The "That's Unrealistic!" Retort Compendium

I'm sure a lot of people have noticed that many DMs (and players, though that's seldom as critical in determining what gets houseruled) seem to have standards of some sort that they expect out of classes incapable of using magic. Such classes, even at high levels where by any reasonable account, the PC is blatantly more powerful than Superman, are told they must still coform to real world physics or otherwise not be awesome. This thread, ideally, will be a consolidated rebuke of that viewpoint, something you can go digging in to find support for your cause the next time your DM says "No way in hell can your monk jump 30 ft straight up and attack that guy!" and expects you to solicit the sorcerer for a Fly spell like some pitiful beggar.

Obviously, huge plus if you can categorize or otherwise explicitly state the tie in between your posting(s) and D&D or other RPGs. If not, who doesn't love an awesome video, news clipping, photograph, etc... regardless? I'll start with some examples from real life.

This is what you can train an Animal to do with Handle Animal:
[sblock][ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXElh_VM0Uc]YouTube - TreT - PARKOUR DOG FROM UKRAINE[/ame][/sblock]

A completely run of the mill application of Tumble (skip to 0:20 or so):
[sblock][ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbCkidVajmY[/ame][/sblock]

Optimized rate of fire with a bow / mounted archery, before haste and other magic:
[sblock][ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yorHswhzrU]YouTube - Archery Rapid Fire Hun Archery Kassai[/ame][/sblock]
EDIT: Additional video:
[sblock]
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1o9RGnujlkI[/ame]
[/sblock]

I saw that traffic accident, but if you really want to show RW Tumble stuff, look up vids on freerunning/parkour, esp. the ones from science education TV shows:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuzSipo5r8g]YouTube - Time Warp - S01E08 Freerun/Parkour[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzRIJHoCQcA]YouTube - FSN-Free Running Sport Science[/ame]

but even the home tapes are impressive:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIgPMkGJ2v4]YouTube - Parkour - Big Jump[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqWI0ICJsAI]YouTube - Parkour/Freerun Big Drop/Jump ( about 18 ft ) Jroenn HD[/ame]

I remember once playing in a Savage Worlds: Zombie Apocalypse game in which the GM was going to allow a player to light a trail of gasoline with a lit cigarette when another player chimed in that it wasn't possible because the Mythbusters had disproved it. My response was to ask in which episode of Mythbusters they covered the zombie apocalypse and to point out that we were not in fact playing the Mythbusters RPG.

I'm fairly generous with the sorts of cinematic exploits I will allow in the games I GM, so long as it fits the genre and setting. I don't particularly want to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in my Cthulhu game, though.

Personally, I'm more likely to permit something that is possible IRL- like those parkour stunts- as opposed to deny something cinematic that has been proven unlikely or impossible IRL- such as the lighting gasoline with a ciggy thing.

And one reason is my philosophy that while the Mythbusters may be thorough, they cannot test all eventualities that may lead to an unlikely occurrence happening, even if its a one in a billion corner case, but something that is demonstrably possible should be allowed because it is clearly possible.

Redcrow said:

I remember once playing in a Savage Worlds: Zombie Apocalypse game in which the GM was going to allow a player to light a trail of gasoline with a lit cigarette when another player chimed in that it wasn't possible because the Mythbusters had disproved it. My response was to ask in which episode of Mythbusters they covered the zombie apocalypse and to point out that we were not in fact playing the Mythbusters RPG.

I'm fairly generous with the sorts of cinematic exploits I will allow in the games I GM, so long as it fits the genre and setting. I don't particularly want to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in my Cthulhu game, though.

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The problem I have with these sorts of claims at the table is that so many people misremember the facts. For example, a quick Google search on the Mythbusters site turns up:

Mythbusters said:

It is possible to ignite a pool of gasoline using only a cigarette.

partly plausible

A cigarette has the potential to light a pool of gasoline but just doesn’t have enough sustained heat. Gas ignites between 500 °F and 540 °F, the cigarette at its hottest was between 450 °F and 500 °F but only when it was actually being smoked. An ignition is very improbable.

Click to expand...

So, instead of impossible, it's just improbable.

It's like when I first started gaming and I had more than a few DM's tell me that it was impossible to stand up after you'd fallen over in plate mail. :/ Or climb a ladder even. And it can be very, very difficult to disabuse people of these ideas once they've glommed onto them.

Hussar said:

It's like when I first started gaming and I had more than a few DM's tell me that it was impossible to stand up after you'd fallen over in plate mail. :/ Or climb a ladder even. And it can be very, very difficult to disabuse people of these ideas once they've glommed onto them.

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[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xm11yAXeegg]YouTube - Armour Aerobics[/ame]

This might be of use if you have a non-magical means of sustenance (Vow of Poverty is Su, not truly nonmagical, but only example I can think of at the moment):
Indian man survives without food and water, baffles doctors | Posted | National Post
"He spent two weeks under constant surveillance in an area equipped with cameras and closed circuit television. During the 15-day period, which ended Thursday, Jani didn’t eat, drink or go to the toilet."

If you ever want a totally sweet graft: Götz von Berlichingen - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"During the siege of the city of Landshut, he lost his right arm when enemy cannon fire forced his sword against him. He had a mechanical prosthetic iron replacement made, which is today on display at the Jagsthausen Castle. In spite of this injury, Berlichingen continued his military activities."
"His hand was ahead of its time, being capable of holding objects from a sword to a feather pen."

Mythbusters might be entertaining, but I wouldn't take any of their science that seriously, it is pretty poor experimental science even in the best of their episodes.

I'd laugh if someone tried to use Mythbusters to prove a point.

StreamOfTheSky said:

YouTube - Armour Aerobics

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Oh how I wish the Internet had been around when I was starting gaming. So much of the "That's not realistic" crap could have been solved in thirty seconds.

The problem is that so many people set up two lines - and D&D very much encourged this for a long time.

1) Realism vs magic. Rather then concluding "Ok this is a fantasy RPG, things are fantastic," it becomes a magic RPG, and those two are drastically different thing. It's where the caster supremecy comes from, and why fighters need all their magic items. Oddly enough, while D&D has long supported this mechanically, it didn't support this in it's fluff. Read the 2e PHB and get a big list of impossible and fantastic characters your fighter is meant to emulate (Note: he cannot emulate any of them).

2) We're nerds. We can, I think readily admit to that - most D&D gamers are nerds, and I'm certainly no exception. However, when thinking about the things a "fighting man" can do, we don't think of things an actual 18 strength physical monster would do, we think of things that we, the far-less-then-18-strength nerd can do. "I cannot imagine myself standing up in something a heavy as plate mail, ergo nobody can." In essence, the in-game reality is less real to actual reality due to people seeing things through their own flawed vision.

It leads to a truly astonding and bizarre case where not only can non-casters not be fantastic, they can't even accomplish things that are realistically awesome. Hell, right up until Tome of Battle (and even still for a depressing number of people), there was this idea that western swordsmanship didn't exist and that warriors just bashed each other over the head with no finesse or skill whatsoever.