CERAMIC D.M. (not the current one, a year old) - Page 12





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  1. #111
    Registered User
    Acolyte (Lvl 2)

    Sniktch's Avatar

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    Ignore Sniktch
    Any thread you can bump,
    I can bump better...
    I can bump any thread better than you!


    sorry; flexing my 'creative bumping' muscles now

 

  • #112
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    Speaker's Avatar

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    Ignore Speaker
    *bump*

    Nobody saw that...

  • #113
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    Sniktch's Avatar

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    Ignore Sniktch
    What was that? Did anyone else hear something?

  • #114
    Originally posted by Sniktch
    What was that? Did anyone else hear something?
    that ws the sound of me choking maldur!

  • #115
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    Ignore Sniktch
    What? For signing up as a judge and then zipping off to the UK on holiday?

  • #116
    Originally posted by Sniktch
    What? For signing up as a judge and then zipping off to the UK on holiday?
    no, no, nothing like tha,,,...oh, wait, yeah for that exactly

  • #117
    *is bored of bumping,so ties a rocket to the thread and lights the fuse* sssssssssssssboom and off goes the thread.
    mystras' chosen

  • #118
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    Ignore Maldur
    Im so sorry.

    I did send my judgement to clay .

    Sorry again, Im having to much of a good time.
    So many games, so little time!

  • #119
    maldur-

    busy at gencon uk, says noone is his choice

    alsih2o-

    thimblethesquit

    this is an unusual treatment for ceramic d.m., all the pictures are used decently well, if not with the most imaginative sense. i definetely laughed at this more than most


    noone of consequence

    good story, good twists, funny but on topic, i like this one all around. and i like it when someone merges two pics.

    hard one here, but i have to give it to nooneofconsequence.

    mirthcard-

    thimble the squit:

    Succinct and to the point. alsih2o says you're the
    anti-me for turning in your entry so quickly, I say
    that you might be the anti-arwink as well ... not that
    length matters. Enough with the jokes, on to the
    criticism. I am impressed by a number of things in
    your story, but most of all by your strength of voice.
    Your nameless protagonist never falters or sways from
    the voice that you give him in your opening sentence
    and that was enough to keep me hooked throughout. I
    feel as if I know him as soon as he speaks - his
    cocksure nature, his self-deprecating humor, his
    nonchalant heroism - all are revealed with the
    precision of a razor in the hands of a surgeon. It
    doesn't stop there. Your use of the ingredients is top
    notch as well, all are integral to the plot of the
    piece, all have purpose and meaning, nothing seems
    forced. However (you knew that was coming, didn't
    you?), the short length of your entry helps to keep
    the use of the ingredients balanced, because you don't
    really expound on any of them. You give the reader
    just enough to tantalize. That's where this entry
    starts to fall apart. There simply isn't an ending.
    There's no closure. I like a good pun as much as the
    next guy, but come on. That line seems more like a
    cop-out. You had PLENTY of time to beef this thing up,
    so you can't blame it on the deadline (like I often
    do). And now we've gotten to the meat of the problem,
    see? I want to know more! How does it end? Tell me!
    What does he do? Is the quandry you've put the judge
    in a good or a bad thing? Only time will tell ... or
    you could just skip to the end and find out. Unlike
    you, I have to give an ending - good or bad, whatever
    it bee.

    nooneofconsequence:

    Alas, poor Treffin, I knew him well. What's that you
    say? He's not dead? Well, he will be soon enough, if
    I'm any judge of character, and I think I am. Now I'll
    prove it, shall I? Class, here we have a classic
    example of a Ceramic DM entry: the balanced and
    thoughtful use of ingredients accompanied by an
    entertaining and captivating story. Points continue to
    flood in as we examine such important elements as plot
    (check!), characterization (check!), voice (check!),
    context (check!), mood (check!), action (check!),
    heroism (check!), villainy (check!), and above all
    nudity (check! check! check!) ... Ahem. I would have
    to say, class, that a name change is in order, for if
    this entry is anything to judge by, we have found
    ourselves SomeoneOfConsequence. But wait, there is one
    glaring exception to this otherwise prime example of
    an entry. One fudge round to the first person who can
    tell me what is wrong with this picture, so to speak.
    Yes, you in the back of the class, Mr. Clay is it?
    Yes, that's right. HE FORGOT TO LABEL THE PICTURES IN
    THE TEXT!!!!!!!!! Here's your fudge round. To be fair,
    the other guy forgot as well.

    In this extremely close round, I have to give the
    bittersweet victory to NoOneOfConsquence for his
    point-for-point definition of a Ceramic DM winner
    (well except for one point, really

    looks like a unanimous decision for noone of consequence

  • #120
    baroomcore vs mystraschosen

    maldur-
    busy at gencon uk, says barsoomcore for him

    alsih2o-

    barsoomcore
    rome seems to creep up again and again opn these boards, when are we gonan see the great roman supplement?
    the tension fo thsi story is good and i like the handling of the pig a lot. the tubes as gods digesting the roman is what clinches it tho.



    mystraschosen
    i would have liked it better if i had been given more of an insight into the windcatchers, but
    i have to say the giant pig mount entertained me greatly. a decent handling of the pictures in a story
    with a very epic feel, good stuff

    i have to go with barsoomcore on this one

    mirthcard-

    barsoomcore:

    The story itself was muddy, and I mean that in a good
    way ... mostly. The tidbits about what really happened
    that are strewn throughout the story are nice and it
    definitely adds to the overwhelming despair of the
    piece. As a reader I was sucked into the moment of the
    Roman soldier crossing the field. Good descriptive
    language, good use of characterization. However, I got
    lost a bit when the Nasennius went to hide under the
    trees/bushes. The muddy transition here was filled
    with too many unknown variables for me as a reader to
    understand exactly what was going on. The old man
    brought things back into sharp focus and the
    interchange between the family members and the Roman
    were really well done, culminating in a very nice
    fight scene. This clash with its heartbeat pacing is
    probably my favorite part of the story, but I was
    again lost as to how it actually ended. Another
    confusing transition and all of my expectations are
    overturned. Turns out the Roman I felt I was supposed
    to be sympathetic towards in the beginning is really a
    cold-blooded murderer. I think. But I'm not sure. Just
    as I'm not sure what the "god" is or many other things
    ... Vassinus Augendus? Paullus? Epiran? These terms
    are thrown about but I have no real idea what they
    mean, only my vague assumptions. But when you switch
    back to the Roman's point of view inside the "god," I
    find myself sucked right back into the moment again.
    (The "god" did seem a bit forced also. The other
    ingredients were strong, however.) This piece has so
    many moments that just needed a stronger cohesive
    backdrop. It's a little bit out of focus, making me
    feel like I'm experiencing the story looking through
    clear jelly.

    mystraschosen:

    Hmm ... where to start? I like the details. The world
    you've created here seems structured and believable.
    You have glorious heroes, a deceptive villain, exotic
    locales, a gory battle - everything that makes D&D
    such fun. But I wonder if you wouldn't have been
    better off writing this up as a game scenario rather
    than a story. The ideas seem like they would work so
    well as an adventure. As a narrative, however, I
    thought it was a bit hard to get through. You've
    already talked about the grammatical errors, so I'm
    not referring only to those. The problems seem more
    symptomatic of an overall structural error. For
    instance, you begin with an interchange between two
    old friends, a fine choice, and we as readers start to
    get a feeling for their relationship to each other and
    a sense of who they are as individuals, but then the
    scene abruptly ends. Instead of allowing the
    characters to evolve naturally or speak for
    themselves, it seemed as if you were dragging me from
    place to place, action to action. I felt that the
    piece was more like a recount of a gaming session than
    a story I could lose myself in, and that unfortunately
    put me off as a reader. In addition, your use of
    ingredients was a bit off, something that is crucial
    to winning a Ceramic DM contest. You focused well on
    the first picture, but then it seemed as if only
    cursory attention was being paid to pictures two and
    four (although I must say the halfling yelling "HOOF!"
    to the giant pig had me laughing out loud) and picture
    three seemed as if it was only in the story because it
    had to be, not because it was important. In the end, I
    felt your ideas were strong but your execution could
    have been better. I hope my criticism here hasn't been
    too harsh and I also hope this doesn't put you off
    competing in the future. If you ever wanted to write
    this up as a short adventure, I would love to use it.


    I give this round to barsoomcore.

    unanimous round to barsoomcore
    Last edited by alsih2o; Tuesday, 22nd April, 2003 at 07:22 PM.

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