[Rant] The Hobbit Movies are an Abomination

I can't seem to avoid those monstrosities that Peter Jackson churned out as HBO keeps playing them, again and again. But as I write this I'm watching a few minutes of the bloated Battle of Five Armies and I could help but ask that cliche, but potent question: What would John Ronald Reuel think? I shudder to imagine.

Where the flaws and excesses of the Lord of the Rings films were forgivable because it was so clearly based upon a love of the source material, aside from a few cringe-worthy moments (e.g. the infamous "imagine a queen, both beautiful and terrible!" Galadriel freak out, or the excessive sentimentality of "Oh Sam!") they were pretty good films to boot. They captured, as best they could, the feel of Middle-earth.

But the Hobbit movies...well, they are to the original LotR films as episodes 1-3 of Star Wars were to the original trilogy. A soul-less, materialistic, CGI mockery. A total travesty. Where the LotR movies were flawed but beautiful homages to Tolkien, the Hobbit films are like searching his grave-site for valuables people might have left.

I did kind of like the Lonely Mountain sequence, with Smaug being pretty good and the Dwarvish halls being visually stunning. And of course there were other visual thrills. But I couldn't help but feel like it was all just a paper-thin spectacle veiling a money-grabbing ruse. I would have rather have seen Jackson produce a single movie that was for younger people, that didn't try to dredge up the leavings of the earlier films.

OK, I'll stop, but I could go on...

For shame, Peter Jackson.

You shouldn't really blame only Jackson. He didn't really want to direct the Hobbit movies. He was kind of forced to do it.

I enjoyed them. Granted, the extended editions of the first two at least are head and shoulders above the cinema releases, and hopefully the third will be too. But I liked how the story had been adapted to suit a movie-going audience of 80 years later. So it wasn't a literal retelling -- it was still a series of enjoyable, escapist adventure movies. And that's pretty much all I ask for.

The Extended Editions are indeed a distinct improvement over the cinema versions. Which is odd, since my biggest complaint in the cinema was that they were too long, and the EEs are, obviously, longer. But the pacing just works better with the extra material.

But the comparison with the Star Wars prequels is pretty apt, IMO - there's quite a lot of good stuff in the Hobbit movies, but it's buried under a lot of stuff that just doesn't work.

All IMO, of course.

Mercurius said:

I would have rather have seen Jackson produce a single movie that was for younger people, that didn't try to dredge up the leavings of the earlier films.

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This. Or alternatively, I'd have been interested to see Guillermo del Toro's version of The Hobbit.

Imho, the biggest mistake with the Hobbit movies was that Peter Jackson tried to turn it into a sequel (prequel?!) of the LotR movies, rather than realizing the material would have been better served with a different approach that preserved the source's appeal for a younger audience. That, and inflating the (rather simple) story completely out of proportion.

I finally made it through the third movie, a while back, after having shut it off partway through. Horrible, bloated, CGI crap. "The Hobbit" is a nice, little story that could have been done well in a single movie. It's a story of coming to maturity. The movie added a bunch of garbage, to the original story, that could easily be skipped. It was remade into epic scale, where epic scale didn't exist in the original.

I'm not one of the people who lamented the additions in "Lord of the Rings." I didn't go on about how Galadiel's dress was the wrong colour and the like, as did some of the Tolkien purists. I thought that they were good adaptations of the original books to screen. I would gladly see "The Hobbit" series erased from the collective consciousness.

Mercurius said:

But the Hobbit movies...well, they are to the original LotR films as episodes 1-3 of Star Wars were to the original trilogy. A soul-less, materialistic, CGI mockery. A total travesty. Where the LotR movies were flawed but beautiful homages to Tolkien, the Hobbit films are like searching his grave-site for valuables people might have left.

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Perhaps they are a souless money grab, but comparing them to Eps 1-3 is going too far, IMO. Now, I am not a die-hard fan of Tolkien (I actually enjoy more swords and sorcery pulp action) but I have been around the books a number of times. The movies certainly took an "action movie" approach to slower paced childrens book (and perhaps lost its soul), but its not the abomination that is Eps1-3 for Star Wars.

If taken on their own (ie, ignore the book), the movies were OK. I think if they would have moved all the Necromancer stuff to the 3rd movie that would have worked much better. They could have focused a bit more on the Hobbit story that most people "know" in the first two. Then all the other stuff "say, where was Gandalf, and what is the consequence of all this loot?" would have flowed better. The Necromancer/5 Armies story would have blended very nicely if paced right.

While they did shove a few elves in there that were not in the story, at least it was not kids in pod racers /Jar Jar Binks/Space Jesus. You could very well infer that Legolas would have been part of that story (he was from that Elven kingdom, right? My lack of Tolkien cred here) so while its annoying from a canonical perspective it has a fun connection to LoTR given the immortality of elves. The Necromancer stuff was in the story but not detailed. They had a nice build up, but it sorta fell flat as it went in the 3rd movie (again, I think if it would have been self contained in 3 it would have flowed better).

SW Eps1-3 are just BAD. I cringe to watch them. There just seems to be something cringe-worthy in about every scene. I have probably seen more of these movies that I should have based on their value due to the very entertaining Red Letter Media reviews of them. Even with the Machete viewing option, I really wonder if I will ever show my kids any of Eps 1-3. Its in the Ewok Christmas special bucket - its out there, but it does not exist. Now the Clone Wars animated series on the other hand - excellent. It will likely fill in the Eps1-3 hole.

The Hobbit - I can watch them. The first two plus the first 10 minutes of the 3rd (but maybe minus the gold dwarf thing) are decent enough. They are below the LoTR but maybe on par with Jedi - pretty good, but still weak in places. They are not banned from viewing. But I would have my kids read the book first for sure.

You can grab some of my money if you at least entertain me. Hobbit has some entertainment value. SW Eps 1-3 is just garbage.

Find the David Killstein fanedit, which condenses the whole trilogy into three hours. I watched it this past week, and yeah, it is pretty good. There are some flaws that are unavoidable since the editor had to use existing material, but it comes together amazingly well. (The final battle is done in a montage, to capture the feeling of a tragic, hours-long battle without you actually having to watch that tedious crap.)

[MENTION=26651]amerigoV[/MENTION], I hear you and basically agree - it isn't an exact match, but it is close, imo. My point was mainly that the relationship of the Hobbit films to the LotR films was isomorphic to the relationship of eps 1-3 to the original trilogy.

But I do agree with you that if you take way any connection to Tolkien, the Hobbit films are passably entertaining. But it is hard to do that. But I do agree that it isn't quite the abomination that was eps 1-3 in that the Hobbit films don't damage the legacy of Tolkien, or even of the LotR film trilogy. It is hard not to feel that the eps 1-3 damage the Star Wars legacy - which is compounded by the CGI that was placed in later versions of eps 4-6.

Not to threadjack my own thread, but I do wonder how eps 1-3 would look with a simple re-casting of Anakin Skywalker, and the removal of the infamous "Noooo!" shriek of Vader at the end. Hayden Christiansen almost single-handedly ruined one of the greatest villians in cinematic and science fiction history with his ham-handed acting ("I hate you!"). A simple replacement of him with, I don't know, a young Tom Hardy, could have really changed the movies - Jar-Jar Binks, metaclurians and excessive CGI aside.

Mercurius said:

Not to threadjack my own thread, but I do wonder how eps 1-3 would look with a simple re-casting of Anakin Skywalker, and the removal of the infamous "Noooo!" shriek of Vader at the end. Hayden Christiansen almost single-handedly ruined one of the greatest villians in cinematic and science fiction history with his ham-handed acting ("I hate you!"). A simple replacement of him with, I don't know, a young Tom Hardy, could have really changed the movies - Jar-Jar Binks, metaclurians and excessive CGI aside.

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The whole thing is rather broken, IMO. I know same fans have recut it, but it just misses in so many places. If you have never watched http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/ reviews, give it a shot. It really hits home just how badly made those movies are. Its script, direction, setting, and just stuff does not make sense.

And it just not have to be that way. Clone Wars animated series proves it. And its not like CWaS is the best thing ever, but a good 80-90% of it was done right IMO.

I do get your broader point and I know its hard to divorce the literature from the movie wrt the Hobbit. Both sets of movies failed against high expectations established by their predecessors. But that is why I kinda cringe at the EPS 1-3 comparison. Hobbit has a direct comparison in another media that worsens your enjoyment of an otherwise "meh" set of movies. That is what it is and I have no issue with that (your opinion, I at times I share it). But SW Eps1-3 is just horrible on its own. There is no media analog to suggest they did it wrong. Its just clear that they did it wrong .