Steel Dragon's Judgement of Roudn I: Match 3
Round I: Match 3
Piratecat's Bullheaded
vs.
Deuce Traveler's Acts of Murder
The retelling/-envisioning of mythic tales and characters vs. a curious and enticing story of fantasy characters and the nature of magical use. Again, the judges are faced with an impossible choice. You guys are definitely "bringin' it!" Makes me feel like I should cancel my own Story Hour! lol. Make room for those who really deserve it!
As Gulla rightly commented, the readers are are the real winners here.
On to the sorely difficult judgement...
1) Writing Skill & Style: You both are exceptional writers, capable of evoking fantastical tales, imagery, and realistic believable characters...even as wizards and semi-divine "persons". Humor, curiosity, sympathy and more are all brought out of the reader on both occasions.
Bullheaded's humor and use of a "modern day" voice with "yester-year" characters is both entertaining and refreshing.
Murder's use of fantasy (specifically D&D) tropes and re-use/explaining/examination of them is equally so.
For the purposes of spelling, grammar, and evocative use of language seems to be paralleled.
To Deuce Traveler I would say, "Don't be afraid to make a new sentence." The repeated use of "and" seemed both excessive "and" unnecessary in several places. Make a new sentence instead of wrapping all of a single character's actions into one. If they aren't doing it in the same moment then it's (should be) a new sentence "and" it wasn't in a couple of places.
Though I appreciated the consistency of voice from Centuro's pov.
Murder also seemed to have an editorial mistake or typo in a couple of places.
For Bullheaded, switching actions/POV's from one character to the next seems to demand a new paragraph. I don't always do it, myself. Though, I know I should. Both pieces have [minor] trouble with this, but neither is overly egregious.
Characterization of both was beautifully constructed. Centuro's sense of the dutiful soldier played against the haphazard distracted Gallindor was thorough and immediately believable. Asterion's brash rude "bullheaded" manner against Ant's purpose and "clear headedness" played perfectly.
I am inclined to give the lead here, simply on overall correctness not creativity, to Piratecat.
2) Picture Use: I found it refreshing and interesting that BOTH of you used the imp/gargoyle from the alley picture as interesting pieces in both stories. Bullheaded's as a complete character seems to warrant an edge here. But Murder's subtle and spooky "I thought the imp was staring down the opposite street, but on second glance I saw it was looking towards my side." was a very nice touch.
The fact that Bullheaded made the statue an actual focal character (which I probably never would have thought to do) gains it some serious points here, though. And the "leaning against the wall" translated as drunken guy peeing just killed me! Very funny.
The use of the cup in both stories was solid. Bringing it back in the end made it much more poignant in Murder. It's recurring mention, though unseen/outside of the immediate story, as a cause for the minotaur's poisoning was inspired for Bullheaded.
The "angel" figure was similarly well used. Though, I would say Bullheaded's use as a central character vs. Murder's use as a "Summoned Monster" was more integral to the story. Though bringing in Centuro's intrigue for the graceful glowing woman makes it/her still potent in the storytelling.
The waterfalls, in both stories, are wonderfully and creatively incorporated.
I'd say, this is a draw. Both stories used all of the pictures in important but different ways.
3) Personal Enjoyment: For me....there is no judgement here. I thought both stories were equally entertaining.
Murder gave us a bit of an interpretation into the insight of "how wizard's work/think." I think Gallindor was a brilliant character. An NPC I would (and WILL) happily use. The "theories of magic" were beautifully explained and gave rise to thought about "arcane magic" use for my own games/campaigns. I also liked the integration of the "old school thought/game" that wizard's grow up and get their tower away from/outside of civilization for a specific reason. The "why don't wizard's rule the world" argument is answered, unquestionably, for me...finally!
Bullheaded's use of the statue/constructed "Ant" was brilliant! I love that a secondary, if not tertiary, element of the picture became an integral character in the story. The one-horned minotaur as the central character was equally brilliant. The use of the "angel-esque" picture as more than a cursory spell effect worked for me as well. We are taken on a journey, through myths we already know, in an unexpected and humorous way.
I think, overall, for enjoyment levels, I have to again give the edge to Piratecat.
Steel Dragons' vote for winner, Round I: Match 3 is...
Piratecat.
Round I: Match 3
Piratecat's Bullheaded
vs.
Deuce Traveler's Acts of Murder
The retelling/-envisioning of mythic tales and characters vs. a curious and enticing story of fantasy characters and the nature of magical use. Again, the judges are faced with an impossible choice. You guys are definitely "bringin' it!" Makes me feel like I should cancel my own Story Hour! lol. Make room for those who really deserve it!
As Gulla rightly commented, the readers are are the real winners here.
On to the sorely difficult judgement...
1) Writing Skill & Style: You both are exceptional writers, capable of evoking fantastical tales, imagery, and realistic believable characters...even as wizards and semi-divine "persons". Humor, curiosity, sympathy and more are all brought out of the reader on both occasions.
Bullheaded's humor and use of a "modern day" voice with "yester-year" characters is both entertaining and refreshing.
Murder's use of fantasy (specifically D&D) tropes and re-use/explaining/examination of them is equally so.
For the purposes of spelling, grammar, and evocative use of language seems to be paralleled.
To Deuce Traveler I would say, "Don't be afraid to make a new sentence." The repeated use of "and" seemed both excessive "and" unnecessary in several places. Make a new sentence instead of wrapping all of a single character's actions into one. If they aren't doing it in the same moment then it's (should be) a new sentence "and" it wasn't in a couple of places.
Though I appreciated the consistency of voice from Centuro's pov.
Murder also seemed to have an editorial mistake or typo in a couple of places.
For Bullheaded, switching actions/POV's from one character to the next seems to demand a new paragraph. I don't always do it, myself. Though, I know I should. Both pieces have [minor] trouble with this, but neither is overly egregious.
Characterization of both was beautifully constructed. Centuro's sense of the dutiful soldier played against the haphazard distracted Gallindor was thorough and immediately believable. Asterion's brash rude "bullheaded" manner against Ant's purpose and "clear headedness" played perfectly.
I am inclined to give the lead here, simply on overall correctness not creativity, to Piratecat.
2) Picture Use: I found it refreshing and interesting that BOTH of you used the imp/gargoyle from the alley picture as interesting pieces in both stories. Bullheaded's as a complete character seems to warrant an edge here. But Murder's subtle and spooky "I thought the imp was staring down the opposite street, but on second glance I saw it was looking towards my side." was a very nice touch.
The fact that Bullheaded made the statue an actual focal character (which I probably never would have thought to do) gains it some serious points here, though. And the "leaning against the wall" translated as drunken guy peeing just killed me! Very funny.
The use of the cup in both stories was solid. Bringing it back in the end made it much more poignant in Murder. It's recurring mention, though unseen/outside of the immediate story, as a cause for the minotaur's poisoning was inspired for Bullheaded.
The "angel" figure was similarly well used. Though, I would say Bullheaded's use as a central character vs. Murder's use as a "Summoned Monster" was more integral to the story. Though bringing in Centuro's intrigue for the graceful glowing woman makes it/her still potent in the storytelling.
The waterfalls, in both stories, are wonderfully and creatively incorporated.
I'd say, this is a draw. Both stories used all of the pictures in important but different ways.
3) Personal Enjoyment: For me....there is no judgement here. I thought both stories were equally entertaining.
Murder gave us a bit of an interpretation into the insight of "how wizard's work/think." I think Gallindor was a brilliant character. An NPC I would (and WILL) happily use. The "theories of magic" were beautifully explained and gave rise to thought about "arcane magic" use for my own games/campaigns. I also liked the integration of the "old school thought/game" that wizard's grow up and get their tower away from/outside of civilization for a specific reason. The "why don't wizard's rule the world" argument is answered, unquestionably, for me...finally!
Bullheaded's use of the statue/constructed "Ant" was brilliant! I love that a secondary, if not tertiary, element of the picture became an integral character in the story. The one-horned minotaur as the central character was equally brilliant. The use of the "angel-esque" picture as more than a cursory spell effect worked for me as well. We are taken on a journey, through myths we already know, in an unexpected and humorous way.
I think, overall, for enjoyment levels, I have to again give the edge to Piratecat.
Steel Dragons' vote for winner, Round I: Match 3 is...
Piratecat.
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