Gamers and Stereotypes

This is an off topic thread I decided to start here as an offshoot of the girl gamers thread.

Elf Witch said:

When I see gamers who are in the mid 20s who fit the sterotype I have to wonder why. Is it a psychological problem that stops them from being able to fit into mainstream society or is that they don't want to. Is it a badge of honor they wear. Society didn't let them fit in when they were teen agers so why should they bother to try and fit in now, It is the principle that counts.

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Since I pretty much qualify as this (mid 20s, overweight, wears sci-fi/geek t-shirts). I'd say I look like this because...well, I'm overweight and I like sci-fi and geek slogans.

I could probably go on a diet, do huge amounts of exercise and try to slim down while switching to more stylish clothes and try to go out and do less geeky things. Then again, if I did, I wouldn't be me anymore.

Yes, I have to deal with the consequences. This means a lot of people will write me off just by seeing me. That is their loss. But to make it sound like I have a psychological problem because I happen to look like this makes it sound like there is "normal" and everyone who doesn't try to fit into it is wrong.

Also, I've spent days at home when I wasn't going out or having anyone over without having a shower. I've also run into situations where I've been out, gone directly to work, then after work gone directly to a game in order to be on time. I seem to lack the ability to "feel" dirty as I hear a lot of other people do. Don't get me wrong, I have showers, I get clean and I really enjoy showers. It's just that the real reason I have them is for other people rather than for myself. I've been in a room filled with gamers, a decent number of which I knew had been awake for almost 48 hours without really even leaving the gaming room and I couldn't even smell them at all. I knew they didn't have showers during this time. Apparently I lack the ability to smell at all. Except most of the time I can't stand the smell of all the strong perfumes, aftershaves, and deoderants people wear.

The reason I bring this up is because without fail I hear the stereotypes of gamers being all a bunch of overweight, likely balding, geek slogan t-shirt wearing, stinky, socially inept losers. And, a lot of those stereotypes describe ME perfectly. Except, I don't believe I'm socially inept, nor do I believe I'm stinky.

I don't like very many non-geeky things. I don't like any sports at all, can't stand watching them or playing most of them. I can't stand discussions on the stock market, financial planning, make up, shopping, fashion. I hate drugs, drinking, smoking, and bars. I can't stand doing any of them or being around people who do them.

So, I see people acting like idiots, getting drunk out of their mind, treating women like crap, killing themselves and other with drugs and alcohol. If I voice my opinion on any of these things, however, I am treated like an outcast for not accepting the things that everyone else does. However, the opinion I tend to get from everyone I meet is that since I play D&D, live with my parents, am in my mid 20s and it might have been 24 hours since I last took a shower that I'm horribly mal-adjusted. That I'm purposefully trying not to fit into society and that if I only changed who I was, people would like me better.

As a continuation from another point about the previous thread. Even If I'm purposefully dressing up, showered an hour before leaving, and am TRYING to fit in with "normal" people, one mention of playing RPGs or D&D is enough for normal people to ignore me and treat me like I'm less than human.

Sorry for the rant, but I really have to get this off my chest. I know that I'm going to be called every name in the book and I should never be this honest in a post ever. But, hey, I gotta be me. Do your worst, I suppose.

edit: for spelling and clarification

*Paging T-Billy*

i ams what i ams

i'm popeye the sailor mang...

Uh, my only response is that I'd go ahead and go with a daily shower. That's one area that I don't think is a meaningful "lifestyle choice" to forsake. Anything else, you go nuts, do whatever makes you happy.

Majoru Oakheart said:

Except, I don't believe I'm socially inept, nor do I believe I'm stinky.

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Have you asked?

Majoru Oakheart said:

I can't stand doing any of them or being around people who do them.

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Judge not, lest ye be judged.

Majoru Oakheart, I feel your pain. About 8 years ago, I spend several hundred dollars in therapy because I couldn't figure out if the problem was *me*, or the problem was everyone else.

I'm going to be candid here (as if I rarely hold back otherwise!)

I was 23/24, still a virgin, I didn't drink at all, listened almost exclusively to classical music (still do), enjoyed playing computer games and D&D, enjoyed Star Wars, and was awkward around women. Yea, that about summed me up.

On the plus side, I had a good job, I had friends, I showered every day, was thin, and not outwardly geeky at all. I'm really a pretty average looking guy, I suppose.

But, in general I didn't fit in. I couldn't understand *people* and what most considered fun (getting drunk at a party, or watching football, or participating in organized religion, etc), I didn't want any part of those things.

Ultimately, it was a waste of money, and the guy agreed with me that I just needed to be me. It probably didn't help that most of my friends slept around, had problems with drugs in their past, and generally led lives that resembled soap operas. Don't get me wrong, they were great guys, and I loved gaming with them (one was even my roommate for quite some time), but they certainly weren't role models by any stretch of the imagination.


I've given up trying to fit in. I can put on appearances, and I have all the social skills I need to perform in the business world, make friends, get along with coworkers, and what have you. But I'm not embarrassed to tell them that I'm an atheist, hate football, don't drink, don't smoke, and think their music is crap. Yea, it doesn't win me a lot of friends in some circles, but I've learned when to keep my mouth shut thing.

And I don't think you're offbase on the whole shower thing. As the quickly-banned poll in off-topic revealed, most people shower every day. I don't do that anymore. I'm just too busy with life, my wife, my daughter, work, my hobbies, and everything in between to have the luxury of waking up early and taking a shower. But it's not like I dig ditches every day. I sit on my ass in an air-conditioned building and work on a computer. I think the major factor in smelling bad is whether you wear deoderant. If you do that, you shouldn't have a problem. You have to be really dirty before dirt makes you stink. My wife doesn't shower every day either. I don't think it's all that uncommon. Maybe I'm just more environmentally conscious than some people.

On the smell thing, I would recommend asking a close friend if you smell. If they're a good friend they'll tell you. Most people can't smell their own body odor, because our bodies become adjusted to it.

And losing weight is a good idea for health reason, but I wouldn't recommend trying to do that just to try to fit in.

So, I'll bottom line it for you. Screw everyone else! It took me a while to recognize that all people are different. I get a lot of weird looks from people when I tell them I like classical music, but then I find out that they like German Rap, so to each their own, you know?

Damn man, I smell you from here....or wait...is that me??? It's kinda funny, because we are sorta opposite. I am really into sports, play "over 30" baseball and football, go to the pubs with my friends, try to dress "nice" when out in public etc....but I get hammered by my " cool " friends, about gaming...I usually consider the source. They are smoking weed, getting DUI's and can't keep a girlfriend. We game every Sunday night, and 2x a year, I go to a LARP. Alot of biggies in our industry attend and I have been going for 10 years now. Guess what, sometimes both "worlds" collide. My gaming friends make fun of my drinking/pool/sports buddies just as much as the reverse. Some of the 2 groups have actually become friends, socializing together on occasion,, when a cool band is playing etc....

People have no right making fun of you, for your choices, as long as you are not imposing them. But, and maybe reread your post, you also suffer by the same rule. You sound very condescending in your rant too...so I'd say it goes both ways...I will never quit gaming. I have had a relationship with a spectacular girl fall apart because of it. It's not about tring to "conform" or fit in, it about hanging out with people you are comfortable with, and get along with, and if anyone gives you a hard time, tell them to "kiss your Ass" and consider the souce, but never sell out, and don't stoop to their level, because I know alot of gamers who do...


Good luck man,
Pat

die_kluge said:

...don't drink, don't smoke,

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what do you do?

diaglo said:

what do you do?

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I'm always busy. I write music, I'm working on my master's degree, I surf the web, I play on the computer, watch movies, spend time with my wife and daughter, we go out to eat, etc, etc.


I don't care for drinking. I'll occasionally have a wine cooler, but in general I find the taste of alcohol to be most disagreeable. And I can't see drinking for the purposes of getting drunk because I rather enjoy having full use of my mental facilities.

I think most people are mentally weak, which is why some day I will rule them all!!