Who would tell you that you look stupid?

Bullgrit

Adventurer

• Jul 1, 2015

• #1

The Donald Trump pics in another thread brought this thought to my mind.

My wife and I have an agreement. If we think the other one looks bad in some way -- bad haircut, bad clothes, bad shoes, onion breath, whatever -- we not only have the permission to point it out (politely), but we have the responsibility to do so. We both say, "Don't let me leave the house looking stupid."

Do you have someone in your life who will tell you when you look bad? Has anyone given you permission to tell them?

Have you ever told someone you know and care about, but who hasn't explicitly given you permission, that they look bad? How did that go?

Have you ever told a stranger that something was wrong? How did that go?

Where do you draw the line for telling a stranger? Would you tell someone they had spinach between their teeth? How about toilet paper stuck to their shoe? Or hanging out of their pants/skirt? How about if their comb over was just so bad?

Bullgrit

 

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delericho

Legend

• Jul 1, 2015

• #2

Well, my wife routinely tells me that, but I suspect it's not quite what you mean!

And I certainly wouldn't tell a stranger any such thing. I'd consider that terribly rude. A friend yes, and a colleague maybe, but not a stranger.

 

Dannyalcatraz

Schmoderator

Staff member

Supporter

• Jul 1, 2015

• #3

Yes, there are people who call me out, and people for whom I do likewise. Some have even asked me to.

For me, how I handle strangers is situational. I've commented on things big & small...and likewise let both pass.

 

Umbran

Mod Squad

Staff member

Supporter

• Jul 1, 2015

• #4

Bullgrit said:

Do you have someone in your life who will tell you when you look bad?

Click to expand...

Other than being "work appropriate" when I go to work, nobody cares what I look like. I am not, and never will be, a fashion plate.

My wife always looks wonderful. If she tries to leave the house looking stupid, it is because it is a costume piece. Otherwise, if she tires to go out of the house looking bad, I stop her not because she's looking stupid, but because it is an indication she's probably ill, and shouldn't be going out at all.

While she will ask me if things go together, that is more to verbalize and externalize her clothing thought process. It isn't like I'm actually going to know better than her what looks good.

 

Bullgrit

Adventurer

• Jul 1, 2015

• #5

It isn't like I'm actually going to know better than her what looks good.

Click to expand...

When my wife comes to me for fashion advice:


Bullgrit

 

Dog Moon

Adventurer

• Jul 2, 2015

• #6

When I was married, my wife would let me know if I was leaving the house looking stupid in anyway. I didn't need to tell her anything because with the amount of time she spent getting ready, she most assuredly never left the house looking stupid.

These days, I just have to rely on my own opinion, for better for or worse.

As for strangers, and even friends, I tend to not say anything. Especially for strangers I feel like it would just cause more trouble than it's worth. Kinda like saying "Congratulations on the baby" to a woman who is actually just a bit chubby. Better to not say anything at all.

 

megamania

Hero

• Jul 2, 2015

• #7

If I show up and the wife laughs or giggles then my hair is a mess or something of the such.

As for friends..... fly is down. But of course I wait until a few hours to pass this on

 

D

Dioltach

Legend

• Jul 2, 2015

• #8

My wife decided to spare herself having to tell me I look stupid and just buy my clothes for me. Anything that I buy for myself generally receives disapproving comments not very far down the line.

As for other people: if they want to know whether they look stupid, they should get someone of their own to tell them. Not my responsibility. (But I also make sure not to make comments behind their back.)

 

J

Jhaelen

First Post

• Jul 2, 2015

• #9

I have a co-worker who is incredibly blunt and will tell everyone what he thinks is wrong with their outfit or looks.
I'd never point it out to a stranger. I'm even reluctant to say something to friends, because some didn't take it well in the past.