywhere else. The door itself looked rather stout. Our archers - Glyth and Cord - expressed great confidence that they could instantly slay both guards at a range. I sensibly pointed out that if they missed their marks, the guards would have sufficient time to raise an alarm, which would then make it more difficult for us to enter the temple. I sensibly pointed out that stealth was a better option, and that we should at least get a few of the sneakier people, myself included, around to the southern side of the temple where we could more easily flank the guards and prevent them from reaching the door should the archers fail. Of course, my advice was ignored.</p><p></p><p>And so Glyth and Cord let fly their arrows. Cord nicked one guard and hit the wall. Glyth put a shaft into the other guard’s shoulder and hit the wall. Neither guard died instantly. Both guards screamed loud enough to wake the dead, which at a temple of Nerull is seldom ever just a figure of speech. The guards, after screaming, raced for the door. Of course, no one was in a flanking position to stop their retreat. The first guard yanked the door open before being killed by Dimas’s magic missiles. The second made it through the door just before being struck between the shoulder blades by a crossbow bolt, I believe fired by Ebon. The door slammed shut. Our foes were alerted.</p><p></p><p>Another strategy session followed. I again pointed out that stealth was our best option. Shadra opined that we should wait a few hours at least. Since temples of Nerull often house clerics of Nerull, who have an annoying tendency to cast defensive spells on themselves and their allies, Shadra reasoned that a noticeable delay would wear out the durations of any such magics. If the Nerullites abandoned the temple to hunt us, at least we would be fighting on open ground. A plan was formed. Ebon and I would sneak around to the rear of the temple and get as close as possible. This way, if the enemy did leave, we could catch them from behind. Also, there might have been a concealed exit, and our position to the rear would make such egress visible when used. The rest of the group would keep watch at the front. We would wait, patiently wait.</p><p></p><p>Shortly after Ebon and I made it to our positions, rather than release a carrier pigeon, the Nerullites sent a gargoyle out. Rather than let this creature escape, the fleet-footed Ebon gave chase. I stayed put, as per the plan. About this time, everyone else forgot the plan. Cord moved from cover and shouted to the defenders in the temple that he wished to parley. What followed was an incredibly inane conversation that even included Cord claiming to be a vampire. Perhaps when Mupp and I shaved his head, we nicked his brain?</p><p></p><p>Shadra joined the parley. Carrier pigeons were released one at a time from the temple. Cord and Glyth took turns shooting them down. Then, Glyth, Cord, Dimas, Zara, and Mooncrater completely broke cover and walked right up the door of the temple! In more or less clear earshot of those inside, they discussed soaking the door with lantern oil, igniting the door from a distance with a flaming arrow or some such thing, et cetera. Now remember these points: Ebon was gone after the gargoyle. The plan was to wait. There had been absolutely no hint that we would stroll brazenly up to the front door and set it on fire. And I’m supposed to be the fool.</p><p></p><p>After the lantern oil was spread, but before the door could be lit or the group could retreat to safety, the temple’s entry swung inward and an 18-foot-long undead crocodile charged out. It scattered, Glyth, Cord, Dimas, Zara, and Moonraker. Its first bite very nearly killed Zara! Of course, since I am still behind the temple at this time, I’m not actually witness to this action. I filled in the details from later camp conversation.</p><p></p><p>About the same time my comrades at the temple’s front got semi-organized, two more undead crocodiles, neither as large as the first, exited the structure and entered the fray. It was Dimas’s fireball that alerted me to the trouble up front. I put my short legs into gear as fast as I could, hoping without result that more stupidity wouldn’t occur before I got there.</p><p></p><p>First bit of new stupidity: Cord abandons the fight against the undead crocodiles in favor of scaling the north wall of the temple to enter the second floor. Now, as it eventually played out, this did prove to have some good results, but it did make me think of that nicked brain theory again. Since I am not built for falling from heights, I moved around to the front in time to turn one of the smaller undead reptiles. Then, Zara succumbed to crocodile-inflicted injuries. Moonglow was also sorely wounded by this time, although he managed turn the other smaller undead croc.</p><p></p><p>As I’ve noted a few times, I am a field medic of some skill as well as a cleric of Garl. Seeing my beloved Zara fall, I rushed in her direction. Second bit of new stupidity: Dimas cast web, catching both me and the giant undead crocodile. Notice the similarity here: Dimas, dumb ass, Dimas, dumb ass. Coincidence? Perhaps.</p><p></p><p>I am not strong of body, but I am quite nimble. I avoided total entanglement in the web, but was still caught in the midst of its sticky mass. The giant croc, while also entangled, had little problem lunging its way through the strands. So, not only I was I prevented from reaching Zara to administer healing, but I was also left trapped in a magical web face to face with a monster more than capable of chewing me into a pulpy mess.</p><p></p><p>Fortunately, Moonrock managed to pull Zara away from the web. The healing power of Corellon Larethian revived my love. About this time, the Nerullite cleric in the temple exited under cover of invisibility. Dumbass was able to see him owing to some sort of enchantment earlier cast. Unfortunately, the elven wizard’s warning didn’t stop the evil cleric from moving into the midst of Frank (remember him?), Dimas, Zara, Glyth, Moonchunk, and Shadra before casting some sort of wicked spell. Dark tendrils of evil exploded forth, damaging everyone in the area.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, stuck in the web facing a giant undead predator, I took desperate action. I couldn’t escape from the web faster than the croc. I couldn’t cast a spell with the monster so close. So, I hit with alchemist’s fire. The web and the undead beast burst into flames, and the fire began to spread. The Nerullite cleric hit Zara with some sort of fear spell, and my beloved turned tail and fled. Shadra and Dimas moved away from the cleric, leaving Frank (the mentally-dominated evil fighter), Glyth, and Moonfish in hand-to-hand with the Nerullite (who was visible at this time). Unfortunately, due to some sort of magic, Frank was freed from Shadra’s mental control. Remember how foolish it is to let even a collared fox into the henhouse?</p><p></p><p>I forgot about Cord. He made it into the second floor and quickly confiscated several pages of correspondence before he was attacked by a second gargoyle. Apparently gargoyles are impervious to normal weapons, and Cord’s weapons are quite normal. Cord managed to grapple the gargoyle out of the second story, crashing to the ground. About this time, Ebon returned. Using something known as a “key strike,” Ebon assisted Cord against the gargoyle. Ebon’s fists and feet proved effective weapons against the gargoyle’s stony hide.</p><p></p><p>But back to me in the web. The fire ate an expanding circle out of the web. I was burned somewhat badly, but not as badly as the undead croc. I also hit the monster with a vial of holy water, adding more injury to its hateful form. I then managed to slip away from it, and cast hide from undead, vanishing completely from its sight. Deprived of me as a target, the beast turned toward Glyth, but Shadra destroyed it with a hail of psychic fire.</p><p></p><p>The Nerullite cleric then dropped Moonglow with an inflict wounds spell. The elven cleric screamed abruptly and fell to the ground. Frank was giving Glyth a pounding. Throughout all of this, Cord and Ebon did battle with the gargoyle. So fierce was that fight that Cord would be rendered unconscious by a looping claw. Now free from the web, I moved toward the battle. Glyth turned tail and ran. The Nerullite blinded Shadra with a spell. By this time, Zara was returning to the fight. I was almost had reached the fight as well. Dimas moved to assist Shadra.</p><p></p><p>The Nerullite and Frank retreated into the temple, shutting and barring the door behind them.</p><p></p><p>So, to sum up: Moonrise and Cord were unconscious, nearly dead. Zara, Ebon, and Glyth were seriously injured. I had suffered minor injuries. Dimas had used most of his offensive spells. Shadra was blinded. We had killed two guard, one gargoyle, and three undead crocodiles. Frank had overcome Shadra’s control and was once again our enemy.</p><p></p><p>Had we managed to get into the temple? No. Did the first attempt fail because a generally idiotic plan? Yes. Did the second attempt fail because of generally idiotic behavior? Yes. Was I right about the flaws of the first plan? Yes. Am I, the gnome, the real fool in our merry band of mercenaries? Well, I am still traveling with them.</p><p></p><p>But enough for now. We do eventually get into the temple, thanks largely to people finally shutting up long enough to listen to the one with actual experience breaking into places in order to steal things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mark Chance, post: 1959553, member: 2795"] [b]Plans Fail...Twice[/b] You meet the strangest people traveling through the wilds of the Pomarj. Case in point: We met an elf wizard named Dimas the Librarian (or something to that effect, as my elven is still not that good). Dimas’s very unlikely story is that he was deep in the Pomarj - alone, mind you - researching rare tree mosses. As I said: You meet the strangest people. But I get ahead of my story. Two days after my brother Mupp left the group, with a mentally dominated orc (called “that orc” most of the time) and human fighter (named Frank) under Shadra’s control, we were attacked by a harpy. Or, more specifically, that orc was attacked and killed by a harpy. The monster seemed content to with that one kill. Apparently it was merely out hunting for dinner. Glyth scouted the area and reported that there were several harpy nests in the vicinity. We elected to leave these monsters alone. A wise choice, I note, given we no longer have a bard in our midst who could counter their charming song. We continued following the carrier pigeons for a few more days. We then met the very strange Dimas. Two days after that meeting, we entered the swamp. I intensely dislike swamps for several reasons. One: I am a gnome, and water that is a mere inconvenience for a human tends to rise to my chest, making it quite difficult to walk. Two: Swamps mean stinky muck sticking to my clothes and boots. Three: The insects and leeches are horrible. Nearly everything that lives in a swamp bites, often quite painfully, and most of these biters also suck blood. This particular swamp added number four to my list of reasons to intensely dislike swamps: Disgusting yellow oozes. A disgusting yellow ooze burst from the murky water right in my path, nearly pulling me under entirely. Fortunately, I managed to lunge backward just enough to avoid its tentacle. Realizing that my gnomish rapier, no matter how well crafted, would likely be useless against a creature with the consistency of thick porridge, I retreated from the fight as quickly as possible. Zara proved my suspicions about rapiers were correct. Hers was completely ineffective. Moonpie’s longsword was not only ineffective, it also caused there to be two oozes where before there was only one. I yelled something to the effect of: “Use blunt weapons!” My advice was ignored until there were six oozes instead of just the one. By this time, my companions had realized my advice was sound. Ebon used his quarterstaff to good effect. Zara and Moonbeam also carry maces. Zara’s is even magical. Have I mentioned that we found a magical mace? I forget. Shadra’s psionic energy also inflicted notable damage against the oozes. We destroyed the creatures with only minimal injuries. Later this same day, we found the second temple of Nerull. Two guards, both human and appearing very bored, stood watch outside the temple, behind a stone wall about my height. The temple itself stands on a hillock rising out of the swamp. Glyth, Ebon, and I scouted the perimeter. The northern face of the second story was pierced by several half-door-sized openings. When we got back to the main party, we released one of the pigeons. Sure enough, it flew to the second story through one of those openings. A strategy session followed. We had to get into the temple. There was only one door, which was behind the two guards. No windows on the first floor. No visible guards anywhere else. The door itself looked rather stout. Our archers - Glyth and Cord - expressed great confidence that they could instantly slay both guards at a range. I sensibly pointed out that if they missed their marks, the guards would have sufficient time to raise an alarm, which would then make it more difficult for us to enter the temple. I sensibly pointed out that stealth was a better option, and that we should at least get a few of the sneakier people, myself included, around to the southern side of the temple where we could more easily flank the guards and prevent them from reaching the door should the archers fail. Of course, my advice was ignored. And so Glyth and Cord let fly their arrows. Cord nicked one guard and hit the wall. Glyth put a shaft into the other guard’s shoulder and hit the wall. Neither guard died instantly. Both guards screamed loud enough to wake the dead, which at a temple of Nerull is seldom ever just a figure of speech. The guards, after screaming, raced for the door. Of course, no one was in a flanking position to stop their retreat. The first guard yanked the door open before being killed by Dimas’s magic missiles. The second made it through the door just before being struck between the shoulder blades by a crossbow bolt, I believe fired by Ebon. The door slammed shut. Our foes were alerted. Another strategy session followed. I again pointed out that stealth was our best option. Shadra opined that we should wait a few hours at least. Since temples of Nerull often house clerics of Nerull, who have an annoying tendency to cast defensive spells on themselves and their allies, Shadra reasoned that a noticeable delay would wear out the durations of any such magics. If the Nerullites abandoned the temple to hunt us, at least we would be fighting on open ground. A plan was formed. Ebon and I would sneak around to the rear of the temple and get as close as possible. This way, if the enemy did leave, we could catch them from behind. Also, there might have been a concealed exit, and our position to the rear would make such egress visible when used. The rest of the group would keep watch at the front. We would wait, patiently wait. Shortly after Ebon and I made it to our positions, rather than release a carrier pigeon, the Nerullites sent a gargoyle out. Rather than let this creature escape, the fleet-footed Ebon gave chase. I stayed put, as per the plan. About this time, everyone else forgot the plan. Cord moved from cover and shouted to the defenders in the temple that he wished to parley. What followed was an incredibly inane conversation that even included Cord claiming to be a vampire. Perhaps when Mupp and I shaved his head, we nicked his brain? Shadra joined the parley. Carrier pigeons were released one at a time from the temple. Cord and Glyth took turns shooting them down. Then, Glyth, Cord, Dimas, Zara, and Mooncrater completely broke cover and walked right up the door of the temple! In more or less clear earshot of those inside, they discussed soaking the door with lantern oil, igniting the door from a distance with a flaming arrow or some such thing, et cetera. Now remember these points: Ebon was gone after the gargoyle. The plan was to wait. There had been absolutely no hint that we would stroll brazenly up to the front door and set it on fire. And I’m supposed to be the fool. After the lantern oil was spread, but before the door could be lit or the group could retreat to safety, the temple’s entry swung inward and an 18-foot-long undead crocodile charged out. It scattered, Glyth, Cord, Dimas, Zara, and Moonraker. Its first bite very nearly killed Zara! Of course, since I am still behind the temple at this time, I’m not actually witness to this action. I filled in the details from later camp conversation. About the same time my comrades at the temple’s front got semi-organized, two more undead crocodiles, neither as large as the first, exited the structure and entered the fray. It was Dimas’s fireball that alerted me to the trouble up front. I put my short legs into gear as fast as I could, hoping without result that more stupidity wouldn’t occur before I got there. First bit of new stupidity: Cord abandons the fight against the undead crocodiles in favor of scaling the north wall of the temple to enter the second floor. Now, as it eventually played out, this did prove to have some good results, but it did make me think of that nicked brain theory again. Since I am not built for falling from heights, I moved around to the front in time to turn one of the smaller undead reptiles. Then, Zara succumbed to crocodile-inflicted injuries. Moonglow was also sorely wounded by this time, although he managed turn the other smaller undead croc. As I’ve noted a few times, I am a field medic of some skill as well as a cleric of Garl. Seeing my beloved Zara fall, I rushed in her direction. Second bit of new stupidity: Dimas cast web, catching both me and the giant undead crocodile. Notice the similarity here: Dimas, dumb ass, Dimas, dumb ass. Coincidence? Perhaps. I am not strong of body, but I am quite nimble. I avoided total entanglement in the web, but was still caught in the midst of its sticky mass. The giant croc, while also entangled, had little problem lunging its way through the strands. So, not only I was I prevented from reaching Zara to administer healing, but I was also left trapped in a magical web face to face with a monster more than capable of chewing me into a pulpy mess. Fortunately, Moonrock managed to pull Zara away from the web. The healing power of Corellon Larethian revived my love. About this time, the Nerullite cleric in the temple exited under cover of invisibility. Dumbass was able to see him owing to some sort of enchantment earlier cast. Unfortunately, the elven wizard’s warning didn’t stop the evil cleric from moving into the midst of Frank (remember him?), Dimas, Zara, Glyth, Moonchunk, and Shadra before casting some sort of wicked spell. Dark tendrils of evil exploded forth, damaging everyone in the area. Meanwhile, stuck in the web facing a giant undead predator, I took desperate action. I couldn’t escape from the web faster than the croc. I couldn’t cast a spell with the monster so close. So, I hit with alchemist’s fire. The web and the undead beast burst into flames, and the fire began to spread. The Nerullite cleric hit Zara with some sort of fear spell, and my beloved turned tail and fled. Shadra and Dimas moved away from the cleric, leaving Frank (the mentally-dominated evil fighter), Glyth, and Moonfish in hand-to-hand with the Nerullite (who was visible at this time). Unfortunately, due to some sort of magic, Frank was freed from Shadra’s mental control. Remember how foolish it is to let even a collared fox into the henhouse? I forgot about Cord. He made it into the second floor and quickly confiscated several pages of correspondence before he was attacked by a second gargoyle. Apparently gargoyles are impervious to normal weapons, and Cord’s weapons are quite normal. Cord managed to grapple the gargoyle out of the second story, crashing to the ground. About this time, Ebon returned. Using something known as a “key strike,” Ebon assisted Cord against the gargoyle. Ebon’s fists and feet proved effective weapons against the gargoyle’s stony hide. But back to me in the web. The fire ate an expanding circle out of the web. I was burned somewhat badly, but not as badly as the undead croc. I also hit the monster with a vial of holy water, adding more injury to its hateful form. I then managed to slip away from it, and cast hide from undead, vanishing completely from its sight. Deprived of me as a target, the beast turned toward Glyth, but Shadra destroyed it with a hail of psychic fire. The Nerullite cleric then dropped Moonglow with an inflict wounds spell. The elven cleric screamed abruptly and fell to the ground. Frank was giving Glyth a pounding. Throughout all of this, Cord and Ebon did battle with the gargoyle. So fierce was that fight that Cord would be rendered unconscious by a looping claw. Now free from the web, I moved toward the battle. Glyth turned tail and ran. The Nerullite blinded Shadra with a spell. By this time, Zara was returning to the fight. I was almost had reached the fight as well. Dimas moved to assist Shadra. The Nerullite and Frank retreated into the temple, shutting and barring the door behind them. So, to sum up: Moonrise and Cord were unconscious, nearly dead. Zara, Ebon, and Glyth were seriously injured. I had suffered minor injuries. Dimas had used most of his offensive spells. Shadra was blinded. We had killed two guard, one gargoyle, and three undead crocodiles. Frank had overcome Shadra’s control and was once again our enemy. Had we managed to get into the temple? No. Did the first attempt fail because a generally idiotic plan? Yes. Did the second attempt fail because of generally idiotic behavior? Yes. Was I right about the flaws of the first plan? Yes. Am I, the gnome, the real fool in our merry band of mercenaries? Well, I am still traveling with them. But enough for now. We do eventually get into the temple, thanks largely to people finally shutting up long enough to listen to the one with actual experience breaking into places in order to steal things. [/QUOTE]
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