Artwork: Would Appreciate Comments. (EN World commission)

Here is the description and drawing. I'm just not getting any traffic in the thread I posted in the Art Gallery and Miniatures section of EN World. Thanks for your thoughts. Any comments are welcome.



Weapon Stats:

Handgun

The feared handguns of the Legions have been used to devastate both fiendish and mundane forces. It is a simple sturdy device, which is good as it can be used as a crude club if the opposition gets too close. The weapon is essentially a hand-held construct, thus it generates the force that propels the ammunition its loaded with.

Step 1 – Choose Propellant Size

Standard


Step 2 – Choose Bullet Caliber

Large caliber, gives the following base characteristics for the weapon:

Damage 1d12, Penetration 2, Recoil 5.

Step 3 – Choose Barrel Length

The Handgun is a short rifle.

This gives +2 to base damage, -1 to recoil and +1 to penetration.

This gives us the following statistics:

Damage 1d12+2, Range Increment 100’, Penetration 3, Recoil 4.

Step 4 – Choose Receiver

The Handgun is an individually loading weapon.

The statistics of the weapon are now:

Damage 1d12+2; Range Increment 100’; Penetration 3; Recoil 4; Rate of Fire: SF

Step 5 – Choose Feed

Breech-loaded

A breech-loaded weapon holds but one round of ammunition, and the ammunition is manually loaded into and extracted from an opening in the rear end of the weapon’s barrel. Loading a breech-loaded weapon is no more difficult that loading and drawing a bow, so a character can automatically reload with each attack.

Step 6 – Model Special Attributes

The weapon used heavy bolts as ammunition, add +1d6 of piercing damage.

The handgun can be used an improvised club. Use the statistics for a large club.

Final Statistics

These are the d20 statistics for the Handgun.

Weapon Type: Firearm – Large

Accuracy: +1 (+2 base, -1 due to high recoil)

Damage: 1d12+2 piercing, +1d6 extra due to projectile size (extra not increased on crit)

Critical: 18-20, x2

Range Increment: 100’

Penetration: 3 (optional)

Recoil: 4

Rate of Fire: SF

Ammunition: 1 (bolt)

Weight: 6 lb.


It is pretty much final at this point, but I feel bad for not getting any feedback from my other post... mainly for the behalf of Robert R. He was hoping for feedback on the weapon before I went through with the final drawing, but I just have to take windows of opportunity when they're available to me... and after no comments for however many days... well... anyway, please share them, even if it is too late. Which, really, it is for now... but if Robert likes the ideas enough, I'll add them when I get some commissions out of the way. Thanks again.

Well, for what it's worth... I think the artwork's very well done.

We all know that in fantasy RPG's, art can be a crapshoot...accent on crap more often than not.

I'd like to see some creatures you've drawn. Your style seems to be well suited for steampunk....Iron Kingdoms, etc...

What I think needs a little work is the text. "Handgun" is not very imaginative, IMHO....and the flavor text needs some pizazz.

this seems to have a serious perspective problem. notice that in the head on veiw that the top nub seems to be longer than the barrel, while in the side view it obviously isn't?

i think you could stand to better delineate the barrel mechanism

also i think if you again compare the 2 veiws, the more forward "handle" or nub on the bottom is significantly longer on the side view than the front.

over all either one is a good drawing, they just don't appear to be the same "gun"

Undead Pete : I'll go get some creatures for you to look at right now

alsih2o: Ack! I forgot to denote that the left drawing is a back view... not 'head on.' I drew it, merely to show how the cover 'flips' up on the pin inserted through the barrel loading dock cover. If I made it clear that it was a back view, would that solve the problem? Or is it still unclear?

Thanks guys. Keep the comments comin'. I'll be right back with those links for Pete, and to check for further comments.

o.k. feeling squeamish about what i wrote. please understand the following:

i usually don't post critique of artwork here because i was trained in a school where brutal but constructive crit was the norm, i think it helps SOME artists grow.

i have looked over your website and love your work. the feel and flavor are great.

these are flaws i find in this one piece, not in you.

seeing the quality of your work, i assumed you are a big enough artist/person to take it as intended, as a crit of the mechanics of this piece, not a dim view of you as a person.

You can't see the barrel on the end view, since it is from the rear what you are looking at is the loading panel and a slide to cover it.

Problem is it is much smaller on the end view than the side view. Pretty unforgivable since you can just project the lines across to get an accurate size for the end view (or visa versa).

alsih2o, definitely no offense taken. On the contrary, I'm very grateful for when people are direct with their criticism. I'm not out to get pats on the back. I'm obligated to pleasing the client, which really comes down to you guys, as this is an EN World commission. Same goes for my other commissions.

I've done a lot of work for WotC, and I hate it when I look back, and see something I've done that is lacking in either artistic integrity, or legitimacy (that is, depicting something incorrectly).

I really appreciate these comments.

Bagpuss: good point about the unforgiveable scale... I actually had drawn them in seperate files, then just cut/paste the rear-view next to the side-view. Considering the time I put into both, I wasn't really willing to go back through and noodle the dimensions to perfect quality. I think that's nearly ridiculously unnecessary... IMO. Thanks!

So does the back view just confuse everyone? I might just axe it from the canvas, if it is. *shrug*

Oh.. it might also help clear things up a bit, if I made it clear that in the side view, the load cover is down- while in the rear-view, it's up... showing how it's been flipped up to allow for the bolt to be inserted.

Make sense? Thanks.

feeb said:

Oh.. it might also help clear things up a bit, if I made it clear that in the side view, the load cover is down- while in the rear-view, it's up... showing how it's been flipped up to allow for the bolt to be inserted.

Make sense? Thanks.

Click to expand...

My only nitpicky comment on the above drawing is this :

on the side view, if I draw a line from the center left hand side of the barrel (insert side) to the right hand side, it doesn't come out as the center of the barrel but rather close to the top. It's not shocking and I hadn't noticed at first but now I can't help but see it...

That being said, I love the style. If you want to illustrate my story hour, I'll set up a web site just for you ! Check out the link below if you speak French or e-mail (ben@planetharmonica.com) me if you don't and can still be bothered (guess you must have been asked that about 3 million times...)

I'd axe the end view if I was you. It doesn't add an awful lot to the picture and does seem to confuse.