Death -- a religious institution?

A discussion in the Gay Rights thread brought up how some (many?) consider marriage a religious institution because it is often performed in a religious forum by a religious leader.

How about death and funerals?

My mother and step-father hadn't been a part of any church for as long as I can remember (decades), if ever. When my step-father died suddenly, (8? years ago), my mother had to arrange the funeral at the funeral home. Now, she was in a distraught state, as you can imagine. She needed someone to perform the eulogy, and that's usually a clergyman. She called a local church to ask if the pastor would do the duty. But he was not helpful, and asked why he would do that for someone not a member of his church.

Fortunately, one of my step-brothers contacted a pastor they personally knew nearby and got him to agree to the duty. And he did wonderfully.

I have never been to a funeral that was not a religious ceremony. The leader was a clergyman of some form, and the ceremony included biblical passages and hymns. Take out the casket, and any of them could have been a Sunday morning sermon.

Is death and are funerals a religious institution in the same way that many people consider marriage a religious institution?

If you are not a religious person, will your funeral be completely devoid of religious trappings? Have you, and should you, explain to your family that you want a non-religious funeral?

Bullgrit

U

Bullgrit said:

A discussion in the Gay Rights thread brought up how some (many?) consider marriage a religious institution because it is often performed in a religious forum by a religious leader.

How about death and funerals?

My mother and step-father hadn't been a part of any church for as long as I can remember (decades), if ever. When my step-father died suddenly, (8? years ago), my mother had to arrange the funeral. Now, she was in a distraught state, as you can imagine. She needed someone to perform the eulogy, and that's usually a clergyman. She called a local church to ask if the pastor would do the duty. But he was not helpful, and asked why he would do that for someone not a member of his church.

Fortunately, one of my step-brothers contacted a pastor they personally knew nearby and got him to agree to the duty. And he did wonderfully.

I have never been to a funeral that was not a religious ceremony. The leader was a clergyman of some form, and the ceremony included biblical passages and hymns. Take out the casket, and any of them could have been a Sunday morning sermon.

Is death and are funerals a religious institution in the same way that many people consider marriage a religious institution?

If you are not a religious person, will your funeral be completely devoid of religious trappings? Have you, and should you, explain to your family that you want a non-religious funeral?

Bullgrit

Click to expand...

I've been to non-religious funerals.

That said, the funeral is really for those left behind rather than the deceased. IMO, my funeral can be whatever helps my family through the process.

Bullgrit said:

A discussion in the Gay Rights thread brought up how some (many?) consider marriage a religious institution because it is often performed in a religious forum by a religious leader.

How about death and funerals?

Click to expand...

As with marriage: it can be, but doesn't have to be.

My mother and step-father hadn't been a part of any church for as long as I can remember (decades), if ever. When my step-father died suddenly, (8? years ago), my mother had to arrange the funeral. Now, she was in a distraught state, as you can imagine. She needed someone to perform the eulogy, and that's usually a clergyman. She called a local church to ask if the pastor would do the duty. But he was not helpful, and asked why he would do that for someone not a member of his church.

Click to expand...

Wow. Epic fail there: not only on the "human compassion" front, but also on the "reach out to unbelievers" front.

Is death and are funerals a religious institution in the same way that many people consider marriage a religious institution?

Click to expand...

As I said, it can be but doesn't have to be.

Personally, being a believer from a family of (mostly) believers, I'm in the relatively happy position that there's a standard Church of Scotland order of service for funerals - it's more or less a matter of picking some favoured hymns and readings to "fill in the blanks". (Which probably sounds colder than it is - it's just one less thing to worry about at what is likely to be a difficult time.)

I suspect, but don't yet know, that my grandfather will have a humanist funeral when the time comes. I have no idea what that might entail, but knowing him he'll have the whole thing carefully organised.

I have no intention or desire to have a funeral.

If there is to be some sort of gathering, I'd like it to be a celebration. And, when its done, I want this done to what's left of my body (after carving it up for spare parts for those who need them)...

http://mic.com/articles/112238/these-organic-burial-pods-will-turn-your-remains-into-a-tree

I want this done to what's left of my body (after carving it up for spare parts for those who need them)...

http://mic.com/articles/112238/these...ns-into-a-tree

Read more: http://www.enworld.org/forum/showthread.php?463007-Death-a-religious-institution#ixzz3eTLLfJJA

Click to expand...

I've heard of that, and I think that is cool. Unfortunately, how sad would it make the family if the tree dies or is stricken ill/infested?

Bullgrit

Morrus said:

U

I've been to non-religious funerals.

That said, the funeral is really for those left behind rather than the deceased. IMO, my funeral can be whatever helps my family through the process.

Click to expand...

I would think that's the whole point of the funeral home. You set up the room, put the casket with body in front, have some seating, and folks come up and pay their respects.

Don't need a preacher to do that, and just about every funeral home ought to be eager to do it that way (rather than shipping you off to a church for the same).

They don't all have to be sad affairs either. I've been to a "celebration of life" by a catholic family even. No crying. No padres in sight.

Bullgrit said:

I've heard of that, and I think that is cool. Unfortunately, how sad would it make the family if the tree dies or is stricken ill/infested?

Bullgrit

Click to expand...

Such is life and death. By committing to being, effectively, recycled, I am letting my family know that my body is not what matters once I'm dead.

Kiraya_TiDrekan said:

I have no intention or desire to have a funeral.

If there is to be some sort of gathering, I'd like it to be a celebration. And, when its done, I want this done to what's left of my body (after carving it up for spare parts for those who need them)...

http://mic.com/articles/112238/these-organic-burial-pods-will-turn-your-remains-into-a-tree

Click to expand...

well, make sure your NoK agrees with you if you feel strongly about it.

Bullgrit said:

I've heard of that, and I think that is cool. Unfortunately, how sad would it make the family if the tree dies or is stricken ill/infested?

Click to expand...

Chances are that will be months if not years after most folks have come to terms with the loss.

Forking thread
http://www.enworld.org/forum/showth...-s-family-have-an-intrinsic-right-to-the-body

My mother and step-father hadn't been a part of any church for as long as I can remember (decades), if ever. When my step-father died suddenly, (8? years ago), my mother had to arrange the funeral. Now, she was in a distraught state, as you can imagine. She needed someone to perform the eulogy, and that's usually a clergyman. She called a local church to ask if the pastor would do the duty. But he was not helpful, and asked why he would do that for someone not a member of his church

Click to expand...

Wow. Epic fail there: not only on the "human compassion" front, but also on the "reach out to unbelievers" front.

Click to expand...

Most faith institutions will not extend their services- matrimonial or funeral- to those outside the faith. Why should they? They don't have unlimited resources. Both take time, effort and a commitment by personnel that they will naturally want to prioritize for members of their own flock, a member of the faith who attends services elsewhere, or- rarely- with other religious or secular institutions with whom they have a contractual (and often reciprocal) agreement.

Kiraya_TiDrekan said:

I have no intention or desire to have a funeral.

If there is to be some sort of gathering, I'd like it to be a celebration. And, when its done, I want this done to what's left of my body (after carving it up for spare parts for those who need them)...

http://mic.com/articles/112238/these-organic-burial-pods-will-turn-your-remains-into-a-tree

Click to expand...

I'm of much the same mind on the matter. Spend as little money as possible to dispose of what's left, after anything useful has been taken to try and make the life of another better.

And don't you know that's how they make Treants?