The Acrimonious Adventurer Association

Are you the keymaster?

The orc warlord washed away his hatred for Menthos and seemed to even soften his countenance. The worg lowered towards the warlock as the orc raised his lance to a vertical position and rested it on his thigh. Menthos feel blood rush through his head, the pressure mounted but not enough to cause a headache.

“You speak the old tongue, how did you come to be here?” The orc asked

“I was sent help with the assault from the south, I culled a bunch of dwarves from the town south of here in hopes they would also die on this battlefield. They did, but too late to prevent the destruction of your goblin horde.” Menthos replies

The orc surveys the southern side of the battlefield; dozens of goblin bodies are visible at the edge of the smoke, their killer not visible from this low vantage point.

“Just you were sent?” The orc demands

“No, I had a cryo-hydra with me as well, but that ogre and his buddies killed it a day south of here. They were on their way to free Omen from our siege.” Menthos responded

“That would’ve been a very handy beast to have. We need to flush out the Omen survivors and take the town.” The orc announces

“The battle is won, look around you. The giants even now are wiping out the last vestiges of humanity.” Menthos replies pointing to the hill giants in Omen swatting at their feet with their massive clubs.

The orc shifts his gaze back to the town, he watches as the giants wade further and further into Omen, “Yes I suppose you’re right. Go back to Horjimir and report we’ve taken the town.” The orc commands

“I think you should be the one to go.” Menthos suggests

“Why is that?” The orc questions turning his head back to face the teifling

“You can fly, you’ll get there quicker and they’ll be able to send out goblin reinforcements to replace the ones lost here.” Menthos answers

“Yes, I see the wisdom of your answer. Here let me give you a lift.” The orc offers

Menthos climbs aboard the back of the worg and the orc takes off for Omen, as they fly over the southern wall Menthos spies the last few ragtag survivors battling it out with two hill giants. Over the din of battle, Menthos can hear a familiar voice singing over the chaos.

The orc flies Menthos to the feet of the rear two giants and lands there. Menthos slides off the worg and stares down the giants.

“This is, uh what’s your name?” The orc asks Menthos

“Tehas Baggerus, T-bag for short” Menthos answers

“Tehas, will assume command of the Omen destruction until I return with more goblins. Obey him or I’ll have a point of contention with you.” The orc says lowering his lance at each of the two giants

The orc takes to flight and heads off to the north, the two giants stare down at Menthos, “Well?” comes their question

Menthos looks beyond them at the remaining Omen guard then back up and the giants, “The mine here is full of gold for whoever wishes to carry it out. I could use some well paid strong hands like yourselves, unfortunately you know how these things get out and someone’s feelings get hurt. Tell you what, prove to me that you two are the best for the job by whipping you two buddies over there before they kill the Omen survivors.” Menthos offers

“Why? We’re supposed to kill them all.” A giant replies

“And you shall, I want some fun first before you guys squash them all.” Menthos answers

Haimish didn’t know why the giants stopped beating his force, only that they were fighting amongst themselves now and the breather in mid battle was appreciated, it was then that he spied Menthos on the other side of the giants and assumed that the plan worked and reinforcements would be steaming over the palisades any second.

The two fresher giants easily bested their weary friends and returned to Menthos for their winnings. Haimish saw the look of uncertainty upon the face of Menthos and understood that there were no reinforcements and the lack of anyone else from their party making an appearance sank his heart.

“You take us to gold!” the giants demanded

“I will as soon as I have my fun, we’ve got all night might as well see what food Omen has stored around here.” Menthos replies

“I am hungry.” A giant answers and both agree to search for food

As they busy themselves Menthos makes his way to Haimish who is holding back the rangers from charging the “devil” and killing the warlock.

“What happened to you?” Haimish asks pointing to Menthos’ new horns and twisted facial features

“Gas.” Menthos replied

“Where are the others?” Haimish questions

“Turgar and Xanthos are dead, Doopa might be. It’s just us.” Menthos answered

“Hey ugly man, you gonna kill them or what?” the giants ask

Menthos’ transformed façade made him more aware of small annoyances, such as a peculiar scratching and dragging sound.

“I’ve got a better surprise, come over here and look at this jewelry!” Menthos shouts

Two dozen longswords take aim at Menthos’ throat as the rangers ignite their fury, the giants couldn’t get to Menthos quick enough and Haimish lowered his shoulders in defeat as Menthos had seemingly toyed with them and turned against him.

As the ranger’s swords went up and the hill giant’s feet crushed a nearby building, Menthos gave Haimish a wink.

Dozens of crossbow shafts filled the air and peppered the nearest giant, his stride went off balance and he crashed in-between Menthos and the incensed rangers. The dwarves of She-Wolf flung themselves over the wall, rallying the surviving Omen dwarves and shifting the ranger ire to the downed giant.

The rangers and dwarves on the ground quickly overwhelm the downed giant and tear him to pieces. The remaining hill giant screams in horror as he races for the far wall in an attempt to flee, more bolts pierce his back as he reaches the wall, grabs the top and hurdles the wall. Menthos and Haimish both call for the fleeing giant to be brought down, but the increased range cuts the bolts hitting the fleeing giant in half and he manages to stay on his feet as he flees into the snowstorm and disappears.

“Now what?” Haimish asks of Menthos as the surviving Omen residents celebrate with the She-Wolf crossbow wielding dwarves.

“This place is forfeit and so is my life once the orc gets back and discovers what happened, or more likely once my little charm wears off and he comes looking for me.” Menthos answers

“I have an idea.” Haimish tells the teifling

The dwarves tell of Doopa’s rescue and that he’s recuperating in the woods beyond the smoke screen. Haimish has a few dwarves bring Turgar’s and Xanthos’ bodies into Omen, seeing that Xanthos hasn’t left much to work with, Haimish moves on to Turgar’s body, and burning and removing clothing gives the ogre shaman a fairly decent disguise of a dead burned hill giant. Haimish then has all the bolts removed from the downed giant and that carcass burned as well, along with the two previously killed giants.

Haimish then spends the waning hours of daylight reconstructing a dead human ranger and parts of destroyed worg into a burned façade of a demonic teifling, this disguise far better Turgar’s.

“Now hopefully when the orc returns, he'll find you and four hill giants dead from massive fire damage and Omen burned to the ground. Think it’ll work?” Haimish asks

“Well seeing as I was out of ideas, this works better than anything I was coming up with, but why leave Turgar here? Aleena could probably raise him.” Menthos asks

“He was already dead and his sacrifice likely ensures the rest of us live, would you rather I leave a note that told the orc where to find you?” Haimish answers

Menthos understands and corrals the remaining humans and dwarves to begin a nightlong march to Kindoras Keep. Haimish has Doopa carry the remains of Xanthos with him.

“Why bring that along, it’s like putty, you could’ve used that to make anything.” Menthos inquires

“Xanthos had his heart removed, not something I can dig out of something else and stick in there with the remaining light I had. Plus he’d want to be buried or at lease reincarnated not burned and left to rot.” Haimish answers

“Why, that’s what you did to Turgar, left him to rot.” Menthos replies

“No, I left him to save us, there’s a difference.” Haimish answers

“Only to a trueborn.” Menthos responds under his breath

The trip back to Kindoras is uneventful as over one hundred dwarves and three dozen rangers makes for an impressive deterrent for enemies. The pissed look on Gorn’s face, made the trek al the worthwhile for Menthos, who wasted no time in announcing his return as he rode ahead of the rest of the group by a few hundred feet.

“Omen is sacked, She-Wolf is decimated and low on body count and Hledra was defeated at Omen. Three for one means you can kick my arse Gorn.” Menthos spits

“I nae by kissin’ nothin’ on yer ugly behind demon!” Gorn shouts back

Menthos gives the captain the universal leave me alone sign and helps lead the wounded into the towers near the north side of the keep. Aleena and her acolytes impressed beyond mere fandom immediately set to work restoring the health of the wounded.

“I thought ya said Omen was sacked demon?” Gorn whispers into Menthos ear, having walked up while the teifling busied himself with the wounded

“I thought you said you weren’t going to be kissing my arse, but I could have sworn I felt your hot stinky breath on it just a second ago.” Menthos answers

Gorn snots and walks off to shout orders to his guards and Catalan barbarians who had been conscripted into the keep’s defenses.

Menthos notes a new construction going on in the center of the keep, it’s wide foundation already dug and the first stones laid, “what’s going on there?” he asks Aleena

“We received a Pentacle yesterday, your arrival has truly lead to this keep figuring prominently in the remaking of the northern wastes. We’re building a defense tower that will allow us to turn our defensive measures into offensive ones.” Aleena answers referring to the keep’s guards

“What’s a Pentacle?” Menthos inquires

“Five Pyromancers and their Tower of Fire.” Aleena’s eyes blaze with an internal light as she mentions the structure being built

“What will it do?” the warlock asks

“It will allow the pyromancers to fire blasts of fire from the top of the tower, protecting the keep from invaders, especially frost giants that tend to wander too far south in the winter.” Aleena answers

“Interesting, where are they now?” Menthos asks

“They are in their rooms pouring over an old prophecy they claim points to this early winter as a sign of destruction. I think it’s a bunch of hooey, but I am not privy to the documents so I cannot say for certain what they portend.” Aleena answers

Menthos nodded at Aleena’s reply as Haimish and Doopa sauntered up to the warlock, “Looks like your little keep finally has some crowding issues.” Haimish observes

“Yes, but I’m not sure all will end well if we’re forced to huddle together in this weather for six months.” Menthos states

“True, Doopa and I are going to travel up to Catalan and see if the druids there want to take care of Xanthos’ body or not. Want to come?” Haimish asks

“No, I have some duties I need to attend to here. Be sure to take some rangers with you, don’t want to end up like Kessen and get lost on the trail.” Menthos answers laughing

In the morning Haimish and Doopa took a retinue of fifteen rangers along with Xanthos’ twisted body with them to Catalan. Aleena woke Menthos in the morning offering him a potion to help restore his youthful appearance.

“I’ve heard talk of the words of power, I’ve never met anyone who’s used them though, what did you do with them? Topple Omen’s walls, destroy the goblin army? Tell me all the boring details.” Aleena pleads

“I used them to have three giants killed, another fled screaming in the night, and the Hledra captain turned tail back to their home.” Menthos answered drinking the potion and feeling his face contort back to it’s original state.

“The Pentacle fears you, they think you are the catalyst and doom is the product.” Aleena states

“I thought that’s what Kador wished to happen, I would think they would relish proof of the prophecy.” Menthos answered

“Maybe, they fear their own lives and that makes them question whether or not the prophecy is real. Proof of one’s own death tends to motivate people in strange ways.” Aleena answers, unbuckling her breastplate

“In what way does it motivate you?” Menthos inquires

“I wish to be the receptacle that Kador returns in.” Aleena answers as her armor falls to the floor and her hair cascades down her back

Man! Demons get all the chicks!

I wish this was a LARP game.

But then HM would only be able to write it out as heresay!
(Menthos doesn't allow voyeurs)

A new member, or are you just happy to see me?

Haimish reached Catalan in just over two days; he retold the tragedy at Omen and the death of Xanthos at the hands of the orc warlord. The Catalan officials questioned Haimish more on the odd weather pattern rather than the battle or its outcome. Haimish sensed they were actually please Omen had ceased to exist for the time being, Haimish chalked it up to the mining that was occurring there and the druids natural aversion to using the land in that manner.

Haimish relayed the party’s trip north from She-Wolf and the weather they encountered and included the attack by the cryo-hydra as well. The Catalan council nodded in agreement with Haimish’s observations from the Southeast edge of the Majestics. Catalan sat midway on the Western edge of the mountain range and overlooked the barbarian plains, the city had once been a staging ground for numerous barbarian excursions across the plains. Twenty years ago however Grinnor the Cruel rampaged too far west and reached the Gigabolt Mountains and the druids that lived there. His horde was decimated and he was made to lead the druids back to his base. The druids quickly subverted the barbarians and all has been quiet for over fifteen years.

Haimish noted Catalan’s interest in the Majestics Mountains was something new and he wondered exactly what their new interest really masked. Catalan asked how the barbarians that had gone south to help rebuild Kindoras Keep were behaving themselves and when they could expect them to return. Haimish wondered if they were covertly asking if or when Kindoras would be rebuilt, or if Catalan had no interest in that morsel whatsoever and truly only cared about the barbarians.

“I’m not involved in the day-to-day of the keep, that question is best left for those in charge.” Was Haimish’s reply

“Xanthos had made us understand your party’s role was to help in its rebuilding, are you no longer involved in that aspect?” a druid asked

These guys are tricky, Haimish thought. “I’ve never been involved with that, I’m more of an inspiration than a stonemason you could just bring Xanthos back to life and ask him yourselves.”

“Whether Xanthos returns to us and in what form is the sole choosing of his spirit, it is far less taxing to seek these answers from someone who is present at this location and not expend our efforts to bring someone back to the Prime just to ask them a few questions.” The druid spoke

“Oh well, I just assumed you’d want someone to look into this weird weather pattern we’re having and someone who can fly over the range in a measure of weeks rather than years would be beneficial to you. I guess we’re talking about two different things here, my willingness to help and your indecisiveness in telling me what it is you want me to help you out with.” Haimish responds

“We know what the problem is unnatural; we do not need you to tell us this with your arcane divinations, the creatures of the mountains have communicated this to us already. Unfortunately that was two weeks ago and no further creatures have come down from the slopes since then.” The druid replies

“I’m sure Xanthos would love to help, he’s that kind of guy. Plus you’d get it done a lot quicker and not reduce your friend level any further.” Haimish offers

“Fine, we will see what Xanthos wishes.” The druid answers

Xanthos’ deformed body is placed in an oak circle as the twelve members of Catalan’s council form a circle just inside the oak circle. Haimish hears several sounds escape from the druids’ mouths, a rushing wind, a crackling fire, a landslide, and a babbling brook. All of these sounds wrap around Xanthos as a faint green light shimmers in the center of the flesh mound that is the current iteration of Xanthos. The light brightens and envelopes Xanthos, the light then turns a ruddy brown and recedes leaving the shaking form of a Dawn Elf huddled where Xanthos had been.

“The Xanthos spirit has returned to us, Gaia’s graciousness be witnessed.” The druids state in unison

No longer a centaur, the newly remade Xanthos kisses the ground and then accepts a cloak of leaves from the druids before joining Haimish and Doopa on the outside of the oak ring.

“Welcome back Xanthos, everything feel alright?” Haimish inquires

“I am satisfied with the results. I assume by your presence here that you managed to defeat Hledra and you kept the orc’s head as a trophy.” Xanthos asks in a low monotone

“Yes and no. Menthos tricked the orc into leaving and Omen was able to repel the remaining hill giants. Turgar was lost however; I can tell you the whole story on the way back to Kindoras.” Haimish explains

“I will not be returning to Kindoras with you. I seek the orc who adorns himself with my heart. I take flight in the morning to Hledra, I will destroy him myself.” Xanthos answers

“Uh, I sorta had to promise we’d check out the weather problems.” Haimish states

“Check them out then, I will return to Kindoras once I have what is mine back.” Xanthos answers

“Um, the plan involved you doing aerial reconnaissance.” Haimish explains

“Foolish of you to involve a dead man in your plans, I cannot comply with your request at this time.” Xanthos answers, turns and leaves Haimish and Doopa bewildered

“Changing man seem mad at singing man.” Doopa observes

“No, I don’t think so, if he was mad at me, I’d be dead.” Haimish answers

The bard and ogre lead the rangers they traversed up to Catalan with back to Kindoras that evening, Haimish reconciles Xanthos’ attitude by stating aloud to Doopa that he never wishes to be reincarnated. Doopa states his understanding of what Haimish wishes and then promptly asks what reincarnation is.

“Ya got a vist’r!” Gorn shouts while kicking Menthos out of his bed

“What the hell time is it?” Menthos asks irked at the interruption of his beauty sleep.

“Time fer ya to come to da front gate!” Gorn answers

Gorn slammed the door to Menthos’ room behind him and proceeded to the tower exit/entrance before turning around to see if Menthos was following him or not. What he discovered was more tiefling than he cared to see.

“What?!” Gorn exasperated

“Hey, you’re the one who said big emergency, come now, limited time only, everything must go, sale, sale, sale!” Menthos said, arms waving theatrically, as his naked form walked up to meet Gorn at the tower’s door

“Yer not going out der like dat!” Gorn demands

“Move aside patsy, I’ve got guests.” Menthos answers and pushes his way past Gorn and heads for the gate.

The full moon overhead wrapped itself in a sliver halo, ice crystals in the air giving the moon a serene glow. Menthos pushed open the gate tower entrance as four guards therein snapped to attention, the guards circled a lithe elf slowing stroking the back of a large white tiger. Heavy steps and hurried breathing forced their way through the door behind Menthos as Gorn recovered his disbelief and ran to the gate. Shocked expressions gave way to facial avoidance as the guards all turned their heads toward the visitor once they realized the state Menthos was in.

“What’s the meaning of this? I don’t know this guy.” Menthos states

“Sir, uh he said he had been um following you and your party for um days.” A Guard distractingly got out without trying to look at Menthos

Menthos walked up to the stranger and looked him over. The elf stared at Menthos, counting the appendages below the teifling’s waist.

“Hey!” Menthos shouts while snapping his fingers in the stranger’s face, “I’m up here.” Menthos accentuates by pointing his index and middle fingers of his right hand at his eyes.

“Do all teifling’s have egos large enough to physically protect them, thus eliminating the need for clothing and armor?” The stranger asks

“No, I have the multi-attack ability and I don’t do biting.” Menthos answers smugly

“I witnessed your fiasco at Omen, I too wish to be rid of the goblin menace. I seek to aid your ridding of their tribes from the Majestics.” The stranger states

“Wait, did you just insult me? And if you were there, I really appreciated you staying the hell away and not saving lives.” Menthos insinuates

“I came far too late to be of any effective resistance to your plight.” The stranger states

“What makes you think you’re good enough to do it now?” Menthos questions

“My road is littered with burned bridges under which has flowed many streams of misery, surely you of all people can appreciate that.” The stranger answers

“Nope, sorry you got the wrong guy. Unless it’s women, I ain’t buying.” Menthos replies

“Does your plan of attack involve tracking of some kind, in this weather you’d be lucky to spot a frost giant’s tracks let alone a small goblin’s.” The elf states

“A tracker huh? Do you shoot arrows and whine about how other people do your job better than you? And more importantly can you actually track and not fake it?” Menthos inquires

“I could track your forked tongue over the river of deceit three weeks after your reign ended.” The elf answers

“It warms my heart to know that my olfactory sense has not failed me, because this room is filling up with the stench of your BS. Other than tracking what special talent do you have?” Menthos asks

The elf’s eyes seem to fracture into hundreds of smaller eyes and then in a blink revert back to their sky blue color cradled in a cloud of white.

“Impressive, but the role of freak of nature has obviously been filled by me.” Menthos states shifting his hips

“The only good goblins are ones twisting on me spit of hate seasoned with the tears of the fallen.” The man answers

“Maybe you’ll do, you’ll have to pass the physical exam along with a rectal exam and Doctor Doopa is out right now. When he gets here I’ll let you know. Until then you can make yourself useful and go mortar something.” Menthos dismisses the elf

“Certainly, I am wizened for having met the Menthos Lyptus of my cud. I am Eeyore of the Apaxvn* tribe.” Eeyore introduces himself formally

“E or what?” Menthos asks

“Excuse me?” Eeyore asks

“E or what? F? Or G?” Menthos states, “Wait, orgy? Heh, I like you already.” Menthos answers

Two days of wall work later and Haimish along with Doopa and the rangers return minus Xanthos

“Xanthos will not be returning for a while.” Haimish relates the Catalan trip

“Awe, and here I was hoping this new guy I met could kill, I mean meet him.” Menthos answers

Menthos introduces Eeyore to Haimish and Doopa as a large eagle quickly descends winding around the pyromancer’s tower. Xanthos transforms back into his elven form and interjects himself into the conversation.

“Hledra’s found allies, frost giants move on this keep. They lie only a day travel to the north amid a cold I have never experienced or wish to recount. I fear my vengeance will need held until these foes have been dealt with.” Xanthos states



* astute readers may find out his secret before the story hour reveals it *

Icy grip of death

“Shouldn’t we get the horses?” Haimish asked

“Unnecessary, I’ve already dug us a tunnel to crawl through. It opens in the center of their encampment. The element of surprise will give us an advantage.” Xanthos answers

“That depends, how many giants were there?” Menthos inquires

“At least four, with a couple of dire bears as well.” Xanthos responds

“What? You’ve got to be joking. There’s no way we even come close to taking them out.” Menthos argues

“They have magic, lots of it.” Xanthos answers

Menthos’ countenance changes to meekness as he utters a weak “so?”

“I believe your participation has just been bought.” Xanthos replies

“I’ve made it no secret that I prostitute myself at the corner of magic and power avenues, and you sir are speaking my language.” Menthos relates

“Doopa not yet fight blue giants of tall mountains, Doopa look forward to adding to notches on belt.” The ogre advises

“Is that was those are for?” Menthos inquires

“Yes.” Doopa replies

“Huh?” Menthos says looking at his own belt

“Wow, you have lots of kills.” Doopa says admiring Menthos’ belt

“No, not really are notches are for different things.” Menthos answers

“Doopa like to learn taxi, taxa, texer; learn to mount heads of kills on wall. You do that?” The barbarian asks

“I’ve mounted plenty of things on the wall and most of them did have heads.” Menthos answers

“Okay, time to go.” Haimish interjects before the story gets even worse

“Wow, scary man teach Doopa?” The ogre asks of Menthos

“No! We are not going there, get moving.” Haimish demands

“Are you verifiably teifling? It would seem to me that you are more satyr than humanoid, perhaps there is a goat in your past?” Eeyore observes

“Ha, very funny. You got me there, say you smoke? I got these really nice cigars from Bulwark.” Menthos offers

“Thanks.” Eeyore says wearily before accepting the gift from the warlock

“Here.” Menthos offers, igniting a tinder twig and then lighting the cigar with it.

The group exits the keep and then circles around to the north side of the keep to begin their trek into the early winter, the group was easy to spot form the ramparts as Eeyore became a walking chimney as the group began assailing the southern reaches of the Majestics. Before long, Doopa was carrying the passed out Eeyore over his shoulder as the ranger’s white tiger growled softly at Menthos as it walked alongside of Doopa next to Eeyore.

Xanthos quickly located his hidden tunnel entrance and ushered the rest of the party into the hole. Doopa made Menthos drag Eeyore along in the rear of the party line, this made the going even slower as Doopa just barely fit inside the tunnel and several times thought he had become stuck in the tunnel. The party pushed their way for several miles, along the way Xanthos widened the tunnel so that Doopa could fit better and their tempo could increase.

The party realized at once when they had gotten close, even ten feet below the surface it was noticeably colder as Xanthos led them a few hundred feet further and stopped.

“Above is the giant encampment, a convincing show of might should drive them off. I want these removed so as to isolate Hledra within itself, no need to have giants hanging around while I’m trying to wrench the orc’s brain out through his anus.” Xanthos stated

“What a way to get your hands dirty.” Menthos replied

“That’s your plan, jump up through a gopher hole and yell, surprise like we’re jumping out of a cake with snow icing?” Haimish asks

“Your fear of the giants is understandable however misplaced, what you should fear more is defeat. The lives of thousands of sentient creatures, some you do not even know they exist are at stake here. For us to fail would be catastrophic to this ecosystem.” Eeyore explains

“I don’t fear defeat, I lose all the time and if I lose here I’ll just blame you and have you hunted down and your internal organs used to spice up a mutton sandwich for a carnivorous formorian.” Menthos responds

“You are a very disturbed individual, though I suppose with a gibbering mouther and a jackass for parents your density was doomed to wind up stirring the cesspool of nonconformity.” Eeyore replies

“Get a room you guys.” Haimish interjects

Xanthos excavates the ten feet to the surface and once breeching the ground and reaching the snow he slows down and slowly removes the snow. Steam rises from the bodies below him as he works to make the opening stable enough to allow them to exit and not fill in the hole with surrounding snow. Once done he peeks his head above the snow and spies three giants, one sleeping and two others are talking near an enormous tree that is covered in ice. Two dire bears are resting quietly near the sleeping giant.

Xanthos communicates the giant’s positions above to the party, Haimish nods and turns himself invisible and slips up the hole past Xanthos and onto the snow field above. Instantly shivering, Haimish fights off the cold and the urge to breathe trying not to give away his position but the small floating steam mephit-like breath coming from his mouth. Haimish reaches the sleeping giant as Doopa exits the hole with a flurry.

“Surprise! Doopa here for cake!” The ogre shouts

The two awake giants immediately turn and head for Doopa who is streaking across the snow field towards the east side of the valley. Xanthos exits next and heads out to help Haimish with his giant and the dire bears. Menthos and Eeyore remain in the hole waiting to see how well the plan goes off before tipping the giants to the fact that there are more enemies to battle.

Xanthos and Haimish savagely tear into the sleeping frost giant; the large cold man barely has enough time to rouse himself before his eyes close again forever. The sounds of battle stir the bears to action and they begin to charge towards the bard and shifter. Doopa’s chase to get the two awake giants away from their encampment works too well as the giants figure out Doopa’s plan before he does and they surround the barbarian before he can reach the valley wall. Surrounded a mere fifty feet from the hole, Doopa screams for his battle rage to take him to a painless place of an ogre smackdown paradise. Eeyore sees Doopa get surround and he rushes out of the hole along with his tiger to help the flanked ogre by flanking a giant of their own.

Menthos fires the occasional eldritch blast from his place of relative safety while observing the battle from the hole. The dire bears prove to be a much tougher encounter than a sleeping giant; they’ve managed to keep Xanthos and Haimish on the defensive. However the bard and shifter managed to get the bears turned around so that if they had to make run for it back to the hole they could do so without having to go through the bears to do it. While it was tense for a few moments, the party was clearly beating back the threat at this point and Menthos even halted his ranged support in order to watch the festivities from the hole.

Movement off the corner of his eye caught his attention; the tree seemed to shake a little, quickly turning on his warlock ability to see the unseen he stared out at the gigantic tree. The more he stared, the more he realized it seemed out of place for this valley, no other vegetation could be seen except for this tree and as quickly as the cold had descended there should be some clues here to plant life other than this tree. His supernatural sight saw nothing further than what his normal vision had detected. He decided the tree was a curiosity and nothing more and turned his attention back to the battles when the storm of ice blanketed the area.

Razor-sharp shards of water shredded the combatants. The dire bears were done in by this new threat; one of the remaining giants also fell to the assault, as did Eeyore. Doopa and the last giant staggered away from their engagement bloodied and confused.

“What was that?” Xanthos shouted

“I didn’t see. The weird guy is down though.” Menthos shouts back from his hole

Haimish and Xanthos rush to Doopa and Eeyore’s side as loud cracking sounds echoed off the valley walls, amplified by the falling snow the sound was nearly deafening.

“Enough of this, enough of mocking my plans!” a low noise that sounded almost like an intelligible friction noise.

“Who are you? The orc? Show yourself so that I may finish what you could not!” Xanthos shouts

“Xanthos, help me with Eeyore first.” Haimish huffed as he hauled the dying elf up and propped him against the downed giant.

A thunderous roar came from the tree as it hefted itself out of the snow and a huge root collection formed itself into a leg and foot as the thing stepped towards the party.

“Great tree spirit, we mean you no harm, we are here to stop these interlopers.” Xanthos apologizes

“It is you who are going to be stopped.” The treant answers

The tree shakes and more shards tear through the falling snow and slice across the battlefield. Haimish quickly dives onto Eeyore, while shoving a minor healing spell into the ranger, to protect him from the shards. Haimish’s back is torn to ribbons, his chain shirt offering no protection against the attack. Doopa falters as well slamming into the snow face first, his back studded with melting ice debris. Menthos was protected again this time from the attack, he peered out over to the party and watched as Xanthos tried to gather up Doopa as Haimish rolled off of Eeyore in obvious pain.

“Retreat!” Xanthos shouted

“There is no place for you to hide!” The treant answers

“Run to the hole now!” Menthos shouts as he leaps from the hole and intercedes himself between the party and the treant.

“I do not need a stationary target to make your sap drain away!” The treant calls and begins to shake

Menthos reaches into his pouch and pulls out the fire opal Statinisor gave him when they left Highcastle, the teifling throws the gem at the ice treant just as he sees the ice shards begin to stir loose from the treant’s branches.

Xanthos shoves Doopa through the hole and turns to help Haimish load Eeyore into it; his tiger companion had already fled inside the hole ahead of Doopa.

“Hurry!” Xanthos shouts expecting the cloud of icicles to hit any second.

The gem struck the tree just prior to it’s assault. The resulting explosion threw Menthos back off his feet a good ten feet and knocked over Xanthos and Haimish causing Eeyore to get dumped into the hole on his head. The heat from the fire melted everything within forty feet including the wax seals on Menthos’ potions. Deafened by the blast Menthos didn’t hear Xanthos shouting for him until after he saw the tree still stood, blackened and scarred but alive nonetheless.

The treant bellowed in pain and a new sound reverberated across the valley.

“Menthos!” Xanthos yelled for the fifth time, this time the warlock heard him and turned his head back to the hole.

Xanthos watches as Menthos pushed himself off the snow and stumble for towards the escape hole. Behind the teifling the treant agonized in pain and retreated back to it’s starting position, as it retreated and got smaller relative to Xanthos’ perception, a new figure seemed to rise in the background behind the treat. Cylindrical in shape the pillar rose to a height of thirty feet before bending at the top. A huge tooth filled maw pointed it’s hunger at the party.

“Frost worm! Run!” Xanthos shouted fear cracking his voice

Hairy Minotaur said:

* astute readers may find out his secret before the story hour reveals it *

Click to expand...

I guess I'm not too astute today. :\

Cylindrical in shape the pillar rose to a height of thirty feet before bending at the top. A huge tooth filled maw pointed it’s hunger at the party.

“Frost worm! Run!”

Click to expand...

Ironically, I just threw a Frost Worm at my group too. It's breath weapon was pretty nasty, taking one of my guys from full health to -5 in a single round, but when your party includes a PC who can breathe fire and your Worm has fire vulnerability... the conclusion is sort of foregone.

Jon Potter said:

I guess I'm not too astute today. :\



Ironically, I just threw a Frost Worm at my group too. It's breath weapon was pretty nasty, taking one of my guys from full health to -5 in a single round, but when your party includes a PC who can breathe fire and your Worm has fire vulnerability... the conclusion is sort of foregone.

Click to expand...

Apaxvn is a Greek term, I guess astute would be the wrong terminology, maybe "resourceful readers" would be better.

Actually it's not frost worm, but you could see why Xanthos would think so. (although it is a worm....)

Hairy Minotaur said:

Apaxvn is a Greek term, I guess astute would be the wrong terminology, maybe "resourceful readers" would be better.

Click to expand...

I guess I'm not all that resourceful either. Even with that nudge in the right direction, I come up wanting. My mad googling ain't all that, it would seem.

Jon Potter said:

I guess I'm not all that resourceful either. Even with that nudge in the right direction, I come up wanting. My mad googling ain't all that, it would seem.

Click to expand...

You're right, I used Babel Fish for the translation and it won't go backwards compatible. :\

So those of you who were stumped by what this term means, here's the spoiler:







spider

Lost and Found

The ice tree smirks as the grey shadowy pillar writhes and falls upon the freshly fallen snow. A thunderous grinding sound echoes off the walls of the valley as the gigantic worm makes its way across the snow. The remaining frost giant whips a rock at the hole's opening, missing Menthos but kicking up a cloud of snow and ice.

Haimish revives Doopa to consciousness and turns back to the rest of the party, “Doopa and I will get Eeyore back to Kindoras, can you two slow down the frost worm?”

Xanthos yells back, “I got this!”

Menthos tries to clear his eyes of debris and feels Xanthos shift next to him into something burning hot and disappear into the rock wall behind him. Still partially blinded Menthos yells out for Haimish, “Hold up, I’m coming!”

Menthos drops to the floor of the tunnel as Haimish finishes his haste spell. Doopa grabs Eeyore and the group races back towards Kindoras.

The worm hurtles itself into the ground around the hole and begins following the group, Xanthos circles back on his tunnel and drives his drill shaped head into the white worm’s skin. Steam immediately escapes from the blistering wound; Xanthos smells not burning worm however, but burnt decaying flesh. Transforming into a pixie Xanthos sees that the expected bleeding of the wound is not occurring; instead he spies the blackened flesh of frostbite.

“This isn’t a frost worm at all; it’s an undead purple worm.” Xanthos says aloud

Rolling it’s body so the wound is on top as it glides through the earth, the worm lets out a earsplitting trill. The sound pierces Xanthos’ nervous system and the paralyzed pixie drops to the ground behind the worm like discarded trash.

“We’re losing it.” Menthos says

“Maybe, but worm not lose us.” Doopa states

“We’re leading the worm right back to Kindoras!” Haimish exclaimed realizing what Doopa had clarified for Menthos

“We’ll kill it there then!” Menthos shouted back

“Are you crazy?” Haimish asks

“Yes, but that’s hardly common knowledge is it?” Menthos answers

The part speeds it’s way back to Kindoras, emerging from the ground and finishing the last two miles in a dead sprint. Guards along the ramparts spy the group running for the keep and as the party nears the wall the guards make out, “lower ropes, hurry!”

Ropes are thrown over the wall initially until Gorn reaches the wall to investigate. Two ropes are retracted by the time the party reaches the wall. Doopa grabs one of the remaining two ropes and begins to haul himself, with Eeyore slung over his shoulder, up the wall. Haimish and Menthos grab the other rope and begin to scale the wall as well. Once the heroes reach the top and argument ensues between them and Gorn. Realizing they don’t have time for this, Menthos shoves Doopa at the captain and tells the ogre to deal with Gorn. He then grabs Haimish’s arm and drags him away from the war of words.

“What?” Haimish inquires

“I need you to keep the locals distracted while the worm is dealt with.” Menthos tells the bard

“What are you going to do?” Haimish asks

“I’m going to go roast some nuts.” Menthos answers and pushes Haimish towards the gate of the keep.

Menthos turns and heads to Aleena’s quarters

Gorn and Doopa begin shoving each other as the worm erupts from the ground and rises in the evening sky high enough to fill the sky that normally brightens up the northern pass. The two sparring men quickly shove off each other. Gorn shouts out a call to arms as Doopa leaps from the ramparts and into the courtyard below.

Menthos kicks Aleena’s door in and announces the keep is under attack, “Where are the pyromancers?”

“They’re cowering in their room, something about the prophecy coming to pass.” Aleena answers

“Ugh, I don’t have time for this.” Menthos sighs and runs off to the priests’ rooms

Menthos finds the five priests huddled around a pool of molten slag starring blankly at it’s surface.

“You guys need to get out and man the tower, prove your worth to Kador.” Menthos demands

None of the priests even flinch

“Hey! Are you guys deaf? Get out there and get your butts in gear before I throw you in front of the rampaging worm myself!” Menthos commands again

“Don’t you see it? Even now the pool solidifies, the cold creeps along with same force of a glacier. The only winners in this fight are the steam mephitis.” A pyromancer answers

Beyond frustrated, Menthos utters a dark word as if that were the only logical response in this situation. Four of the priests turn their eyes to the now bestial looking teifling.

“Get up there and fry that worm or I will personally escort you to the plane of vacuum where you can suck on your own time.” Menthos orders

The four priests who turned towards the warlock race out into the courtyard and fly up to their posts atop their pentacle tower in the center of the keep.

Haimish grabs the three barbarian skalds he has met in the keep and walks them up to the gate as well, telling them that they have an important duty and the fate of the keep is in their hands. At first skeptical, the skalds are swayed after Haimish promises the story of a lifetime to those who cooperate and survive the task.

The bards set about corralling as many of the non-combative residents of the keep as possible to congregate near the keep’s gate, they then break into a vaudeville routine replete with cream pies, and amateur magic tricks. They crowd becomes fascinated with the act and turn their backs on the chaos quickly boiling up behind them.

The ground quakes as the massive worm plunges down upon the northern wall, collapsing it and crushing a dozen of the keep’s barbarian guards. Doopa rushes forward and bounces his club off the worm’s hide to seemingly no effect. Disheartened, Doopa shrugs off Eeyore’s helpless body and swings again, this time with two hands, however the result is the same.

The pyromancers begin unleashing searing lights and fireballs at Orcus’ tapeworm scorching it’s freeze dried flesh, the many bolts and arrows from the keep’s guards however merely serve to create a trip hazard in the courtyard as none of them succeed on penetrating the worm’s hide.

Menthos rushes to the remaining pyromancer and grabbing his wrists, forcibly turns the priest away from the pool, “You have a job to do, get up there and do it!” Menthos shouts shoving the pyromancer across the floor and sending him skidding towards the door.

“The sun dims in the icy grip of the one who is created in the presence of light. Your whole existence will come down to a single thought frozen in a place so cold emotions are cultivated to create ice sculptures of pure rage.” The pyromancer responds

“You’ve gone mad starring at that thing, now I’m only going to give you to the count of three before I put the fear of drowning in you.” Menthos replies

“Go ahead, I’m ready. The more soldiers Kador has the less likely he will be to abandon this cold place in space.” The priest answers

Realizing the intimidation wasn’t going anywhere; Menthos turns to leave the room. While passing by the pyromancer, the warlock kicks the priests in the jaw, “Pathetic, I’ve seen matches put up a better fight against the cold than you.”

“You mock me now, you do that while you can, for it will be I who is laughing at your frozen face contorted in a spastic conformity to the realization I was right all along.” The pyromancer shouts back

“You prophets are all the same, preaching fear and doom until you have every right to be afraid and then use that as an excuse to point out your own righteousness. I don’t live by your rules, nor do I wish to conform to them, I go out there and face my own fear and use it to shape my own destiny, not the one some drunken crazed grimlock saw fit to dictate to a magmin so that thousands of years later you could claim the end was coming as it has been for thousands of years.” Menthos ends his speech by eldritch blasting the pyromancer back towards the pool.

“Go look into your future and see Kador using you as seasoning for a soul kabob.” Menthos advises

Aleena joins Doopa in wasting their efforts on the undead hide of the worm, Haimish and the skalds move on to the comedy portion of their show. Gorn cuts off the archers from wasting anymore time on the worm and instead has them direct their attentions out to the north in case anything follows the worm into the keep.

As Menthos returns to the courtyard, the worm is returned to it’s eternal rest by a fireball. Doopa slumps against the burning carcass, trying to catch his breath. The pyromancers come down from their tower and are congratulated by Aleena and Gorn as saving the keep from certain disaster. Haimish and the skalds go another ten minutes of material before stopping and rejoining their respective groups.

Xanthos drifts into the keep several minutes later battered and bruised and looking rundown. The shifter glides down and states the party needs to come up with a better plan and that after he cleans up a bit they need to work that better plan out. Menthos asks Aleena to do a sending to Statinisor for him, specific instructions to be given after Xanthos blows his steam off. Eeyore is dragged off with the injured to be dealt with as needed in a makeshift infirmary.

An hour later Xanthos collects each of the party members and starts off the planning session, “We’ve been killing things for far too long to be doing it like a bunch of amateurs. Our reconnaissance is nonexistent; our teamwork is like an iron golem mounted on a giant rust monster.”

“What are you saying?” Haimish inquires

“Doopa not quit you!” The ogre speaks up

“We’re being beaten by better tactics, better planning, and better teamwork. If Hledra is to suffer a humiliating rout that causes that city to implode upon the vacuum of decapitated egos then we’re going to have to do it better than them, and for longer than we have been.” Xanthos explains

“Seems to me like the scouting out of the worm was your fault, I would think you would’ve noticed something that big laying around.” Menthos scoffs

“The tree summoned it; I could not have anticipated such a maneuver.” Xanthos answers

“Summoned it? Who summons an undead purple worm? That’s ridiculous.” Menthos replies

“Regardless of the current state of your own reality, I cannot not retro-change the aforementioned encounter to eliminate the presence of a worm of decay.” Xanthos responds

“Why we not chop tree down?” Doopa asks

“That’s crazy talk; you can’t chop a treant down.” Haimish argues

“That’s not crazy talk, this is crazy talk: A Christmas Tree summoned the mile long worm of death. Sounds like the world’s largest bottle of Holiday Tequila.” Menthos responds

“If you are finished, I will continue.” Xanthos states

“Oh please do, I want to hurry up and get to the part where we decorate the tree and watch the skies for flying pigs and my butt shoots forth a barrel of monkeys for your enjoyment.” Menthos replies

“You guys should stop worry about what your enemies plot to do to you, and start making them worry when you’ll attack next.” A recuperated Eeyore suggested

“Sound reasoning, but we can’t get near Hledra without bring about the ire of the orc warlord and the ogre mage.” Haimish answers

“Start smaller, head back out and deal with the tree now while it’s licking it’s wounds.” Eeyore advises

The group ponders this statement as Menthos leaves them to go convene with Aleena, reaching her quarters he has her help him pare down his message so it will all fit and be intelligible at the same time.

Please send me three more Opals; they’ll come in handy indeed. Clever man to know I would need them. I can send back other gifts.

“Here, take this. It’ll clear up your complexion problem. Whatever you said to third pentacle must have been poignant; he’s leaving to return to Highcastle in the morning to face execution for dereliction of duty.” Aleena reports

A scream pierces the relative calm of the evening. Menthos and Aleena race out to the courtyard to find the source of the commotion. Most of the keep has gathered around the side of the barracks looking forlorn at the ground. The rest of the party arrives just prior to Aleena and Menthos, they watch as smoky colored words form out of the shadows themselves.

I can strike from anywhere

The body of a human lies naked and flayed upon the snow, his body burnt a dark dusk color, his hair black and almost insubstantial. Xanthos approaches the body, as he does the words dissipate upon an unseen breeze. Looking down at the body, a pang of recognition glances across Xanthos’ memories and he realizes who he's looking at.

“Kessen?” Xanthos says aloud

The body laughs tragically, starting off high and loud and trailing off low and soft. Kessen’s eyes are bottom pits that seem to give Xanthos the feeling of falling.

“You. Cast speak with the dead.” Xanthos commands Aleena

Aleena is startled by the demand from the shifter and looks around at the faces of her charges, wondering if standing up to this insolence would prove beneficial or detrimental to her control of the keep. In the end she decides that allaying the fears of the keep would be more prudent. The high priest begins her casting only to end it frustrated.

“His soul no longer exists in the multiverse, it’s been destroyed I cannot contact it.” Aleena explains

“What about resurrection?” Xanthos inquires

“It would be useless as well, there’s no soul to put back in there. We would wind up with an uncontrollable golem at best or gate in a demon or something from the far realm at worst.” Aleena answers

The frustration showed across Xanthos’ face, he needed answers and he kept getting questions and these people here were only aggravating the issue.