The Acrimonious Adventurer Association

To new heights

Kessen approaches the temple and the priests shift so as to block his entrance as well.

"Is there a problem?" Kessen inquires

"Not at all, your teifling Kador friend over there just tried to get in and now here you are, trying the same thing." A priest replies

"Pfft. Please, I don't know who that guy was. I'm here for my friends." Kessen responds

"Move along then, there are no friends of yours within this temple's walls, and tell your teifling pal to quit walking along this street alone at night. Someone's liable to snatch him away from you, then you'd be all alone." The priest informs Kessen

Realizing it to be a moot point, Kessen relents and backs away from the temple. He turns and heads back to the Horned Devil and catches up to Menthos.

"What did you do?!" Kessen shouts as he grabs the teifling's arm and spins Menthos around to face him.

"I did nothing, I tried to get in to get Ham-like and Droopy but they wouldn't let me in either." Menthos explains

"They called you Kador, is that your real name?" Kessen demands

"No. That is the name of the God of Fire, who's temple I went to in order to help us out with these Shalimyrians. I guess the two temples don't get along?" Menthos replied

"Are you actually this stupid? What made you think they would get along?" Kessen decries

"I figured steam was good, and hot baths are good. Mr. Lyptus can't take a cold bath, otherwise I'd be known as Mr. Limptus and that would be one of those reverse nicknames I'd never live down." Menthos responds

"Is that all you're about? It occurs to me that you couldn't care less about anyone else nor about their feelings." Kessen states as he jabs an index finger into Menthos' shoulder.

"When you're planting a forest, it behooves you to check the soil for consistency, aeration, and nutrients. It's not my fault you couldn't get wet if I dropped you in the ocean and you swam back to shore." Menthos explains

"Now you're just talking out of you back end. What are you going to do about Haimish and Doopa?" Kessen demands

"Nothing, They're big boys, they can take care of themselves." Menthos answers and begins to walk away.

Kessen grabs Menthos again and this time throws him to the ground after spinning him around.

"Unacceptable!" Kessen shouts

"What do you want me to do? Fight a whole temple, start a religious war, disturb the peace and get thrown in jail?" Menthos replies calmly

Options run through Kessen's mind, none of them seemed possible or heroic. Frustrated Kessen kicks the street next to Menthos and screams silently at the heavens. Kessen leaves Menthos sitting there and heads off to find an inn with a remaining bed for the next few hours.

Menthos picks himself up and continues to the Horned Devil where he spends the rest of the night until dawn.

The sun rises, breakfast comes and goes, and about ten in the morning a rested Haimish awakes. Doopa stands ridged above Haimish, eyes red with dozens of strained blood vessels.

"Doopa turn." The ogre announce and collapses upon the cot. Haimish dives off just before Doopa's tired body lands. Almost instantly the ogre begins to snore, Haimish guesses he probably fell asleep during the fall. Grinning from the new pun, Haimish thanks his Shalimyr hosts and exits the building to find an anxious Turgar, Kessen, and Xanthos waiting for him.

"Where's Doopa?" Kessen asks

"Dead I hope." Turgar interjects

"Dead tired is more like it. He'll be sleeping for a while." Haimish answers

"What about you? Are you alright?" Kessen asks

"Never better, I got a great night's sleep." Haimish answers

"Odd, so nothing happened to you?" Turgar inquires

"Nope, not a thing. I don't know what's going on, but I don't think the temple has anything to do with it." Haimish states

Kessen then relates his encounter with a priest atop the roof across from the temple, and of Menthos' travel to the Kador temple and their inability to retrieve Haimish and Doopa following that.

"Certainly a mystery, one I plan on pondering right after I get that gem for Lord De' Lite." Haimish announces

"Hold up there speedy. You don't even know how to get in there." Kessen warns

"Nonsense, a good bribe goes a long ways to getting my into places." Haimish answers

"I still think we need to get someone else in there before you, you're so excited your liable to get in the door and start digging to get to the lower floors." Xanthos comments

"I agree, that place is probably crawling with magic, I wouldn't doubt that the very walls themselves weren't alive. Constantly watching, in fact the more I think about, the more this sounds like an elaborate suicide attempt." Turgar offers

"Lord De' Lite wouldn't send me to my death, he told me I had potential and that he had faith in my abilities. Why else would he give me the bribe money upfront to pay my way in?" Haimish relates

"Maybe you should spend it on a couple of slaves and send them instead. At least you'd still be alive?" Kessen asks

"No, It must be me. I will do it alone if I have to." Haimish states

"Why don't you let Xanthos try his plan and you go scope out that tavern we passed about a block north of the school and see if anyone in there knows anything. Maybe you could get a job singing and get some contacts that way?" Kessen implores

Haimish ponders that plan for a moment, "Okay, but let me know if you find anything out." Haimish points to Xanthos

Haimish starts off to The Scholar's Inn, Kessen turns to Turgar, "Maybe you should go with him and keep him out of trouble?"

Turgar agrees and follows the bard off to the inn.

"Good thinking scout. Brilliant." Xanthos smacks Kessen's shoulder

"Yeah, all we have to do now is get you inside." Kessen answered

Kessen plops himself down on the street corner at an angle so as to see the entire side of the School of Ancient Knowledge that had the only structure that resembled an entrance.

"Psst, what are you doing?" a familiar voice whispered in Kessen's ear, however he was hoping he was delusional.

"Hey." the voice called out whilst poking the human in the head, Kessen looked up at his worst fears as Menthos stood above him.

"Get lost." Kessen's reply came

"Already played that. I won too, so the challenge just isn't there for me anymore." Menthos answers

"You'll just foul this up, go find a prostitute who takes charity cases, I don't care what you do just get out of here." Kessen spits through clenched teeth.

"Fine." Menthos replies, he looks up and sees a small child heading up the couple of steps to the entrance of the School of Ancient Magic.

"Hey, what's that kid doing? You see that Kessen?" Menthos asks while shoving Kessen's shoulder and pointing out the child to him.

"Go away!" Kessen replies

Perturbed, Menthos brushes away Kessen and starts off towards the child, "If Kessen doesn't want a closer look, then I'll take it. Maybe the kid's got a secret password to get in?"

"@#%*" Kessen curses as Menthos trots off towards the entrance to the school. Kessen springs up from his sitting position and sprints after Menthos

As soon as Xanthos reached the first step, he could feel the weight of a dozen stares behind him as passersby stopped to view in wonderment this small boy as he climbed the steps to the School of Ancient Knowledge. He reached the landing and the immense stone door stood before him, mocking his stature the way a giant does to most living things. Xanthos felt compelled to turn around and look the gawking crowd in the face, he steeled his nerves however and reached for the door and rapped on it softly. Then returned his hand to his side, the weight of the eyes behind him lifted and Xanthos felt easier, though still not wanting to turn around to see why people had suddenly stopped watching him now.

The stopped crowd in front of the school quickly turned their attention from the oddity of a small poor boy at the base of the School of Ancient Knowledge to the commotion just to the left of the entrance as a human spear tackled a teifling to the ground.

"I told you to get out of here!" Kessen shouts as both men tumble to the ground

Startled and his breath pounded out of him, Menthos tries to turn on his back to see who or what just attacked him. Kessen's voice breaks through his pain though and anger begins to stir within the teifling.

Kessen punches the back of Menthos' head while wrapping his arm around the teifling's left leg to help pin him to the ground.

"Ack! Look sir, I told you I wasn't into your sick sexual games!" Menthos yells, the gathered crowd of onlookers gasp at the accusation and Kessen pauses his beaten to ponder Menthos' words.

The lull in the attack gives Menthos the advantage as he pulls out a miniature mace and jabs it into Kessen's face. Kessen falls backwards off of Menthos, grabbing his face and wiping away the tears from his watering eyes.

"What was that?! It stings. I can't see." Kessen cries

"Just a little mace, extra spicy." Menthos answers

"What is it you want little boy!" A voice booms from the other side of the door.

"Please sir, I am homeless and have no money. I was wondering if there is anything I could clean for you. Maybe a floor or hallway. I am a good scrubber." Xanthos replies

"There's no need for that. Please be gone!" The voice booms back in Xanthos' head.

Wincing from the mental reverberations, Xanthos knocks again, "Please I would do anything. You wouldn't even have to pay me, you could view my work when I am through and judge for yourself."

Nothing comes into his head, just when Xanthos was ready to give up, "There is one thing you could do."

"Oh anything sir!" Xanthos enthusiastically answers

Xanthos stands ready to have the door open, only he is whisked from the door by a stone hand. Gathering his wits about himself, Xanthos realizes that one of the stone gargoyles from the roof has swooped down and plucked him from the front door.

The gargoyle deposits Xanthos on the roof and then takes off down the back alley of the school, Xanthos races to the edge and peers over to see the gargoyle disappear through an open door in the back alley.

"You may commence scrubbing the gargoyles and roof of pigeon dung." The voice returns

Xanthos looks around for a bucket and brush but sees none, "I will need a brush and some water sir."

The gargoyle returns through the door it entered carrying the supplies Xanthos needs to complete his job. The stone creature dumps the supplies next to Xanthos and then returns to its post, watching the world below the school.

On second thought just kill me now

Haimish and Turgar enter the dark and smoky Scholar's Inn, Haimish advances to the bar and asks for the owner. A few moments later a barrel chested bald figure strides up to the bard and eases down onto the barstool next to Haimish.

"Well, what do you want?" The man asks

Turgar takes the seat on the opposite side of the man.

"Are you the owner?" Haimish inquires

"Hairy two-fisted is my name. Greatest barroom brawler this side of the Conqueror's River." The man announces

"Doesn't ring a bell. Anyway, do you get any guests from the School of Ancient knowledge in here?" Haimish asks

His pride hurt, Hairy scrunches up his face in a feign attempt at pain, "Maybe, as you should have gathered from entering my establishment, I don't require a background check to order an ale."

"Maybe you've seen some patrons with robes on or obvious spellcasters?" Haimish presses

"We get all kinds here. That troll over there ain't wearing nothing, does that make him a barbarian or stupid, or both?" Hairy laughs as he finishes his comment

"Perhaps I could hang out here and view the patrons for a while? I'm on a secret mission for Lord De' Lite." Haimish replies

"We don't serve Afternoon Delights here, afraid you'll have to look elsewhere for that, I keep a clean business." Hairy answers

Confusion sweeps over Haimish as Hairy's meaning gets lost, "Um, I wasn't talking about a drink."

"I definitely can't help you there then, if you ain't drinking, you ain't staying." Hairy explains

"Do you have bard? Maybe I could sing every night for the chance to mingle instead of drinking?" Haimish asks

"Hmm, I don't have any regular entertainment. Let me hear what you got." Hairy answers


The palm of my hand
Carries the weight of my land
For the time to reap
Makes my wife weep
Thoughts I have but nary
On why I got married
But at least I get to keep
The gold in my sleep

Turgar begins clapping enthusiastically, "That was wonderful sir, here please accept this meager donation to your further studies." Turgar then hands Haimish ten gold crowns and wanders out the exit still cheering Haimish on.

"Damn ogres." Hairy spits, "Well, at least it rhymed, though I got no idea what the heck you were talking about. I guess you'll do, you play an instrument?"

"Yes, my voice. It is an instrument upon which I guide the chair of my waterfall towards the light of sharing." Haimish replies

"Whatever drugs you're on now, be sure they're out of your system tonight son." Hairy states shaking his head

"I would never stoop to such a position of indifference as to resign control of my mental faculties." Haimish begins to reply

"Shut up. I'll give you room number twelve. Be here promptly at nine each night and as long as you're brining in more money with your singing than if you weren't here then you can stay for free. You can keep all tips, good luck with that, and no songs about bald guys." Hairy explains

Haimish agrees and shakes his hand, then leaves to go tell the others his good news. He finds Turgar looking over Kessen, while a bruised and bloody Menthos dabs his lips with a damp cloth.

"What happened to you guys?" Haimish asks

"Kessen got a little too frisky." Menthos answered

"As soon as you're outside these city walls, I'll inject you with twenty pounds of iron arrowheads." Kessen retorts

"Just as long as you don't try to inject me with whatever it was your were trying with earlier." Menthos responds

"Enough! Where's Xanthos?" Haimish shouts

Kessen points to the School of Ancient Knowledge.

"He got in? That's great! Maybe I can complete my job tonight then? Haimish clapped

"I assume he got in. Jack-ass over there caused me to lose sight of Xanthos for a moment." Kessen explains

"Well, let me know if you need me then, I've got to go sleep this off. Otherwise the ladies aren't going to want to look upon this tiefling." Menthos states and heads off to find an inn

"Jerk. I hope he gets run over by a carcass wagon on it's way to the cemetery." Kessen relates

The trio wait until nearly sundown, before Kessen spots the form of a descending gargoyle grasping the form of a small child in it's claws. The gargoyle swoops within a couple of feet of the entrance and drops it's payload onto the steps, then soars back to the roof.

Xanthos dusts himself off and spotting the rest of the party, heads over to their location.

"Did you get inside?" Haimish asks excitedly

"Hardly, although I did view the back doors being used by the gargoyles. However, that as close as I came to seeing the inside of the structure." Xanthos shrugs

Haimish relates to Xanthos about the free room and the party agrees to come to watch Haimish sing and then turn in for the evening.

Haimish performs a litany of tunes his parents used to sing to him, he manages a three gold crown tip. Once getting off stage he mingles with the drinking crowd, but spots no one he could reasonably state they might be from the school. Disappointed, he turns in as well for the evening.

"Wake up Haimish." An unfamiliar voice sounded

Haimish slowly opened his tired eyes and viewed the dark room, the rest of the party (minus Doopa and Menthos) still lay asleep on the floor.

"Who's there?" the sound came not from his mouth, but resonated within his mind

"I come from the School of Ancient Knowledge, and I can help you."

Haimish's eyes adjusted to the dim light and saw four figures standing at the foot of his bed. The two outer figures wore robes of green with silver sewn throughout the robe in a spell-like runic design. They were both young men, maybe in their mid-twenties, they each held an open book in their hands as they studied Haimish, writing notes in the book every so often.

Next was an elderly man, perhaps in his seventies. Thin white strands of hair seemed to blow upon a non-existent breeze. This man's robes were white, and seemed to glow like moonlight upon snow. It gave the room a faint bluish tinge to it. He held up a strange staff with many circle within circles at it's head. The head was situated in front of the face of the fourth man.

The fourth man had robes that appeared to be a void, blacker than black, the robes seemed to draw light into them. So that the faint glow of a street candle from the window appeared to slide into the robes and disappear. Even the glow from the elderly man's robes appeared to be slowly swallowed by the vacuum of space this man's robes were made of. His face was shrouded by a hood, only his chin was visible and it appeared to be made of rack with numerous arcane symbols carved into it.

"You're going to help me get the Soul Gem for Lord De' Lite?" Haimish asked

"No, and his name is not Lord De' Lite, it is Kalen and he died over eight hundred years ago." The hooded man spoke

"I'm not following you, the guy I talked to was alive and doing quite well." Haimish retorts

"Yes, he is doing quite well, for the undead. Kalen is an ancient vampire and he has dominated you into retrieving the Soul Gem for him."

"Dominated? I don't feel any different. Wait, now I really don't want to get this gem." Haimish felt no desire to get the gem now

"That's because we have removed that state from you, we can put it back if you wish."

"No, that's quite okay. This is much better thank you. Wait, what's the catch?" Haimish wondered

"Catch?"

"Yeah, the catch. Wizards don't routinely show up in inn rooms un-dominating people for the hell of it, and then tell them they have a powerful vampire coming after them." Haimish relates

"Astute you are, yes we do require a service from you. One that requires no thievery or combat of any kind."

"Okay so far, what do I have to do?" Haimish asks

"Kalen will be at Lord Palmere's party next week. We need you to slip this into Kalen's drink." A vial of brilliant light emerged from within the void robe and hovered in front of Haimish

"A little bright don't you think?" Haimish said as he reached out to grab the small vial. Pain erupted in his fingertips as it felt as though Haimish had touched the sun itself

"Hot as well." The hooded man continued "It is liquid sunlight, deadly to vampires, or at least we hope it is. It's nature makes it hard for lab experiments to verify."

"Do I have a choice?" Haimish asked

"Certainly, we will return you to your dominated state and you can perish within our cellar."

Haimish thought it over, more so for time than any real thinking as he knew what the only option could be.

"Okay, I'll do it." Haimish said as he lowered his head, upon raising it again, the quartet of wizards had vanished and laying on the blankets in front of Haimish was the vial, giving off enough light to make it seem as though there was no ceiling and the sun was directly overhead.

"Hey, close the shades! Some of us are trying to sleep!" Turgar yelled

Haimish knew he just traded one impossible job for another.

Menthos snored loudly as his body worked to undo the swelling and bleeding that Kessen had caused. His sleeping eyes caught glimpses of a roaring fire, the soft glow bathed him in it's warmth, in fact he was pretty warm now that he though about it. It comforted him and reminded Menthos of the fire baths his father would give he and his brother when they were younger, before his father returned to hell.

Menthos would've been at peace and slept soundly had it not been for the smell of smoke that wafted to his nose. Awaking with a jump, Menthos found his entire bed was on fire. Rolling off the bed and out of the flames to the floor, Menthos watched as the flames diminished and snuffed themselves out. The tiefling then sensed the presence of another in his room.

"We need to talk." Helle's voice sounded like the fire Menthos just escaped from.

Lets twist again

"What do you want?" Menthos asks incredulously

"Your traveling companion, Haimish, he now possesses an item of great interest to Kador. We need you to get it for us." Helle says with fervor

"What are you talking about? I thought he was taking me with him inside the school? That bastard cut me out of the profits. On second thought, it probably that weasel Kessen." Menthos states

"You had planned on getting in the School of Ancient Knowledge? For what purpose?" Helle Inquires

"Haimish fell in love with some lord who talked him up enough into getting a gem for him in the cellars of the school. Paid him good upfront for it too." Menthos relates

"What was this lord's name?" Helle asks

"Lord D' Light I think, it was a funny name for someone with enough money to change it." Menthos answers

"That name is unfamiliar to me, I shall have to research it. In the meantime, we do not believe Haimish entered the school, the item was brought to him this evening." Helle divulges

"So, we can't you go ask him yourself? What do you need me for?" Menthos inquires

"Yes, our usual crusade is to burn down the building and sift through the ashes for the item we seek. Unfortunately in this case overt knowledge of our involvement in procuring this item is not something we wish to afford at this point." Helle explains

"You're not telling me anything here. If you want it so bad, then go ask him for it, I'm sure he'd give it up, especially if you said please." Menthos argues

"If I ask him for it, he will not survive to tell you about our meeting." Helle says with passion

"I'm still failing to see where you need me to get involved in some way, he doesn't like me anyway, his death neither pushes away nor draws me closer to world domination. Kill the guy for all I care." Menthos squelches

"Yesterday, you cared so much that you delivered to us news of the Shalimyrians involvement in kidnappings, because your friend was inside that dank place. Today you care nothing, your whims are like a candle flame, dim and easily snuffed out." Helle states

"Don't try any of your intimidation crap on me, my father ...." Menthos begins, but is cut off

"Was a demon of small import, a dretch among balors not worthy of a summoning from an initiate wizard." Helle finishes

"How is it you presume to know anything about me?" Menthos retorts, standing up from his seated position on the bed.

"I presume nothing, your lineage is written all over your attitude. It smolders within you and yet you refuse to let that fire fuel your engine. You could be much more than what your father left you as, yet your only passion is in not having any. You have until next sun up to deliver the item to me, or we'll see just how much you don't care." Helle spoke. Menthos clenched his fists and readied a barbed reply, only to have Helle speak a single word and vanish.

Menthos kicked his bed several times until the skin on his shin was bludgeoned raw. Anger seethed within him, and that is what finally calmed him down. Was he angry at Helle for embarrassing him, or was he angry at Haimish for making his life difficult now?

Haimish tried several times to shade the vial from not giving off it's blinding light, however every piece of cloth he used eventually began to smolder and he was afraid it would catch fire. Afraid of waking his companions, he left them there to sleep. Tucking the vial into his helmet and covering the openings with his cloak, he fled to the street and started walking trying to come up with some way to store this item before it killed him.

"Haimish!" A low booming voice called out

Looking up, Haimish saw the broad shoulders of Doopa lumbering towards him. Haimish waved and the ogre pressed on towards Haimish.

"Doopa, feel much better after getting sleep in house that smelled like rain." the ogre commented

"I'm glad, I've got a room at the Scholar's Inn just up the road, everybody else is there, except Menthos I don't know where he is." Haimish relates

"Right behind you." Menthos answers

Startled, Haimish wheels around to face Menthos as Doopa laughs at Haimish's flinching.

"You scared me, what brings you out this late at night?" Haimish asks

"You, seems like you got a present tonight. You weren't thinking of not sharing were you?" Menthos questions

"Oh! Doopa like presents. What did Haimish get?" the ogre asks

"How do you know anything about this?" Haimish asks while showing the covered helmet.

"I am half immortal, I have abilities beyond your most exhaustive comprehension. May I see the item?" Menthos asks

"No, it'll burn your eyes blind with the light it gives off, heck you can't even hold it, it'll burn right through your hands." Haimish explains

"Haimish got Poison Sumac as gift? That very strange gift to give, Doopa would take it back and give to giver." Doopa shares

"Why would the wizard bookworms give you something you couldn't use? Seems stupid to me, likely a bad prank on their part. I'll wager that they're up there betting on when you uncover the item in the heart of the city and illuminate the whole place." Menthos relates

"Apparently I was dominated by a vampire into trying to steal the Soul Gem, the school took care of the domination but in a quid pro quo way. Now I'm stuck with this item I have to use to kill the vampire with, and I can't hold it!" Haimish exasperates

"Let me try." Menthos asks

Dubious to the teifling's intentions, Haimish hesitates, "Why? What do you want it for?"

"To prove that I can hold it for one, and to prove this item even exists for starters." Menthos explains

Haimish holds out his helmet to Menthos, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

Menthos reaches in and grasps the small vial, while it is hot in his hand, it fails to burn his fire resistant skin.

"It doesn't burn you?" Haimish found it hard to believe

"Doopa want a turn!" The ogre announces as he reaches his hand into the helmet and closes his fist around Menthos' hand

"Ow! That hot! That is bad shaman magic, Doopa will destroy for Haimish, put thing on ground and Doopa will smash!" The ogre shouts

"That won't be necessary." Menthos states as he wraps up the vial in Haimish's cloak and holds it in his hand, "Haimish, I don't like unenlightenment. Something stinks here and it's not the ogre."

Doopa gave a look of dumbfoundment as he sniffed his armpits.

"What do you mean?" Haimish asks

Menthos held the item in his palm, he thought how easy it would be to walk away and give it to Helle and be done with it. Then he thought of keeping the item for himself, a little leverage in case he needed it. His hesitation became noticeable and Haimish reached out to take the item back from Menthos. Menthos saw the hand reach out, his brain willed for his arm to move away from Haimish, but he was too slow as the bard reclaimed the vial.

"Tell me everything the wizard said, and then I'll tell you what I know, and together we'll figure out what's going on here." Menthos sighed and hung his head.

Haimish smiled and gladly relayed the night's conversation with the four wizards from the School of Ancient Knowledge, then Menthos told Haimish about Helle and his wanting of the item, making sure to leave out the family heritage parts.

"Doopa not get it." The ogre drooled as his slacked jaw tried to suck up the dripping saliva from his mouth. It would soon be dawn and the smells of freshly baking bread was filling the streets

"That's probably for the best, the less who know the less chance we'll get squashed." Haimish tells the ogre

Menthos and Haimish part ways, Haimish leads the ogre back to the Scholar's Inn with instructions to tell the rest of the party that he'll be back soon. Menthos heads east and then north as he makes his way through the bustle of Caravan Street and the many street vendors lining the street. The looming silhouette of the Courts of Maal at the far end of Caravan Street played against the very nature of Menthos, silently he wished for a safe place such as that to crawl into.

After dropping Doopa off, Haimish approached the School of Ancient Knowledge. Advancing up the entrance steps, he banged on the door in the most obnoxious way he could think off.

"Who invades the sanctity our peace?" a voice booms through Haimish's head

"Tell the void robed guy that Haimish is here to see him, I have few questions." Haimish boasts

"There is no one here by that description, now leave!" The voice echoes in Haimish's head

"Okay then, but tell him I'm going to give his little present to the Kadorians. They had a much better offer." Haimish states and turns to walk away.

He gets four steps into the street when he is snatched from the ground by a pair of stony claws. The gargoyle circles up and over the school and into the back alley. The gargoyle races to the ground at a breakneck speed. For a second or two, Haimish thought the gargoyle was sent to kill him, but the creature pulls up at the last moment and flies through an open door and darkened archway. Instantly Haimish is transported to the most opulent room he has ever seen or heard about. The gargoyle dumps it's cargo onto the floor and turns to retrace it's flight path through the only exit visible in the room.

"Am I to guess that you're having some sort of conscience dilemma?" the hooded man speaks

"Hardly. I've already been threatened just for having your potion, some church. Apparently they knew who to bribe in your organization to figure out what I've got." Haimish accuses

"Ah the bitter Kadors, that will certainly complicate things for you. You don't think they'd let the Temple of Tinel show them up do you? I already know you have the item still, and I don't believe you'd give it to them. You're coming here was out of fear, you fear the Kadors, whereas we couldn't care less about their religious fire. All you have to do is use the item as instructed and everything will play out for you magical ways." The hooded man answers

"Is that a threat or a bribe?" Haimish inquires

"It's a promise, complete the task and I shall reward you with an item from our vast treasury worthy of your deeds." The hooded man speaks

"Well, you didn't mention that part last night. I'm starting to warm to your job, although I really need the name of a good glass blower, I can't keep running through clothes like this." Haimish says as he holds up the smoldering corpse of his once fine cloak.

The hooded man turns his head to the green robed man to his right and whispers something in a language Haimish had not heard before. The green robed man goes to a Darkwood desk and procures a parchment from a drawer. He inks a few lines of writing on it and then replaces the ink pen and walks to Haimish parchment first.

"This is the name of a reputable glass blower, although I fail to see your need for him. The only other means of transport we could find was to encase it in an ever-regenerating crystal from the demi-plane of mineral." The hooded man replies

"Ah, Now I see, I have to perform secret legerdemain with a white hot glowing object in a room full of witnesses, while fighting off jealous priests who will be trying to steal it from me. That should be fun. Thanks for the recommendation nonetheless." Haimish retorts

"I never said this would be like feeding a baby, if you know where Kalen is staying feel free to confront him there." With that, Haimish is grabbed by the gargoyle once again and dragged through the exit to the room, he has the sensation of falling and then steps out into the back alley of the school. A small gold coin lies on the ground in front of him.

"When the deed is done, return through the doorway behind you with the coin in your outstretched left hand. That is the only way to reach me again." The hooded man's voice rings inside Haimish's head.

"I want to know what the vial is supposed to do. The bookworms state it's to kill a vampire, I'm not going to get this thing from Haimish unless I know why I have to risk me neck for it." Menthos demands

"A fair request, so I shall tell you. About fifteen months ago, the School of Ancient Knowledge came to our temple to procure our services in creating an item that would house a portion of the sun's power in a portable container. Intrigued by their offer, we listened instead of brandishing them blasphemers and igniting their souls with actual power from the sun." Helle starts

"You can skip all the we're the most sovereign crap and just stick with the facts." Menthos replies

"The payment they offered was not nearly enough for what we considered a sacred item, therefore no deal was brokered. The school however was not deterred and they went to the Tinels instead, there they found a willing abettor and the Tinels set out to take the secrets of the sun and give them to the School of Ancient Knowledge. The item was completed three weeks ago and we have been scrying it after having learned of it's manufacture only this week." Helle relates

"So that's what the roasting of the priestess of Tinel was for?" Menthos fathoms

"You read between the lines well. This item cannot be allowed to endure, if word got out that the Tinels could replicate and domain from any deity they wished, then what purpose would our faith serve? The Temple of Tinel would be become your one-stop-shop for all your religious needs." Helle related

Menthos pondered this a moment, "What if I were to give you a demonstration of this item? A nearly personal one, such that only you would know what was actually transpiring?" Menthos asked

"That may be acceptable, what are your conditions?" Helle inquires

"We're going to use it to destroy a vampire in nine days. You can get to see it up close." Menthos states

"We are not allowed, nor were we invited to Lord Palmere's party." Helle responds

"Yeah? Can't imagine why. Just leave that part up to me, if I can get you into the party, will you leave Haimish alone until then?" Menthos asked

"Agreed. Thank you for coming to me with this offer. I have someone who would like to meet you." Helle states

"It's not my dad is it?" Menthos asks

"No, his name is Statinistor and he is the highest ranking priest in the Church of Kador on this plane. He has told me he sees great things in your future." Helle corrects

"Really? I could have told you that." Menthos comments and is led away by Helle

Finding the password

Haimish returned to the Scholar's Inn and explained to the rest of the group what had gone on all night and to show off the vial of liquid sunlight.

"What does Menthos gain by helping you?" Kessen inquired

"I don't believe anything." Haimish replied

"I don't believe that for one second, I bet he's in the back pocket of the Kadors. That's why I never bothered to get into religion, wipe away the varnish and they're just like every other organization, all about control." Kessen offers

"Doopa have religion, Doopa's tribe fell from heavens after winning freedom from giants." The ogre says proudly

"Too bad when you fell you all landed on your heads, permanently contorting your skulls into inhospitable places to house a brain." Turgar counters

"I don't want to think about conspiracies and plots right now, I want to get out of the city for a while. I need to hone up some of my skills before I try to bluff a vampire with sunlight." Haimish relates

"Where would you go to do that?" Xanthos asks

"How about the Mermist? It's close and along the edge you find a few scouting lizardmen, you can practice sneaking up on them while we practice killing them." Kessen suggests

"That might be a good plan." Haimish agrees

"I think I should stay here, I do not want to upset the balance on nature in the swamp. The Mermist lies next to the Silverwood Valley, my homeland, and I can ill afford to bring about vengeance upon my family if the Mermist lizardmen see a centaur involved." Xanthos states

"We'll wait until they attack and we'll make sure they're all dead and buried before moving on." Kessen says

"I am not sure that would be better." Xanthos replies

Xanthos packs anyway along with the rest of the group as they wait for Menthos to return. They grow restless and Kessen offers to go drag him back from the temple when Menthos finally arrives bearing a stripped holly branch in his left hand.

"Eek! What did you do to the tree?" Xanthos asks accusingly

"Statinistor told me if I was ever in distress, to strip a holly branch and carry it forth in my left hand. Someone would be along shortly to assist me. I'm just trying it out to see if it works." Menthos answers

"Does it work?" Haimish asks

"I don't think so, all I found was you guys." Menthos responds

"Let's get going before we lose daylight." Kessen presses, "and you're with me teifling, I don't want you wandering out of my light of sight."

"It warms my heart so to know of your fondness for me, shall we consummate this relationship now or once you get me alone in the woods?" Menthos answers

Kessen shoves Menthos out the door as the rest of the group follows, it takes an hour to wind through the streets and exit the city, Kessen leads them along a well worn hunting path heading west from Highcastle for about two hours before the party notices the group getting less firm and the grass begins to get extremely wet, as though it was laden with dew.

"Be on the lookout, the lizardmen like encroaching the swamp onto farmland and cities, I expect to see a few scouting parties soon." Kessen states

The party reaches the point where standing water is the norm and good sized mud hills about four feet high start to dominate the landscape.

"This is where the lizardmen would most likely ambush from, those mud hills are built with shallow pools behind them so that the lizardmen can spring up unseen as people pass through the swamp. Very effective if you don't know to look for them." Kessen relates

"How does one combat that?" Xanthos inquires

"With these." Kessen reaches into a belt pouch and withdraws a few small yellow pellets. He transfers all but one into his left hand and then tosses the remaining one over a small mud hill. The sound of splashing water coincides with a brilliant flash of light.

"Flash pellets, how amateur." Menthos states

"They'll keep you alive long enough for me to kill you." Kessen retorts

"Ooh, can hardly wait. You keep promising me but I'm not seeing any action." Menthos replies

Haimish and Turgar turn around to pull apart the two warring men, as a blowgun dart whizzes into the shoulder of Doopa.

"Ow, Someone shot Doopa with big splinter!" The ogre roars

The fighting quiets down as another dart ricochets off of Haimish's shield.

"We're under attack, that way!" Kessen yells and points off to the left

Doopa charges in the direction of Kessen's finger and crests a mud hill looking for the offenders, the rest of the party spreads out trying to get a better look at where the attack is coming from.

"So much for being sneaky." Haimish laments

A lizardman raises his head above the water line in front of the hill Doopa is on and blows a dart into the thigh of Kessen.

"Argh! There, behind you Doopa!" Kessen yells and crouches to the ground as the lizardman disappears below the surface of the water.

Doopa leaps off the mud hill and lands in waist deep pit filled with water, a startled lizardman rises next to Doopa, who promptly brings his club down on the creature's head, crushing it's neck and sending it crashing back into the pit.

"Doopa like whack a mole game!" The ogre gleefully shouts

After a few moments and no further lizardmen surface, a dejected Doopa reaches below him and feels around for another lizardman. He grabs a hold of a leather strap and yanks the stunned lizardman out of the water. A prepared and waiting volley of attacks are launched into the quickly turning corpse.

Disappointed at not being able to off the one he pulled from the water, Doopa searches again but only finds the dead one he killed. Nonetheless he hauls up that body and tosses it towards the party. Five arrows and an eldritch blast are wasted on the dead carcass as it flops unceremoniously on the ground weighted down with extra iron and wood.

Doopa stands there chuckling at the party's response, as he retrieves the other lizardman's body and begins to rummage through it's belongings. Kessen obtains the blowgun and the remaining darts from the one in front of him as Turgar finds a few copper pieces but nothing else.

"Nothing else? Not even a dagger?" Haimish asks

"No, usually it's not needed. The poisoned darts do the trick and there's no need for hand-to-hand combat, if it comes to that they just flee and hope you follow them while they shoot you again with their darts." Kessen explains

Mostly uninjured the party presses on, but finds no more takers for their practice, the sun begins to slip in the western sky.

"I need to start heading back to town, I've got a gig in a few hours." Haimish advises

"We're a bit far north of the city, we can either head due east and link up with the King's Road into Highcastle, or we can take the overland route. Both will take about the same amount of time." Kessen advises

"I'd like to take the road, I need to dry out a bit and don't want to go singing smelling like I've been sleeping in the fields all day." Haimish answers

The party reaches the road in due time and begins their journey south. The road is bordered by tall grass to either side, rising as high as five feet in some places, after a few hundred feet Kessen holds his hand up to stop the group.

Sniffing the air and looking about Kessen whispers, "We're being stalked."

"Yeah, by your over-active imagination." Menthos counters

Kessen spots the moving grass up ahead and to the right of the road, he advances up the road to be parallel with the movement and unleashes an arrow into the grass. A shout of pain and a flurry of motion erupt from the grass as six bandits rear up and fire into Kessen, nearly downing the scout.

Doopa charges into the fray, crashing his club through the gathering of men like a bowling ball, Turgar activates his vigor aura and moves up to keep Kessen within thirty feet of him. Haimish breaks into a song of encouragement.

Our team is dynamite
Our team is dynamite
tick tick tick tick
BOOM dynamite
BOOM dynamite

Xanthos heads off into the tall grass behind Doopa, but Menthos hesitates, speculating that the rest of the party has the bandits well in hand. He scans the opposite side of the road and he catches a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye, spinning around he faces more bandits. This group however has an obvious spellcaster as well as archers in chain shirts and with the look of competency in their eyes.

"Flanked!" Haimish yells out as see noticed Menthos did not advance and turned to see what his problem was and noticed the line of attackers behind them.

Three arrows shot into the chest of Haimish as he finished his shout, dropping the bard prone and bleeding badly from severe chest wounds. Xanthos halts his advance behind Doopa and switches to take a wide circle back towards the new threat. Doopa continues to pound away at the frightened bandits in the grass, his massive club hiding the sun just before he crams two-hundred pounds of wood into their skulls.

Kessen rips out the arrow piercing his side and turns to fire a shot at the attackers behind the party, hitting the far right one in the shoulder. Menthos watches as the spellcaster begins the somatic portion of a spell, he raises his hand to throw an eldritch blast into the mage but miss aims and the blast kicks up a cloud of dirt in front of the spellcaster.

"They've got spell resistance!" Menthos shouts as the mage completes his spell and Turgar is over come with fatigued and drops down to sleep in the middle of the road.

Doopa finishes off the last of the bandits he was attacking and turns to face the new threat, Kessen hobbles up to Haimish and shoves a goodberry into his mouth. While not enough to bring the bard to consciousness, it does stop the flow of blood from his chest.

Outnumbered six to one, Menthos reviewed his options. Flee or fight, he decided to hold up the holly branch in hopes someone would come to his aid. The spellcaster paused as the sight of Menthos holding the branch up perplexed him, at first he thought the teifling was casting a spell but he could detect no other components of a spell, then he though the teifling had activated a magic item, but it appeared to do nothing.

"Surrender now, and we'll let you live." The spellcaster announced

"Well, you'll be blind and deaf, but alive nonetheless." the archer next to the mage spoke

"I chose option C." Menthos replied and willed the magic ring he found in the Duergar Ale Chute to activate while he gave the opposing wizard the universal "peace" sign with his finger.

Brilliantly colored hues of light issued forth from the ring, dazzling all six bandits. The rest of the party took a moment to realize what had transpired, once they saw the bandits staring off into space they attacked en masse and quickly killed their dazed foes.

As Menthos looted the dead mage's body, Xanthos tended to the downed Haimish, filling him with enough healing magic to make him nearly as good as new. After receiving a brief recollection of the battle's events, Haimish went to thank Menthos personally, and found the teifling holding up a silvered thin stick in the fading sunlight.

"Wand?" Haimish asks

Menthos nods.

"Magical?" Haimish asks

Menthos turns and gives the bard a disgusted look, "Duh."

"Can I see it?" Haimish asks

"No, I don't know what it does yet." Menthos replies

"I've studied a bit of magic, I might know what it does, a bard's magic has many qualities." Haimish tells Menthos

"No, because if it's a wand of fireballs, I'm keeping it, or a wand of lightening, or cone of cold, or scorching ray, or ray of enfeeblement, or chest enhancer." Menthos explains

"They make those? I promise to give it back after I look at it." Haimish pleads

Menthos sighs and relents to Haimish's inspection, the bard runs his hands over the wand and concentrates on trying to activate the wand.

"Is it a wand of constipation? Because it appears to be doing that to you." Menthos says annoyed with how long Haimish was taking

"I'm concentrating, be quiet." Haimish replies

"Give it back." Menthos says as he grabs it from the bard's hands

"Hey! I wasn't done yet." Haimish decries

"Allacazoola mythicaboula bipitty bopitty boo." Menthos says while shaking the wand

"What kind of words are those? Sounded like a baby golem's lullaby." Haimish wonders

"Aw, shoot something dammit!" Menthos yells and shakes the wand. Five small energy missiles are discharged from the wand's tip and slam into the back of Haimish

"You shot me?! Why? You bastard." Haimish breathes as his newly healed body is torn apart by the magic missiles from the wand.

Kessen runs up to the scene and instead of checking on Haimish, he cold-cocks Menthos, knocking the teifling to the ground. Xanthos advances to the downed Haimish again while Turgar re-ignites his vigor aura in hopes of stabilizing Haimish.

"What was that for?" Menthos asks incredulously

"Your time is up pal!" Kessen announces as he notches an arrow at Menthos

"He wanted to know what it did? Can you not think of a better example?" Menthos asks while waving his holly branch in the air

"Quit whining and take you death like a man!" Kessen shouts

Doopa nudges the bow with his club and Kessen's arrows slices off into the grass.

"What? What are you doing?" Kessen asks

"Menthos help Doopa with troll problem, Doopa not let human kill Menthos now." The ogre speaks

"What are you talking about? It was Kessen that got us out of jail that night, the teifling wasn't even there." Turgar lies to Doopa

This confuses the ogre who re-evaluates that night's events.

"Hey Doopa." Menthos calls while brandishing a couple gold crowns in his hand

"Shiny!" Doopa yells and advances to take the coins from Menthos' hand

"Enough." Haimish speaks as Xanthos helps him to his feet and then helps him walk over to Menthos, "I'm taking this, you obviously have no idea how to handle one of these."

Haimish takes the wand from Menthos' hand, "Oh, I think I can handle my stick. You're the one that had no idea how to work it."

Haimish points the stick at Menthos and speaks "Shoot dammit!" but nothing issues from the wand

"See, the wand rejects you. Clearly I should be the one to operate the thing." Menthos states

"Doopa will use toothpick." The ogre replies as he tries to snatch the wand from Haimish

"Oh please let the idiot shoot his head off with it. In fact I think after Doo-pah is dead, Menthos should have to carry it in his scroll case." Turgar says well pointing to his rear end.

"How do you work this?" Haimish demands

"Takes one to know one." Menthos answers

"What the hell is that? I want to know the trigger word!" Haimish demands

Okay, but if I tell you, you have to promise not to you use it inside the house." Menthos answers

Haimish is so upset at this point that he can't muster a response.

"The trigger words are Amanda Huggenkis." Menthos replies

Detecting no attempt at deceit, Haimish holds the wand up high. Confused stares abound as Haimish tries out the trigger words while Menthos falls to his knees laughing hysterically. The party heads back to town with Haimish trying out the trigger words ever so often an Menthos overcome with fits of laughter he explains off as a side effect of his magical ring.

Hairy Minotaur said:

"The trigger words are Amanda Huggenkis." Menthos replies

Detecting no attempt at deceit, Haimish holds the wand up high. Confused stares abound as Haimish tries out the trigger words while Menthos falls to his knees laughing hysterically. The party heads back to town with Haimish trying out the trigger words ever so often an Menthos overcome with fits of laughter he explains off as a side effect of his magical ring.

Click to expand...

Beautiful! I love a PC with a high Bluff skill.

A previous character I played had an absurdly high Bluff and Charisma score and I would routinely lie to everyone and anyone... nothing major, of course. Just enough of a tweak to make me look more heroic! It was a blast.

And in my other story hour, since the wizard got his Earrings of Lies nobody's sure when he's lying or telling the truth. Well, except for the holy warrior who (I think) gets to add his level to his Sense Motive checks or something.

Jon Potter said:

Beautiful! I love a PC with a high Bluff skill.

A previous character I played had an absurdly high Bluff and Charisma score and I would routinely lie to everyone and anyone... nothing major, of course. Just enough of a tweak to make me look more heroic! It was a blast.

Click to expand...

Oh, if you think that is something, wait until Menthos gets to Lord Palmere's party for some truly heroic bluffing. Think along the lines of him rolling a natural 20 plus his ranks in the skill whilst I roll a "1" with only a +1 bonus..... It gets thick.

Like a deer in torch lights

The party makes it back to Highcastle an hour before Haimish is due on stage. Kessen breaks away form the party and heads towards an odd merchant on the south side of town, Broggart’s Store. The rest of the party heads to the Scholar Inn to catch Haimish’s performance and then head off to bed.

Kessen spied the dilapidated structure from afar; Broggart was a retired barbarian raider from the Xosa clan, nearly wiped out twenty years ago by druids from Druid Hold. The building was purchased by Broggart who then set up shop and never paid any further attention to the building. The last twenty years had not been kind to the wooden frame, slats were missing from the roof and quite a few of the external planks had fallen out only to be replaced by cut logs. The building looked like something a deranged hermit would build. Just the type of man Kessen wanted to deal with.

“Ho there my good man, I confiscated this blowgun from a lizardman who won’t be needing it anymore, I was wondering if you had any knowledge of its workings?” Kessen inquires

“Is the lizardman dead, or did you just collapse a lung and wish him well?” Broggart asks

“Dead, along with his hunting buddy. Although I couldn’t recover that blowgun, my ogre companion broke it while beating the thing senseless.” Kessen relates

“Good! Never could trust a snake, the thing’s real easy to use though. Put the needle in and then blow real hard. The trick is in the aiming, that’s what makes them unreliable.” Broggart advises

“Can you teach me?” Kessen implores

“Nope, that weapon is for the cowardly and dainty, and I ain’t either of those. If you want to learn how to work that, go see one of the harlots down by the bazaar.” Broggart replies

*sigh* “Ok, how about I just sell this one then?” Kessen responds

The Inn is full with patrons this evening; the party had to wait for a table to open before they could seat themselves. Not wanting to wait any longer, Doopa unseats two drunken patrons and they tumble to the floor, he then waves over the party while pointing out the now empty table.

The party meets Doopa at the table as the ogre flags down a serving wench. Menthos however heads to the bar by himself.

“Excuse me barkeep!” Menthos catches the attention of the harried dwarven bartender, “do you have any of those meads with candy in it? You know Rock Mead?”

“What! No such drink exists, and if it did I would beat the man who invented it!” The dwarf shouts back

“Alrighty, how about two meads and a pouch of rock candy then?” Menthos replies

The dwarf complies with the request without thinking of the request. Menthos takes his drinks and turns to head to Doopa’s table, when he spots a sign at the end of the bar.


Lottery Tonight 1,000 gold crowns
2 gold crowns per ticket
Drawing at nine

Menthos buys three tickets and then seats himself at Doopa’s table.

“I don’t think you told me the right trigger word Menthos, I can’t get the wand to do anything” Haimish accuses

“Haimish, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.” Menthos answers while waving off the bard with his free hand.

Doopa then returns to the table just before the announcement of the numbers

“Wining number will be two.” Doopa states

“How do you know that?” Menthos asks

“Doopa saw all the pretty numbers in barrel and told man if he knew what was good for him, he would say number two is winner!” Doopa shouts gleefully

A scrawny little man steps up to the lip of the stage and the room goes quiet as he looks over the wining ticket number in his hand, then out at the crowd, his eyes resting on a smiling Doopa. The man swallows hard as he announces that the winning ticket is number two.

“Woo hoo! Doopa was right number two is the best number!” Doopa rejoices

The man’s knees quake with fear as Doopa shoots out of his chair, the man turns to give the ogre his winnings, but as he turns around he sees the ogre arguing with a teifling at the table there are sitting at.

“You idiot! You could’ve told me what the special number was before I bought the tickets!” Menthos shouts

Haimish and Turgar laugh themselves out of their seats, as an inebriated Halfling wins the payday of his life.

“And now the musical stylings of Haimish!” Hairy announces to some fanfare.

“Thank you, thank you. Thanks everybody for coming.” Haimish states, and then begins his set for the night

Haimish, Haimish McHaggis
He’s the most important person in history
From the Plains of Zuras
Comes a tale that is mostly gory

On the road to Highcastle
Numerous bandits he did meet
Killed them all with one thrust
Of his perfectly pedicured feet

When you dance with Haimish
He’ll twirl you that way, dip you this way
You’ll have a Gaelic time!

As the crowd cheered on Haimish, Menthos slumped back in his seat, “Man, I can’t believe what passes as entertainment in this town. I need to perfect my beauty queen hand wave and find a parade somewhere.”

“You do not find his tunes enjoyable?” Xanthos inquired

“No, they grate against my soul. Now if he were to sing of something a little more heavy like war, or love, or the making of either. Then perhaps I could get into it. Right now it sounds more like two bullettes in heat and neither one realizing the other is female until it’s too late.” Menthos replies

“You are a sick little man.” Turgar states

“Wrong there bucko, the Temple of Kador says I’m a fine specimen of fiendish origin. So take that.” Menthos answers by sticking out his tongue at Turgar

Kessen joins the group as Haimish finishes his song; Menthos excuses himself and heads off to bed. Haimish sings for another hour and garners his best tips to date.

“Yes! Twenty one gold crowns, too many more of those nights and I won’t need to seek my fortune anywhere else but the stage.” Haimish relates

“What’s on tap for tomorrow?” Kessen asks

“More practice.” Haimish answers, “I’m still no where near ready for a vampire.”

Morning finds the group leaving Highcastle again in search of things to kill and stuff to take.

“Let’s head into the Dearthwood this time, I could use some orc practice.” Haimish pleads

“I too would like to visit the Dearthwood, I know of a local druidic circle there. Perhaps they could offer assistance?” Xanthos agrees

“Maybe they have anti-toxin?” Kessen asks

“You don’t need anti-toxin if you grab the snake by the tail. If you grab it by the tongue, you should expect to get bitten.” Menthos states

“Doopa smash snake with club, then it not matter which end Doopa picks up.” The ogre offers

“I didn’t know there were snakes on the north side of the Neck*. On the good side we call those things arms and they are usually attached to someone.” Turgar laughs

The party heads north out of Highcastle and soon finds themselves facing an impressive front of tall thick trees. Xanthos speaks with some birds and a field mouse and learns of the location of the druidic circle. Xanthos leads them northwest into the woods and finally to a small clearing.

“Stay here, I will go meet with them.” Xanthos tells the party

“Meet with who? I don’t see anybody.” Menthos answers

“They’re preparing for attack; if you go in there they’ll kill you.” Xanthos states

“Kill me with what? Berries and nuts? Or maybe they’ll throw feces at me from the tree tops?” Menthos replies

Xanthos doesn’t respond and moves to the center of the glade with outstretched and upturned palms. He stops in the middle of the clearing and appears to have a conversation with someone on the far side of the glade. After a few minutes he returns.

“They have agreed to let us put down some orcs.” Xanthos says proudly

“We needed permission? Bunch of sissified moss farmers out here.” Menthos shouts

“The circle works to maintain a balance within nature, to upset that balance would bring upon their wrath.” Xanthos answers

“Push him some more, I want to see that.” Kessen states

“Balance? Well, it did work so well for you, a perfect balance of half ass and half man. I think it would be better if you were a horse’s head with a man’s body. Now that would be balance.” Menthos replies

“The druids have shown me a forest trail frequented by deer that is a favorite hunting spot for orcs of this side of the Dearthwood.” Xanthos relates, ignoring the ranting Menthos

“Great, lead on.” Kessen abdicates to the centaur

“Oh, Doopa likes venison. Mmm tasty.” The ogre smiles

“No, we are not to touch the deer, only the hunting orcs.” Xanthos admonishes

Hurt Doopa looks towards Menthos for support; Menthos gives him a pat on the shoulder and a wink.

“How do we know if it’s really deer?” Menthos asks, but Xanthos does not reply, “I mean you can change into a cat, who’s to say whether or not the deer aren’t shape shifted orcs waiting to attack us from behind?”

“Orcs do no practice the same reverence of nature as the circle does, that would not shift into a deer. A teifling maybe, but not a deer.” Xanthos answers

“Well then how do you know I’m not Menthos?” The teifling inquires

“I don’t, I gave the circle your exact description, for all I know they’ve kidnapped you and replaced you with an exact duplicate.” Xanthos relates

“Yeah, but did they have to duplicate his attitude too?” Kessen asks

Haimish and Turgar begin to laugh as a loud crash thunders to the party’s right, trees sway and are leveled as something huge lumbers through the thick woods heading for the party.

“Must be mating season?” Menthos postulates

The party spreads out as the last few trees between them and whatever is approaching fall to the side as a huge grey wart covered creature with misshapen teeth and preceding gut bellows at the party.

“Cave troll.” Turgar shouts

Doopa charges the beast, but as he approaches the thing, it swings it’s massive tree trunk and swats away the ogre like a fly. Doopa is lifted off his feet and flung into an adjacent tree trunk fifteen feet in the air. The blow knocks the wind from his lungs as he crashes down to the forest floor unconscious.

“Oh uh.” Haimish says as he brakes into a moral boosting tune

Oh ugly beast
Please don’t eat me
The druid is much tastier
He’s half horse meat

“Now that’s a tune I could get behind!” Menthos shouts as he gives Haimish a thumbs-up approval on his choice of material he then blasts the side of the creature’s head with an eldritch blast, “Stupid troll, don’t you know this is a deer crossing!”

“Please wait! I was not given clearance to kill a cave troll, we must retreat!” Xanthos yells

“Okay, you engage it and give us cover to run for it.” Turgar replies

Xanthos hesitates as the creature charges Haimish who raises his shield in time to deflect a blow for his head, still, the force of the swing knocks the bard onto his back as the creature plows forward.

Doopa shakes of the effects of the stunning shot he took and sits up next to the tree he collided with. Still dazed, his ears heard the sounds of battle behind him and his heart forced a rage, bypassing his brain chance to assess the situation.

Menthos scurries around to stand over Haimish and point his ring at the troll; a spray of color erupts all around the troll’s head. The beast’s eyes gloss over as he wavers in his stance and is transfixed upon the small pinpoints of light, it even tries to reach out and grab at the lights. Haimish breathes a thank you at Menthos as an enraged Doopa slams into the beast’s side with his club. Turgar follows while Kessen dances around the creature firing arrows into the beast.

With an almighty crunch, the troll is felled as it collapses in front of Xanthos.

“Kessen, go scout up some tinder, we’re going to need at lot of wood to light this thing up.” Menthos instructs

“What! No way! I will not allow you to start a fire in here!” Xanthos screams

“Well, he’s just going to wake up again and who knows if the ring works next time or not.” Menthos advises

“I don’t care; you’re not starting a fire.” Xanthos pounds a fist into the troll

“I’m with Xanthos; we don’t need bad karma from the druids.” Haimish states

The rest of the party agrees, outnumbered Menthos concedes and relents. The party hurries away from the beast, trying to get some distance between themselves and the troll before it rises to come looking for them.



* Reference to Neuwag's Neck a part of the Cloudwall Mountains

“Please wait! I was not given clearance to kill a cave troll, we must retreat!” Xanthos yells

Click to expand...

Druids - the old U.N.

"You are remembered for the rules you break."
- General Douglas MacArthur

Ambush!

The party races south from the troll, paralleling its track through the woods. Kessen scouts ahead of the party, pointing out various points along the way that could be used as ambush places for orcs. Avoiding the clearings and river crossings, Kessen leads the party to the edge of the woods where it meets the Troll Fens.

“I think you did too well of a job, you’ve managed to avoid the orcs completely.” Turgar says

“They’re in there; I didn’t want to face an ambush. The orcs aren’t stupid; they’re going to fight from a tactically sound position.” Kessen replies

“It’s a good thing you got us permission to kill something we can’t find Xanthos, good work. Maybe tomorrow you can get permission for us to find food we can’t eat? We can smell it and hold it, but not eat it.” Menthos verbally spars with the centaur

“This isn’t my fault, Kessen admits to intentionally skirting around the orcs.” Xanthos responds

“Don’t blame me, It’s not my fault Menthos can’t handle combat, and I have to go looking for an elderly, limping, one-eyed orc with hearing problems for us to hunt down and mercy kill.” Kessen retorts

“Why don’t we head back to the Mermist then?” Haimish proposes

“Sounds like a good plan, I hate forests anyway. Feels like you’re being watched constantly.” Turgar answers

“That’s because you are.” Xanthos replies

“Fine, I’ll take us all back there then!” Kessen shouts and heads out into the fens

The tall grasses and insect populations of the fens would have been called a marsh if there was any standing water at all, while the land got regular rainfall, it drained well enough into the Dearthwood to keep standing water at a minimum and it never stayed long enough to provide a regular source of water.

Kessen waded through the waist high grasses that swayed on the breeze. To Menthos it looked like an ocean waves crashing against the interloper Kessen. The party followed Kessen into the grass and tried to stay within his tracks as they trekked away from the forest.

“Wait!” Xanthos yelled sniffing the air around him, “I smell orc.”

“Impossible, I would have noticed them by now.” Kessen argued as three arrows penetrate the scout’s leather armor and lodge in his back.

“Looks like you found the ambush anyway.” Haimish calls out

Xanthos advances and spots a group of eight orcs ahead of the party firing from nearly complete cover within the tall grasses. The centaur points out their location to the rest of the party as Turgar yanks the arrow shafts from Kessen’s back.

“Shh… Doopa going to circle round and surprise orcs from the back.” The ogre announces

“Did you get clearance first? I mean we’re not in the Dearthwood anymore, shouldn’t we be finding the local druid union to check on infringement rights or something?” Menthos inquires, as Doopa ignores him and heads off anyway

“There is no druidic presence for the Troll Fens.” Xanthos answers

“Well there ought to be, obviously the orcs are leaving the Dearthwood to ambush the lands surrounding the woods. Sounds like a job for Super Druid!” Menthos replies as four arrows shoot forth from the tree line behind the party two of which hit Xanthos in the rear flank.

“Ambush!” Kessen shouts as he wheels around to look for the archers behind the party

“Oh goodie, more guests at the party. Looks like the scout was looking for a good place for all of us to die.” Menthos

Kessen moves back towards the tree line and fires up at the general location where he thinks the shots were fired at, as he gets within a few feet of the trees, a group of orcs plow their way out of the woods and race by Kessen, heading straight for the center of the party.

“Behind you!” Kessen shouts as he turns and fires off an arrow at a passing orc. Kessen’s shouting draws the orcs hidden in the trees attention and the scout is felled with six arrows to his chest.

A guttural war cry erupts from the grasses behind the party as four orcs with broadswords slash their way through the cover. Expecting the assault due to Kessen’s alerting, Menthos raises his ring at the charging orcs and dazzles all four of them. Xanthos and Turgar move to flank them and begin to mow them down one by one.

Six more arrows fly through the air and puncture Xanthos who is bleeding heavily now at the strength begins to drain away from him. Seeing his distress, Turgar turns on his vigor aura staunching the blood flow and unknowingly saving Kessen from death as well.

Doopa reaches the forward archers and quickly disrupts their ranks as his tree trunk of a club scatters the orcs; he manages to take down four of them as the other two escape through the grass. Under fire from the orcs in the trees, Haimish locates the fallen Kessen and drags him back to the rest of the party, Haimish tosses Kessen on the back of Xanthos and the party hastily makes their way west on a intercept course with the High Road.

“We should probably go back and bury our kills; I think the druids would want it that way. You know balance of life and that sort of thing.” Menthos says sarcastically

“We’d be killed, we got lucky there.” Xanthos answers

“Wouldn’t want any bad karma with the druids, maybe they can reincarnate Kessen as a hot serving wench?” Menthos replies

“He’s not dead, he’s resting.” Haimish explains

“Yeah right, the only reason he hasn’t fallen off Xanthos’ back is because you nailed him to it.” Menthos argues

“Doopa said he did not collect any orc skulls to add to belt of kills.” The ogre interjects remorsely

“Well, there’ll be a fallen log up here you can relieve yourself on. I’d rather not smell rotting orc head and ogre urine while down wind from you; your flatulence is bad enough.” Turgar answers

“Doopa urinate on skull so that no one else takes it.” Doopa explains

“Who would want an orc head with your urine on it?” Turgar questions

“I would, right next to the bleeding heart of Xanthos and the spineless form of Kessen.” Menthos answers

“No, devil-man can not have Doopa’s fetishes.” Doopa counters

“Don’t need them either; I’ve got enough of my own.” Menthos winks

“That’s not what he meant.” Haimish advises Menthos

“Well, how do I know what he does with them when no one is looking or everyone else is asleep?” Menthos responds

The party marches on and soon the towers of Highcastle are seen ahead on the road, the party goes on high alert as the near death experience from the bandit attack is fresh on their minds. They breathe a sigh of relief as they pass through the west gate and re-enter the city.

The dragon shaman and druid heal up Kessen as best they can, bringing the scout back to consciousness. Haimish decides to head back to the Scholar’s Inn to work on his information gathering techniques. Worried about being left to slowly die, Menthos visits the Temple of Kador to inquire about some liquid healing, while Turgar and Doopa go their separate ways in search of like minded conversationalists.

“How does traipsing through the countryside suit you?” Helle asked

“I quite fancy our abbreviated jaunts through the druid protected orcish wildlife preserve.” Menthos answers

“Really? Set anything on fire?” Helle inquires

“No, but I did light a fire under the centaur’s rear. Maybe now he’ll stop standing on tip toes on his pedestal.” Menthos answers

“Did you secure the vial?” Helle asks

“I told you, I’m not going to steal it from him, I’m not that kind of handsomely roguish teifling. Besides, I’d much rather watch him destroy himself with the item, than have it break in my hands. I have a small resistance to fire, not a resistance to incinerating pyre of volcanism.” Menthos explains

Menthos purchases a couple of cure wounds potions and returns to the Scholar’s Inn where he avoids purchasing more lottery tickets, but still attempts to order the candy ale. A couple of jugglers are performing on stage as Menthos finds a seat next to Xanthos and Kessen.

“Finally decide to grace us with your presence?” Kessen asks

“You weren’t out killing babies were you?” Xanthos inquires

“No, but I did get permission to fry some horse meat.” Menthos answers

“I hear your buddies at the Temple of Kador are in tight with the Overlord, makes you wonder why they don’t have the grandest temple in the city, or aren’t supplementing the local militia with priests.” Kessen ponders aloud

“Whose saying they don’t?” Menthos challenges

“Oh come now, you can’t tell me the Kador temple is outshines the Thellos temple. Thos people know how to spend a coin, maybe you should switch allegiances. Obviously the Kadors aren’t putting it back into their faith.” Kessen replies

“I wouldn’t want to ruin my rock hard abs.” Menthos answers***

The jugglers end their act and Haimish is introduced on stage.

“Evening, thanks for everyone that came. Tonight I thought I do some poetry.”

In the scheme of things
The bending of knees
Only matters
When you are with trees

I was shot with an arrow
To the priest I flew like a sparrow
And when he was done
Gold, I had none
So I killed him and took his stuff

The orc hid in the grass
He offered to play
I had to pass
For orc was far too crass

When he was done he had earned three silver for his efforts.

“Aw crud, looks like I need to work on those.” Haimish states

“Maybe you should work blue?” Menthos offers

“I think maybe you should stick to singing.” Kessen says

“Or I hear motivation speaking is doing really well with fanatics. Maybe you could stir up a little business there?” Menthos offers

“No, I think there’s just too much on my mind right now, with the party coming up and the whole killing an ancient vampire that could put my head through a wall with his snot, just makes for a stressful time. I feel like the kernel of truth under the heel of imagination.” Haimish responds

“Maybe you should cut out the fancy talk, I don’t speak abyssal.” Menthos replies

“Eventually I will be able to shift to form of a virus and then you and I could communicate better.” Xanthos advises

“No, viruses are so needy and clingy, I’d feel uncomfortable. I’m still waiting for that hot serving wench.” Menthos replies

“I wonder what the ogres are doing.” Haimish asks

“Doopa’s seeing someone about taxidermy and Turgar was going to look into getting us some healing potions.” Kessen replies

“Great, Doopa’s making hand puppets and Turgar’s gone clubbing.” Menthos responds



*** The priests of Thellos are overly obese individuals, as beffitting their god.

Planning your own death

A worried mind plays havoc with Haimish’s sleep as the bard thinks about what he must attempt to do in a few days. Believing that his life was better not knowing who was pulling your strings, Haimish understands why they can ignorance bliss as it must grant an easier sleep than the truth.

Morning arrives far too soon for the trueborn as its brilliant light shines through the flimsy linen sheet that doubled as a curtain in his room. Haimish looked about the room and noted that the two ogres had made it back sometime during the evening, he also notes that Menthos is missing, either he left in the middle of the night or woke up before the sunrise. Shrugging his shoulders, Haimish pulls himself out of bed and quietly escapes out the door to his room.

Ascending the stairs to the main room, Haimish spots Menthos alone at a table enjoying a breakfast of eggs and some kind of meat. Haimish signals for the serving wench to bring him some water at Menthos’ table and proceeds to sit himself at the table.

“What’s that?” Haimish curls his nose up at the sight of the slimy piece of meat-like substance on Menthos’ plate.

“Eel, a ship from Modron docked last night with a load of these, luckily for the Inn, I happen to be a fan of them. This was about the only thing my brother and I would eat o a regular basis.” Menthos explains

“Looks like the inside of a hill giant’s runny nose.” Haimish comments

“Taste’s like it too.” Menthos replies

The serving wench delivers Haimish’s water and the bard requests eggs and potatoes for breakfast. Thanking the bard for his order, the wench excuses herself and returns to the kitchen.

“How do you get up so early?” Haimish inquires

“I don’t know, for the last week I’ve been getting up just before sunrise everyday. It’s really pissing me off to not be able to sleep in.” Menthos responds

“Maybe it has something to do with all that time you spend at the Kador temple?” Haimish offers

“Maybe it has something to do with all the gassing and belching you do in your sleep?” Menthos counters

“No need to turn this personal, I was merely making an observation. Do you not see how their influence could have rubbed off on you?” Haimish asks

“No, I’m not converting and they never talk about that sort of stuff when I’m there anyway.” Menthos counters

“I didn’t know you had a religion to convert from, whom do you follow now?” Haimish inquires

“None of your business. What I am doing at the Kador temple is self-sufficiency training, I notice you’ve not really done anything to prep yourself for the party tomorrow night. Do you think Kalen will just watch you pour sunlight into his drink?” Menthos asks

“I was thinking I would sing a song about lighted drinks and then go around the room casting light spells into people’s drinks, eventually I would reach Kalen, I’d ask for his drink turn around to make his glow like the rest of them, but I would pour the vial into his drink instead.” Haimish advises

“That’s your plan? I’ve seen more planning from an orcish pillaging raid. Besides how are you going to pour the vial and not scream out in pain from the burning?” Menthos asks

“I don’t know, but that’s the best I can think of at the moment, you should have heard the ones I shot down.” Haimish states

“No thanks, I’m eating. Why don’t you give me the vial to hold for you? It doesn’t burn me and that way you can still cast your little spell and I can work on bluffing the ancient undead noble.” Menthos offers

“You really think that will work?” Haimish replied hoping deep down that Menthos would take the dangerous portion of the plan and leave Haimish far out of the way.

“No, were all going to die.” Menthos responded and watched the color drain from the bard’s face, “Well, here’s what I was thinking. You know that long tunnel we found the last day we were down there? I was thinking I would take Doopa and we could enter the party that way and work from the cellar up, while the rest of you worked from the entrance down.” Menthos continued

“Why would you want to come in the back way?” Haimish wondered, “Especially if you’re the one with the vial?”

“You don’t have to give me the vial, but we’re going to need as much time as possible, and the sooner we find Kalen, the quicker we can adjust the plan if need be.” Menthos replied

Haimish pondered Menthos’ plan for a moment and agreed that it would be better to find Kalen early, although he still wasn’t sold on why Menthos wanted to use the back entrance, Haimish thought if anyone could go it alone, Kessen would be the obvious choice.

“Why wouldn’t you want Kessen to come in from the cellar? Wouldn’t he be a better choice than you? I mean no offence, but I don’t see what talents you have for sneaking around and getting into places. At least Kessen has shown the ability to avoid people when needed.” Haimish inquires

“Because Kalen knows what you look like, he may not know about the rest of us. You need someone to watch your back if Kalen spots you first.” Menthos advises

“I can ask Xanthos to do that.” Haimish responds

“Have you even seen or heard of a druid besting a vampire? It’s always a cleric or a paladin, you’d think if it had happened it would make for a great story and you’d be singing it.” Menthos argues

“Okay, you have a point there.” Haimish concedes

“Besides Kessen can shoot from range, Xanthos’ only ranged attack is whimpering.” Menthos states

“I can tell you don’t like the centaur, at least he knows how to defend himself.” Haimish comments

“I don’t like Turd-guard either, but that won’t stop me from finding him something to do at the party, other than making fun of Doopa.” Menthos responds

The serving wench returns with Haimish’s food, as Menthos gets up from the table.

“Well, I’ve got a full day today. I’ll see you again tonight.” Menthos states as he strolls out of the Inn

Haimish suddenly feels not so hungry anymore. A small human boy watches the exchange between Haimish and Menthos from the safety of the staircase, as the teifling leaves the boy rises and strides towards Haimish.

“Hello good sir, is this sit taken?” A well dressed noble looking elf asks Haimish

The bard looks up at the elf and then around at the multitude of empty tables in the main room, “Why do you wish to sit here? There are plenty of empty tables available, plus I’m would not be good company this morning.” Haimish replies shaking his head

“Nonsense human, you are just the man I was looking for.” The elf speaks

The hairs along Haimish’s arm stand up as the internal warning system inside the bard’s brain goes off that this is probably Kalen come to inquire about the Soul Gem. Haimish’s eyes quickly dart about the room looking for the nearest escape or barring that the nearest elderly or crippled person he could run by to slow Kalen down. Looking back at the elf, Haimish instead sees the form of a young street urchin.

“Xanthos! You had me planning my escape and flight from the city!” Haimish yells as he flings some potatoes at the shifter.

“Ha! What did you think of my disguise? I’ve spent some time researching past graduates from the School of Ancient Knowledge and I found Eryuntheal Fellitherian an elven graduate from nearly a century ago.” The excited boy tells Haimish

“Very good, I thought you were the vampire.” Haimish concedes

“Well after tomorrow night I’ll be able to look like one at least.” The boy smiles back at Haimish, “What did Menthos want?”

“Oh, he had a plan for getting the liquid sun into the drink of Kalen. I’m just no so sure about his plan.” Haimish relates Menthos’ plan to Xanthos

“Sounds like he wants all the glory himself, you didn’t give him the vial did you?” Xanthos asks

“No, although I did like that part of the equation.” Haimish answers

“Well, here’s what I was thinking. We all get in and stake out a room, I can mingle as the elven graduate returned to see the old school. Once I get a location on Kalen, I can signal you guys and we can plan from there.” Xanthos explains

“I guess that’s safer than moving as a group, but what if Kalen spots me first?” Haimish inquires

“Did you tell him you would be at the party?” Xanthos asks

“I don’t think so, I can’t remember.” Haimish answers

“Then that would be a problem, maybe we should search in two person teams?” Xanthos suggests

“That would be safer.” Haimish agrees

“We’ll run it by everyone tonight, right now I’m off to perfect the elf and work on some more of his background.” Xanthos says and the little boy scurries out of the Inn.

Suddenly feeling isolated and alone, Haimish decides to take a walk around Highcastle instead of finishing his breakfast. The bard exits the Scholar’s Inn and turns east, he walks for a few blocks before spotting the form of the city’s amphitheater. Haimish stares quietly at the structure.

Sighing, Haimish continues on and finds himself in front of the Bard’s College door. For three days he’s walked past this door stopping each time but not having the courage to knock, and while today was no different the door opened without a knock.

“Oh sorry sir, I didn’t know you where standing out here.” A middle-aged man says as he steps through from the College and shakes out a dirty welcome mat

Haimish stands there unmoving and unable to speak. A feeling of knowing his life would end in a mere forty-two hours pressed hard upon his vocal cords.

“Is this something I can help you with? Usually we don’t do tours until afternoon, but I’ve got some time to kill this morning would you like one?” The man asks

Haimish didn’t remember agreeing to one, but found himself stepping through the threshold anyway.

On the other side of the city, Menthos again entered the Temple of Kador. Today, Helle had promised the teifling a lesson on how the Pyromancers of Kador used solid and liquid fire for weapons and defense of their citadel on the elemental plane of fire and the quasi-plane of magma.